Could use some hugs, good vibes, prayers

[Kymberley]

I know I've posted a few threads the past couple of days on how to deal with DS and his sleeping, but tonight is awful. He is colicy, NOTHING will sooth him. He has been SCREAMING non stop for 2 hours. He won't nurse, he won't calm down at all. I don't know what to do. Please tell me I'm not a horrible mother...

[s_gosney]

I'm so sorry. Of course you are not a horrible mother. :hug:

I don't know how old your ds is...

Have you tried the blow dryer? I know it sounds crazy, but it worked for my DCs (a la Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block).

Good luck and sleepy vibes your way.

[rlu]

Not a horrible mother at all. I used to sing the Star Spangled Banner when DS fussed - didn't work very often but sometimes that higher register seemed to either soothe (or shock as I don't sing well) him into silence.

It is so hard when babies are young (not sure how old your DC is but assuming an infant), it's late, you are tired and stressed, the baby is tired and stressed, everyone in the house (including the animals) is stressed, and it seems like it will NEVER end. But, it will.

It will, it will, it will.

Prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.

[strollerqueen]

Whiskey? :D You, not him, haha! Just reminded me because once, one of my babies was teething and screaming in agony. My Dad said "Why don't you just rub some whiskey on the gums? That's what we always did." Spoken like a true Irishman! :love5::love-retry:

[Kitten007]

BIG HUG!!! YOU ARE A GREAT MOM! A not-so-good mom wouldn't care. Hang in there!

[jgenie]

:hug: Hang in there - I hope he settles soon!

[Happy 2B mommy]

Hang in there. you are a great mom. I don't know how old your DS is, but I find skin to skin contact on his belly helps - I lay him either on my belly or thighs.

[AngelaS]

Been there and survived. If he won't settle, it's okay to lay him in the crib, shut the door and walk away for 5 minutes.

You did say you're giving up dairy, right? Give it a few days and see if that makes a difference. You might be very surprised! Praying that's the case for you. :)

[JTsMom]

:hug: I am sure you are a wonderful mother! Some babies are just really high needs. Mine certainly was! I haven't seen your other threads that are being referenced here, but I'll second Happiest Baby On The Block. Have you tried a side to side swing? Mine saved my sanity. Soft music also helped, as did dim lighting in the evenings, warm baths (it had to be in the big tub with me holding him though, and with very little light) and bouncing gently on a yoga ball. Don't what you've already tried, but just I'd mention it all just in case.

This phase really won't last forever, I promise.

[ThreeofUs]

It's not you! And, really, it's not him either. He just has some needs that he can't tell you about except by screaming.

HBOTB, swings, warm baths, gentle gentle bounces, massages all help.

If you're giving up dairy, and that's his problem, it'll only take a little while to work. You might also think about highly acidic foods.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Poor babes. You are Not a horrible mother! These things happen. Go to the ped and hopefully you can find out the source of the problem. It could be an ear infection, reflux...none of those are your fault. Oh, and always remember to check the foot of their PJs or socks if this happens because sometimes a thread or hair can get in there and wrap around a toe. I always check before putting things on to make sure there is nothing loose in there. But, it's always worth a check with crying in the night.

(((((hugs)))))

Beth

[boolady]

This WAS my DD and it WILL get better. I know it stinks now, but it will change soon and you are not a bad mother by any means.

[Kymberley]

Thank you all so much for your encouragment! He finally did settle at 4:30 this a.m. That wasn't his worst night, but I think it was mine. I was already exhausted from the night before and had just about reached a breaking point. If DH didn't have to be at work at 7 this a.m. I would have handed him off, but at night, it's all me. I've been saying this a lot lately, I just didn't realize that parenthood would be this hard (at least at first). I'm definitely cutting dairy TODAY. :D A big THANK YOU again!

[ThreeofUs]

Just a quick thought. Whenever my DSs screamed like this, I tried to think what I had eaten from 3-5 hours before. Didn't help with DS1, who had DH and I on 4-hour shifts for months because of a screaming/not sleeping reflux issue, but did help a lot with DS2.

I know it's hard to remember, especially when you're so extremely sleep deprived that nothing's sticking in your short-term memory, but it might help you pinpoint a dietary issue.

Hugs and good luck!

[Nooknookmom]

Just a quick thought. Whenever my DSs screamed like this, I tried to think what I had eaten from 3-5 hours before. Didn't help with DS1, who had DH and I on 4-hour shifts for months because of a screaming/not sleeping reflux issue, but did help a lot with DS2.

I know it's hard to remember, especially when you're so extremely sleep deprived that nothing's sticking in your short-term memory, but it might help you pinpoint a dietary issue.

Hugs and good luck!


Eating had a lot to do w/ DD2's sleep issues, she was a refluxer & allergic to all dairy/soy. We spent ALOT of nights with BOTH of us crying. Seriously. I was at my wits end some nights.

W/ DD2 holding her close/wearing her helped drift her off to sleep (but getting her off me and down on the bed woke her right back up). DD1 was a bounce-to-sleep girl. Easy as pie. Until she woke back up, lol.

You are doing great and it will get better!!!

[niccig]

DS did that one weekend. I had to sleep in a chair holding him upright. Turns out he had reflux. Make an appt to see your ped and see if it is something like an ear infection/reflux.

Try to get some sleep today during naps. Don't clean or do other things. Sleep when she sleeps. You need to rest too.

[Indianamom2]

First, :hug:

Second, this sounds like the first 3 months of DD #1's life (and mine). It was a nightmare that I never wish to repeat and my biggest fear with having a second. We all did survive, somehow, and I have a very healthy happy nearly 5 year old. (But this explains the almost 5 year difference in their ages!)

Third, if you haven't tried giving up dairy (I think you were the one I responded to yesterday) try it. It might help some.

Fourth, it's okay to lay the baby down and walk away for 5-10 minutes, preferably where you can't hear the baby crying. Baby will survive and you get to compose yourself a little bit. I can't tell you how many times I had to do this...usually I was sobbing too, and I'm not a cryer.

Fifth, enlist as much help as possible. I had no one other than DH and since I was nursing, even he wasn't much help, but you can't do it alone, kwim?

Sixth, I promise that this won't last forever, even though it feels like it. You are a great mom and we all feel frustrated when our kids are screaming and won't sleep. It's terrible not knowing what to do to comfort a baby, but sometimes there is nothing other than just being there and holding them while they cry. It will pass and it will get much better.

Seventh, :hug::hug::hug:

Christina
DD 9-04
DS 7-09

[gatorsmom]

If you've ruled out reflux and dairy or food insensitivities, you might consider sensory issues. I went through the same thing with Greenbean. We tried Mylicon drops, reflux medicines, sitting him upright, etc. Nothing really helped. Until I realized that he would fall asleep if he was held or carried in a Moby wrap tied tightly around me. We've since come to realize he has sensory issues. He gets easily overstimulated and then has a very hard time relaxing. He needs all light blocked out and most noise except white noise.

We found the Graco Sweetpeace swing to be a life saver. When it was bedtime, I'd sit the swing upright (because we still thought reflux was to blame), swaddle him, strap him in and then pull the canopy completely over down in front of him so that he could see nothing but the inside of the plain canopy. Then I'd put the swing on full swing and set the noise to womb noises. Sometimes rainforest. It took 15 minutes and he'd be asleep. That was 18 months ago and I raved about that swing to anyone who'd listen. The Moby Wrap did the same thing but I it took longer and gave me a back ache after while. ;)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's so hard, I know.

You are definitely not a bad mom. You are just an exhausted one. hugs.