How to make our vacation feel more like a vacation?

[alien_host]

I don't know how to word this without sounding ungrateful. Well here goes. We rent a beach house/condo each summer for a week. This has been our only vacation. We have a full kitchen and laundry machines. The kitchen is great because we can have breakfast/lunch and even dinner "at home" and save some money. Plus with DD's food allergies sometimes it is easier that way.

The "issue" I have is that when we get back I often feel like I haven't been on vacation. I do all the prep work before the trip. This includes laundry, packing (DH does pack is own clothes), stopping the mail/newspaper etc. While on vacation I do most of the meal prep, clean up of dishes. If we do laundry down there I do it. We have to clean the place before we leave (bathrooms, kitchen, vacuum).

I do the food shopping there. We spend days at the beach/pool or day trips. We do eat out at times but with a 4 year old even that can get tricky.

I love spending the time with DH and DD but it doesn't seem that different than what I have to do at home (I'm a SAHM) besides the beach part. DH and I trade off on who gets up with DD in the AM or we both get up at the same time.

When we get back it's a lot of laundry (we bring linens too) and getting resettled.

So what can we/I do to make it feel more relaxing and less like ordinary life? Does that make sense?

[newg]

can you split up more of the chores down there?? What about using more paper plates and utensils (I know not as enviromentally friendly...but less dish washing!!) I know DD has food allergies, but is there a way to do more grilling or ordering out of either lunch or dinner ? Can you bring more clothes that don't [I]have[I] to be washed while you're down there..or at least not as often??
We go to HHI often and will sometimes do one last load of laundry while we're down there so we pack clean clothes and I don't have as much laundry to do when we get home....and we try to take things that can be worn more than once before needing a wash and enough underwear/socks for the entire trip (if possible) to cut down on having to wash those all the time...
I think the biggest thing for us is the clothes and we use the grill a ton, so we have quick simple meals.....plus DH really steps up and helps with regular chores..

[WatchingThemGrow]

So what can we/I do to make it feel more relaxing and less like ordinary life? Does that make sense?

Don't bring the kids is the only thing I can think of!

A friend said it best, "Going on vacation with your kids is just childcare in a different location."

Trying to do stuff ahead of time and plan/cook the meals ahead of time just means that you do double the work in the weeks before the trip, and then you're exhausted the week OF the trip. What about doing more take-out or paying for the laundry? I'm appreciative of the fact that my ILs pay for linens and cleaning for the week we go as a family. It's just toooo much for a family with young children IMO.

[happy2bamom]

Have you talked to DH about this? If he is open to it, I would suggest divvying up the duties between the two of you. As far as food, I would keep atleast 2 meals a day simple and on paper plates (ie. cereal or pop tarts for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch). Have DH grill a couple of nights.

My DH doesn't even think about the chores that need to be done on vacation (or at home most of the time), but if I mention them to him then he is usually willing to help out. Hope you get some R & R.

[alien_host]

A friend said it best, "Going on vacation with your kids is just childcare in a different location."

That is true!

DH does do a lot of grilling. In fact we only grill for meals we eat at home. I'll have him make an extra chicken breast so we can have it for lunch the next day etc. I maybe will make rice or mac and cheese as a side dish so that's when I use pans.

For breakfast we do fruit, cereal, bagels, toast ... that sort of thing so it's not that difficult. Lunch is usually sandwiches or pasta salad. In general meal clean up is not that bad (no pots and pans).

I'm going to talk to DH and see what he thinks about dinners. Since we are only going for 1 week vs 2, maybe we'll attempt to eat out dinners more.

As far as laundry goes. My *plan* is to do very little this year. I will pack enough stuff for the week. I might need to wash towels once or twice but that's pretty easy. In the past I've washed some clothing so I don't have to come home with a ton of dirty laundry.

One issue right now is that I'm trying to get all the laundry washed here at home BEFORE we go so I don't come home to a ton (change out the sheets at home before we go so we have clean ones for when we get back, towels too). DH has his set of chores too (mow the lawn) and other household stuff before we go.

I do need to talk with DH, he feels a vacation means not doing chores and if we were in a hotel, that would be true/fine.

[bnme]

-Have DH take the kids alone for a few hours so you can either relax at the house, go somewhere by yourself, or just even get whatever needs to get done at the house easily.

-Go out for icecream if dinners are too hard.

-Have drinks outside with DH after the kids go to bed.

[lil_acorn]

can you do food prep before you leave and bring it down with you in a cooler (not sure if you are flying or driving). I made a ton of meat sauce before our last vacation and it lasted for 3 days. And pre-washed/cut salad.

[Elilly]

You're both on vacation. Your DH is off of work but that now means that you split the "house" activities. We designate a schedule ahead of time. DH does dinner on Monday, me on Thursday, and we out for dinner other than that. We share laundry tasks and use paper plates. I've found that if we don't do it this way, I become very resentful.

ETA: We have a DS with food allergies too. I prep as much as I can before we leave. We take a mini cooler to restaurants and they will warm the food for us :)

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

Well, we're taking the grandparents with us on vacation. That way we do get at least a little bit of true off-duty time.

We don't do any cooking on vacation. That's one of the things we want to escape! :)

[niccig]

A friend said it best, "Going on vacation with your kids is just childcare in a different location."

:yeahthat: I HATE vacations. There is so much work to do before we leave, during and afterward. They are not vacations at all.

I agree with divvying up chores while you are there, and not worrying about things too much. Enjoy the time, sit with DH having a class of wine and leave the dishes until the next day etc.

[specialp]

I think the before chores (laundry, stopping mail) are the same for everyone.

I think the food prep could help you. I make food ahead of time, freeze it and then take it in a cooler to the beach condo which has a full kitchen. I also tend to buy most of my groceries here b/c it's cheaper and b/c I truly hate grocery shopping so doing that on my vacation would seriously tick me off. I buy a bunch of steam-fresh veggie bags for sides. We pretty much eat off of that for the entire time and then on the last day go out to a very nice place that I probably wouldn't even consider if we had spent the whole week going out to eat.

[kerridean]

This is why we have yet to "vacation" with the kids. Sorry, but it is NOT a vacation if I am doing child care and food prep. We leave the kids with the grandparents each year for a 2 or 3 day mini-vaca.

[kransden]

I am all about using paper plates etc. and going to Trader Joes for the premade foods. DH can also make dinner etc. too. Sandwichs would be on my menu! :)

[jayali]

I have some very strict rules about vacation - 1 of them is that I will not go somewhere that I have to make/strip the bed. We rented a beach house one summer with friends and I swore I would never do it again. I told my husband that if I have to put my house on wheels then he could forget the trip. To me a vacation has to be in a hotel or condo, with housekeeping services.

I must be full disclosure here - we have since bought our own beach house, but I still insist on a "real" (to me) vacation. Meaning that a week at our house is not a vacation because I still have to do all of the things (laundry, meal prep, cleaning) that I would do during a regular week.

I usually don't feel like going away with my son is a lot of work. Yes I do have to plan - pack some clothes, get someone to sit with the dog (when we had one), stop the mail etc, but once we are away I can completely relax. I also find that since we don't have all of those "chore" type things to do then we are much more relaxed with our son. But being on vacation with him is not a big deal for us, of course there are two of us and only 1 of him and we tend to vacation at places that has stuff to do for kids so we do often get a little alone time.

[alien_host]

thanks for the ideas!

I think I'll definitely have DH take DD to the pool so I can hang out and do something for myself, even if it is just reading or whatever that would be a good break for me!

I shouldn't complain, the trip is fun, it's just a lot of work to get there and back!

[bubbaray]

We vacation a LOT as a family and I don't find it relaxing AT ALL. Regardless of where or how we vacation (air, hotel, drive, RV), I find it very stressful and as much if not more work than being at home.

[Melaine]

I tell myself we are going on a trip and don't use the word vacation. If I say "vacation", I am setting myself up for huge disappointment. I pretty much figure we won't be going on any real vacations for awhile.

Sorry, I realize that wasn't actually helpful, but you certainly aren't alone. It's not to say that I never enjoy our trips, just that they are a lot of work and stress.

[Jen841]

Share chores
Make 'special' meals
Go on special adventures
Bring bubble bath stuff
Have cocktail hours with DH
Bring movies
Bring some good lotion for yourself and take time to use it
Mani/Pedi out or do it yourself

I realize some of the tricks my Mom did when we were younger...
Vacation = Sugar cereal (heck no preping anything for her)
TV time - prior to VCRs and DVDs we got to watch a bit more than usual (I got to watch The Waltons and Little House on the Praire, and the Sunday Night Disney stuff)

I realize now what were treats for us kids were treats for Mom and Dad too.

[firsttimemama]

We just got back from a beach vacation with DS (19 mo) and I have to agree.. it was definitely different from vacations pre-kid.

A friend suggested to me that he thinks mountain vacations are less work or more relaxing than beach vacations (?) He doesn't have kids though.

[egoldber]

Well it definitely gets better when your kids are older. Vacationing with Sarah is easy. Amy is still hard. This is YOUR vacation too. Find a spa and get a massage or a pedicure. Or whatever it is that you like to do. It's not fair that you do the all the childcare 24/7 when he is right there!

[gatorsmom]

My dear that is definitely NOT a vacation for YOU!!! You are doing all the work you do at home AND THEN SOME because you also have to pack and prepare for the vacation.


Hmmm, if it were me I'd insist on:

eating more meals out or have DH go pick something up and bring home- at least once per day
have DH prepare breakfast in the morning for DC so that I could sleep in
having AT LEAST a half day all to myself to go out for lunch or read a book in peace at the beach. Probably I'd insist on a day or more.
Divide up the chores with DH.
My mom used to do all that stuff when we went camping as children. One day she said she wasn't doing it anymore and wasn't going camping anymore. She put her foot down. We were in high school when she finally said no. Now, grown, I COMPLETELY understand why she stopped going. It is hard work. big hugs!:hug5:

[zag95]

I totally agree with prev posters:

Get a spa treatment (massage, pedi, mani, or even a hand massage!)
Walk somewhere for a latte or cup of tea (without anyone!)
Have daddy and DC make a meal or three!
Take an hour by yourself- to read, sleep, lay on the beach, see the ocean, etc.

Taking the grandparents are great, because you can pass your DC off!!! Try it!!!!