Do you think FFing him would help?

[KrisM]

DS2 is just over 1 and is 22 lbs. He's RFing and completely miserable right now. We are 4 hours into a 15 hour trip and I think it's separation from me tha t is the problem. If I tiwst around and put my hand on his head or if I sing, he's okay. Otherwise, he screams. I've sung twinkle twinkle about 200 times. If I knew it would fix this problem for this trip, I would turn him. he'd be back RFing tomorrow at home. WWYD?

[LMPC]

I might get flack for this....but I would FF him!! I know, I know, RF as loooong as possible, and it sounds like you will go back to RF when you get home. But, come on! Road trips suck for us big people....little people must really hate it!!!

Travel safely, no matter what you decide!

[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

DD hated RFing at this age too. Honestly, I put a DVD player back there and it helped a ton. Now, I am not advocating tv watching for little ones, but when all she did was scream her head off, I had to do something. Honestly, I am not sure FFing would have helped her. She absolutely hated to be restrained in anything (stroller, car seat, etc) so knowing that, I went the dvd player route.

Hope you find something that helps. I know how frustrating it is to drive with an upset baby.

[Clarity]

What's he riding in? DD2 is 10 months and I finally moved her into her sister's MA. She cried all the time in her SS and I had to do the same, twist around and stroke her forehead to sooth her. Not a lot of fun.
I wouldn't FF him, UNLESS you don't think it would be a problem to switch him back when you get home from your trip and can try other options. DD2 is much much happier in her MA - no more crying while riding and no more tantrums when we put her in the seat.

ETA: Oh and dd likes ABC's. That's what I sang for her to quiet her when she was screaming in the safeseat. I feel your pain.:)

[KrisM]

No DVD player :(. Other 2 kids are doing fine, just DS2 is a mess.

Maybe I'll switch him FFing at the next rest area and see how it goes. It can't be worse!

Generally, he's fine in the car, but we don't often do 15 hour trips! He was this way on the way out, too. Only 10.5 more hours...

[KrisM]

What's he riding in? DD2 is 10 months and I finally moved her into her sister's MA. She cried all the time in her SS and I had to do the same, twist around and stroke her forehead to sooth her. Not a lot of fun.
I wouldn't FF him, UNLESS you don't think it would be a problem to switch him back when you get home from your trip and can try other options. DD2 is much much happier in her MA - no more crying while riding and no more tantrums when we put her in the seat.

he's in a BV. I can't imagine it would really be a problem to change him back tomorrow. If I could just convince him to fall asleep, that would be good! We co-sleep at home and he's just not a happy camper right now :(. I feel really bad for him.

[1964pandora]

I would totally FF him and I'm an extended RF'er! I'd just FF him for your long trip. Yes, it's more dangerous to FF him, but it's statistically unlikely that you're going to get in an accident on this one trip where he is FF.

[Clarity]

How long realistically before he crashes for the night? I might be inclined to wait him out.
Is he still in the middle? DD2 is outboard passenger and I always just sat belted in with my back against the door and stroked dd2's head until she fell asleep. If that fails, you gotta do what you gotta do.

[wellyes]

I'm confused, why would FF help? Just to give him a change of pace?

A 15 hour car ride is miserable for ANYONE, I'm sorry you're going through it (although I am jealous of whatever technology it is you have that lets you post from the road, LOL).

Do you have any bedtime rituals that you could try to use to cue him that it's time to sleep? Give a bottle, recite "Good Night Moon", anything like that?

[Clarity]

I think it was mostly so he could see his momma and draw some comfort from that during the long trip.

[edurnemk]

DS is doing better since we switched to the Blvd, but he still gets upset on long trips, though. So if we know that it's a long trip, DH drives and I sit in the back with him.

No kid is going to be happy after 4 hours in the car, no matter which way they're facing. So take that into account, try to make frequent stops or drive mostly during naptime or at night.

FFing or Rfing is a personal decision. Personally, I would not turn him around, because if something did happen and he suffered an injury that would have been prevented by riding RFing, I could not live with that, it would be so unfair to him. That's what I always think when the thought of turning him to FF creeps into my mind.

On the other hand, I have a lot of friends who turned their babies to FF really young, and they've never had an accident. It's a matter of odds as well. And of course a properly secured child in FF is still a million times safer than an unsecured child. Whatever you decide, don't feel bad.

Good luck!

[KrisM]

I think it was mostly so he could see his momma and draw some comfort from that during the long trip.

Yes, that. I was thinking if he could see me, maybe it would help.

[KrisM]

DS is doing better since we switched to the Blvd, but he still gets upset on long trips, though. So if we know that it's a long trip, DH drives and I sit in the back with him.

No kid is going to be happy after 4 hours in the car, no matter which way they're facing. So take that into account, try to make frequent stops or drive mostly during naptime or at night.

FFing or Rfing is a personal decision. Personally, I would not turn him around, because if something did happen and he suffered an injury that would have been prevented by riding RFing, I could not live with that, it would be so unfair to him. That's what I always think when the thought of turning him to FF creeps into my mind.

On the other hand, I have a lot of friends who turned their babies to FF really young, and they've never had an accident. It's a matter of odds as well. And of course a properly secured child in FF is still a million times safer than an unsecured child. Whatever you decide, don't feel bad.

Good luck!

Three kids, 2 parents and a Malibu - I can't squish in the back, unfortunatley! we've been stopping every 1.5 or so hours. Six hours down now and it's dark. I think he's sleeping, so hopefully we get a couple of hours in before crying starts.

He's RFing now. If I did switch, it would be just to finish out the trip. He'd go back FFing. I think the same about an accident. Hopefully, we'll make it without it being too horrible.

[edurnemk]

We co-sleep at home and he's just not a happy camper right now :(. I feel really bad for him.

DS likes to toy with my hair, and that calms him down. If your DC is used to co-sleeping maybe if you sit beside him in the car and hold his hand, put his hand to his cheeck or lean a little forward so he can touch your hair, he'll feel more comfortable and go to sleep.
This of course if you're not the one driving...

[KrisM]

I'm confused, why would FF help? Just to give him a change of pace?

A 15 hour car ride is miserable for ANYONE, I'm sorry you're going through it (although I am jealous of whatever technology it is you have that lets you post from the road, LOL).

Do you have any bedtime rituals that you could try to use to cue him that it's time to sleep? Give a bottle, recite "Good Night Moon", anything like that?

I bought a netbook with a 9 hour battery and an air card from Verizon. Love it. It really helped me and DH stay awake on the 15 hour trip last week. We were looking up random things online to talk about and it was great!

Bedtime is currently a disaster. Bad. He would not sleep in the pack n play on vacation, so he would nap on my lap and wander around at night until he was good and tired adn then we'd both go to bed. It was not fun. I hope by the end of this week, he'll have a routine and schedule again. I'm glad we won't be making this trip for another year or so!

[brittone2]

Tough call. I have been 2 for 2 with car haters...mine got better around 18-24 months but wow, it was really, really bad before those ages (and they were both in Marathon/Decathlon type seats at the type...not infant carseats).

I am a big advocate of RFing, but I did try 1-2 trips w/ each kid FFing (like 30 minute car rides, nothing super long) when they were between 1 and 2 to see if it made a difference. In our case, it did not for either child, so back to RFing they went. And they did fine and eventually got better in the car (thankfully! Not good memories from me in that dept).

DS RF'd to 3.5 and DD is still RFing at 2.5. But they definitely improved by 18-24 months even w/ RFing.

I would admit to being tempted to try it...I totally understand how hard it is to have a kiddo unhappy in the car on long trips :( In our case it didn't matter (we also do not have a DVD player)

Best of luck.

[KrisM]

DS likes to toy with my hair, and that calms him down. If your DC is used to co-sleeping maybe if you sit beside him in the car and hold his hand, put his hand to his cheeck or lean a little forward so he can touch your hair, he'll feel more comfortable and go to sleep.
This of course if you're not the one driving...

I was twisting around putting my hand on his head and that was helping. He's behind the passenger seat. DH is driving. Two other kids in the back, so twisting from the front is the best I can do.

[KrisM]

Tough call. I have been 2 for 2 with car haters...mine got better around 18-24 months but wow, it was really, really bad before those ages (and they were both in Marathon/Decathlon type seats at the type...not infant carseats).

I am a big advocate of RFing, but I did try 1-2 trips w/ each kid FFing (like 30 minute car rides, nothing super long) when they were between 1 and 2 to see if it made a difference. In our case, it did not for either child, so back to RFing they went. And they did fine and eventually got better in the car (thankfully! Not good memories from me in that dept).

DS RF'd to 3.5 and DD is still RFing at 2.5. But they definitely improved by 18-24 months even w/ RFing.

I would admit to being tempted to try it...I totally understand how hard it is to have a kiddo unhappy in the car on long trips :( In our case it didn't matter (we also do not have a DVD player)

Best of luck.

I'm really hoping he'll sleep for a good while. He didn't fall asleep until nearly 10pm, and if he could get to 5 or 6, I would be really happy. If not, I might be reinstalling a carseat in the middle of Ontario!

On the way out, everytime we stopped the car, he would say "all done" over and over and just scream when we put him back in the car :(.

On the other hand, the 2 older kids have done great with no DVD player. I was very happy about that.

[Clarity]

Kris, I gotta hand it to you...a 15 hr drive in a Maxx with three kids is NOT a feat I would be willing to try. :bowdown: Next year, you gotta get a Chevy Traverse or Ford Flex or some other wonderful 3 row vehicle. American made, of course!

[edurnemk]

I was twisting around putting my hand on his head and that was helping. He's behind the passenger seat. DH is driving. Two other kids in the back, so twisting from the front is the best I can do.

OMG, I feel for you. I hope he's asleep and stays asleep now.

You are so brave for taking this trip! (Like one of the pp, my DS is terrible in the car, he can't take being in the carseat for more than 20 minutes. The thought of driving anywhere far stresses me out so much. I have terrible memories of car rides during the first year, seriously I can't look at the infant car seat without cringing.)


Good luck!

[brittone2]

I'm really hoping he'll sleep for a good while. He didn't fall asleep until nearly 10pm, and if he could get to 5 or 6, I would be really happy. If not, I might be reinstalling a carseat in the middle of Ontario!

On the way out, everytime we stopped the car, he would say "all done" over and over and just scream when we put him back in the car :(.

On the other hand, the 2 older kids have done great with no DVD player. I was very happy about that.

Hoping for the best for you and your little one. The car hating seriously was absolutely a horrible time for us :( The screaming. Oh, how I remember the screaming.

Safe travels...I'll be thinking of you!!!:hug:

[DrSally]

Not sure. Sometimes kids just cry b/c they're sick of being in the car. If it were me, I'd try any other distraction method and pray for sleep to come. I don't envy you for having such a long car ride.

[jent]

The car hating seriously was absolutely a horrible time for us :( The screaming. Oh, how I remember the screaming.


Yes. I know I also put up a post saying "help me keep her RF!" last summer. I think they just hate being strapped in and FF/RF would not matter. Seriously, I think the only thing that would help is earplugs.

And I agree, :bowdown: to you because DH and I have been afraid to do a car trip longer than 3hrs because of the memories of the screaming.

[KrisM]

Kris, I gotta hand it to you...a 15 hr drive in a Maxx with three kids is NOT a feat I would be willing to try. :bowdown: Next year, you gotta get a Chevy Traverse or Ford Flex or some other wonderful 3 row vehicle. American made, of course!

We've put 1500 miles on in 8 days so far. Car top carrier is stuffed full and so is the trunk! I still pretty much like the car, so probably not getting anything in the near future. We only do this trip once every year or two.

DS2 is not generally this bad in the car, thankfully. I think it's the combination of length of time, hour of night, etc.

We're nearing the halfway mark, so that is good. We will all be happy to unload sometime tomorrow morning :).

Thanks every one for the advice!

[JTsMom]

Hope the rest of the trip goes well. DS was a HUGE carseat hater for the longest time, and now he loves the car- weirdest thing. Turning him did help some, but it didn't 100% fix things for us.

[niccig]

DS likes to toy with my hair, and that calms him down.


Just a FYI if you ever need it. My DS was the same, always played with my hair and then it got to the point that he had to hold my hair ALL the time. He was about 12 months old and I couldn't do anything as he wanted my hair. Someone here pointed me to this web site.
http://www.loveybabies.com/

The lady makes dolls with either wig hair or your hair. I know it sounds really weird. I was desperate! I cut my hair, sent it to her and she made us a doll. As soon as we got it, DS took right to it, and he didn't need to hold my hair while grocery shopping etc. Nearly 4 years later, we still have the same lovey. He plays with the hair, runs his fingers through it, works it like worry beads.

Some people think we're weird to have done it, but I don't care. My DS needed something to help him calm down and only my hair would do it. Other people aren't phased by it, especially the preschool teachers, they say they've seen everything used as a lovey.

[KrisM]

Well, we left him. He slept until 2:30 or so. We walked him around and I nursed him. He went back to sleep and is still sleeping at 5:30. We're within an hour of home now, so things are looking good.

So glad I don't have to do this trip again soon.

[brittone2]

Well, we left him. He slept until 2:30 or so. We walked him around and I nursed him. He went back to sleep and is still sleeping at 5:30. We're within an hour of home now, so things are looking good.

So glad I don't have to do this trip again soon.

Wooohoo! You are going to need a massage, a glass of wine (if you drink ;) ) and another vacation to recover LOL. At least, that's how I always feel/felt after those trips!!

Glad you made it through. :hug: I totally understand how emotionally draining it can be to see your child go through that.

[KrisM]

Wooohoo! You are going to need a massage, a glass of wine (if you drink ;) ) and another vacation to recover LOL. At least, that's how I always feel/felt after those trips!!

Glad you made it through. :hug: I totally understand how emotionally draining it can be to see your child go through that.

Yes, to all of that! Add to the fact that he does NOT like to sleep in other people's houses, so I've held him for naps for a week and let him fall asleep at night on me. Then, we move to an air mattress for the rest of the night. I do need a massage. and some sleep! DH is napping now and I'm waiting for my turn.

[brittone2]

Yes, to all of that! Add to the fact that he does NOT like to sleep in other people's houses, so I've held him for naps for a week and let him fall asleep at night on me. Then, we move to an air mattress for the rest of the night. I do need a massage. and some sleep! DH is napping now and I'm waiting for my turn.

Hope you get some :54: and a :sleeping: very soon!

[caleymama]

Hope you get some :54: and a :sleeping: very soon!

Late to this post, but I had to say :yeahthat:. Glad you are home safe and sound.