Recommendations for mom of 3 yr old having twins

[arivecchi]

I have a friend who has a 3 yr old DD and is having twins in the winter. She is concerned about how she will be able to manage it all.

How did you manage in terms of help when twins are born and you already have a toddler? Do you need a nanny?

What do you need in terms of gear? Is a triple stroller necessary? Do you need to double up on all the gear or just some of it? TIA!

[BeachBum]

My DS was 3.25 when my twins were born. I did not have enough help. I wish I would have had someone full time. Instead I had my mom after 4pm, and she pretty much cooked for us too the first month or 6 weeks.
My house keeper comes 2 or 3x per week so she pretty much does all the housework and laundry. But I still really needed someone to help with the kids. The toddler will really need some special attention. If she has full time help the nanny can really focus on the toddler when the babies nap. I totally under estimated how hard things were going to be. I can not stress "get help" enough. You don't have to have a nanny forever but I absolutely wish I would have had someone full time the first 4 months. My boys are 6 months now and I feel like they are manageable, but I really wish I had extra hands part time now.

As for strollers, we have a toddler board attachment for our all terrain. I do not need a triple. Occasionally I will sling one baby and my preschooler can ride if we are gone for a long time like the mall.
As for gear, yes. I have doubles of most things. I think it depends a lot on how big your house is. I'm glad I have bouncy seats upstairs and down. I have 4 exersaucers, 2 down 2 up, I have 2 playmats, 2 swings. I find myself using gear much more than I did with my singleton. When I'm tending to one, I am doing my best to keep the other one happy.
I'm not saying you cant get by with less. But I could afford these things (or had them loaned to me) and I'm glad I had them.KWIM?

HTH

[arivecchi]

Yikes! Thanks for the information. I will pass this along to her.

My second son is a January 2009 baby too! :D

[WatchingThemGrow]

I don't have twins, but my 3 are closer together than her 3 will be. Help yes. More help, yes. Lightweight double, yes. Double with air tires, yes. Not sure about all the gear in the house, but that's what i've heard from my friends who had twins, then another set of twins - yikes!!

I got a postpartum doula for a few days after family petered out, then begged around for help. Today I had a retired nurse and a mother's helper. Being home alone with all three all day long (at 7.5 weeks) is still scary. I can't do it.

[arivecchi]

Thanks so much for the info. I still freak out at times when I am home alone with my two boys. :bag I admire you just because you were brave enough to have 3! Kudos mommies! :bighand:

[glbb35]

We had twins in April and here we are 13 weeks later, we have survived! We also have two older dss. One who will be six in the fall and a 3 yr old. It certianly is not easy. I don't know what happened to me after the twins birth but I became so much more at ease with things. Maybe it is lack of sleep, being completely crazy or what, I don't know but I stopped worrying about the things I could not control as much. When I feel like I am losing control I make sure I walk away and there nights that when dh comes home I hand him all four kids and go to try to nap, pump in peace or eat somethng really bad by myself. Exercise- forget it. 5 minutes of peace though does a body good! Maybe I prepared for the worse because things haven't been as bad as I thought they might be. Lack of sleep is definietely the hardest because you have other kids who don't understand why you are so tired. I also was really worried that ds #2 would get lost in the shuffle so I spent a lot of time making sure he was taken care of.

I agree with the other post about items you need. We have swings on each house level as well as bouncy seats, changing stations etc. You just need more of things. Never thought I would run out of blankets and bibs. We had more than enough with the singletons but never enough with the twins. You will have to prop bottles more as much as you might hate it. It is just a part of life. I don't feel as guilty as I used to. They are healthy and happy and doing well. I gave up on breast feeding two at a time it just did not work for me. But getting and keeping them on the same schedule is a must. So I feed one and pump for the other or feed stored milk that time.

We did line up help before the babies were born but when they were born it was earlier than expected and some of the people we were not able to help which in the end turned out to be a blessing. I don't like a lot of people in my house so it was actually one less thing to worry about. We do have a sitter/house-helper who come in 3 times a week and that has made a big difference. I work from home so I had to have someone there to help when I took a call or whatever. Did I mention that DH decided that now was the time to move? We just moved and I am sitting surrounded by boxes and mess. But what can I do? I think you go into survival mode and you do what you can do. Honestly the hardest thing for me had been my brain. I forget everything and I mean everything!!!!!! I have never been like this.That frustrates me to no end and I hope that recovers soon.

Everything will work out for your friend. I am a firm believer that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Some days I wonder but then the next day comes and it is better. Best of luck to her. The first four weeks are the most difficult to figure out but then a routine develops and it all falls into place. I also am thankful for the blessings I have: a great dh, 4 healthy, happy dss and sweet tea!

B

DS 03, 06 twins 09

[arivecchi]

Thank you for sharing your story! And I thought I had it tough with 2! :ROTFLMAO:I have forwarded all of your messages to my friend. I hope this will help her prepare for the arrival of the twins! :sleeping::sleeping: