DCP Smoking... not a big deal??

[ahrimie]

As I was dropping off DD at her preschool/daycare, I saw someone smoking on the side of the building. You could tell that person didn't really want to be seen though; they looked over at me and then turned their head and pretended to go through the back. When she looked at me, I recognized her as the 2 yr old's teacher (who is normally very nice to my Isabella even though she isn't in her class; always says hi to us and plays with Isabella when the classes combine during gym or snacks too) but she turned away. As I'm getting DD out of her carseat, she just walks by very briskly and walks right in. It just seemed like she didn't want to have any contact but was stuck because there's only one entrance.

Is this a big deal or not? I definitely wouldn't like it if DD's teacher smoked right before she got to her job and it makes me wonder if she takes smoke breaks then throughout the day. Of course now I realize I don't even know if DD's teacher smokes! Am I allowed to be concerned or even allowed to say something?

I didn't say anything or ask anyone because I didn't know if that's their right as a teacher.. so, please tell me WWYD?

[happymom]

That would definitely bother me. I'm sure there's no law against them smoking, but I don't see why you can't ask if your child's teacher smokes. Then it would be your choice to either continue sending her there or pull her out.

[ahrimie]

How do you think I could tactfully ask?? I have to admit, I think I've asked some really weird things.. during our tour, I asked if she was a Christian (since it's a Christian-based preschool). But I told her she didn't have to answer if that was inappropriate of me to ask... I do think we have a good relationship though. But I always feel like I'm some crazy, control freak, new mom.

[swrc00]

If I were in this situation I would casually ask the owner or someone in the office what their policy is on smoking. I would use the information they give you to lead into a conversation about how you would feel uncomfortable if your child's teacher is a smoker. I would be horrified if my DS's teacher was a smoker. He is still in the infant room and knowing that she could be taking smoking breaks and then holding DS grosses me out. Yuck!!!! Yes, I know there isn't anything illegal about the situation but it is your DD and her health that you are concerned about. You are not being crazy or overbearing, you are being a mother and looking out for your child's wellbeing.

[AnnieW625]

I think the best way to deal would be ask the school owner what the policy on smoking is. My SAHM smoked from before I was born until I was 14. I turned out okay and I am sure being the clean person my mom is she washed her hands when she was done. Things are soo different now as far as smoking goes as it seems to be taboo and having never smoked I don't know how hard it is to quit or the real reason people do smoke. I wouldn't want the teacher to lose her job just becuase she is smoker but if the school has a policy then she knows then it's her responsibility to control her cravings and not smoke at school.

Hope that makes sense.

[Kymberley]

Why would you say anything? It's really none of your business. The only reason it bothers you is because you saw her. If you never saw her, you'd never know the difference. She's not a criminal just because she smokes. It's not illegal *yet*.

[jellibeans]

I am sure that they are allowed to smoke, probably a certain number of feet away from the building. Maybe she was embarrassed that you saw her and didn't want your dc to see her smoking. I don't like smoking AT ALL but it wouldn't be enough for me to move schools, especially if you haven't ever smelled it on the teacher or in the classroom. Also, daycare teachers get breaks throughout the day when another teacher will come into the room to replace them. I worked at a daycare center in college and each teacher got a 15 minute break for every 5 hours of working or something like that.

[sste]

Good daycare providers are hard to find . . . I wouldn't rock the boat. Our first babysitter was a smoker . . .NOT in front of DS or near him but I could smell it on her clothes. However, she was awesome, one of our best babysitters. It did change my trust level in that I would not have left DS with her for an extremely long day or used her for overnight care or anything. But, I was very confident she would not smoke in front of DS in her normal 8 hour shift.

[wellyes]

If I could tell my DCP was a smoker by smelling it on her hands / clothes, that would really bother me. If my DCP were a closet smoker who did it in private and kept clean enough to keep the scent away from the kids, that would not be a problem.

The exception would be if the DCP handled babies, there is no way to keep the stink off your clothes enough to be safe to hold an infant very close to your body every day.

[nov04]

It would concern me if it was done during working hours.

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2009/01/06/smoking-third.html

[Snow mom]

Why would you say anything? It's really none of your business. The only reason it bothers you is because you saw her. If you never saw her, you'd never know the difference. She's not a criminal just because she smokes. It's not illegal *yet*.

I think the reason the OP was upset was because this teacher spends time with small children and there are known health effects of what is called "third hand smoke" (that's the chemicals on clothing, furniture, etc.) I completely disagree about the assessment that it is none of her business. I would be upset if my DDs daughter smoked at the school. She spends a fair amount of time at daycare and we don't want her spending that kind of time with someone who smells like smoke.



I am sure that they are allowed to smoke, probably a certain number of feet away from the building. Maybe she was embarrassed that you saw her and didn't want your dc to see her smoking. I don't like smoking AT ALL but it wouldn't be enough for me to move schools, especially if you haven't ever smelled it on the teacher or in the classroom. Also, daycare teachers get breaks throughout the day when another teacher will come into the room to replace them. I worked at a daycare center in college and each teacher got a 15 minute break for every 5 hours of working or something like that.

I agree that I'm not sure if a daycare can require their employees to be non-smokers (legally.) They probably can ask that the teachers not smoke on the property. The interaction with the teacher seems strange. I would ask the director about the smoking policy without naming any names. You have the right to know whether the daycare has a policy on this and make up your mind based on that. Overall though if you've never smelled smoke on a teacher (and now I'm sure you'll be more aware of it) I wouldn't worry that much about it. Honestly I'm not 100% sure that none of the teachers at DDs school smoke, but I know I've never seen anyone smoking, never smelled smoke on anyone, and DD never smells like smoke when I pick her up (this would be something I would never tolerate and I'm def. sensitive to the smells she picks up from people holding her.)

[Snow mom]

But I always feel like I'm some crazy, control freak, new mom.

Just wanted to add that I think we all feel that way sometimes. It's your right to know what is going on with your DC while they are at daycare. I'm still constantly asking questions about how things work.

[amldaley]

It would concern me if it was done during working hours.

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2009/01/06/smoking-third.html

Thank you for posting this!!!!!

[amldaley]

Just wanted to add that I think we all feel that way sometimes. It's your right to know what is going on with your DC while they are at daycare. I'm still constantly asking questions about how things work.

I don't undestand how parents can leave their children with someone else 8 to 10 hours per day and NOT ask all kinds of questions!!!!!!

I am always shocked at the parents at DD's daycare that never seem to talk to the providers. These people are helping us raise our kids. They are "mom away from mom" to our LO's...ask whatever you need to. They can always refuse to answer.

I can tell you where my dd's providers SIL lives, that one hates peas, the other retired from a career in banking, etc etc etc. And none smoke.

[DrSally]

I was just going to post about "third hand smoke" but I see it's already been brought up.

[lizajane]

Why would you say anything? It's really none of your business. The only reason it bothers you is because you saw her. If you never saw her, you'd never know the difference. She's not a criminal just because she smokes. It's not illegal *yet*.

because the secondhand smoke trapped in her hair and clothing could pose a health hazard to her child.

my BIL smokes and it is like a cloud of smoke is following him when he enters the room after going OUTSIDE to smoke. the smell is so overwhelming, i want to leave the room. again, he smoked OUTSIDE. this is the residual effect. it really bothers me that he smokes outside when my children are in the same location- even if they are inside- because of the stench.

[wellyes]

A lot of the data about "3rd hand smoke" has to do with residue in furniture or on clothing. Smokers who smoke *outside* and wash their hands afterwards (and some even wear a "smoking jacket" aka a hoodie just for when they light up) do not pose anywhere near the same health risk as visiting Granny who's been smoking 2 packs a day in her house every day for the last 30 years.

It bothers me that the third-hand smoke articles became (another) excuse to treat smokers like pariahs.

If you can smell it on your child's teacher, she is not taking enough safeguards. If you cannot, then I wouldn't judge her for smoking any more than I'd just her if I saw her during after-school hours drunk, in a bar, singing bad karaoke. In other words, I might shake my head or giggle about it but not give another thought to it.

[DrSally]

The supervisor in our development came over to fix a handle on DD's closet door. He reeked of smoke and I could smell it in DD's room for a whole day after he left (and he was only in her room for 10-15 min!

[amldaley]

A lot of the data about "3rd hand smoke" has to do with residue in furniture or on clothing. Smokers who smoke *outside* and wash their hands afterwards (and some even wear a "smoking jacket" aka a hoodie just for when they light up) do not pose anywhere near the same health risk as visiting Granny who's been smoking 2 packs a day in her house every day for the last 30 years.

It bothers me that the third-hand smoke articles became (another) excuse to treat smokers like pariahs.

If you can smell it on your child's teacher, she is not taking enough safeguards. If you cannot, then I wouldn't judge her for smoking any more than I'd just her if I saw her during after-school hours drunk, in a bar, singing bad karaoke. In other words, I might shake my head or giggle about it but not give another thought to it.

1) You can't always "smell" toxins leaching from someone's skin or clothing.

2) It isn't about treating someone like a pariah, it is about doing whatever one feels they must to protect their child. Day care is about the kids. Yes, people have their rights. But when their right to smoke infringes on my child's right to be a in a safe and healthy environment, as far as day care goes, I think the kid wins. If I am at someone's house, or even a restaurant with a smoking section, the other persons rights prevail, because then I have a choice to remove myself and my child from that location.

I don't think the OP would do anything to treat the provider like a pariah...I think she was trying to be extremely sensitive to the situation.

[Ceepa]

1) You can't always "smell" toxins leaching from someone's skin or clothing.

2) It isn't about treating someone like a pariah, it is about doing whatever one feels they must to protect their child. Day care is about the kids. Yes, people have their rights. But when their right to smoke infringes on my child's right to be a in a safe and healthy environment, as far as day care goes, I think the kid wins. If I am at someone's house, or even a restaurant with a smoking section, the other persons rights prevail, because then I have a choice to remove myself and my child from that location.

I don't think the OP would do anything to treat the provider like a pariah...I think she was trying to be extremely sensitive to the situation.

If the DCP is smoking on the premises which are designated non-smoking and/or the DCP is smoking during working hours, then sure the parents have grounds to complain. But unless the child has a reaction that can be traced directly and conclusively back to the DCP's "third-hand smoke" then I don't see what grounds the parents have to complain. OP could always ask for a clarification about the smoking policy in hopes that management recognizes a parent's concern and then chooses to firm up their policies about when and where staff can smoke.

[DrSally]

I agree that just b/c you can't smell it, doesn't mean the toxins aren't on their clothes for a baby to breathe in. I also agree that unless there's a specific policy, it would have to be something the parent asks about when choosing a DCP. I would specifically ask if anyone in the household (if it's in home daycare) or employee at the center smokes. Then I could make my own personal decision from there as to whether I wanted to send my child to that particular place.

[wellyes]

I agree that just b/c you can't smell it, doesn't mean the toxins aren't on their clothes for a baby to breathe in.

In this case, though, the teacher works with 2-year olds.... while they obviously do have physical contact with the kids, it's not like the teacher hugs tiny infants to her all day long.

I don't know exactly why this issue makes me so defensive. I don't smoke. I just suspect that there are plenty of people who get very concerned about the potential for residual toxins on a DCP's cloths that are faint enough you can't smell them -- but don't give a second thought to feeding their kids McDonald's regularly, or letting the kids watch as the parents ate badly each day, or driving aggressively on the highway, or even just taking a lot of unnecessary car trips to get their Target shopping fix . And would be PISSED if you suggested they were endangering their child by doing so. (Just for the record, I'm not saying that they are, and I do understand that we all do whatever we feel is appropriate to keep our kids safe and everyone needs to find the right balance.)

I dunno, honestly, if I knew my DCP smoked it would certainly be an issue. But I'm just trying to find some kind of perspective about the dangers of third-hand smoke vs other everyday dangers.