Family forever, for always, no matter what.

[infomama]

We have these words (Family forever, for always, no matter what) at the top of an archway as you walk into our kitchen (thanks Esty) and I heard a story on NPR this morning that reinforces our credo.

Clarice Mornat died last week, she was 104. She cared for her siblings (who passed at the ages of 96 and 102) at home as she made a promise that as long as she was able to care for them, she would so they would not have to go into a nursing home.
What a wonderful testament to her devotion to her family. I made the same promise to my mom..I hope I never have to face the day when she can not care for herself anymore but if that day arrives, I will remember my promise and keep it.

Here is the story if you are interested. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105560988

[kayte]

What a lovely story.

[newg]

that's a great moto to have in your house

[trentsmom]

The Washington Post had an article about her and her home health aide about a month ago. I thought she was a remarkable woman to be able to care for her siblings for that long. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/01/AR2009050101793.html

[Ceepa]

That is touching.

[infomama]

The Washington Post had an article about her and her home health aide about a month ago. I thought she was a remarkable woman to be able to care for her siblings for that long. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/01/AR2009050101793.html
Thank you for posting this link.

[Laurel]

Touching story.

However, after seeing what happened with my grandmother at the end, DH and I decided not to promise not to put each other in a nursing home. If my grandfather had been willing to break that promise he had made to my grandmother, things would have been better for everyone, including my dear grandmother who went months without the proper care for severe dementia as my mother and her siblings fought my grandfather to put her somewhere that she would be given what she needed. My grandfather still feels terrible guilt over breaking his promise- one that was impossible for him to keep.

[pinkmomagain]

I think it is a wonderful thing and I greatly admire someone who is willing and able to do this.

But I also feel that the ability to take care of an aged/ailing loved one at home (ability = financially, emotionally, time-wise, space-wise, etc) does not reflect the amount of love/devotion you feel towards someone. I absolutely would not want my children to feel as if they had to take me into their homes and care for me when the time comes or that I would equate that with a level of love/devotion I expect of them. I would want them to either find a wonderful home health care provider to take care of me at home or find a good facility for me and would want them to do their best to make sure I was getting excellent care. I of course would want them to visit me very often. I wouldn't want them to feel guilty or think that I thought they didn't love me enough for not taking me into their homes to care for me.