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View Full Version : Anything your husband refuses to do with you



ChunkyNicksChunkyMom
07-05-2009, 05:35 PM
that you love to do?

I love buffet-style all you can eat restaurants and DH flat out refuses to go.

tmarie
07-05-2009, 05:56 PM
go to chick flicks (did when we were dating, lol)
go clothes shopping with me

tmarie
dd#1 '05
dd#2 '08

shawnandangel
07-05-2009, 06:05 PM
Go to the mall unless it is absolutely necessary (He's in a wedding ect)

wencit
07-05-2009, 06:09 PM
Watch reality TV shows (I'm a junkie, he despises them)

misshollygolightly
07-05-2009, 06:19 PM
-drink tea or coffee (I just always assumed the man I would fall in love with would love coffee as much as I do. To be fair, he has tried it once or twice, and he is usually happy to sit with me while I enjoy one in a coffeeshop on occasion, but he's not a fan!)

-eat sushi (once a year or so, he'll suck it up and take me to a sushi place where he can order tempura or something else non-sushi)

-dance (DH hates to dance. I still haven't quite forgiven him for bombing our "first dance" at our wedding!)

TwinFoxes
07-05-2009, 06:24 PM
Get a pedicure with me. I have friends whose DHs will. Of course it's moot since we had the girls. I always thought it sounded fun. He wouldn't even consider it. He also refuses to go to bed and breakfasts with me. We went once, and it was his nightmare of what it would be like...talking to strangers at breakfast, having them invite us to walk around town (Santa Fe) with them, too precious decor. Oh well, he tried it once.

MontrealMum
07-05-2009, 06:49 PM
Dance. It used to be a huge part of my life, and would be a huge turn-on to me, but he still refuses.

JBaxter
07-05-2009, 06:55 PM
that you love to do?

I love buffet-style all you can eat restaurants and DH flat out refuses to go.

:icon_twisted: :icon_twisted:
Susan... I took it the wrong way when I read it first. I was thinking WOW how can I post THAT :innocent:

DH wont go to the gym with me

nov04
07-05-2009, 07:09 PM
me too! (blush)

pastrygirl
07-05-2009, 07:15 PM
Dance. It used to be a huge part of my life, and would be a huge turn-on to me, but he still refuses.:yeahthat:

StantonHyde
07-05-2009, 08:17 PM
Backpacking. He whines. "My feet hurt, its hot, when are we going to get there". I go by myself with a group once a year. He stays home to watch the kids. He will do long hikes and car camp (no heavy pack, sunshower & beer at the end of the day)

He is a very good sport about going to see concerts I like that he doesn't--because he likes live music. (I like bluegrass, he likes PJ Harvey)

Organize anything to do with the kids. He is great at playing with them at home but if I ask him to get them out of the house he just stares at me. I was warned about this--he told me he had "slug like tendencies". He will do pretty much whatever I plan and goes along with it all but he could not plan an activity if his life depended on it.

Neatfreak
07-05-2009, 08:38 PM
Take a holiday home, which is why I am still in Thailand right now instead of catching up with my friends and family in Canada. He says that he's "already been there". Of course, but that's not really the point ...

kerridean
07-05-2009, 08:39 PM
Dance, makes me sad.

lizajane
07-05-2009, 08:45 PM
help me with anything sewing related. cleaning up the room, hanging out with me while i work, cutting out patterns.. he will not be a part of it AT ALL. i help him with work stuff when i can... bums me out.

veronica
07-05-2009, 08:53 PM
Shop at the mall.

He says he is morally against it.......just like how I am morally agains watching ESPN in the mornings :wink2:

kijip
07-05-2009, 08:55 PM
Not really. There are things that he does that I don't and vice versa (ie he plays musical instruments, I sit on non-profit boards) but the only thing that springs to mind as a possible joint activity is that I won't see most of the movies (sci fi genre) he is interested in, so he watches them with friends.

Thankfully we both love to dance and go for walks etc.

smiles33
07-05-2009, 09:07 PM
He refuses to go on roller coasters and refuses to see my relatives more than once/year. The roller coaster thing isn't an issue, as we rarely get to amusement parks now and I figure I'll eventually take DD. The relatives issue sometimes is problematic but I just go alone now to the other random events with my parents' extended family. He'll willingly hang out w/my parents, but he can't stand my dad's sisters (they're gossipy, rude, and manipulative). I don't blame him, but I know my mom gets bad-mouthed by them and she feels guilty when we don't spend time with them so I go alone just to humor her.

SnuggleBuggles
07-05-2009, 09:12 PM
There's nothing he won't do. He might do it a bit grudgingly or unenthusiastically but he'll still do it if I really want to.

Beth

jent
07-05-2009, 09:29 PM
-drink tea or coffee (I just always assumed the man I would fall in love with would love coffee as much as I do. To be fair, he has tried it once or twice, and he is usually happy to sit with me while I enjoy one in a coffeeshop on occasion, but he's not a fan!)

-eat sushi (once a year or so, he'll suck it up and take me to a sushi place where he can order tempura or something else non-sushi)

-dance (DH hates to dance. I still haven't quite forgiven him for bombing our "first dance" at our wedding!)

Those are _exactly_ our three.

I actually switched to tea from coffee b/c I thought it was too annoying to make coffee for just one person (prior to living with DH, I always had coffee-drinking roommates).

The dance thing... the painful thing about this one is that we actually did used to dance together. Somehow I roped DH into taking a swing class with me while we lived in DC and he LOVED it. To the point where when we went away for the weekend, he wanted to make sure we drove home in time to make our Sunday night swing class. Then we moved and the teachers weren't as fun/charismatic and he got bored with it. He kept trying to encourage me to go on my own but I hate that, since there are always not enough male/lead partners and going alone is just adding one more imbalance to the mix. So now every time I hear swing music I get really nostalgic.

Sushi... DH actually feels guilty about this and is always encouraging me to do something like pick up sushi at Whole Foods... I hate to tell him that supermarket sushi is just not the same.

Corie
07-05-2009, 09:39 PM
There really aren't many things that my DH refuses to do with me.
He is up for almost anything. (He took me roller-skating for my
birthday and then on a different date night, we went to see the Providence
Roller Derby.)

But, he does flat out refuse to eat at the Olive Garden.
I love their breadsticks and salad dressing. Love love love 'em.
I talked him into going to the OG last Monday night after swim lessons
since we had not been in years. And he promised me that we won't
be going back anytime soon.

Oh, and he doesn't dance. I love to dance. I'm not talking ballroom
dance. I love to just dance. Occasionally, I will get him to Texas 2-step
with me. But that is rare.

That's pretty much it.

mom2akm
07-05-2009, 10:07 PM
I want to take lessons on ballroom dance and my DH refuses to go with me. After reading PP's comments, it looks like he's pretty 'normal'.

Carrots
07-05-2009, 10:16 PM
Shop. He HATES the mall.

o_mom
07-05-2009, 10:24 PM
that you love to do?

I love buffet-style all you can eat restaurants and DH flat out refuses to go.

Nothing in particular comes to mind. We have pretty similar likes and dislikes. I suppose that he wouldn't go to knitting group with me, but he will go to the yarn shop with me if I ask and even pick up stuff if I am very specific and he can just hand the list to the ladies there.

Speaking of your DH, though, how is he doing? I think of you all often and hope that it is going well. (hope you don't mind me asking! :))

ChunkyNicksChunkyMom
07-05-2009, 10:51 PM
Nothing in particular comes to mind. We have pretty similar likes and dislikes. I suppose that he wouldn't go to knitting group with me, but he will go to the yarn shop with me if I ask and even pick up stuff if I am very specific and he can just hand the list to the ladies there.

Speaking of your DH, though, how is he doing? I think of you all often and hope that it is going well. (hope you don't mind me asking! :))


Of course I don't mind you asking, I am pleased that you did. We are 8 months past surgery and he has progressed better than anyone expected. We have been corresponding with his German surgeon and he is really astounded at Dennis' progress. He can walk, drive, do most normal things ( although he does not look 'normal' when he does them :) ) He still is somewhat lacking in fine motor skills but getting better. They told us recovery would be up to 3 years but if his progress stopped now we would both happily take it. One dr told him that something like 85% of those w his injury die immediately and 80% of those that did survive would be on ventilators for life. The biggest problem we are having right now is that as he is regaining feeling, that feeling is largely pain and we really do not want to go down the pain-killer road. Sometimes just a wrong touch from one of the kids will make him cry like a baby and that is confusing to them. In all, we are INCREDIBLY lucky.

jenny
07-05-2009, 10:53 PM
DH is actually very girly and will do whatever I want to do with the exception of hiking. He thinks it's boring to walk trails.

But there are lots of things that I refuse to do with DH so I don't mind. Like I don't really go watch movies in the theater with him b/c I don't like the movies he picks...but I'm also not much of a movie goer. I also don't go to sports events with him b/c I'm not a big fan of sports...although he did talk me into going to a ice hockey game once and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

g-mama
07-05-2009, 11:18 PM
I can't think of anything that I like to do that he wouldn't also do with me. We're very alike in our interests and he's not a big, burly manly-man type, so that helps. ;) He's more willing to go to chick flicks with me than I am to go to his sci-fi or superhero movies so he goes with his buddy to those.

He likes to shop, dance, watch reality TV...many of the things that I know other men don't like to do.

g-mama
07-05-2009, 11:19 PM
Susan, I am so glad to read an update about your husband. Every time I see your name, I think of the accident and wonder how life is for you and your family since then. I'm happy to hear things are going as well as they are and wish you luck in his continuing recovery.

inmypjs
07-05-2009, 11:35 PM
Like many others here, shop is my answer!

After about 30 seconds in any mall, department store, or retailer of any kind other than Home Depot, he exclaims "This place is sucking the life out of me!"

jent
07-06-2009, 12:58 AM
On a more serious note... church. This is theoretical at this point because I don't belong to any-- I was born & raised Roman Catholic but I fell away from that long before DH. DH and his family are completely atheistic. There are things that I miss about church and I've sort of vaguely considered finding one that fits me/us, but I know DH would NEVER go. And I can't see going on my own. The subtext here for me is that my mom suddenly became much more religious than my dad, and it was confusing to us kids, and looking back, it was a huge sign that they were growing apart in their relationship (they are divorced).

salsah
07-06-2009, 01:07 AM
i also thought you were asking about something else.

go to museums
browse bookstores

there are things that he will do even if he doesn't enjoy them, but he will complain the entire time.

i'm sure there are other things, i just can't think of them since i haven't done them in years.

urquie
07-06-2009, 01:55 AM
Susan, I am so glad to read an update about your husband. Every time I see your name, I think of the accident and wonder how life is for you and your family since then. I'm happy to hear things are going as well as they are and wish you luck in his continuing recovery.
:yeahthat: i've been hoping for an update on your husband for a long time. i'm so pleased for you and your family - what great news!!

AngelaS
07-06-2009, 06:27 AM
I'd been hoping for an update too Susan! I'm glad to hear he's doing so well! :)

My dh won't go garage saling. :( I LOVE the thrill of the hunt and the bargains that are out there but he doesn't share the love.

o_mom
07-06-2009, 06:54 AM
Of course I don't mind you asking, I am pleased that you did. We are 8 months past surgery and he has progressed better than anyone expected. We have been corresponding with his German surgeon and he is really astounded at Dennis' progress. He can walk, drive, do most normal things ( although he does not look 'normal' when he does them :) ) He still is somewhat lacking in fine motor skills but getting better. They told us recovery would be up to 3 years but if his progress stopped now we would both happily take it. One dr told him that something like 85% of those w his injury die immediately and 80% of those that did survive would be on ventilators for life. The biggest problem we are having right now is that as he is regaining feeling, that feeling is largely pain and we really do not want to go down the pain-killer road. Sometimes just a wrong touch from one of the kids will make him cry like a baby and that is confusing to them. In all, we are INCREDIBLY lucky.

I am so happy he is making progress. It is truly an amazing story! I hope that he continues to make progress and that the pain lessens.

wellyes
07-06-2009, 07:03 AM
Watch TV. I try, too. I'll queue up the Tivo so he just has to watch the awesomest ever 30 second routine on So You Think You Can Dance. Sometimes he'll politely indulge me.

Read. I have a big shelf of books that I think he'd like, fiction and non, but he only ends up reading 4-5 books per year. It's sad because I really do love to talk about books with him, he sees the world so differently and always surprises me with his insight when we do read the same book.


Like many others here, shop is my answer!

After about 30 seconds in any mall, department store, or retailer of any kind other than Home Depot, he exclaims "This place is sucking the life out of me!"

Heh. Mine claims to get ill from the florescent lights and "stale air".

3blackcats
07-06-2009, 07:29 AM
There's nothing he won't do. He might do it a bit grudgingly or unenthusiastically but he'll still do it if I really want to.


:yeahthat:

mamicka
07-06-2009, 08:15 AM
I am so happy he is making progress. It is truly an amazing story! I hope that he continues to make progress and that the pain lessens.

:yeahthat: I think of you guys often - please continue to keep us posted!

VClute
07-06-2009, 08:36 AM
First, I'm thrilled to read the update, too. You and your husband have always been, in my mind, the perfect couple. He's so funny and you are, too! (It may be like hearing a voice on the radio and imagining what the person looks like. This is how I've imagined you and your husband from reading your posts. :))

As for the things my husband doesn't do that I love, I'm endeavoring not to speak anything but kind words about him right now, so I can't play. :(

Naranjadia
07-06-2009, 08:39 AM
He will do pretty much whatever I plan and goes along with it all but he could not plan an activity if his life depended on it.

Sounds like my DH. Once in a blue moon he surprises me, but he cannot plan anything. I just asked him what he wanted to do for our 7th anniversary and he said, "I don't know. It's so hard to plan for that kind of thing." Wha?!?!?!

DH doesn't like to listen to Rod Stewart or watch anything in it with Rowan Atkinson.

MamaMolly
07-06-2009, 08:46 AM
:wavey: Another poster who has been thinking of/praying for Susan and her family. Such a nice post to read!

DH also won't go to garage sales with me. Nor will he go to junk stores, thrift shops or antiquing. This was a big part of my life before we met, but now I indulge when visiting my sister or go alone. DD and I often go 'junking' and my dad and step mom will be here today and I'm planning the antique/junk stores we'll poke around in. So I get my fix even if DH would rather not play along.

We don't prefer the same types of movies, so we tend to alternate. Or we did until we had DD. Now we are just grateful for an evening out to ourselves so nobody complains if the movie stinks. :)

happy2bamom
07-06-2009, 09:05 AM
Susan,
I"m so glad to hear that your husband is doing so well. Such a blessing to have him recovering so well. I"ll be praying that the pain is minimal and stays manageable.

wellyes
07-06-2009, 09:37 AM
DH doesn't like to listen to Rod Stewart or watch anything in it with Rowan Atkinson.

Does anyone? LOL.

TonFirst
07-06-2009, 10:32 AM
Susan, I am glad to read the update and I wish you all the best.

My husband refuses to go to see different movies. Like, he really wanted to see "There Will Be Blood." I was 38 weeks pregnant and totally did not want to see a violent, intense, testoster-filled movie. At the same time, I knew he was dying to see it and I wouldn't mind a dinner out with him, so I suggested that we go to dinner and then to the theater, and he could see TWBB while I went and saw something a little calmer (I am not one to chose fluff and thoroughly enjoyed TWBB when I saw it a few months ago, if "enjoy" is a word you can apply to that movie, but at that point in my pregnancy, I needed fluff), and he was totally appalled that I would suggest sitting in different theaters. "But we need to be together!"

Seriously. It is a movie theater. We are in our 30s. We are not going to be making out or even having a conversation during the film. So what is the big deal?? And you know what happened? I went to see the freaking movie and all these terrible things happened to that little boy and I was all, "I NEED TO GO." So offered to go to the bookstore next to the theater to wait until the movie finished, but he insisted on leaving with me, and no one got to see an entire movie that night. Had we just gone to two different movies simultaneously? We'd have both enjoyed ourselves at the movie and had a nice dinner, to boot. I've suggested simultaneous movies since then, but he is still adamant in his refusal.

doberbrat
07-06-2009, 11:41 AM
nothing he'll refuse to do. If I want to go shopping he's ready to go (even if he wasnt invited *LOL*)

we dont always love the same type of music, or movies or activities but he's always up for whatever so we can spend the time together. And while I dont love being dragged around to car shows or bike races, I go too and make the best of it. He admires the motors and who knows what and i can comment on what a pretty car it is or the color etc.

Tondi G
07-06-2009, 02:18 PM
my hubby doesn't refuse to go but he knows it's kinda expensive and since he doesn't eat sushi what's the point (he says). A teriyaki or tempura dinner is something like 20 bucks ... he'd rather go elsewhere and get a meal he really "likes" instead. So I have sushi with my mom and sister or my best friend!

Otherwise there isn't much my hubby wouldn't do with me if I asked him to.

specialp
07-06-2009, 02:54 PM
DH has never refused to do anything; he HATES musicals, but he will go with me to one on occassion.

StantonHyde
07-06-2009, 03:53 PM
You all must have ESP!! I was meaning to come here to PM Susan. When I saw your post about visiting your SIL, I thought "ooh, he is well enough to travel!". I am soooooo glad that he is doing so well--not wheelchair bound etc.

The painkiller road is tough--but you are in Ohio and near the Cleveland Clinic??? There are some places that have awesome comprehensive chronic pain programs--Johns Hopkins is one. I wish you luck working with that.

ChunkyNicksChunkyMom
07-06-2009, 04:44 PM
You all have made me feel so good! Thank you! This has been a long road already and there is another *issue* folded in with this whole mess that is pretty much as critical as the accident but I don't feel comfortable discussing it here. I have re-read the thread where I originally posted and got so many, many replies of encouragement many times when I have had dark days. Thanks for thinking of us.

ChunkyNicksChunkyMom
07-06-2009, 04:58 PM
You all have made me feel so good! Thank you! This has been a long road already and there is another *issue* folded in with this whole mess that is pretty much as critical as the accident but I don't feel comfortable discussing it here. I have re-read the thread where I originally posted and got so many, many replies of encouragement many times when I have had dark days. Thanks for thinking of us.

kozachka
07-06-2009, 05:38 PM
There is nothing really that DH refuses to do.

He can't last too long through a shopping outing nor can he really dance (although he tries) so we hardly ever do these things together. If we do shop, it's mostly when we travel and even than we are not browsing much. We go in, see if the store has what we are looking for, buy it if it's available and go do something else.

I don't miss the shopping bit but I do wish DH took some dancing classes. I love, love, LOVE dancing and have had years of dance training when I was younger (mostly folk dancing) but I don't see any point in going to clubs if we are just fooling around (DH's way of compensating for the lack of skill) or if I dance by myself. We've discussed taking a class together but it just never happened, which is at least partially my fault. I have to give DH credit for agreeing to do it.

On the other hand, there are some music acts that I just don't get (mostly because of the offensive IMO language) so DH gets to see them with his buddies. And I am so glad DS is old enough to go fishing with DH. I come along sometimes but I don't fish.