Why doesn't my almost 5 year old listen?

[KBecks]

or exhibit much self control? I am a very patient person but this is starting to make me crazy!

I have given A a lot of freedom in a lot of ways but I feel like I am a failure and perhaps have not communicated enough expectations to him, or reinforced them enough.

I am starting to lose patience, especially when I tell him to stop doing something or not do something or be careful and then he does whatever I don't want.

Also, it's hard to manage all three kids!

[KrisM]

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=330079&highlight=wrong

[kedss]

it's like asking why the sun shines. ;)
I think 5 is a hard age esp when you want to give them enough freedom so they can function at Kindergarten, but make sure they have manners and can sit still in class...I'm working on that myself...and with a 1 year old along for the ride, it makes it more interesting-

hugs

[gatorsmom]

My 6yo is like this. And unfortunately, the 4yo does whatever the 6yo does so I have 2 little monsters doing this. :hopmad: I have had to keep a closer eye on myself and just make sure I stay consistent with my punishments and timeouts. I have found that they will argue with me and try to change my mind but I don't back down. If I said something is going to happen, it's going to happen. If they don't wash their hands when they first walk in the door, they get a time out, just like I said they would. I try not to argue, or nag, I pick them up and put them in time out and then promptly get in their face and tell them they have to listen to me. My thought was that they were liking their freedom a little too much and seeing if they could push the limits. I just had to push back. I"m hoping and expecting them to get back in line soon when they see that I"m not going to back down. I guess this is one time that being a stubborn mule has actually HELPED my life. :wink2:

[salsah]

well, i guess my dd is normal after all. sorry, no advice, just sympathy.

[sarahsthreads]

Wait, they're supposed to listen?!?

I have no advice, but I can commiserate. There have been days lately where I've decided that this summer is meant prepare me so that when the bus comes to pick DD1 up that first day of school, instead of tears of loss I'll be crying tears of joy. (And then there are other days when she's an absolute angel, so maybe my theory is not quite right...)

Sarah :)

[ThreeofUs]

I don't have advice, but I can commiserate, too!

Honestly, I feel near despair at least once a day over my 4-going-on-5 yo's behavior. I am trying my best, but I don't know if I'm a good enough mother for this. Frankly, it makes me wish I had a full-time career back. And that makes me feel even worse.

I'm hoping this clears up or I grow to be a much better parent before DS1's adolescence.

[sarahsthreads]

I don't have advice, but I can commiserate, too!

Honestly, I feel near despair at least once a day over my 4-going-on-5 yo's behavior. I am trying my best, but I don't know if I'm a good enough mother for this. Frankly, it makes me wish I had a full-time career back. And that makes me feel even worse.

I'm hoping this clears up or I grow to be a much better parent before DS1's adolescence.

I feel the same way, dreading adolescence! (OMG, two teenage daughters. PMS x3 - or maybe PMS x2 + menopause for me? DH is going to run away, and I can't blame him.) And it's making me rethink the desire for a third child someday, because I barely have enough in me to get through a day with the two that I have. Literally by the end of the day I feel like I have nothing left to give anyone as "mom".

I look forward, in a scary way, to the two evenings a week that I have to go to work and get to leave DH with the screaming and the whining and the whingeing (from both of them) at bedtime!

Sarah :)

[ellies mom]

I'm upstairs hiding from the family mostly for that reason. I don't know. It seems so simple. Don't keep pushing mom and life is so much more fun. Push mom past her limit and life sucks. When mom says settle down, settle down. Because the more you push, the less she will put up with. But Ellie just doesn't get it. And add in chasing an extremely mobile, extremely determined 15 month old around and yeah, mommy is short tempered.

Oh wait? Did you want advice? Hopefully, commiseration will help. I know I always feel better knowing my friends sometimes wish it was OK to lock kids in the closet too.

[kedss]

yeah, my 5 year old hasn't figured out that if you are nice to Mommy, most likely she will be nice to you. That cause/effect thing hasn't sunk in yet.

[npace19147]

That cause/effect thing hasn't sunk in yet.

I would really like to know when this one sinks in. Apparently we haven't hit the millionth repetition yet.

[BabyMine]

I am also hiding in my room. I love my DS but, there are times when I don't like him.

[kedss]

this, exactly this. I want to like him, he makes it very hard a lot of the time.

[SnuggleBuggles]

it was absolutely amazing the difference between my ds when he was 5 and when he was 6. We didn't change much of anything it was just simply a matter of age and maturity. Doesn't make it any easier to deal day to day with a 5yo but I just wanted to give you something to look forward to. :) if asked last year when ds was in kindergarten how 1st grade would go I would have been nerovus. However, ds got an "outstanding" in all behavior categories, including "exhibits self control." Huge difference from getting called into the director's pffice in kindergarten b/c he had so little self control. I had no idea that things could work out so well. I am so glad we all survived all the years before he turned 6 b/c there were some rough patches! :)

Beth

[egoldber]

I agree that 4/5 is a really hard age. They have big feelings and big emotions and big things happening to them (preK and K) but still little life experience to develop the skills to handle these emotions. My older DD's hugest tantrums EVER were when she was 5.

I agree that 6 is so much better than 5. And I was all about 7. I think 7 is an amazing age and 8 seems like it will be even better. I know at some point she will turn into a pre adolescent, but right now I'm loving it. :)

[octmom]

I would really like to know when this one sinks in. Apparently we haven't hit the millionth repetition yet.

:yeahthat: We are finishing up two weeks of vacation-- a week away and a week closer to home but doing lots of fun things. I am soooo looking forward to going back to my office on Monday and having the kids at camp. DS has been pushing my buttons.