Helping me with things i don't want done is not helpful

[kayte]

DH drives me crazy........... When he comes home I am trying to get dinner on the table, DD into bed with all that routine requires and he comes home.. and starts putting away the dishes from the dishwasher. I calmly say day after freakin day, if you want to really help me, you could set the table, help with dinner or something like that-- (while I scream in my head SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO ACTUALLY BE DONE SOONER AND NOT LATER). Then I GET A LECTURE On how he IS helping--NO IT'S REALLY NOT HELPFUL FOR YOUR GET IN THE WAY AND NOT HELP ME WITH WHAT ACTUALLY NEEDS TO GET DONE BEFORE 7:30.

ANd why is so wrong to say, "hey I know you are being helpful, but I could really use help doing...." Why is that wrong???? Why now is he flippin screaming and angry because he says he is trying to help and I am being difficult????????????????

[niccig]

This is my DH. We were getting the house cleaned for dinner guests that night, and he decides it's a perfect time to install the new operating software on the computer...yep, perfect timing...and then he said it would only take a few minutes...yeah right :banghead:

Apparently FIL is exactly the same..

[shoxie]

Oh, I understand you TOTALLY! Not with regards to my DH so much (although he does this to an extent, as well) but with my parents. They offer to help but then they do what they think helps or what they want to do, even if I tell them it's not helpful to me at all - and is actually making things harder for me. I hear you 100%!! I don't want to be completely rude b/c I do appreciate the fact that they're trying to do SOMETHING, but it really does.not.help. Bah.

[KrisM]

Yes. We hosted Christmas this past year. I'm cleaning, wrapping, etc. DH is filling dings in the wall and doing touch up painting. Um, those have been there for months. Tonight is when you need to fix it??

[StantonHyde]

DH has a thing with putting dishes away in the dishwasher. Or if we are having people over, he decides--one hour before--to get rid of all the clutter. So he keeps asking me where stuff needs to go. I have no FREAKING idea!! Help with dinner--will ya!

But the BEST I have ever heard, was a woman on a radio show who said her husband will step over piles of dirty laundry with his screw driver to fix all the screws in the outlet covers so that the line is horizontal, not vertical. Because it looks bad. O. M. G.

[vejemom]

At least he knows the dishwasher actually exists....We have fought a pitch battle in our house about leaving dirty dishes in the sink vs. putting them into the dishwasher as they are used. Now the three older kids leave them out, too. And everyone complains about flies in the kitchen. Hmm, the big mess o'dirty dishes couldn't possibly be attracting them. No...

DH also has the distinction of being able to time being in the shower every time invited guests are arriving. Every single time. Because he's dirty from installing the new OS on the computer, or some other odd chore that didn't need to be done right then :D

[kayte]

DH also has the distinction of being able to time being in the shower every time invited guests are arriving. Every single time. Because he's dirty from installing the new OS on the computer, or some other odd chore that didn't need to be done right then :D

OMG this too, while I am at it... aaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[cuca_]

At least he knows the dishwasher actually exists....:D
:yeahthat:

[jgenie]

Or if we are having people over, he decides--one hour before--to get rid of all the clutter. So he keeps asking me where stuff needs to go. I have no FREAKING idea!! Help with dinner--will ya!


DH was doing this just the other day - if you're going to ask me where everything goes - please just leave it there until I can sort it.

[MontrealMum]

I get this with DH all the time. He's invented some interesting things to "clean" around the household. But the thing that really gets me is when I start to clean, something in his brain tells him he should help - so he does - by taking over what I'm doing! :banghead: I have to keep telling him, dude, get your own chore to do!

[s7714]

My DH always starts putting the dishes from the dishwasher away when I'm in the middle of cooking dinner! It annoys the heck out of me because he's constantly getting in my way. I know what his motive is though. If he gets all the clean ones put away asap, then he'll have less dishes to deal with after dinner and can therefore watch TV or do work while he's waiting for me to get the kids ready for bed. I am thankful however that he handles all the dishes, because I really hate doing them!

[kijip]

I hear ya! J "helped me" by paying a $340 medical bill that we don't actually owe (our insurance actually already paid them the FULL PURCHASE PRICE for the equipment and then some)...I was planning on disputing it! Harder to dispute once the money is in their hand, ya know? At the same time, he also paid 2 bills I auto-pay. So they were paid twice. Not as big of a deal since it just means we are paid in advance on some utilities. But ASKING before spending hundreds of dollars would be nice. I don't ignore bills, if I didn't pay it, it was for a darn good reason!