How to get 4 month old to nap?

[gavsmompa]

I am trying everything. I put her down after I see a second yawn. She fusses & fidgets a little and it looks like she may fall asleep but then starts crying. I'll come in and pat her on the back and she quiets down and then I'll walk out and the process starts all over again as she will begin to cry again. I tried today for 30 minutes and it did not work. I finally had to whip out the breast, calmed her down for about 5 minutes and then popped in the paci. She finally fell asleep. I know it's not good habit to get into but nothing else worked. How do you get your baby to nap at this age? I know she is too young for Ferber.

[neeleymartin]

the day that our ds turned 4 mos. we did cio. (cry it out) it has been successful for both our boys. we followed weissbluth (which i believe is quite similar to ferber, 4 mos is okay to let them cry according to weissbluth)

look for the sleepy signs, put them in the crib and let them work it out. we are willing to let ds cry for an hour (weissbluth rec.) usually it's only about 5 minutes these past few days. initially it was much longer. if you want to do cry it out, find something to do outside (where you can't hear all the screaming) or color your hair (that way you're out of comission for a while), paint your nails, blast some music on the ipod.

we have had amazing success with both our guys and i don't regret cio whatsoever. very hard at first, but the payoff is HUGE. our ds2 is taking 3 naps a day ( 7:30am for about 45 minutes, 10:30am for about 45 minutes, 1pm for about 2.5 hours) then off to bed at 5:30 until the morning, generally 6-6:30am.

sounds like you might want to try cry it out. it is not too early. not trying to push you, just inform you. hth.

[KarenLud]

I've got a 4 month old DS who isn't much a fan of naps either! Do you have a swing? Usually, not always, but he will sleep in there. Our morning routine goes something like this: after he wakes he usually eats, I change him and we play a little one on one then I put him down for a little independent play like in his bouncy seat or play gym (this lasts for about 20-30 minutes usually) then he starts to have this sound he makes-not a cry per say but his cooing goes to a more agitated sound and then I put him in the swing where he usually is still awake but will doze off for 30-45 minutes. He is a cat napper for the most part. Usually 1-2 cat naps then a longer 2-3 hour nap in the late afternoon. I also give him a paci if he is having a hard time. We are transitioning into trying to get him to have his longer nap in his crib. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I will usually give it 30 minutes or so of fussing (we dont' do cio) where I'll go in every 10 minutes or so and rub his belly or reset his aquarium thing. If he doesn't fall asleep in about 30 minutes, I pick him up and nurse him (if it's getting close to that 3 hour since his last meal time) and he usually ends up sleeping in my arms or the swing. I know. Bad habit. But ultimately, my goal is for him to sleep. I am consistent with trying the crib so I'll just keep at it until it works. He does sleep in his crib all night so I'm not too worried about it right now. My favorite sleep book is the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Oh yeah, and sometimes I'll put him in the ergo carrier and he'll nap that way too and I can still get some things done. Good luck to whatever you decide!

[BeachBum]

I think you are doing the right things...and her behavior is pretty typical. You may want to put her down before that second yawn (at the first, or sleepy signs before that). Also try watching the clock to see about how long she is staying awake before exibiting the sleepy signs. That can help you figure out when she should be getting tired. For example, my boys need to be put down about 1.5 hours after waking in the morning. But can stay awake a bit longer between the first and second nap.

My Ped suggested a book called "No cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley. We are doing it now. It is not a "quick fix", but it is a more gentle method than CIO.

I think right now at four months is the time to be most consistent with trying to get them to fall asleep on their own and in their crib. I waited a bit too long because of some other issues going on (food allergies, reflux etc) and am paying for it! My guys are 6 months and can sit up and stand up in their cribs! They still want to nurse to sleeep....I wish I would have started NCSS earlier.

[Piglet]

At that age what I started doing was keeping a journal of eating/naps/etc. It really helped me see what times of day the kids were fussy and it helped me put them down BEFORE they were obviosuly tired. I think that is a big thing - getting them into bed and wound down before they are too tired. It is one thing to put them down when they are tired and another to start the whole routine when they are tired. By the time you finish the routine they might already be at over-tired, ykwim? So for example, all my kids without fail napped within 2 hours of waking up in the morning. Knowing this info, I always did some pre-nap relaxing stuff 1 hour and 45 minutes befoer nap time. Then again, I knew they would sleep 2 hours after waking up from the nap, so again 1 hour 45 was the key. Obviously each kid is different, but mine always followed this 2 hour rule. Had I started the wind down at 2 hours past, then they would have finished up 2 hours 15 minutes later and they would be overtired.

[elektra]

My DS is about 3.5 months and I had been really bad about putting him in his crib for naps while I was out on maternity leave. (I basically just held him or had him in a carrier for naps. But when the nanny started last week it was apparent we needed a new system!
What has worked for the past few days is to put DS down at the very first sign of fussiness or tiredness OR 2 hours from his last wakeup time- whichever comes first.
And then we have this Fisher-Price aquarium music box thing that attaches to the crib that we turn on for him to look at when he's in the crib.
You may want to skip the music thing as I think that's a no-no per Weissbluth but it has been working for us and I am willing to break the rules on this part of the nap routine.

[gavsmompa]

Thanks everyone. What's the difference again btw Weissbluth & Ferber? I thought the recommendations are now 6 months of age? I try to have her nap in her crib whenever possible. It's difficult at times if I need to leave the house let's say to drop off or pick up my DS from camp and it's right at her nap time. She has no problem sleeping in the car though.

[neeleymartin]

Thanks everyone. What's the difference again btw Weissbluth & Ferber? I thought the recommendations are now 6 months of age? I try to have her nap in her crib whenever possible. It's difficult at times if I need to leave the house let's say to drop off or pick up my DS from camp and it's right at her nap time. She has no problem sleeping in the car though.

if the new recs are 6mos. my boys are screwed. oh well. not much i can do now..oh yeah...sleep. :wink2:

[SkyrMommy]

You're definitely not alone. My four month old is currently upstairs crying her eyes out... She used to go down for an afternoon nap quite well, slept and then was up and ready to go after about 1 1/2 to 2 hours of sleep.

Now I am trying to let her cry it out. NOT easy... I sometimes want to sit on the stairs in front of her room and cry too. Every once and a while I go in longer and longer time periods in between to tell her she's ok with a kiss.

She's great for the a.m. up at about 6a.m. and then around 8:30 we start a quiet nursing, reading and she goes down for the a.m.... but the afternoon is terrible. This has only started in the last week or so and if she doesn't sleep she's so unhappy in the evening. Sigh... sometimes her whole 'nap' time is spent crying and/or fussing.

We're trying... any other ideas to help would be great...

[gavsmompa]

I think the problem with DD is she doesn't know how to sooth herself yet and I have to say I am partially at fault. For the evening routine, I let her suck on a pacifier and when I put her down in the crib, she'll suck on it for a while and then minutes later I'll hear her crying and go in and find that she's spit it out. I do stick it back in her mouth and she does calm down. Sometimes I'll have to go in 2-3 times within 10 minutes until she is finally asleep. Once she is asleep, I don't hear from her until morning. I am thinking I should stop "plugging" her up and let her cry it out or should I just continue to do what works?

As far as naps go, I did get her to take a 45 minute this morning but the afternoon naps are tough. I let her cry for about 30 minutes (with going in a few times to pat her on the stomach) but she just screamed bloody murder and then I just gave up and said I would try later. It is just so frustrating b/c you know they are tired and need the nap and also hard on you to hear all the crying.

[neeleymartin]

She's great for the a.m. up at about 6a.m. and then around 8:30 we start a quiet nursing, reading and she goes down for the a.m.... but the afternoon is terrible.

could she be overtired from getting to nap too late in the am? i know that both my boys would go back to sleep only 1.5 hours after wake up time. that would make your time 7:30am. maybe by the afternoon she is just too tuckered out to sleep.

also is she taking 3 naps or 2? not sure when they drop the 3rd nap (the middle one). but our guy sleeps from 730-9 then 1030-1130 and then finally from 1-3. then off to bed at 530pm until 6am. these are all approximate times. the evenings are definitely sooo hard for our guy. i swear he would go down for the night at 5pm if i let him.

not sure any of this helps. i have read much on sleep and still feel like such a novice. the most valuable advice was weissbluth, "sleep begets sleep". in other words the more they sleep, the more they will sleep. we have found this to be true with both of our boys.

[alexmommy]

I'm there too. My DS will be 4 months next week and doesn't nap well. The nights are fabulous--a 12 hour stretch with 1 or 2 feedings, but he doesn't do daytime naps well. The only thing that seems to help is nursing him to sleep (I know, not supposed to, but it works--sometimes).

On a typical day he'll wake up at 9AM, have a 30 min-1hr nap around 10:30, then fall asleep after eating at 1PM (but wake up when I put him in his crib), fall asleep after eating at 4PM (and probably wake up when in crib), and then asleep by 8PM, eat at 5AM, go back to sleep, eat at 9AM, repeat. Next week I may try CIO. Yesterday I tried for 30 min to help him get an afternoon nap, to no avail.

Fwiw, my mom says I was not a good napper either. I wonder if his nighttime sleep is enough for him, but everything I've read says he should have 2-3 naps. (If only he could read!)

Sorry to sound ignorant, but other than fussiness and yawning, are there other tired signs I should watch for? Any advice would be welcome. TIA

[Piglet]

Sorry to sound ignorant, but other than fussiness and yawning, are there other tired signs I should watch for? Any advice would be welcome. TIA

I remember the BabyWhisperer saying that babies give you 3 yawns. Try to catch that 1st yawn. By the 2nd you are in a bit of trouble. By 3 they are over-tired. Sounds a bit crazy but I always used to watch for the 1st yawn and then "do not pass go" run to the baby's room to start the wind down (a quick one). If we were really in the right place and the right time, I even started the wind down before the 1st yawn and then it was great!