Melaine
05-18-2009, 01:57 PM
twisty straws, Prozac, or Febreze to fix this terrible, awful, horrible, no-good, very bad day.
WHY why is it the days when I have my sights set SO high on getting SO much done that the entire world seems against me. Let's go chronologically, shall we...
6:00 AM Stupid beagle wakes me up, running around the room. Take off her collar so it will stop jingling, then put her on my bed (DH leaves early for work). She proceeds to jump up and down and run around the house so that I cannot fall asleep.
6:35 AM I fall back asleep finally, right before DDs wake up in a typically crabby mood.
6:50 AM Try to entice the girls with TV, but wind up having to fix breakfast and feed them in the living room.
7:30 AM Try to entice girls with TV AGAIN to no avail. Decide to get ready for the inevitable Walmart trip.
9:30 AM Finally ready for the stupid Walmart trip. Leave front door.
9:45 AM Leave drive-way. Yes, it does take that long, I swear.
10:00 AM Re-discover timeless truth: Walmart sucks. They just suck. HUGE whopping Super Walmart with only two, count them, TWO double carts. Thought I was lucky to find one then realized it was soaking wet. Get cart dried off, then realize straps are broken. Too late to back out now. DDs ride STANDING in the front of the double cart.
10:15 AM Tell DDs 27 thousand times to not stand on the seat. Stand on the floor of the little front cart car thingy. DO NOT STAND ON SEAT.
10:45 AM Criss-cross ginormous store finding about half of the items I actually needed, forgetting the other half. Tell DDs DO NOT STAND ON SEAT.
11:00 AM Spend 15 minutes locating a manager to politely suggest, ask, or beg, that the store "invest" in at least 2 working double carts. Manager looks at me as if I am a little OCD and then asks how old they are. "UMmmmm. Old enough to need to be buckled into a cart, and not old enough to walk along side it."
11:15 AM Unload groceries, get DDs into house, take incessantly barking dog outside, try to start chopping veggies to put in crock pot for soup. Turn around and DDs have sprinkled flour on roughly half of the contents of our pantry, and generously dusted themselves as well. Close door on pantry and try to forget that.
12:00 PM Give DDs lunch, realize (once it is too late) that all ingredients will not fit into crock pot. Recipe is probably now ruined as I haphazardly scoop out "half" of the ingredients.
12:10 PM Stupidly decide it is a good time to clean out fridge, so pull out most of fridge stuff all over the kitchen which is already covered in groceries, half chopped soup ingredients removed from pot and flour. Decide I should either clean out fridge much more often, or never.
12:25 PM Girls have taken applesauce and milk and made a paste that is now coating chairs and table, and their flour-dredged dresses, that, might I add, were new until today. DD1 cries because I refuse to replace milk she has deliberately poured all over kitchen.
12:30 PM Clean girls off, strip dirty clothes. DD2 cries that I will not let her continue living in filthy dress. Trash can is starting to smell from fridge which is still open and half scrubbed out. Counter is now covered in empty cans, choppings, half of ruined soup and the contents of fridge.
12:40 PM Something SMELLS. BEAGLE HAS POOPED IN LIVING ROOM. DDs are screaming in horror, still naked. Fridge is still open, food is all over kitchen. Applesauce/Milk paste is covering furniture. It gets worse.
12:45 PM Realize too late that BEAGLE HAS stepped in poop and tracked it on rug and floor. Capture beagle and cage her, while telling her of all the places she could live that would make me quite happy, realizing all the while that I will now have to bathe beagle and clean cage. DD1 starts crying because apparently, she has wet her diaper and that just CANNOT WAIT. Clean poop off of floor, apply carpet cleaner to rug and search fearfully for more.
1:00 PM Take girls to bedroom, change them, dress them and put them in bed for nap. Sigh in relief, start to leave bedroom. See poop-covered Croc (Croc Mammoth OF COURSE) in corner and realize the poop has now been theoretically spread from living room, down hall, and into girls' room, covering throw rugs, laminate floor, and carpeting in it's journey.
1:15 PM Cook chicken pot pie, fattiest food item I could find in freezer and eat it with a taboo Mt. Dew. Decide we must move to get away from the omnipresent poop.
Thanks if you hung on till the end. I think getting off Prozac was a huge mistake.
WHY why is it the days when I have my sights set SO high on getting SO much done that the entire world seems against me. Let's go chronologically, shall we...
6:00 AM Stupid beagle wakes me up, running around the room. Take off her collar so it will stop jingling, then put her on my bed (DH leaves early for work). She proceeds to jump up and down and run around the house so that I cannot fall asleep.
6:35 AM I fall back asleep finally, right before DDs wake up in a typically crabby mood.
6:50 AM Try to entice the girls with TV, but wind up having to fix breakfast and feed them in the living room.
7:30 AM Try to entice girls with TV AGAIN to no avail. Decide to get ready for the inevitable Walmart trip.
9:30 AM Finally ready for the stupid Walmart trip. Leave front door.
9:45 AM Leave drive-way. Yes, it does take that long, I swear.
10:00 AM Re-discover timeless truth: Walmart sucks. They just suck. HUGE whopping Super Walmart with only two, count them, TWO double carts. Thought I was lucky to find one then realized it was soaking wet. Get cart dried off, then realize straps are broken. Too late to back out now. DDs ride STANDING in the front of the double cart.
10:15 AM Tell DDs 27 thousand times to not stand on the seat. Stand on the floor of the little front cart car thingy. DO NOT STAND ON SEAT.
10:45 AM Criss-cross ginormous store finding about half of the items I actually needed, forgetting the other half. Tell DDs DO NOT STAND ON SEAT.
11:00 AM Spend 15 minutes locating a manager to politely suggest, ask, or beg, that the store "invest" in at least 2 working double carts. Manager looks at me as if I am a little OCD and then asks how old they are. "UMmmmm. Old enough to need to be buckled into a cart, and not old enough to walk along side it."
11:15 AM Unload groceries, get DDs into house, take incessantly barking dog outside, try to start chopping veggies to put in crock pot for soup. Turn around and DDs have sprinkled flour on roughly half of the contents of our pantry, and generously dusted themselves as well. Close door on pantry and try to forget that.
12:00 PM Give DDs lunch, realize (once it is too late) that all ingredients will not fit into crock pot. Recipe is probably now ruined as I haphazardly scoop out "half" of the ingredients.
12:10 PM Stupidly decide it is a good time to clean out fridge, so pull out most of fridge stuff all over the kitchen which is already covered in groceries, half chopped soup ingredients removed from pot and flour. Decide I should either clean out fridge much more often, or never.
12:25 PM Girls have taken applesauce and milk and made a paste that is now coating chairs and table, and their flour-dredged dresses, that, might I add, were new until today. DD1 cries because I refuse to replace milk she has deliberately poured all over kitchen.
12:30 PM Clean girls off, strip dirty clothes. DD2 cries that I will not let her continue living in filthy dress. Trash can is starting to smell from fridge which is still open and half scrubbed out. Counter is now covered in empty cans, choppings, half of ruined soup and the contents of fridge.
12:40 PM Something SMELLS. BEAGLE HAS POOPED IN LIVING ROOM. DDs are screaming in horror, still naked. Fridge is still open, food is all over kitchen. Applesauce/Milk paste is covering furniture. It gets worse.
12:45 PM Realize too late that BEAGLE HAS stepped in poop and tracked it on rug and floor. Capture beagle and cage her, while telling her of all the places she could live that would make me quite happy, realizing all the while that I will now have to bathe beagle and clean cage. DD1 starts crying because apparently, she has wet her diaper and that just CANNOT WAIT. Clean poop off of floor, apply carpet cleaner to rug and search fearfully for more.
1:00 PM Take girls to bedroom, change them, dress them and put them in bed for nap. Sigh in relief, start to leave bedroom. See poop-covered Croc (Croc Mammoth OF COURSE) in corner and realize the poop has now been theoretically spread from living room, down hall, and into girls' room, covering throw rugs, laminate floor, and carpeting in it's journey.
1:15 PM Cook chicken pot pie, fattiest food item I could find in freezer and eat it with a taboo Mt. Dew. Decide we must move to get away from the omnipresent poop.
Thanks if you hung on till the end. I think getting off Prozac was a huge mistake.