PDA

View Full Version : 13-Month-Old Nap Nightmare



ntrainer
08-12-2009, 09:16 AM
OK, OK, so "nightmare" is overstating it, but here's what's up: Our little 13-month-old daughter is having sleep troubles. We put her to sleep around 6:30 or 6:45 p.m. She doesn't seem to go right to sleep but is out by 7:30 p.m. OK, so far, so good. Most nights, in fact, although she's awake for that last hour, she's babbling to herself and not screaming.

That being said, she wakes up at 6:00 a.m. AT THE LATEST, which in my book is too early. We've got a 5-year-old as well who I'm sure is getting woken up by the baby in the morning. I know I'm getting woken up (many mornings at 5:30 or 5:45 a.m.). While we have basically set the rule that we don't go into her room to say "good morning" until 6:30 a.m., it (a) doesn't help the rest of us get more sleep in the morning, and (b) doesn't seem to have "trained" her to wake up any later.

Anyway, to continue our saga, the baby used to take 2 naps of about an hour (sometimes an hour 15 minutes, sometimes 1-1/2 hours) per day. We put her down for the first one around 9:00 or 9:15 (depending on preschool/camp drop-off for the eldest), and for the second nap around 1:00 p.m. In the last few weeks, the baby is going down for the first nap relatively easily -- though screaming when put into the crib -- and sleeping a good hour and a half. But she doesn't fall asleep for the 2nd nap until around 1:45 or 2:00 p.m., despite our consistency in putting her down at 1:00 p.m.

When she wakes from that 2nd nap -- and it BARELY lasts an hour most days -- she's cranky and screaming. The afternoon is difficult for her, clearly, as she's clingy and needy.

DD is, in most ways, a very social and sweet-tempered baby, but I feel like we're obviously in this nether-region where two naps is too many but one nap is not going to be enough. And since she's waking up SO early in the morning, I really hesitate to drop that morning nap. If I can only get her to make it 'til 11:00 a.m. before she totally crashes, then won't she wake up at 1:00 p.m. and I'll have a VERY cranky baby by late afternoon? I don't know... I didn't really have to artificially get our older daughter to drop that 1st nap; she did it on her own (by talking/screaming through the hour 'til it was clear she didn't need that nap). But she also slept later in the morning. Not MUCH later, but 6:30 or 7:00 a.m.

I feel like I need to solve the problem of getting DD to sleep later and THEN I can tackle the nap issue. How do I do that? She's not responding to the "sleep training" efforts of just not going into her room 'til 6:30 a.m. Do I put her to sleep earlier? Or later? Or am I thinking of this all wrong? HELP!!

SnuggleBuggles
08-12-2009, 09:47 AM
With that early of a bedtime, she probably can't sleep much longer in the morning. 11-12 hours of night time sleep seems pretty reasonable. Have you considered shifting back the whole shebang to see if you can get a schedule that might work out better?

We have a late schedule here, later than suits the taste for a lot of people but it works for us. Our 20mo goes to bed around 9:30pm, wakes around 9am, naps around 2 but sometimes 3. We have had to wake him from his nap at 6. We still put him down at normal bedtime and he falls asleep pretty promptly. It's a bit strange to get him from his nap at dinner time and this is a newer trend. During the school year I had to have him up by 4 to get ds1 from school.

Just a thought to maybe move things back a smidge if wake up is earlier than you would like. Might not help as some kids are morning kids. Dark curtains and maybe treating that like the middle of the night (go in and say, "it's bedtime. shhh.") might help at 6am.

GL. I hope this is just a phase and things get easier.

Beth

arivecchi
08-12-2009, 11:21 AM
I agree with snugglebuggles. Push back her bedtime. She is actually sleeping a good amount at night. I would not expect her to sleep more than that.

ntrainer
08-14-2009, 06:10 AM
But isn't that counter to the Weissbluth advice (which has usually worked for us)? "Sleep begets sleep." So if we keep DD up later, we're going to get the SAME wake-up time, but she'll just be sleep-deprived. And then we'll be in this horrible cycle where it'll be impossible to get her to sleep because she'll be overtired.

That's my worry, anyway.

FWIW, yesterday she completely skipped the afternoon nap, so we put her to sleep at 6:00 p.m. (and she probably didn't go to sleep 'til 6:45). She was up approximately every 2-3 hours with a little "shout out." Nobody got good sleep. It's now 6:00 a.m. and she's up, up, up. ARGHHHHHHHHH.

SnuggleBuggles
08-14-2009, 07:18 AM
Sometimes the books are more trouble than they are worth. The best expert is you. I'm saying it is worth an experiment to see if you can reset her clock to a later wake up time. She isn't going to wake up later than she is now b/c of when you put her to bed. She probably can not sleep 12-14 hours at night so if you want a later wake up in the morning, the whole routine might need to get shifted back. Sleep does beget sleep but since you aren't sure if she is just a naturally early morning riser or not that was my thought on maybe getting her to sleep till 7+. Move things gradually and see how they go, if you want to give them a try.

Beth

KrisM
08-14-2009, 07:37 AM
I'd try moving the bedtime, but I think some kids are just early risers. We tried moving it for DS1 and he just is a 6-6:30 riser. Finally, this summer, he will sleep in if he stays up late, but he's 5 now.

As for naps, my 13 month old is transitioning to 1 nap now. His bedtime is 7:30 or so and he's up about 7am. He naps around 11:30 - 1 and sometimes does a short extra nap about 4:00. About twice a week he naps at 10:30-11:30 and then again around 2:30, but that pattern is going away as he's adjusting to the 1 nap.

egoldber
08-14-2009, 09:07 AM
I'd try moving the bedtime, but I think some kids are just early risers.

I agree. And I think that much nighttime sleep is about what Weissbluth says is normal for a 13 month old, it's just an earlier wake up than you would prefer. My younger DD wakes between 5:30 and 6:30 most days, so I feel your pain.

With the naps, I would go to one nap, but do it by pushing the morning nap later and skipping the afternoon nap. When Amy went to one nap, it was at 11/11:30 to 1 and then down for the night around 7.

ntrainer
08-18-2009, 02:06 PM
The last few nights we've managed to put DD down at 7 p.m. and there's much less fussing. I can't say that this is helping her sleep later in the morning -- at least not much. This morning she woke at 6:15 a.m. and that's been about normal for the past few nights. But I do feel like maybe there's hope we can get her to sleep later when we transition to one nap.

Stay tuned....

cestkaren
08-20-2009, 01:11 AM
My DS goes to bed at 7:30 pm and wakes up around 5:30 am, acutally he first wakes up around 4 am and is usually in bed with us by then, so I pat his back until he falls asleep. I usually do this a couple of times. I consider myself lucky if he doesn't get up until 6 am. The last couple of days, when he wakes up in the morning, he has been crawling over me and trying to get off the bed. Some kids are just early morning risers. I think it does make shifting to 1 nap harder unless they can stay awake for longer periods of time than other kids. I feel your pain!! I think it takes a week or a couple of weeks to see the outcome of shifting their bedtime. At least that's what I remember from those sleep training books. I've read them, but DS hasn't (he's 12-months), so I can't get him to act the way the books say he should!

ntrainer
08-21-2009, 02:39 PM
Today up at 5:00. ARGH!!!!! (Oh -- and she pooped during what should have been her afternoon nap, so it's now 2:40 p.m. and she's still not asleep. Going to have to get her at 3:00 p.m. anyway because we need to pick up our eldest daughter at camp.)

Mama said there would be days like this. TGIF.

ntrainer
08-23-2009, 06:45 AM
So... It's now been 3 days in a row that I've been awakened by a "shout out" at 5:00 or 5:15 a.m. I don't know whether DD is actually awake at this hour or not; we don't go to her until 6:30 a.m. Certainly by 6:15 or so she's up, as the babbling is audible past two doors.

Perhaps nothing can be done about this, but I feel like this "shout out" is being caused by the 7:00 bedtime. She still seems to need two naps, as we haven't forced the issue yet by just skipping the morning nap... so is it possible all of this early wake-up stuff is being caused not by the bedtime at all, but by having two naps? I know, I know, I'm grasping at straws... but, still: what do you all think?

neeleymartin
08-23-2009, 08:16 AM
contrary to bbb common practice, i still agree with weissbluth that sleep begets sleep. i would keep the earlier time. it is possible that you have an early riser. personally, i have, my whole life, been a very early riser. regardless of what time i go to bed. 6am is normal to me. i think it's a lot personality. weissbluth has a huge following. his book has provided us with excellent sleepers.

aniagara
10-14-2009, 09:52 PM
I just registered here for the first time after looking for advice on my just about 14 month old's naps.

Your post was SO reassuring! My little one has been a very good sleeper (ever since we ferberized him around 6 months). He's always been a little behind in terms of going to naps, then dropping the third nap - and he's been great in terms of total sleep - around 15 hours per day.

Since before 12 months, he goes to sleep between 6:30 and 7, and wakes up anywhere from 6-7 am, but lately 6 or 5:30. He started daycare right around 12 months, and his three hours of naptime a day quickly became 2 at daycare (1 hr in am, 1 in pm). It has gotten worse and worse and he is PSYCHOTIC when he comes home. Now, for the last couple of days, he'll take an am nap around 9 or 9:30 for about an hour - but then pretty much refuse to sleep in the afternoon, falling asleep finally at 4 PM! Two days ago I couldn't get myself to wake him up, and he slept until I had to get him up at 6 (he was out COLD). Today, DH picked him up and woke him up at 4:45 to take him home. Both nights he went to sleep as usual.

Weird thing is that on the weekends or when he's home, he seems to compensate by taking sometimes 4 naps and sleeping 3-4 hours in the day.

Today and yesterday he really wasn't that crazy when he came home - (ie cranky, tired, crying) - so I was thinking he is starting to transition to one nap - but I really don't think so -

Daycare is a good one, and they aren't concerned about him and think he'll do what he needs to do. We've suggested everything we can think of.

Any other thoughts?

Thanks!

Ann