Would you let your child have a playdate with a kid who has a sick sibling?

[TonFirst]

Last week, my 4.5-year old son was knocked out with a nasty virus (fever ranging from 105-107, CT scans, lots of bloodwork, good times for everyone). He's since recovered, but on Tuesday, his baby sister (15 months) woke up with a fever and now we're dealing with the virus, part deux. When my son was sick, he was content to stay in bed all day, sleeping and watching movies on the iPod Touch. Baby girl, however, is demanding pretty much constant attention.

Thus, my son is bored to tears. We were really lax about letting him have unlimited screen time last week, but we've cracked down to a usual 45 (or so) minutes this week. I would love to set up some playdates for him, but obviously, having them at our house is out of the question. So, I'm about to take the (very tacky, IMO) step of emailing some friends and asking if they'd be up for having my son over for a playdate. Yes, I'm essentially inviting myself (in this case, my son) over to someone's house. TACKY. But I'm desperate.

My question is, even if you could get past the fact that some tacky mom was inviting her son over to your house, would you *want* to host a child who had a sick sibling at home? Or am I piling a playdate faux pas atop an even bigger faux pas? TIA!

[nov04]

I wouldn't want do it, but I think its a comfort-level issue for each parent. I know tons off-board who wouldn't even blink at such a request. I have found though that my friends do appreciate knowing, so maybe a heads-up?

[schums]

:yeahthat:

If you send the e-mail, I put it out there plainly. Something like "Good news! DS is now healthy!! Bad News! DD now has the same crud and DS is bored silly! Anybody interested in a play date away from here so DS doesn't climb the walls". That way, they know what's going on, no beating around the bush, and they can take it or leave it.

[aa2mama]

Honestly? Probably not, especially knowing just how sick it made your DS. I might consider doing an outdoor playdate at a park or something but nothing indoors.

[mommylamb]

Under most circumstances, I'd be fine with having him come over. After all, my kid goes to daycare, so I expect that he's in contact with other kids who get sick themselves and have sick siblings. The only thing that givese me pause is just how sick it sounds like your son was. That's no little cold. In that case, I'd probably take a rain check (sorry). But I agree with PP, that there's nothing wrong with sending an email out but explaining the situation. Just let the moms know that you won't be offended if they say no.

[kusumat]

Last week, my 4.5-year old son was knocked out with a nasty virus (fever ranging from 105-107, CT scans, lots of bloodwork, good times for everyone). He's since recovered, but on Tuesday, his baby sister (15 months) woke up with a fever and now we're dealing with the virus, part deux. When my son was sick, he was content to stay in bed all day, sleeping and watching movies on the iPod Touch. Baby girl, however, is demanding pretty much constant attention.

Thus, my son is bored to tears. We were really lax about letting him have unlimited screen time last week, but we've cracked down to a usual 45 (or so) minutes this week. I would love to set up some playdates for him, but obviously, having them at our house is out of the question. So, I'm about to take the (very tacky, IMO) step of emailing some friends and asking if they'd be up for having my son over for a playdate. Yes, I'm essentially inviting myself (in this case, my son) over to someone's house. TACKY. But I'm desperate.

My question is, even if you could get past the fact that some tacky mom was inviting her son over to your house, would you *want* to host a child who had a sick sibling at home? Or am I piling a playdate faux pas atop an even bigger faux pas? TIA!

Had it been 7 days since symptoms started or 2 days after all symptom are gone whichever is longer? If yes, he is probably no longer contagious.

[infomama]

I think it's just fine to send the email but I wouldn't count on getting any takers.

[traciann]

Would you take someone up on a similar offer? I wouldn't. I would just tough it out.

[Corie]

I'm sorry but I would have to tell you no. Normally, I wouldn't care.
I figure with all the things going around my daughter's elementary school
that my kids are bound to get something. But, your son sounds like
he had it really bad. I'm not willing to risk getting that one!

[ha98ed14]

I would not want to host this child. If you with held the info about his having been sick or his baby sister being currently sick, I would be really, really P.O.'d Think of how you inconvenience the other family if their child becomes sick? Yeah, I would be really angry. If you want to keep the friend, I wouldn't do this unless you are upfront and tell them that DS WAS sick and DD IS sick and they say yes. But really, I would be pissed if someone even asked me this because it puts me in the very awkward situation of saying, "No, I do not want you child to come to my house." No one wants to reject another person's child to that child's parent. Unless they are family, i.e. your sister's kids, I would not even ask.

[egoldber]

FWIW, I would host your kid. :)

[bubbaray]

I wouldn't and my girls go to daycare. I agree with the PP that that was no normal illness if he had to have a CT scan....

[TonFirst]

Wow - let me give some additional information. The results of the bloodwork (white count, sedimentation, etc.) were all normal. He tested negative for two quick-strep tests, a strep culture, a quick mono test (these are unreliable, fwiw, but his result was negative), and a flu test. The CT was to make sure that a sinus infection that he had earlier in the month had cleared up and to rule it out as the cause of the fever. Our pediatrician ultimately decided that the cause of the fever (which was definitely extremely worrisome) was viral and unrelated to the earlier sinus infection (for which we did a third round of antibiotics to nail the lid on that infection's coffin). Final label? Fever of Unknown Origin.

On Monday, I took my son to the pediatrician for a follow-up, and he received the all-clear He hasn't had a fever since Saturday. During that same trip to the peds, we had my daughter's 15-month well visit. She received her MMR and her PCV vaccines (we're following a regular schedule). She woke up with a temperature of 101 on Tuesday morning. It's spiked as high as 105 (yesterday) but is manageable with Motrin/Tylenol. The ped insists that the fever isn't from the vaccines but I'm always skeptical about that claim (kind of like how they say that teething doesn't cause a low-grade fever- whatevs, doc). I decided about 30 minutes ago to take her in to walk-ins this afternoon since she has some congestion (my son didn't, even with the sinus infection) and she is prone to ear infections. She's been spending a lot of time exploring the back of her mouth with her fingers, and since she has all her molars, I'm a little suspect that she might be having some ear and throat pain.

That said - *I* would host my son if the roles were reversed. I think that as long as he washes his hands when he goes to someone's house, and washes them when he gets back to my house, I'm okay with that. If my daughter did catch the virus (my husband and I are good, so far), it was probably because she is always grabbing her brother's water cups, because we went above and beyond to keep them apart when he was sick.

...and now, back to my regularly scheduled cavalier parenting of my two little biohazards. ;)

[Globetrotter]

I would host him, as long as I didn't have a newborn or immune-compromised family member. My kids are 6 and 9, so we've seen a lot of illnesses. Honestly, as long as HIS symptoms are over and done with, and he is beyond the contagious stage (that is critical), why not? Isn't he back to school? (I don't recall his age, but if his symptoms are gone and he is active, trust me.. he would be back to school)

If we didn't host kids whose siblings were sick, we would be awfully lonely during the winter :) There is always someone sick in any given family!

[lizajane]

i do that sort of thing for friends all the time.

[kijip]

I'd host your child without a second thought in these circumstances. If you lived in Seattle, I would say come on over. Your son got it first. He is recovered. I would be more reluctant to host a child whose sibling was currently sick with such a virus. I would be thinking the so far unaffected child could get it any day and be contagious. Still in most situations, I would likely still do it unless I had a newborn in the house (or when my mom was living with us it would have been a no-go due to her immune system).

[Wife_and_mommy]

I'd host your child without a second thought in these circumstances. If you lived in Seattle, I would say come on over. Your son got it first. He is recovered. I would be more reluctant to host a child whose sibling was currently sick with such a virus. I would be thinking the so far unaffected child could get it any day and be contagious.

:yeahthat: I'd have him wash hands at first contact with my kiddos and enjoy the playtime.

[mom_hanna]

I would host your son without a second thought. I say, ask your friends. The worst that can happen is they say no. The best is they say yes and your son has a fabulous time!

[JustMe]

I think I would do it, but am not absolutely sure...in any case, IMHO the best thing for you to do would be send out an e-mail stating that ds is better, dd is sick, and that you understand that someone might not be comfortable with having ds over since dd is sick, but thought it wouldnt hurt to ask...something like that.

[KrisM]

I'd host him, too. If I had an infant, I wouldn't. Or, if my kid were just getting over something, I wouldn't. But, otherwise, I'd have him over.

[firsttimemama]

I like to avoid the big germs
If it was a cold I'd say no biggie
But a big bad virus with a high fever? I wouldn't want to be around