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moonsky
07-28-2009, 02:40 PM
As DC's upcoming 1st birthday party is quite formal, is it ok for me to put in the invitation on the attire? Like casual but no flip flop or short? I don't want to be rude. What would be an appropriate way to address this in the invitation. I will be wearing a nice cocktail dress. TIA!

egoldber
07-28-2009, 02:54 PM
Well personally I would hate to show up at a party in flip flops and a tank top when the hostess was wearing a cocktail dress LOL, so I would definitely let people know! Definitely have the invite indicate that it's formal with formal attire.

And having now seen this thread DO NOT invite the older siblings of DC#1's friends!

Melaine
07-28-2009, 03:02 PM
ITA to make it very obvious on the invitation....especially for something like a 1st birthday which I would probably just assume is very casual unless otherwise indicated.

boolady
07-28-2009, 03:06 PM
ITA to make it very obvious on the invitation....especially for something like a 1st birthday which I would probably just assume is very casual unless otherwise indicated.

Yes, definitely. I also agree about no older siblings if it's a formal party.

SnuggleBuggles
07-28-2009, 03:25 PM
Yeah, if I was invited to a child's b-day party I would never dream of getting dressed up for it. You need to include that sort of info on the invite b/c it most likely won't be common knowledge to dress up. But, maybe that is the norm in your social circle. Either way I would say something so there is no confusion.

Beth

moonsky
07-28-2009, 03:42 PM
I don't expect my guests to dress up. But I hope they don't wear flip flop or short. So, can I just say "No flip flop or short please."

happymom
07-28-2009, 03:48 PM
Just curious- what kind of invitation are you sending out? If its a more formal style invitation, people might realize on their own. If its a cutesy invitation, people definitely won't realize. Then again, you probably don't want to count on people figuring it out for themselves. I think its fine to write it straight out. Is there a theme to the party? Maybe you could mention the proper attire with a cute one-liner tied to the theme?

MamaMolly
07-28-2009, 03:55 PM
I'd go with 'Business Casual Attire' rather than saying no this or that. They might think it is a reference to the gift! HAHAHA! Ok, just kidding...

And ITA with the PP who said not to invite DC1's friends/siblings. This is DC2's party after all, and I can't imagine a bunch of 6 year olds in scratchy outfits behaving particularly well.

stella
07-28-2009, 04:00 PM
I am curious about the formal nature of this party. Is it at night? What will the guest of honor wear? Is it at your home or another location? Are you serving dinner? cocktails? hors d'oeuvres?

I do think you'll go far by the sort of invitation you send, but you may have to specify no shorts or flip-flops since that is pretty standard dress around here.

tell us more!

maydaymommy
07-28-2009, 05:35 PM
I am curious about the formal nature of this party. Is it at night? What will the guest of honor wear? Is it at your home or another location? Are you serving dinner? cocktails? hors d'oeuvres?


:yeahthat:

Tell!Tell!!

moonsky
07-28-2009, 06:16 PM
I am curious about the formal nature of this party. Is it at night? What will the guest of honor wear? Is it at your home or another location? Are you serving dinner? cocktails? hors d'oeuvres?

I do think you'll go far by the sort of invitation you send, but you may have to specify no shorts or flip-flops since that is pretty standard dress around here.

tell us more!

It will be a lunch buffet. We got a room reserved at the top of high rise building. Dinner will not work for DC's bedtime. No hors d'oeures. Just wine, lunch(buffet style-meal(not sandwich)), dessert, drink, and cake. We use tablecloth(not plastic) and will put some nice decoration(The room is nice and has amazing view. So, not much decoration is necessary) and flower in vases are our centerpieces.

I didn't think about attire code till one of my friends who helped me shopping mentioned about it. Dh told me not to put any note on the invite but my friend said I should.

arivecchi
07-28-2009, 06:23 PM
How about saying: Dressy Casual Attire or Festive Attire? It will make people take notice not to wear something super sloppy, although it seems like the location itself calls for nicer attire.

http://fashion.about.com/cs/glossary/a/partydefinition.htm

tg_canada
07-28-2009, 07:13 PM
I doubt I'd show up to a child's 1st birthday party where what I was told what not to wear (or what to wear). Saying "bring a bathing suit, there's a pool" or "bring a sweater, it gets cool in the evening" is one thing, but stating "no flip flops or shorts" gets into the rude territory (unless of course it's a rule for the location. For example, a local play area requires that everyone has socks).

I would just give out enough info on the invite "come join us on the 20th floor of La Plaza to celebrate Child's 1st birthday! The view is gorgeous! A lunch buffet will be served along with wine and dessert." Then, let your guests decide what appropriate attire for the event is. If you must specify attire, specify what TO wear, not what NOT TO wear. So, like others have suggested, "cocktail attire" or whatever. But, not everybody knows what those definitions mean and people do interpret them differently. "Business casual attire" to my computer guys means "no rips in jeans or t-shirts". :D

gatorsmom
07-28-2009, 07:16 PM
I think this sounds neat! Whatever your invitation looks like, I'd put a line at the bottom saying "Business Casual/Cocktail Attire Please" (I've never been sure about what exactly "formal attire" meant, but admittedly I don't have much experience with those sorts of parties. ;)

If you want to allow other one-year olds, I'd maybe include some sort of comment about how you can accommodate them at that time of day (packnplays available for napping, please bring bibs we have highchairs and boosters for eating, etc.).

Have fun!

TwinFoxes
07-28-2009, 09:01 PM
PPs have good advice. I do think people would rather know before hand that they're expected to dress a little nicer than for the usual child's party. I also think the top floor of a building tells people it will be dressier than the average birthday party. I agree saying what to wear is better than what not to wear. Don't put "formal attire." It's not. Formal is a tux/dark suit or a gown. Think evening wedding. Even cocktail attire sounds not quite right, because you're not serving cocktails, and it's not in the evening. Business casual for a lot of women means trousers and blouses, rather than party dresses. (In my head, an ideal outfit for a woman would be a cute strapless dress, but I would never wear a strapless dress no matter how cute to a "business casual" function.)


Personally, I like "festive attire." It may not be perfect, but I think that, along with the location will clue people in. I love wearing party dresses, so I'd be sure to RSVP yes! :)

Happy birthday little one!!!

TwinFoxes
07-28-2009, 09:04 PM
Oh, one thing...there's bound to be someone who doesn't dress the way you want them to. DON'T let it ruin your day. They may feel bad because they're not dressed up, but just be gracious and enjoy the party! (Not saying you won't, but sometimes we all get obsessed with details and forget to let the little things go!) :)

JBaxter
07-28-2009, 09:08 PM
Oh, one thing...there's bound to be someone who doesn't dress the way you want them to. DON'T let it ruin your day. They may feel bad because they're not dressed up, but just be gracious and enjoy the party! (Not saying you won't, but sometimes we all get obsessed with details and forget to let the little things go!) :)


Thats what I was thinking. Bday parties have been very casual around here.

stella
07-28-2009, 09:53 PM
That sounds similar to the receptions we had after each of my children's Christenings - but attire was easy because we had all come from church. It's possible your wording could be "Lunch honoring the occasion of Tommy's first birthday" or something like that because the location and the meal and the decor are so much more formal than a typical child's first birthday. For example, my baby's 1st birthday was a big picnic in our yard with barbecue and potato salad and a jumpy house for the bigger kids and was definitely a neighborhood family affair, but yours is more of a grown-up party whose occasion is baby's birthday, so you will probably wan to find a way to convey the locationa nd the tone of the party without stating "no flip-flops or shorts". And tehn talk it up when people call to rsvp so they will realize that you intend this to be a luncheon/reception rather than a messy-cake-fest.

mytwosons
07-28-2009, 10:03 PM
That sounds similar to the receptions we had after each of my children's Christenings - but attire was easy because we had all come from church. It's possible your wording could be "Lunch honoring the occasion of Tommy's first birthday" or something like that because the location and the meal and the decor are so much more formal than a typical child's first birthday.

:yeahthat: I think calling the event a lunch reception in honor of your child's first birthday, will help get across the point it is fancier than a regular kids' party. But, I would still include something about festive attire.

1964pandora
07-28-2009, 10:23 PM
I agree with everything that's been said. State what you DO want, not what you DON'T want.

kijip
07-28-2009, 10:36 PM
If you are wearing a cocktail dress, then give your guests the chance to do so also. I see women in dresses or slacks with dressy tops and men in slacks and sport coats is the sort of setting (church clothes!) If an invite said casual and I showed up in my idea of casual and the hostess was in a nice dress, I would feel awkward. Say what you mean. Some people won't dress up, and don't let that bother you, but I think you'll get closer to nice/no shorts and flip flops if you put "Formal" or "Dressy" or "Festive". Casual DOES NOT equal nice dresses to me. And dressing in a dress significantly more formal than your guests is strange IMO. Business casual makes no sense to me since that would mean I was showing up for a party dressed for work- slacks, button down shirt, cardigan.

moonsky
07-28-2009, 11:42 PM
Thanks so much everyone. I really do like the wording "Lunch honoring the occasion of DC's first birthday. I am so excited about the party. Thanks!

dcmom2b3
07-28-2009, 11:42 PM
Call it a "luncheon" and use reserved/formal invitations --- "[Names of mom and dad] request the pleasure of your company at a festive luncheon in honor of DCs b-day. Date, X o'clock p.m. [name of dressy place]." In plain black script on ivory paper, those words send a "no flip-flops" message, KWIM?

I might even call it a bruncheon, but I'm not convinced that "bruncheon" is a real word, (and the OED online won't let me look that up w/o a subscription.)

I wouldn't try to define the dress in a postscript to the invite; none of the usual categories (bus. casual, formal, semi-formal, etc., seem to fit).