Help me look at the bright side of selling the house I love

[arivecchi]

We are selling our "forever" house because (1) the mortgage payment is gigantic and we want more financial freedom and (2) DH wants to start his own business and does not want to be responsible for such a huge mortgage payment while he gets his new business off the ground. I agree with the decision but am sick about it because I love our house, it is perfect for my family, I know we will lose most of our hard-earned equity and I just hate the selling process in general. I feel like we have worked hard for 10 years for nothing. Please help me look at the bright side here. I always feel like people here have such a helpful perspective on things....

[Jen841]

Better Financial Freedom in this economy is priceless! You may find something even better now or down the road. Pursue your dreams and don't be a slave to your house/mortgage.

We live in the house we have b/c we wanted more wiggle room financially. My house is dirtly b/c I put a higher value on family time vs. cleaning time.

Family is the heart of the home, not the structure.

[sste]

There is no such thing as a forever house. Truly. You would have moved for one reason or another - - a dc developing special schooling needs, a change of job/commute for you or your dh, downsizing when the kids left the nest. It was not *if* you were going to move but *when.*

The only thing to think about in your situation is when to sell. If you end up losing too much equity, does it make sense for your dh to wait 2-3 years (and let me tell you it will be at least that, housing recovery is NOT going to happen in 1 year or 18 mos as some are saying) to start his business venture?

[WatchingThemGrow]

I can see how it must be hard. BUT... I bet that since you were able to create a loving place for your family to thrive in THAT house, you can do the same in another house and be just as happy! Like a PP said, it is family that makes a home, not the structure.

Financial freedom and comfort IS nice, and we're on the side of "we've never upgraded" our home because we want to keep that freedom. I have to remind myself of that and our priorities from time to time.

A happy DH who enjoys getting his new business off the ground while not stressing about the gigantic mortgage, well, that speaks VOLUMES about how this is a good thing. Enjoy your happy DH :)

[BeachBum]

Hummmm...I think that as long as you are doing ok now, I'd wait to sell and open a new business until the economic conditions improve.

[arivecchi]

DH's new business idea has a ton of potential according to the market research he's done and he is a smart/hard-working guy, so I know he can pull it off. But putting that aside, I think he wants to get rid of the big mortgage regardless. We can swing it, but I think he just wants to be comfortable and not worry about money all the time. It is a very expensive house and we know we don't need that much house. It was a mistake to buy it in the first place. I would love to wait a couple of years until the market improves, but I don't think we can handle the stress for a couple more years. I know DH would rather lose some money now than continue living in stress and I don't want to stand in the way of that. Thanks for all the kind replies. I feel a lot better now. :)

[sste]

I should also add to my prior post that for a recent publication I ended up doing all this research on dislocated/relocated individuals - - people who left or lost their homes. Those people tended to overestimate (that is mispredict) the negative emotional impact of "losing" their home. In 6-24 months, the typical relocated/dislocated individual was as happy as they had been prior to the move (people that lost their homes due to traumatic natural disasters took longer to recover but even they were eventually fine!).

So, just remind yourself that you are thinking it is going to be worse than it actually is - - housing is just not such a big determinant of our personal happiness so long as we have shelter, friends, and family.

[jerseygirl07067]

two words...financial freedom! There is nothing like having peace of mind should someone get laid off or business to be slow when you have a lower mortgage payment.

I often wish we had a bigger house, but I love having a very reasonable mortgage payment. :)