so how do you react when you aren't invited?

[AnnieW625]

Right now I am a little sad because an acquitance (sp?) from my mommy group and Avon lady is having a baby next month. Some mutual mommy group friends threw her a baby shower and I wasn't invited. I honestly don't want to sound petty but is it bad to feel a little left out? One of the moms posted some of the photos on Facebook that's how I found out. Now I know I was due at the end of the month but we lost the baby back in April so I think that might be why I wasn't included. I don't have the heart or guts to ask why I wasn't invited but I have a feeling it was due to that. There are 25 moms in my mommy group and most of them were there or at least invited because some posted they weren't able to make it.

I don't expect any responses but really just wanted to sound off. Thanks for reading.

[bubbaray]

I'm really sorry. That must feel horrible.

BTW, I don't know if I knew about you losing the baby. Many hugs to you.

:grouphug:

[jren]

I'm sure they didn't mention it to you b/c of your loss. They probably assumed it would be too hard for you to go. Still hurtful, though, moreso than had you been given the invite tactfully, with option to turn it down if it was too rough on you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. And for the added hurt of how this situation was handled. I'm part of an IF support group, and unfortunately, this is commonly how people react to losses and IF. I'm sure it's hard to know what to do (for them). Is there a mommy in the group you'd feel comfortable sharing this with?

[gatorsmom]

I"m so sorry this happened to you. 2 painful experiences- I think your friends weren't thinking about this too clearly.

So, to answer your question what do I do? I stew about it for a couple of days to get it out of my system, whine and moan to my DH, and then I forget about it and let it go. Keeping busy and planning activities makes it easier to let the hurt go. imho.

I hope you are able to forget about the non-invite very soon. :hug:

[infomama]

I'm so sorry. Being left out is tough. I agree that they may have thought you would not enjoy the event but they should have left that decision up to you. Sorry again. :hug:

[AnnieW625]

Thanks ladies. After I posted which was really just to get the matter off my chest I realized that it really doesn't matter. It saved me $20 I would've spent on a gift. It was probably just an oversight by one of the friends and most of the ladies who were invited had kids who were her older sons ages (my daughter is right in the middle age wise) and she sees on a more regular basis because they don't work. I'll bring a dinner over once her baby is born, and I'll probably bring a little 12-18 mos. outfit for the baby too. It'll all be okay.

There is one mutual friend that was probably there that I could talk to, but honestly like I said initially I don't want to sound nitpicky or it get back to the shower recipient because she has a tendency to mountains out of molehills and I wouldn't want her to feel bad. She has so many other things on her plate (her baby has spina bifida, and mild hydrocephulus).

[SnuggleBuggles]

That's something I haven't liked about FB- people posting pics of them at parties that I wasn't invited to. I get kind of sad about it and wonder why I wasn't included. If I stop and think I usually realize that it makes sense that I wasn't invited b/c maybe I am not really close with the host. I get more bothered by ds not getting invited to something. I don't let that show at all and I don't bring it up. Right now he doesn't notice or care much but I know that the age where he will care is just around the corner.

Beth

[tiapam]

If it makes you feel any better they probably agonized over whether or not to invite you. I drive myself crazy every year when DD's bday comes around. I am already starting to go over possible guest lists in my head and I know it is going to be hard choosing.

I always appreciate any invitation, as a PP said, it is nice just to be invited and decide yourself. But after our wedding and other parties we have hosted since then, I have come to the realization that the host or hosts get to make the decisions about their party. There is always a line that has to be drawn. And usually if you cross the line, you aren't just adding one more person, but several more.

It sounds like you are almost over this already, but I'll send a hug anyway!

[firsttimemama]

I feel hurt when I'm left out.
I took a "facebook vacation" for a month because of that and other assorted high school behavior in my "circle of friends"
and I am contemplating a facebook vacation again!
I think I'm too sensitive a person for FB

I'm sorry you're feeling this way