Would you be mad if someone painted DS' toenails?

[mariza]

I. am. livid. but I don't think it's really about the nail painting. DH's 13 yo niece is visiting with us and last week she asked if she could paint DD's nails and I said no. She must have said something to DH because he asked me why I didn't allow it. We had a short discussion about the fact that at 4 yo I didn't feel the need to start exposing DD to make up and that I can't seem to maintain my own manicures, I don't need to start maintaining a four year old. I said if it was a special occassion or reward for really good behavior I would be open to it. He told me that what I said made sense and seemed to agree with me.
So today I'm at work and 4 yo DD calls to tell me that her cousin painted 2yo DS' nails!
Why would they think it would be ok to paint DS' and not DD's? To laugh at him, DH tells me to relax, it looks funny. I cannot relax, I'm at work typing this instead of doing my work because I am so mad I have to vent somewhere. I had to hang up on him I was so mad I could not even speak. Why ask my opinion on something and agree with that opinion if you are just going to disregard my feelings on the subject? And then why have DD call me to tell me? Now I have to go home and explain to her why her brother got to have his nails painted and she can't. Fun.
Vent over, thanks for letting me get it out!

[JBaxter]

LOL I used to paint my boys toenails when they were that age. They loved it. No biggy here

[WatchingThemGrow]

I've had to tell two 13 yo girls no painting in the last two weeks. They haven't asked again, thankfully. I'd growl if they did DS'.

[Fairy]

Oh dear. Well, I really think your reasoning for not wanting to have DD's nails done is very sound. Makes alot of sense. Why introduce it this young if she's not even half aware of it. It was what the neice wanted not your DD. Even so, I like your reasoning.

The CONCEPT of DS's nails is ok with me. If he wanted them, I might say no based on your DD argument, but not cuz he was a boy. I think ti's pretty normal for boys to like girl things at that age, and even if it were not normal "boy" behavior, I totally wouldn't care. So, the concept of DS with painted nails cuz he's a boy? No biggie here.

But that you said no for DD and your neice went and did DS anyway? WRONG. That's WRONG. Whether she did it of her own volition or your DH ok'd it, it's wrong. Not only did it circumvent your wishes in concept, but it gave DS something DD didn't get to have. I'd be livid, too.

[mariza]

Fairy, you hit the nail on the head. It was strictly because of the same reasons that I said no to DD. I drew the distinction between DS and DD in my post because I think on some level they rationalized that it was ok on DS because it was "funny". DS loves pink, dresses in princess costumes at daycare and loves his sisters sparkly sunglasses, hats and other "girly" accessories. We don't mind that stuff at all. If I allowed DD to paint her nails I would not make a big deal over DS wanting the same. I joke to DH that some day he will make us a lot of money in his Las Vegas Revue show (a la Rue Paul ;) )

I'm just really mad about it because if I said DD could not, I would expect them to understand it was not ok for DS. And as sit here steweing over it, I'm realizing that part of my anger is that I am jealous of DH for being able to be home with them all day while I have to work. Granted he was laid off and that part sucks, I know he would prefer to be working but I still wish I could be there myself to have fun (and tell them No!)

[kijip]

If I told them no to dd, then yeah I'd be pissed if they violated my wishes for my other children.

No nail polish here but then mama does not use it (LOL) and with 2 boys, we are unlikely to see it in the house anytime soon.

[Corie]

But that you said no for DD and your neice went and did DS anyway? WRONG. That's WRONG. Whether she did it of her own volition or your DH ok'd it, it's wrong. Not only did it circumvent your wishes in concept, but it gave DS something DD didn't get to have. I'd be livid, too.


This is exactly why I would be ticked off too!!

[MamaMolly]

That. Little. Snot.

No means no. I'd be fuuuuuuuuuuming. :angry-smiley-005:

I think your niece owes you a huge apology. What she did was sneaky, circumventing the rule by painting DS's nails instead of DD's. And getting DD to tell you is proof of that, because they knew you wouldn't go off on *her*.

My DH is a dolt sometimes and might miss out on the message this would send DD unless I pointed it out to him. But seriously, this stinks all the way around.

[BabyMine]

There would be 2 things that I would be upset over.

- They did it after I had said no and then thought it was funny. Even if it was the other child.

- That I had to play villan and my husband gets the accolades for letting them have fun. I mostly discipline in my family and some times it sucks.

[frgsnlzrds]

But that you said no for DD and your neice went and did DS anyway? WRONG. That's WRONG. Whether she did it of her own volition or your DH ok'd it, it's wrong. Not only did it circumvent your wishes in concept, but it gave DS something DD didn't get to have. I'd be livid, too.

:yeahthat:

[mariza]

So, they didn't actually come out and say "I'm sorry" but my house was scrubbed clean top to bottom and much of the laundry done. This is DH's typical MO as he cannot verbalize apologies and now it seems it runs in the family. My niece just gave me a hug and said "I love you" but again no apology. DS' nails have been cleaned, but I can still see pink around the cuticles a little. After about 2 days of it blowing over, my niece did come to me and ask "can I just ask why you don't let the kids paint their nails". I explained again (which tells me DH really didn't explain it to her in the first place) and she said that she understood. So, it seems that I have finally sunk through, and my house is clean to boot :)
Thanks for allowing me to vent!

[fortato]

I don't see any big deal in painting DS' toenails- Jack's are blue at the moment- but I do see why you were upset. You specifically said NO to DD, why would be ok to paint DS??

[Fairy]

Glad, Mariza. And you got a clean house. Yay!

[MartiesMom2B]

I'd only be mad that she did it after you specifically said no. Painting toenails boys or girls is not a big deal in my book.