I am so happy to hear that YOUR baby sleeps through the night

[Melbel]

I ran into a friend at the grocery store yesterday with her infant. After discussing how my 11 month old reflux baby STILL gets up 3-4x per night to BF and can only eat 3 ounces per feeding and how completely exhausted we are, she states, "well then I won't tell you that MY BABY has slept from 9PM to 8AM since 8 weeks." SOOOOOOOOO NOT HELPFUL AND DOWNRIGHT CRUEL. Why do people feel it necessary to say these things????

[mommylamb]

No one should do anything to upset the sleep deprived. I'm so sorry that you're still going through that. I'm sure you've talked to the ped already about reflux meds. I'm also sorry your poor little one has to deal with that...

[Melbel]

No one should do anything to upset the sleep deprived. I'm so sorry that you're still going through that. I'm sure you've talked to the ped already about reflux meds. I'm also sorry your poor little one has to deal with that...

Thanks! We have been on relux meds since she was about 1 month old. She has been doing much better on Zegerid, a PPI, using the dosing on marci-kids. Her doctors say it is one of the worst cases they have seen in years. My little overachiever....

She should definitely turn a corner when she starts walking, so at least there is light at the end of the tunnel!

[tnrnchick74]

I've dealt with that too. I usually say VERY sarcastically "Well, it must be NICE to get some sleep! I have no clue how that feels!" That usually shuts them up! Of course I also post the "sleep bulletin" on facebook, so people I work with have a heads up to NOT brag about how much their baby is sleeping...that helps too!

And when I'm not totally sleep deprived, I am glad that they are sleeping so much. HUGS!!! Been there, still doing it!

[Melbel]

Of course I also post the "sleep bulletin" on facebook, so people I work with have a heads up to NOT brag about how much their baby is sleeping...that helps too!


LOL! She actually asked about DD2's sleeping b/c of a couple of my FB posts. It did not deter her a bit!

[egoldber]

Ugh, I'm sorry. I know I did it with my first (who was just naturally a good sleeper) because I didn't know any better and was insensitive. :( I've paid for it with my second though. You gotta watch out for karma.....

[SnuggleBuggles]

Just say, "I know a lot of babies that sleep really well at that age too but it doesn't last." (my ds2 has never been an awesome sleeper but we just had this lovely 2 week stretch of good sleep only to have culminated in being up for 1+ hours the past 2 nights...17m separation anxiety, I think.) Or like Beth said, watch out for karma with future kids.

ANything you can one-up her on just to maybe rib her back? Walking? Eating? Playing? Talking? I might be tempted to say, "that's good. Did you know my little dear can multiply 3 digit numbers? We're so proud. " ;)

Beth

[KpbS]

No one should do anything to upset the sleep deprived. I'm so sorry that you're still going through that.

:yeahthat: :hug:

[Laurel]

What an A$$. I hope she walked away feeling like a jerk after your conversation. I have had two non-sleepers (one with reflux and you are just about to turn the corner, hang in there!) and feel your pain. Last night was a really good night for us- each kid only woke once! At times, I have limited contact with people who bragged about their kids sleep. I also lied/omitted about my kids sleep to avoid the issue.

[maestramommy]

I ran into a friend at the grocery store yesterday with her infant. After discussing how my 11 month old reflux baby STILL gets up 3-4x per night to BF and can only eat 3 ounces per feeding and how completely exhausted we are, she states, "well then I won't tell you that MY BABY has slept from 9PM to 8AM since 8 weeks." SOOOOOOOOO NOT HELPFUL AND DOWNRIGHT CRUEL. Why do people feel it necessary to say these things????

If it hadn't been for this board, I would've wondered what was wrong with my kids. They didn't sleep through the night til well after the 9 month mark, and they didn't have reflux or any other issue. They were just hungry. But I felt better when all of those 8 week sleepers started waking with every new tooth, sniffle, fever, tummy ache, etc, and mine slept like the dead through all of that, at least until the bad dreams started :ROTFLMAO:

[KBecks]

I know! My good friend in playgroup has a son almost the same age as Mark and they have made him CIO about a month ago. Fine for them. But she asks me nearly every time I see her how Mark is sleeping and mentions that her son is sleeping through the night. I am jealous, yes, yes!

I am fine with where we are at. But it is cruel to do that once she knows you are stressed and sleep deprived. Throw a little salt in the wound?

[sste]

You know, I would say HALF-joking, as Kbecks mentioned, "Argh, are you rubbing salt in the wound here?" Just a little joke with an edge. Hopefully, she will take that hint.

When I am sleep-deprived I alternate between crying and fantasies of violence - - I think she is lucky you didn't break down or clock her!

[deborah_r]

No one should do anything to upset the sleep deprived.

Truer words were never spoken (or typed).

[tamie]

Sorry she said that- How rude!

[DrSally]

Mean! DS didn't sleep through the night until 10 months and DD is 9 months and still waking up 3-4 times a night. I feel lucky, though, b/c it was only a month ago that she was waking up 4-5 times a night. It's all relative. FWIW, I think when mom's talk honestly among each other, there are a lot more little ones that don't sleep through the night than we think. We only tend to hear about those that started sleeping through the night at 2 months!

[happymomma]

I think she was a jerk. Sometimes people feel the need to brag b/c they feel like b/c their kids sleep through the night, that means that they are better parents. Boo to them. I thought we were out of the woods with DD (she turned 3 in Feb) and was sleeping so well for so long but lately, she's been waking up a couple of times at night. I totally know what you feel.

[Melbel]

Thanks for all of the commiseration! If she did not know our background, it would not have been so bad. This is her 4th child, so she should know better. I flatly responded that I REALLY did not need to hear about it! I am sure my expression was rather demoralized too. I guess it could have been worse, I could have started balling in response to her comment! Most days I manage pretty well, but others I just completely hit a wall and feel like I cannot function. It has been a very difficult 11+ months and my health has suffered. You hate to wish away time, but at the same time cannot help but think "are we there yet"??? It is a good thing she is awfully cute! ;)

I would still like to think of her as a nice person who had a thoughtless moment. She does not seem like the type who would intentionally be cruel!

[DrSally]

She IS awfully cute!!

[MontrealMum]

Poor you, I can't imagine how you must feel with that little sleep. That is just downright mean of your friend! As if something parents do cause their babies to sleep or not sleep through the night. We were amazingly lucky that DS did sleep through quite early on - and I know that I did NOTHING absolutely nothing to cause that to happen. And we were very lucky not to be dealing with anything like reflux. But he certainly didn't sleep from 9 to 8 - what does she give that kid? Really, not joking about that. I'll add that although DS did sleep through early on, he did not continue to do so - it's not like some magic pass ;) So who knows what your friend has coming in her future.

Your DD is pretty darn cute - I'd be shameless and play that up around rude people :)

[Melaine]

UGH I'd like to say people don't realize how their words come across, but I gotta say: If you've had much parenting experience at all, you've got to realize this is REALLY offensive. People are amazingly rude. Sorry you are going through this. My girls were very late sleeping through the night (It was close to the 1 year mark). It's really tough to live on such little sleep, and even harder when your friends are so insensitive.

[NancyJ_redo]

She has been doing much better on Zegerid, a PPI, using the dosing on marci-kids.

You are totally living my life, but my DD is several months younger. I was all grumpy last night when my DH told me that his brother bragged that their 1.5 monther is already sleeping 8 hours straight. Meanwhile, we wake up about 5 times a night with our poor sleeper. I highly doubt my BIL is telling the truth, but at the same time it totally bugs me, esp in my sleep-deprived state.

We tried Zegerid for a while using the info at marci-kids, but my DD would throw it all up about 5 out of 7 days, so we switched back to Axid. It seems to be working well enough that she's not showing colicky signs anymore, but her sleep downright sucks so I wonder if it's the reflux making her wake up.

Anyway, I totally sympathize (or is it empathize?) with you.

[Melbel]

We tried Zegerid for a while using the info at marci-kids, but my DD would throw it all up about 5 out of 7 days, so we switched back to Axid. It seems to be working well enough that she's not showing colicky signs anymore, but her sleep downright sucks so I wonder if it's the reflux making her wake up.

I am sorry to hear that you are also struggling. My first 2 DC were not great sleepers until around 18 months to 2 years, but absolutely nothing compared to the challenges of a reflux baby. Axid did not work well for us at all. IIRC, it is in the same class as Zantac (not a PPI). With Zegerid, we had to tweak how we gave it to her to avoid her throwing it up. The sodium bicarbonate was bubbling up in her tummy causing the problem. Working with marci-kids to trouble shoot via email we came up with the following solution that has been working well for us:

We use the 40 mg pack (1/2 the sodium bicarbonate per mg active medicine), put it in a medicine measuring cup and then add enough water to make 10 ml. Next, use Tums cherry supreme (OTC packets), put in a medicine measuring cup and again add enough water to make 10 ml. Mix the two solutions together then add a dropper and a half of gas drops (i.e. mylicon). She fought us giving the medicine for a few months. Now, she seems to understand that it helps her feel better and willingly opens her mouth. She has even crawled to the refrigerator and started banging on it when she was due for a dose!

My thoughts on waking up - Since DD2 only takes a few ounces per feeding (BF but and occasional bottle of BM), she needs to refuel more frequently. Most nights, she goes right back to sleep. Last night, she was up for hours straight for some unknown reason (teething? reflux flare up?).

Just as a forewarning, crawling tends to result in an increase in symptoms due to their body positioning. Who would have thought that a 3rd time mom would be so anxious for the LO to walk?

[kijip]

What an unfortunate thing to say. I am sorry she was so insensitive. She really should not have mentioned it unless you asked. Even coming from the opposite end of the kid sleep thing, I agree it was really not helpful for her to chime in with that. It's like saying to someone who just lost their job that you got a raise and are going on safari in Africa or something. It's not the fact that her kid sleeps, it's the fact that the information is offered in direct response to your tale of being exhausted. Like someone adding in direct response to a woman relating that she has not been able to establish breastfeeding, that bf was 123 easy for them.

I keep my mouth shut and only tell how long T and F sleep if directly asked and even then, when it is someone dealing with constant night awakenings, I am quite vague---because not only do I not want anyone to feel badly, I don't want anyone to ask me "how did you do it" because my answer is they fell from the sky like this, I have no great or special or in anyway interesting method. I am flying by the seat of my pants like everyone else.