DS wants to touch me all the time. Normal?

[mommysammi]

DS is 4.5 yo. He is always asking me to let him touch my bare arm. Then he pulls up his shirt and rubs his bare belly on my arm. He also hugs me in the weirdest way, thrusting his lower body against mine. I'm very uncomfortable with this. He is always trying to touch my upper body private parts too. Is this a phase or do I need to see a professional about this? A freudian thing? Please tell me I'm not alone in this, please. Oh, he doesn't do this to any other female or male adult or kid, just to me. TIA.

[mamica]

I'm so glad you posted this. I don't have any advice, but I've been wondering about a similar situation with my 4 year old. I am always very affectionate (hugs & kisses) with my kids, but not in any inappropriate way, but I'm starting to wonder if I should hold back a little.

I'm curious, too, to see if anyone has btdt insight.

[ett]

DS2 is only 2.5, but he also likes to touch me in the chest area while he sucks his thumb when I'm holding him. I did BF him until 21 months so I'm thinking that's why he does it and he finds it comforting. I'm interested in hearing from others too.

[pinkmomagain]

OMG....My 3.5 yo dd is obssessed with my belly (my very stretched out floppy belly). She loves to squish it, rub her arms against it, put her cheeks next to it, and sometimes lift her shirt and put her belly against it. It started after she weaned (I guess sometime after 1 yo). I just assumed she wanted to continue that skin contact. She finds it very comforting, but I find that she does it alot for warmth! Sometimes when we are out and if she is sitting on my lap, she tries to lift my shirt to get to my belly. I struggle with her and explain that it's something she can do at home, but not at a restaurant!

I did worry it about it for awhile....I even stopped laying in bed with her to fall asleep at night because I felt like it was helping her fall asleep and I thought it was a habit we needed to break. I have noticed that as she's gotten older, it has lightened up quite a bit.

So glad to read that we're not the only ones!!!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

A phase. My ds went through it right at 5yo. He just wanted to be so close. He'd kiss my arm and just be close. He was good at respecting boundaries and didn't touch my private parts.

For us it lasted maybe a summer, with a peak of about 2 weeks where it seemed like he was always doing it. It might not have even lasted that long. Things went back to normal. I personally wouldn't start worrying. Just set up some boundaries if you need to.

Beth

[alexsmommy]

It's normal. If he touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, use it as a teaching moment about personal space, "private parts" and telling you if someone touches him in a way that he is not comfortable with. Kids this age do not have a sense of sexuality, but they do have a sense of what feels good to them and what feels reassuring (ie rubbing your belly). Gently redirect his hand if you are uncomfortable saying, "Mommy likes her tummy to be private, but you can touch her arm" etc. He'll outgrow it quickly enough and then you'll be shocked that you were posting about this at all when he doesn't want a kiss goodbye in front of his friends.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I'm glad to read this thread too. My 3.5yo DS has been "petting"(his word) my breasts since he stopped nursing just past 3yo. It's definitely slowed down a bit with the "private" talk but he still loves telling me how he loves "his milks on mommy's body" every chance he gets.

[babybunny]

DS (4 years) stopped nursing over a year ago. But he loves to sneak a touch of the boobies - now he calls them bubbies because he is not supposed to say boobies. It gets worse when he is sick or tired. It is definitely a comfort thing, but sometimes he does it knowing it drives me crazy. When he is perfectly well - he loves to tease DH by rubbing his ear lobes. Drives him nuts.

[tarahsolazy]

My 5 yo does this as well, and its developmentally very normal, as Alaina said. I just re-direct him, calling him out gently for every touch that is uncomfortable to me. (mostly if he's trying to touch my breasts, lol). I just say, "that's a private part, and I don't want you to touch me there. you can touch my belly instead." or whatever. We're working hard on "everybody gets to decide about their own body" as it pertains to this, and also wrestling games, in your face games, etc.