8 month old napping nightmare

[ArizonaGirl]

My child won't nap and it is driving me insane... Here is our schedule...

Bedtime 7:45 or 8:00
Wakes at 5:00 to eat back down to 6:30 - 8:30

Here's where it gets dicey, we tried a scheduled naptime where he is put in his crib when he should be sleepy and is showing sleepy signs and that didn't work (we did CIO and he would cry for 45 min to an hour then sleep for 20 or 30 minutes and start over again).

So we decided that instead of a scheduled naptime we would let him be the guide and then he would fall asleep after nursing or when rocking then lay him down. That worked well (at least no screaming), but he will only sleep for at most 45 min to an hour and usually only 30 minutes and he will not go back to sleep.

This is driving me crazy because I never have any time to myself to get things done, and it is bad because he is so obviously not getting enough sleep, he has bags under his eyes.

I have Weissbluth and didn't find it to be very helpfull and we have the Happiest Baby on the Block CD but that doesn't help much either.

Please help us!!!

[sidmand]

Is he sitting or crawling or walking? DS didn't take a nap AT ALL (even though he was obviously tired) from about 3 months to 7 1/2 months when he started sitting up and then it got much better when he started crawling and using up more energy.

The only other thing I was thinking is that 7:45/8:00 seems like kind of a late bedtime for an 8-month-old, especially one who isn't napping. Have you tried an earlier bedtime and did that make any difference?

I know DS was strange in that he wasn't napping, but at that point, bedtime was probably around 5:00 or 6:00!

It isn't fun when they don't nap (when they get older too and need a nap, like now!!!) and I totally symphasize (emphathize?) with you!

Hope it gets better soon.

[wellyes]

I think scheduled, consistent naps are VERY very good for a child that age. Having said that, I'm still terrible at getting DD to go to sleep. She wants to be with me, she hates sleeping!

DD slept *great*, falls to sleep easily at daycare (peer pressure LOL).

She can also fall asleep if her dad put her to bed. Here is his successful nap routine for a kid who hates sleeping (*warning, takes a little while):

He darkens the rooms and gives her milk. By the time she's done, his eyes are adjusted to the dark. I have some photos up on the wall and some pictures of animals. They go around the room together saying "goodnight grammy, goodnight lion, goodnight zebra...." Then he stands next to her crib and holds her and puts a blanket across her back. She puts her head on his shoulder. After a minute of snuggling, she gestures that she wants into the crib. He puts her down and rubs her back and goes "shhhhh shhhh shhhhhh" for a few minutes. Then, instead of leaving the room, he lies down on the floor. (Usually it is hearing the adult leave that triggers her to cry). He uses this time to do his Pilates abs work because he's waaaaaay more ambitious than I am. When her breathing is even, she's napping and he leaves! Usually she stays down for about 2 hours, but it can be as little as 1 or as much as 3.

The above doesn't work for me. She loves it when I do it, but when it comes to tranferring her to the crib she just starts giggling and wants to hug me over and over.

My technique? Put her in a mei tai and walk around until she zonks out, then transfer her to the crib. A flawed method, but it works & actually lets me get a few things done instead of spending the afternoon working on napping.

[mecawa]

That was DD#1 for me!!!!!!!!!! She didn't nap (at all) from the time she was 3 months until 8 months. At 8 months she started crawling and I think it started to wear her out because she suddenly would nap. She was an excellent night sleeper, she would sleep 7-7 from 2 months on but would not sleep during the day. We tried scheduled naps (I am very schedule oriented person) and nothing until 8 months. At 8 months, when I would see sleep signs I would put her in the chair next to me, turn off the TV and lights, and give her her giraffe (lovey), and she would fall asleep in 20 minutes. I would then put her in the crib. I did the same in the afternoon. We did that for a while and once the routine was VERY established, I started just putting her in her crib at nap time, and it worked.

I know it's frustrating because I couldn't get anything done around the house with her either, now I have another who is an excellent napper!!!

[boolady]

I know you said you didn't find Weissbluth to be helpful, but I think the most important thing I learned from him is the whole sleep begets sleep thing. It sounds to me like, as Sidmand suggested, he needs to go to be earlier. I also think that you may need to try putting him down but do some things to help him get drowsy. Darken the room, read to him a bit, rock him for a bit, and sing to him. Not because that will help him fall asleep, but will help him get him in the mindframe of laying down in his crib. I think even if he only sleeps for 30-45 minutes, as DD often did at that age, the routine will help guide him. JMHO. Good luck.

[KrisM]

I also answered on your other thread.

But, I think 45 minute naps is very typical for that age. Mine did 3 or 4 short naps until at least 9 months. DS2 is 13 months now and just within the past month or so started doing a 45 minute morning and a 1.5 hour afternoon nap. On days that he only naps once, it's closer to 2 hours. But, this is recent.

I could also see that the late bedtime might not help, too.

[okinawama]

my son, 5.5 months is doing the same thing. He goes down very easy (when he's truly tired), i lay him down and walk away and usually he soothes himself. However, at 35-40 minute mark he is awake and "talking"/playing, where I leave him another 15 minutes. You get a million things started and no one thing finished. I have no idea what to do, but know that you're not alone. I'll be watching to see what others say as well!

[MimiSirois]

Could he have any food intolerances/allergies?

My now 7yo DD was like that. Oh, how awful it was! Turned out she had undiagnosed reflux.

It passed, though, and life got easier after she turned 1 and especially after about 18 mos when she switched to 1 afternoon nap.

HTH,
Michele

[BeachBum]

I know you said you read HSHHC, and it wasn't helpful. But I really do feel like he has the best advice out there. You might want to try implementing his suggestions again. Just read the age applicable section.
So it would be an earlier bed time, a wake up time between 6-7, nap time around 9, then again around 1 pm. It has something to do with those times working with natural biorhythms and the easiest time to fall asleep. If he is overtired, he may not be able to make it to 1 pm to nap and in that case I would do about 2 hours after the 1st nap wake up time. My boys who are 7 months can't make it to 9 to nap and they go down about 1.5 hours after waking for the day.
Weissbluth says that 45-1 hour is a nap. That is what my boys do/did while they were still doing 2 or 3 naps per day. Then when they moved to 1 nap, it made life easier for me! b/c he would sleep 2 or 3 hours.

HTH

[catcombs]

I have an almost 7 month old and he only naps for 30-45 minutes too. He will take 2-3 naps but he just isn't a great napper. My DD was like this too - it wasn't until she was about 1 years old and went down to 1 nap a day that she finally would nap for 2 hours. My DS1 would nap for hours at a time and it was awesome. I just think some kids are better nappers than others. It is very exasperating though and I definetly feel your pain. 30 minutes feels like nothing- certainly not enough time to get anything done!

[gatorsmom]

I don't have much time to reply and haven't read the other responses. Have you tried a white noise machine in his room? Maybe it's TOO quiet for him. It sounds like he sleeps well at night but not during the day. Does his room need to be darker during the day to sleep? That was Greenbean's problems. I hung dark sheets over the windows and he sleeps like a champ now.

Sorry you are dealing with this. It's so hard.

[okinawama]

those of you that are saying that your kid slept like this for a while, did you stay at home for most of the day? I feel like when he is taking naps at least 3 times a day it really keeps me tied to my house all day. I just came back from the zoo, and of course it was during one of my sons many "naps", I feel bad taking him out during that time, and ultimately feel that it's not helping me get him to be a better napper, but at the same time I can't stay in this house all day long all the time. What did you do?

[mommyp]

DD went through a phase like this at that age too, I agree it coincides with big actions like sitting and crawling. She was taking 3 shorter naps (45 min or 1 hr at most) and bedtime was around 7:30 I think. Her first nap was pretty early, definitely within 2 hours of waking up. I completely sympathize...it *was* hard to get things done or get out anywhere, but honestly it passed, like all stages do. I tried to time our outings to between naps 1/2 or 2/3. They tended to be nearby activities, like walk to the park, or library storytime. I figure an occasional stroller nap for a longer outing like the zoo is worth it though.

[slworld]

To original OP you almost exactly described my DS at that age. He has always been a lousy napper. He never slept more than 30mins at a time (45min-1hr was very rare). At that age he woke up between 6:30-7am. Then we would put him down for his first nap at around 9am (had to rock him to sleep & then transfer him into the crib). He would nap for maybe half hour. Then his 2nd nap was at 12:30pm, 3rd at 4pm and finally bedtime at 7:30pm. All naps were only for 30mins & he had to be rocked to sleep. He was pretty cranky if he didn't go down for those naps though he slept for only 30min each time. Then he switched to 2 naps at 9am and 2pm and we moved up his bedtime to 6:30pm. He did suffer from reflux and was on medication. Then at around 8 or 9months he started crawling and I guess he was more tired from the increase in activity and then he started taking 2 1hr naps. He is now almost 14months old and in daycare and takes only 1nap for about 1.5hr while all the other kids sleep for 3hrs. He is asleep by 7:30pm. Guess he still needs 2naps (he takes 2 on weekends) but at daycare he won't sleep when all the other kids are awake.

Like some of the PPs mentioned routine is important IMO. We stuck with the routine even though he didn't nap for long. I was lucky in that MIL was living with us from when DS was 3months old to 9months old so there was someone always home to put him down for naps on time (both DH & I work fulltime). I am not sure if I was of much help but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Even today DS is a bad napper compared to all the other kids his age that we know since they all take 2-3hr naps at a time.

[gatorsmom]

those of you that are saying that your kid slept like this for a while, did you stay at home for most of the day?

Yes. Even now, while the twins are napping in the afternoon, the older boys(6yo and 4yo) and I usually stay home. I will take the baby monitor outside so they ride their bikes outside but that's the extent of it. I try to schedule activities AROUND the twin's afternoon naps. If I have to go somewhere with them, I'll bring a very comfortable double stroller, lay them back with their bottle, put a bug net over the entire stroller and proclaim "lights out." Then I expect them to nap in their stroller. Gator and Cha Cha used to be much better at this. The twins are not as good about napping in the stroller because I'm home much more with them. Or the babysitter is.

In the long run, it's such a short time that they are napping and keeping you tied to home. I just try to enjoy this time while they are little.