Would you care if your DH told sex stories to his friends?

[Corie]

Would you care if your husband told sex stories about you to
his friends?

My DH's best friend is always telling the guys sex stories about his
wife. The stories are extremely way TMI and personal. I really
don't want to know this much about the wife. (But, she is rather
snooty so it is a *little* funny.)

Would this bother you?

[MrsZaz]

Absolutely! It would bother the $#@% out of me. Does the wife have any idea what is going on? How embarassing for her.

Colleen

[Tammy]

Yep- it would bother me too.

[sste]

I would be dialing the divorce attorney if I found out dh was telling sex stories about me, in the manner you describe, to his friends. I would be very uncomfortable if one of dh's friends was telling sex stories about his own wife. It is one thing to make comments of the we had a fantastic honeymoon or we are having a tough time right now variety - - but what you are describing your dh's friend doing is very low rent, in my opinion.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Not cool. I would seriously question the maturity of this guy...and may encourage dh to upgrade his friends.

Beth

[vludmilla]

Yuck. I would be very upset and shocked.

[fortato]

Really???

I couldn't care less. He's lucky he gets to have sex with me. So, tell everyone! But, that's just me, and I tell my friends everything.

[Corie]

Really???

I couldn't care less. He's lucky he gets to have sex with me. So, tell everyone! But, that's just me, and I tell my friends everything.


See, I'm somewhere in the middle. I know it's probably discussed in
general terms but just leave out the details. :)

Because you are right, Kristen, I do discuss sex with my close friends.

[katydid1971]

let's just say that if I caught DH doing that, he wouldn't have anything to talk about for a long time.

[mom_hanna]

let's just say that if I caught DH doing that, he wouldn't have anything to talk about for a long time.

Yeah, that. ( I don't know how to do those cool icons you all use.)

[MMMommy]

Yes, it would bother me. I always felt that, the more respect a man has for you, the less info (sexual info) he shares with others. Also, I would be so embarrassed to know that others knew intimate details about me.

[Happy 2B mommy]

I would bug me a LOT. That being said, I do *very occasionally* discuss my sex life with my best friend. But it's not bragging, TMI, all the details sort of discussion.

[purpleeyes]

Not cool. I would seriously question the maturity of this guy...and may encourage dh to upgrade his friends.

Beth

:yeahthat:

[wellyes]

I actually think it's OK to vent to your friends, even about bedroom stuff. Some people, particularly guys, only know how to vent through "funny" stories.

What I would be less cool with, honestly, is that your husband then passes along the stories told to "the guys" to you. I don't believe in secrets between married partners, of course, but I question why he's telling you any of this.

[ThreeofUs]

I'd be more than bothered; I'd feel like my DH had turned our marriage bed into a peep show. He certainly wouldn't have any stories to share after I found out.

[Melaine]

I talk about it all the time to my girl friends, I don't mind if DH did the same, but he never would in 1000 years. That being said he is extremely private, so I know he wouldn't share anything embarrassing and would probably only talk in general terms to very close friends, which wouldn't bother me.
On the other hand, details, TMI type stuff, that would not be cool. And I wouldn't want to hear that DH's friends were sharing those with him either! Then again, DH wouldn't listen, he would walk away from that conversation in a heartbeat.
By the way, DH does know that I talk about it to my friends and he doesn't mind. Well, he never told me to stop anyway!

[maestramommy]

It sure as hell would bother me, I'd be livid! And vice versa too. Dh is very private, I can't even picture him telling a friend if we had a fight.

[Corie]

What I would be less cool with, honestly, is that your husband then passes along the stories told to "the guys" to you. I don't believe in secrets between married partners, of course, but I question why he's telling you any of this.



I find it quite humorous that you are questioning the integrity of *my* husband.

[infomama]

I don't discuss my sex life with my friends and neither does DH. That guy has some serious (im)maturity issues.

[KBecks]

That is just weird. IMO, single guys are the ones who brag once in a while but married men should keep it to themselves.

[wellyes]

I find it quite humorous that you are questioning the integrity of *my* husband.

Aw, I'm not really questioning his integrity. But at the same time - if I shared a confidence with my best girlfriend about my sex life I would *hope* she wouldn't pass it along to her husband. I don't see this situation as being any different from that. I know plenty of guys who share feelings by telling joking stories.

[maestramommy]

Aw, I'm not really questioning his integrity. But at the same time - if I shared a confidence with my best girlfriend about my sex life I would *hope* she wouldn't pass it along to her husband. I don't see this situation as being any different from that. I know plenty of guys who share feelings by telling joking stories.

If I shared anything personal with my BF and didn't want her dh to know, I'd ask her not to tell, and she wouldn't. If I didn't ask, I would assume she might tell her dh. I tell my Dh most things.

I'm with Corie. I'm sorta in between letting it all hang out and not sharing a thing. My sex life isn't something I chat idly about just to tell stories. But if you're in a group of girlfriends, and someone has a question, needs advice, etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing. Depends on the level of friendship of course. And I'd probably leave out the TMI details as much as possible.

[TwinFoxes]

What I wouldn't be cool with is the fact that her DH seems to be making her the butt of all of the jokes. That's what I got from the OP at least. It's one thing to tell funny stories, it's another for the husband to always make fun of his wife.

[SnuggleBuggles]

If I shared anything personal with my BF and didn't want her dh to know, I'd ask her not to tell, and she wouldn't. If I didn't ask, I would assume she might tell her dh. I tell my Dh most things.

I'm with Corie. I'm sorta in between letting it all hang out and not sharing a thing. My sex life isn't something I chat idly about just to tell stories. But if you're in a group of girlfriends, and someone has a question, needs advice, etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing. Depends on the level of friendship of course. And I'd probably leave out the TMI details as much as possible.

I was going to :yeahthat: just the 1st part but ITA with the 2nd part too. :)

Beth

[DietCokeLover]

let's just say that if I caught DH doing that, he wouldn't have anything to talk about for a long time.

Ditto that here too.

[Moneypenny]

I personally wouldn't be happy if DH did that, but perhaps the couple in the OP have a different kind of relationship. I don't even really discuss my sex life with my girlfriends other than things that apply mostly to me (like how soon after having a kid to get things going again, did my sex drive increase or decrease during pregnancy, etc). I would never share specific details about DH and/or our 'activities' unless I cleared it with him first.

[daisyd]

I'd be livid. It seems disrespectful of the spouse and the relationship.

[Fairy]

Yes, this would bother me.

[DebbieJ]

In generalities, no.

Specifics, yes.

[Sillygirl]

Bragging, wouldn't care.
Complaining, would.

[clc053103]

As long as he made me sound like a swinging-from-the chandeliers supermodel, sure!!! LOL!!

[lizajane]

depends.

if DH tells his BEST FRIEND a story, well that is just fine. if he told a colleague-friend or someone he didn't know well, um, yuck.

[Fairy]

Yes, this would bother me.

However, after reading thru some of this, I will amend this to say that I think everyone needs a close friend they trust that they can talk with. Girls and guys, doesn't matter, by human nautre, I think we need real, true, close friendship. I think it's unrealistic to say that our relationships may never been discussed outside of said relationship. If DH were kissing and telling in general to a group of his friends or otherwise be engaged in the context in which I originally read the post, I'd have a real problem with that. But if DH needed to talk to his close, trusted friend about our relationship, I would understand that. I mean, some things have to be intimately private, and that's that. But I'd be ok with DH's inteerpretation of that line.

[Melaine]

However, after reading thru some of this, I will amend this to say that I think everyone needs a close friend they trust that they can talk with. Girls and guys, doesn't matter, by human nautre, I think we need real, true, close friendship. I think it's unrealistic to say that our relationships may never been discussed outside of said relationship. If DH were kissing and telling in general to a group of his friends or otherwise be engaged in the context in which I originally read the post, I'd have a real problem with that. But if DH needed to talk to his close, trusted friend about our relationship, I would understand that. I mean, some things have to be intimately private, and that's that. But I'd be ok with DH's inteerpretation of that line.

:yeahthat:

I didn't give this a whole lot of thought before answering and on reading back some other responses I think I should amend my answer. I do talk to my friends about sex pretty freely. I am talking about very close, trusted friends. I am NOT talking about sharing "stories" about specific TMI-type encounters in the bedroom....if that makes sense. Not "OMG my husband did the funniest thing last night in bed...." Heck no.

[Corie]

As long as he made me sound like a swinging-from-the chandeliers supermodel, sure!!! LOL!!


I'd have no problem with that either!

[GlindaGoodWitch]

Bragging, wouldn't care.
Complaining, would.
Ha ha! Right?

Hmmm. I don't think I'd really mind even with details so long as the story had a point. Even if I were the butt of the joke. (You kinda have to live in my world to know this, but I'm the butt of the joke - A LOT.) And I just like DH's stories to have a point in general. Who wants to listen to someone blathering on for no reason about anything?

And I totally agree with the PPs that said that Corie's husband telling her is pretty much to be expected unless specifically asked not to.

Maybe it's because of the environment I work in (telephone telegraph tell a stewardess) or because after having 2 kids and all the fertility stuff that went along with them that I'm just totally desensitized to these kind of things. As a matter of fact, I'd much rather hear some TMI sex story than a TMI "why did he dump me" pity party.

[sste]

Maybe I am misreading the OP, but my impression was that this guy was talking about his wife in a pretty graphic way and not a complimentary one. Comments that were jokes at her expense, possibly imitations of her, and that were very, very personal. And that it was not with one or two best friends but a small group that he was entertaining with his stories.

I am a private person. My DH knows this. He would not do this type of thing because 1) he would view it as disrespectful and as compromising our intimacy; and 2) because he knows I would be devastated and so mortified that I would never want to see any of those people again (and the reference to the friend's wife being snooty sounds like she is similar in this respect).

Also, I can see that husbands and wives don't keep secrets - - and maybe DH and I are seeming a little old-fashioned here - - but I can freaking guarantee you he would never repeat in any detail that kind of conversation to me. He might tell me that x friend was saying private, sexual things about his wife, but he would not give me the locker room version or any details. He would know I would not want to know and that I would be uncomfortable by what sounds like pretty vulgar and mean comments. And he would feel like he was also violating that poor woman's privacy by telling me details. Hell, I have never even heard DH say something uncomplimentary about a woman's looks, even when directly questioned about whether he thinks x or y is attractive.

This has been a very helpful post. I am finding myself more appreciative of my dh!

[specialp]

I personally wouldn't be happy if DH did that, but perhaps the couple in the OP have a different kind of relationship. I don't even really discuss my sex life with my girlfriends other than things that apply mostly to me (like how soon after having a kid to get things going again, did my sex drive increase or decrease during pregnancy, etc). I would never share specific details about DH and/or our 'activities' unless I cleared it with him first.

:yeahthat: To each his own if its OK with both people in the relationship and marriage. DH wouldn't do this nor would I, but that is us.

[hellokitty]

Yes, it would bother me. I asked my DH after reading this thread if he has ever told anyone any details of our sex life and he said, "no." The closest thing he has ever said was when a co-worker (male) of his was complaining that he never gets any sex from his wife, esp when she is pregnant. My DH made some comment that when I'm pregnant he has to fight me off, lol. And another co-worker heard (male) and agreed that his wife was the same when she was pregnant (like me). So, then of course the guy who made the original comment probably felt weird, esp since several other co-workers (female, and these are all healthcare professionals), all kind of nodded saying that it's not unusual for pregnant women to be more interested in sex and I'm assuming they were kind of making the statement that they probably had similar experiences when they were pregnant. However, that was all very vague and generalized, if he got into TMI details, I would have been pissed!

[gatorsmom]

If my DH was giving out wayyy too many private details, I'd be embarrassed! I don't think I'd want to face someone he'd shared intimate details about me to. And if he was saying this stuff to get a laugh, I"d be hurt and feel betrayed, ykwim? I show him a side of me I don't show in public (no pun intended). If I knew that things we did in the bedroom were going to end up blabbed to all his friends, I be hesitant to do, well, some stuff. And I 'd definitely let him know that.

[vludmilla]

Maybe I am misreading the OP, but my impression was that this guy was talking about his wife in a pretty graphic way and not a complimentary one. Comments that were jokes at her expense, possibly imitations of her, and that were very, very personal. And that it was not with one or two best friends but a small group that he was entertaining with his stories.

I am a private person. My DH knows this. He would not do this type of thing because 1) he would view it as disrespectful and as compromising our intimacy; and 2) because he knows I would be devastated and so mortified that I would never want to see any of those people again (and the reference to the friend's wife being snooty sounds like she is similar in this respect).

Also, I can see that husbands and wives don't keep secrets - - and maybe DH and I are seeming a little old-fashioned here - - but I can freaking guarantee you he would never repeat in any detail that kind of conversation to me. He might tell me that x friend was saying private, sexual things about his wife, but he would not give me the locker room version or any details. He would know I would not want to know and that I would be uncomfortable by what sounds like pretty vulgar and mean comments. And he would feel like he was also violating that poor woman's privacy by telling me details. Hell, I have never even heard DH say something uncomplimentary about a woman's looks, even when directly questioned about whether he thinks x or y is attractive.

This has been a very helpful post. I am finding myself more appreciative of my dh!

I agree with this. I got the sense that the husband was telling jokes to be funny and not in a venting/sharing sort of way which would be a different thing.

I am also really appreciating my own DH because I just couldn't possibly imagine him doing such a thing. The kind of behavior I am imagining this husband engaged in is so very classless.