My dad is getting married! Help me figure something out [Archive]

Sugar Magnolia

05-09-2009, 04:12 PM

My dad is getting remarried this November. I am so excited for him. My dad is my best friend besides my dh. Its going to be a small ceremony, which he is flying my family (6 of us) out for. The wedding is the weekend before Thanksgiving. He has asked if we would stay over Thanksgiving and spend it with him and his new wife.

Under normal family circumstances that would be no problem. But since he announced his engagement, my mom and my mil have been making plans for us while we are out there. Which I think is a little selfish, but I am pregnant and moody. We are going to be staying at his house and he will be staying with his wife.

How should I handle this with my mom and mil? I don't get along that great with either of them because they like to take charge and tell me what I am going to do. Its my dad's wedding and if we are out there for the week, we will spend time with our other family. But I feel like we are out there to celebrate with him.

misshollygolightly

05-09-2009, 06:18 PM

Hmmm. Maybe you could go ahead and tell mom and MIL exactly when (what days or meals or whatever) you're planning to spend time with them. You could even say something like "Hey, we would really like to spend some time with you on Wednesday and/or Thursday! Do those dates work for you?" Then, if they start trying to book you on another day as well, you could simply say that you're planning on spending that time with you father and his new wife. I don't know the people involved, but would it help if you phrased it as though you especially wanted to spend Thanksgiving (or whatever time) with your father and his new wife so that you could be sure she felt welcomed to the family and/or you could get to know her a little better? It sounds like a sticky situation, but I think your best bet is to preemptively tell mom and MIL exactly which days you want to spend with them. That way they know they're going to get to see you and they can concentrate their planning energies in that direction.