living will?

[justincase]

Is anyone willing to share the text (or the general idea) of their living will? We need to meet with the atty to make some changes to our will, and I know he is going to hassle us (again) about not having a living will. But all the boilerplate examples I've seen are essentially DNR's, which doesn't feel right at this point. Most of my friends IRL don't have wills and think we're over-the-top at being prepared (??) and thus are no help. I know this is intensely personal and individual so my gratitude would be huge -- I am just looking for a starting point, something to get DH's and my talks kick-started before we see the atty. TIA!

[lizzywednesday]

What state are you in? Forms are pretty much the same from state-to-state, but you might want to check your state gov't/court system's website for forms, which will usually be in PDF format ... and available for free.

(I work in legal publishing and used to do a lot with estate planning & probate products when I started in the business 8 years ago.)

If your state court system's website is too confusing, try a service like FindLaw. I think its content is a mix of free & pay, but I don't use it ... I have access to my company's DB for free as a perk of working there.

[Jacksonvol]

Most living wills DO just deal with DNR issues. If you want something that delegates decision making, ask about a Healthcare Power of Attorney. We have one of each and they compliment each other. A living will is helpful for end of life issues, but it does nothing for things like delegating decision making when you are in surgery or are unconscious or are in a coma but not terminal.

When I was doing estate planning I would fuss at people who did not want to do a living will. The odds that you will ever need it are tiny, but the stress it can save your loved ones is huge.

[justincase]

Thanks for the replies. We already have the General Durable POA which includes healthcare decisions. (We are in CT.) I have the standard living will form that the atty wanted us to sign. And I do understand why he is making an issue about it, really I do. But (and this is really unlike me) it just seems so creepy and icky. The language bothers me. I think I'm making it a bigger deal than it needs to be partially because I'm *bothered* that it bothers me, KWIM? Like, why am I not being more pragmatic about this? Oh well, as another poster said on another thread recently, according to DH I always need *something* to fret over, so this can be the Fret Of The Week around here.

[hillview]

I thought this website had a good form. I am using it for my grandma. YMMV.
http://www.doyourproxy.org/index.php
/hillary

[nrp]

If it helps at all with your decision making, I often tell clients (I do estate planning) that you aren't required to "turn in" your advanced directive/living will when you check into the hospital, or ever, for that matter, and if they ask for it when you are admitted then you can just decline to answer the question. Generally, the person who you name as your medical agent under your power of attorney would be the one with access to the advance directive, and that person generally wouldn't have to "use" it unless she or he believed that it would be in your best interest. In the usual case, if your spouse is your medical agent, he would be authorized to make all of your medical decisions for you in the event you weren't able to make them yourself, and if the worst happened and he was in the position to have to make an end-of-life decision, then he would have the advance directive as a reassurance that he would be following your wishes.

Not sure if this really speaks to your "icky" feelings, but it should be some comfort that the decision wouldn't likely be ultimately in the hands of doctors but rather with someone you trust.