S/O: How did you find your pediatrician?

[ourbabygirl]

Had DD's 9 month well baby appt. today, and as usual I went in w/a bunch of questions to ask. Our dr. is very laid back about everything, and seems to have the attitude of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I, on the other hand, am a type A personality and AR new mom... I'd like clear & specific directions on what to do and what not to do with our baby. I just feel like I'm winging this whole parenting thing, and though I look up a ton of info. in books, online, here, and ask friends and relatives (about starting solids, picking car seats, etc.), I'd like a pediatrician who gives more guidance. Our current ped. is really nice, easy to talk to, seems smart & educated and everything, but basically says that she's growing well, and just keep doing what we're doing. How did you find your pediatrician, and did you have to interview a lot of them to find a good fit? How far do you drive to yours?

Thanks for your help!

[wellyes]

Oh we're all just winging it LOL.

I did interview DD's ped beforehand - several doctors in a shared practice. I actually didn't have a problem with any of them. I chose as her primary a relatively young doctor who is a new mom herself. She ended up giving me advice that I didn't like regarding Ferberizing and some nutrition stuff -- but eventually I came around, and she was right. So I think the interview was good in that I found a doctor I can trust, not just one who will agree with me.

The questions don't matter so much as seeing what kind of chemistry you have (unless, of course, you want to do something like skip vaccinations. Then the questions become really important).

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think as time ticks on you will like that pediatrician more. An overly opinionated pediatrician can be a PITA. Especially if you start to catch on thattheir advice really doesn't make sense. Like, how will you feel at 12m when they tell you to switch baby to frward facing? YOu could be going along happily, absorbing all of their advice, only to realize they might not be all that right? kwim? There are so, so many opinions wrt things like solids, vaccines, sleep....that that is why some peds have a more relaxed attitude about it all. They have seen so many different ways work that they no longer feel there is a "right" way to do things.

All that said,
with ds1 I did the following:
- I asked friends and neighbors who they used.
-I asked my midwife who she would recommend.
-I had a few key issues I really felt passionate about.
-I set up interviews.
-One ped answered my big question so well that I knew he was the one for me. :) He was truly the best.

Ds2, my midwife kept suggesting someone new (we were in a new city now) because she wasn't all that impressed with the ped we currently had. I went for an interview with the ped she recommended and immediately knew why she recommended him. He has been fabulous.Knowledgeable, respectful, helpful and laid back. :)

I visited 3 practices before ds1 was born. When we moved I just picked one practice...and left a few months later b/c one Dr. in the practice had a horrible bedside manner. Next practice we were with for years but I never really loved it, just didn't hate it. Now I am happily settled in. I drive about 15 minutes to get there.

Beth

[brittone2]

Agreeing w/ the PP. I personally prefer a doc who doesn't hand out unsolicited advice on discipline, when to wean, etc. etc. as those things really depend on the family, kwim? When we were living a different state we found a very BFing friendly ped (advocated cosleeping, knew the benefits, did not push weaning, etc.) who had taken a lot of continuing ed on BFing and BF her own twins until they were almost 2. However, one thing I did not like about her was that at each visit she'd say things like..."at our next visit we'll discuss discipline." Of course, if a parent *asks* for advice, I have no problem w/ a doc presenting a few tips and advice, realizing that there are many different philosophies and solutions, kwim?

Our current MD is a family practice doc, not a ped. He teaches at a major university medical center and is up to date. He's truly BFing friendly (no pressure to wean, even with extended nursing, no issues w/ safely practiced cosleeping, etc.). He still delivers babies (I use midwives), and in his new practice is considering "limited housecalls" (not sure what that will translate to). He is running BFing education classes in his office. He's very, very much a "whatever works for a family" kind of guy...I adore him. He also treats the whole family (meaning, I took DS in a few weeks ago for something and mentioned DD was likely starting w/ it...he checked her out as part of DS's visit...no extra charge. ). He enjoys kids and that comes across in a genuine fashion....DS had a rapid strep test and did not enjoy the throat swab (started crying). The doctor comforted him, and then in a stroke of brilliance engaged DS in helping to actually perform the rapid strep test...distracting DS, while earning back his trust, etc. kwim?

Our visits are somewhat lengthy, but he really takes his time and we never, ever feel rushed.

eta: I found the doc we currently see (we moved to a new state and needed to find someone) by:
talking w/ my midwives
talking w/ other local parents w/ similar interests/beliefs
talking to another MD who was highly, highly recommended but was taking a sabbatical just as we were moving...she recommended him to me
feedback from a local parenting message board
I did not interview him. However if you opt for an interview (which is great if you can arrange it)...ask open ended questions. (for example, if a mom asks "are you supportive of BFing" the pat answer is yes, of course. However, if you ask more open ended questions about how they handle babies slow to gain weight, moms having nipple pain or latch issues w/ baby, how often do they refer out to LCs, etc. etc. you'll get a better idea of what really goes on, kwim?)

I've driven as far as 35 mins in the past. Our current doc was about that distance away, then their whole practice moved a tiny bit closer (more like 25 mins away) and then fortunately he spun off his own private practice that is only 10 mins away from us now.

[DebbieJ]

I consider my pediatrician invaluable for medical advice, but he is not a parenting expert as far as I'm concerned.

Your dr is right--winging it is just fine! Obviously your daughter is doing just fine.

If you want parenting advice, read some books.

[Sillygirl]

Had DD's 9 month well baby appt. today, and as usual I went in w/a bunch of questions to ask. Our dr. is very laid back about everything, and seems to have the attitude of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I, on the other hand, am a type A personality and AR new mom... I'd like clear & specific directions on what to do and what not to do with our baby. I just feel like I'm winging this whole parenting thing, and though I look up a ton of info. in books, online, here, and ask friends and relatives (about starting solids, picking car seats, etc.), I'd like a pediatrician who gives more guidance. Our current ped. is really nice, easy to talk to, seems smart & educated and everything, but basically says that she's growing well, and just keep doing what we're doing. How did you find your pediatrician, and did you have to interview a lot of them to find a good fit? How far do you drive to yours?

Thanks for your help!

You're wanting parenting advice, but your pediatrician's primary training is in medical issues. Developmental milestones, detecting disease, etc. If you really need a ped that can give you parenting advice, you need to find one that has their own kids. Even then, it's going to be BTDT advice, much the same that you can find here or among your IRL friends. There is no car seat module in medical school.

[ourbabygirl]

Well, I guess I don't know what is part of a pediatrician's job description and what I should be finding out through other sources. When I look through books, look on various websites, and talk with friends who have kids, I get all sorts of different answers. The questions I had were: how often & how much to be nursing and giving her solids, when and how to start weaning, how much should she be sleeping, symptoms of an ear infection, how much Tylenol is o.k. in a dose, how do I clear up her eczema, separation and stranger anxiety questions, can I spread out her next shots, can we use a topical cream I've heard about to make the shots hurt less, etc., etc. It sounds like my SIL's ped. gives them very specific advice on when and how much to feed the baby, dealing with sleeping issues, etc., and I feel like I need more of that type of guidance since I don't know what I'm doing.

[egoldber]

I picked our ped because my new neighbors recommended them when we moved to our area. I was very pregnant with my oldest at the time and did not have a lot of time to hunt for a ped.

But I *stayed* with them for these reasons. :)

Their medical expertise - they are always up to date on the latest medical research. Any time I have a question about a new study I heard about on NPR or read in the Washington Post, they know about it and can talk to me about it.

They are very tolerant of my many questions. :)

The main peds in the practice are older (50s/60s) and have grown families, so they have BTDT experience and are generally more laid back

They are VERY breastfeeding friendly and very knowledgeable and supportive even when breastfeeding does not go well at first.

As I moved from first time, new mom to experienced mom, they recongnized that and they also know to listen to mom's intuition. When I tell them something is wrong/off they pay attention to me.

The nurse line is very good and I can always get in same day with a sick appointment.

They know their limitations. As soon as my older DD was diagnosed with severe allergies and asthma they immediately referred us out to an asthma/allergy specialist and didn't try to muddle about on their own. When I expressed concerns about some behavioral issues, they referred us to a psychologist. And I have always been happy with the docs they have referred us to.

They are an old established practice and they are well known in the local hospitals. Which was important to me when my younger was in the NICU....the NICU did not want to discharge her and our ped was able to get her discharged because the NICU docs trusted them. And when my exclusively breastfed 9 week old was admitted to the hospital with RSV, they were able to smooth things over with a peds nursing staff that was going ballistic because she wasn't bottle fed and they couldn't measure how much she was eating.

I don't want or need parenting advice from my ped. But their medical advice and expertise have been invaluable to us.

[egoldber]

I feel like I need more of that type of guidance since I don't know what I'm doing

None of us know that, not even the peds. ;) Scary no?

[tarahsolazy]

The questions I had were: how often & how much to be nursing and giving her solids, when and how to start weaning, how much should she be sleeping, symptoms of an ear infection, how much Tylenol is o.k. in a dose, how do I clear up her eczema, separation and stranger anxiety questions, can I spread out her next shots, can we use a topical cream I've heard about to make the shots hurt less, etc., etc. It sounds like my SIL's ped. gives them very specific advice on when and how much to feed the baby, dealing with sleeping issues, etc., and I feel like I need more of that type of guidance since I don't know what I'm doing.

some of your questions are things I think (and I AM a ped) docs should cover: cream for shots, tylenol dosing, ear infection symptoms, shot spacing, basic recommendations on starting solids, etc.

The rest is mostly advice based on their own opinions, honestly, and therefore no more accurate than your SIL, friend, or mom. You need to do what gives you peace in your own life, rather than trying to follow advice from others. As a new mom, I found myself swept up in the online world of attachment parenting/natural family living, where there seemed to be a list of good and bad behaviors. I was much happier when I stopped trying to measure up to an invented ideal, and just did what I thought was best for my kid, and what was the best I could do.

You DO know what you are doing, just do what seems right, and it probably is.

to your real question:
I have always used academic general peds for my kids, and in the last 3 years have been using residents. I do this because I DON'T want parenting advice. They rarely give me any parenting advice, since I supervise them in another area of the hospital. Also, my parenting style varies substantially from the party line most of the peds in our dept teach, and that's pretty well known by the residents. I like being subversive, lol.

[ThreeofUs]

We just talked to everyone we knew about what pediatrician they used. Then we interviewed the top two choices. The first was not a good fit - we wanted clear information for new parents, with specific directions AND we wanted someone we could talk to. The second interview was a perfect fit, and we've been happy with him for 4.5 years.

So, talk to people about what you're looking for in a doctor and then interview the top couple. You'll find someone you like!

[AnnieW625]

I have tendencies to be a type A personality too, but honestly when it comes to my kid if it's not broken then I don't worry about fixing it either, but for a new mom I know how hard that can be to get a grip of.

Our first pediatrician was assigned to me at the hospital through our medical group (we had Blue Shield PPO) because I had no idea that I could pick a pediatrician and some people I knew seemed happy with the drs. the medical group had. He was a very nice guy but for the first couple of appts. he was more concerned about me than he was my daughter and that kind of freaked me out. So we switched to another doctor at the same medical group and stayed with him for 18 mos. and were very happy the entire time we were with him. He was more focused on my daughter and stuff and that was pretty refreshing, but also by three or four months when we saw him I was much more rested and both DD and I had worked out our routine. I never really thought to ask very many questions, but he was always very good about answering my responses.

When DD was 20 mos. old we switched to Kaiser because the Blue Sheild costs were going sky high, and Kaiser is saving us $130 a month in premiums:). I asked some friends in a mommy group for recs for pediatricians and found one, however because he was always really busy I never saw him just his NP who was very nice, and an older doctor who wasn't a good fit for little kids. I ended up getting another rec at another local Kaiser and we've been very happy with the care we have gotten from her.

I am another person who unless I ask a specific question about parenting advice I really don't care to get it from someone else esp. if it isn't 100% centered to my child and what I am doing for her. I have never read a parenting book since I had a child (did read some in child development in college) and I talk to my mom more than anything about what to do. I also have a sister who is 10 years younger than me so I learned a lot by helping her out.

ETA: I love the AAP's Caring for For Your Baby in the First Year and to this day it's the only parenting book I have read. When I have another I might look at Dr. Sears book too, but like I said before I get a lot of reference from my mom.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Well, I guess I don't know what is part of a pediatrician's job description and what I should be finding out through other sources. When I look through books, look on various websites, and talk with friends who have kids, I get all sorts of different answers. The questions I had were: how often & how much to be nursing and giving her solids, when and how to start weaning, how much should she be sleeping, symptoms of an ear infection, how much Tylenol is o.k. in a dose, how do I clear up her eczema, separation and stranger anxiety questions, can I spread out her next shots, can we use a topical cream I've heard about to make the shots hurt less, etc., etc. It sounds like my SIL's ped. gives them very specific advice on when and how much to feed the baby, dealing with sleeping issues, etc., and I feel like I need more of that type of guidance since I don't know what I'm doing.

Half of those things are going to boil down to personal preference and the answer they give you may be highly biased. For example, with sleep issues one ped might say to co-sleep while one would say CIO. Both are acceptable (possibly) to some but one might feel more "right" to you than the other. It doesn't mean the other one is "wrong" but at the end of the day it is you and the awake baby and it is up to your personal comfort range to decide how to handle it. There is just no one size solution to any issue. There are so many ways of handling them and all can equal success.

Take a list of q's in and see if they can answer them. Just because they don't offer the info unsolicited doesn't mean they don't have opinions or guideance. But, you may still leave not knowing exactly what to do because your baby is unique and your relationship with baby is too. No one can tell you when you should wean, that is a choice for you to make.

Do you have the book "Caring for your Baby and Young Child" by The American Academy of Pediatrics? That and "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears were my go-tos with ds1. The AAP books had solid info on illnesses, milestones, development. The Sears' book had good info on solids, sleep and illnesses and that one allowed me to be more instinctive with my parenting. I would read both together and then take the ideas, look for a common denominator and make choices from there.

I think the AAP book would be a great addition to your library. It is not really philosophy based (aka not going to be a book on "how" to parent), just kind of the nuts and bolts of what is typical for most children. Check it out. I think it would answer a lot of your questions. Note, you need to check the AAP's website every so often too b/c they do make changes in things and they would not be reflected in the book- like when they decided bf babies shouldn't start solids till 6m.

Good luck! You are doing fine. :)

Beth

[DietCokeLover]

We are fortunate. DD and DCs doctor is actually a psuedo-grandfather to them. He is a family practioner, so he doesn't specialize in peds, but the benefits are tremendous to us...

Such as:

I can drop by their house at 9 pm if needed and he will look at DC and write a script

I can call his personal cell phone and he will write script or call in an appt for that day

He LOVES my children, so I trust him implicitly.

I feel incredibly blessed to have him in our children's lives (and ours).

[hollybloom24]

Here's one bit of advice:

Pick a pediatrician who has kids! You can go to medical school, train in a pediatric hospital, read journals, go to meetings, etc. but you don't really understand kids and parenting unless you have them.

My husband is a pediatrician and he said he didn't realize how much wiser he is as a physician now that he has kids of his own. He said he never believed it until it happened to him.

[DebbieJ]

We are fortunate. DD and DCs doctor is actually a psuedo-grandfather to them. He is a family practioner, so he doesn't specialize in peds, but the benefits are tremendous to us...

Such as:

I can drop by their house at 9 pm if needed and he will look at DC and write a script

I can call his personal cell phone and he will write script or call in an appt for that day

He LOVES my children, so I trust him implicitly.

I feel incredibly blessed to have him in our children's lives (and ours).

We have the same situation. He goes to our church, our DS calls him Grandpa. We are invited to their family parties and they are invited to ours. Love it. :love5:

[carolinamama]

My ped is proactive but laid back. And I love that about him. He frequently tells me to keep up what we are doing. He is proactive about medical things and laid back about parenting advice - telling me last week to keep bfing as long as I wanted, as in none of his concern as long as ds was growing well - very breastfeeding friendly. The office does have an information sheet with Tylenol/Motrin doses, appropriate developmental milestones, sleep info, and general feeding information. I remember him going over it more with DS1 but honestly, I think he figures I can read it when I need the information. Parenting is really a "winging it" thing. Another thing I love about my ped is that he listens to me and values my input and intuition as the parent. He's quick to refer out if necessary but very current on gen peds info.

I chose the practice based on the things listed below and first started seeing a very experienced ped with ds1. He would basically be running out the door when he felt the visit was over and I got nothing extra with him. I will still he him in a pinch as he isn't bad, but not the best match for our family. Our ped will spend as much time as you need - which can work both ways. You can end up waiting longer for him but in return, you will get his full attention in time.

Things I like about the practice:
*Large established practice
*Good reputation in community
*Saturday appts for sick kids
*Good nurse line - call you back almost immediately, even if it is Christmas Eve!
*Same day (often within an hour or so) sick visits
*After hours sick visits when they can't get you in during office hours that day

Hope that helps alittle. If you aren't comfortable with your ped, can you try another in the same practice? You could have a different experience without any hassle of changing practices.

[Indianamom2]

I agree with Carolinamomma as well as whoever mentioned to find a pedi. with children of his/her own.

I look for someone who will take the time to answer my questions. I don't want someone to just pop in and out. I understand that I might have to wait longer for them, but then they generally take their time with my concerns as well.

What was perhaps more valuable to me than the actual pedi was the practice. All the attributes that carolinamomma mentioned (after-hours calls, same-day appts., weekend/holiday hours, etc....) are vitally important to me as my child never seems to get sick during normal office hours.

And as hard as it is to do, you have to try to ignore all that advice and do what feels right and works for you and your family, and no one else can tell you what exactly that will be. As other posters have mentioned, get a basic baby/child care book and use that as a guideline for what's normal/not, and feel free to wing it (within reason!) because that's what real parenting is.

Don't worry...you're normal.

Christina