Toddler's montessori experience

[raj]

My son started Montessori a few weeks ago. He goes readily and with a happy face every morning. In class (new school) he has a few kids who cry a lot. This upsets him and apparently gets very sad and refuses to eat or sleep and cries a little. In the afternoon they combine classes so again there is one kid who cries a lot and upsets him. What do I do? I hate to put him thru this but not sure how long to wait.

[Pennylane]

I would speak to the teachers about it. We had the same problem when my oldest dd started preschool. There was a little girl that sobbed all day and the teacher had to hold her all the time. It was very distressing to many kids in the classroom. They ended up having the mom pick her up about 1 hour, then they kept extending it week by week until she was over her anxiety.

Ann

[raj]

Thanks Ann. I will ask them about it.. I just am so not sure about this school yet. Don't want to rush into puliing him out without giving them a fair chance. There are 3 teachers among 16 kids and not sure why they can not handle things better.

[boolady]

Thanks Ann. I will ask them about it.. I just am so not sure about this school yet. Don't want to rush into puliing him out without giving them a fair chance. There are 3 teachers among 16 kids and not sure why they can not handle things better.

What could they be handling better? If there are kids that have separation issues, they may have separation issues regardless of whatever the teacher does. DD had a little girl like this in her class until she moved up a few weeks ago. The girl and her family recently moved here from another country, she doesn't speak a word of English, and was being left with strangers who she couldn't understand. The teachers were going out of their way to comfort her, look after her, try to get her to play with the other kids, but every day when I would pick DD up, she would be crying because she saw other kids leaving. There was no amount of attention that was going to change that.

If you think it's poor or inadequate activities/supervision, then maybe there's something to be addressed. Otherwise, I'm not sure why you seem to be blaming the school for something. Maybe I'm missing it, I don't know.

ETA: Maybe this sounded harsh, which I didn't mean it to. I have just seen that there are some kids that may always have a tough time leaving their parents in the morning and some that won't. There are kids in DD's class who have been with her since they were all 6 months old. Some barely give their parents a second glance, some cry for a few minutes, etc. Other than trying to comfort them without making too big a deal out of it, I'm not sure what the teachers could do to change this. That's all!

[raj]

You are right in saying every child is different. I just am not sure if the teachers are doing enough to calm the kids. I saw the lead teacher say "stop it" to 2 kids who were crying when I went to pick my child. She did not yell at them but did say "stop it" . Another teacher took one child out of the class room as he had been crying the longest.
I do understand how the teachers would get frustrated to see the toddlers cry but then its their job to calm them down or distract them some how. I don't know how to know if my child is in the best hands all day..

[boolady]

You are right in saying every child is different. I just am not sure if the teachers are doing enough to calm the kids. I saw the lead teacher say "stop it" to 2 kids who were crying when I went to pick my child. She did not yell at them but did say "stop it" . Another teacher took one child out of the class room as he had been crying the longest.
I do understand how the teachers would get frustrated to see the toddlers cry but then its their job to calm them down or distract them some how. I don't know how to know if my child is in the best hands all day..

Hmm. I wouldn't be too happy with the "stop it," myself. That's not really productive, and it might make me wonder what's going on in general.

[boolady]

You are right in saying every child is different. I just am not sure if the teachers are doing enough to calm the kids. I saw the lead teacher say "stop it" to 2 kids who were crying when I went to pick my child. She did not yell at them but did say "stop it" . Another teacher took one child out of the class room as he had been crying the longest.
I do understand how the teachers would get frustrated to see the toddlers cry but then its their job to calm them down or distract them some how. I don't know how to know if my child is in the best hands all day..

Hmm. I wouldn't be happy with the "stop it," myself. That's not really productive (and clearly unkind), and would make me wonder what's going on in general.

[raj]

exactly! I just dont know what to do about it other than pull him out obvioulsy..but I don't want to make a rash decision!

[boolady]

Well, I'd start by talking to the teachers, but if you're uncomfortable with that given your observations, go to the director and speak to him/her about your concerns.

[raj]

I will. They always seem to have an answer for everything. I will definetly raise my concerns and see if they improve before pulling him out.

[Meatball Mommie]

I would definitely speak to the teachers (or just the lead teacher, if possible) regarding your child's reaction to the other kids w/ separation anxiety. Obviously it's upsetting to your child and, imo, that's the position you should take. (not that you're not concerned about the other child)

I clicked on this post bc. my 2 sons attend (and love, btw) a Montessori school along w/ my 2 neices. I really love their school, but also really love how they deal with the kids at drop off and pick up. It was my youngest's (3.5 at the time) 1st yr of school and 1st time away from me, to whom he is REALLY attached. I thought it was going to be a nightmare, but after a few days of their "method", it was good and he absolutely is fine now. This is going to sound abrupt, but they literally scoop the kids up and bring them into school if there's any reluctance to go past the threshold. They assured me (after my 30 min wait in the parking lot, lol), that he was absolutely fine and not crying. I personally think the whole drawn out seperation from a parent can make things worse (personal experience at a different school with DS #1).

I wouldn't make any quick decisions - maybe the other child has problems at home of which your are unaware? But obviously your DC is your 1st concern so I think you should approach someone at the school (with some authority - director or lead teacher) and express your concerns that your DC is upset with another child crying so much. Good luck!