Would this have annoyed you?

[alien_host]

Yesterday I took DD to a free kids event. They had people making balloon sculptures. Apparently we were too late and the lines were closed. DD (4yo) was very upset that everyone had a balloon and she really wanted one. I asked one of the people making the balloons very nicely if they could "squeeze her in". They said no, that they were finishing up. DD started crying. I tried explaining to her that they were finishing up and getting ready to go home. Of course this wasn't satisfying to her.

The man said to her, "you know only babies cry like that". OK I get it that her crying was annoying, I was trying to difuse the issue. I said to him, "you really don't need to speak to her like that" and walked away with her. He said "oh okay" in a sarcastic tone, I'm pretty sure he didn't appreciate my comment. My comment was on the fly, I was really annoyed that he made that comment. I'm not sure that she actually heard him b/c she was crying so loudly.

The mom that was waiting for her son to get his balloon rolled her eyes at me.

Would you have said something? If so, what?

[egoldber]

Yes, I would have been very annoyed and I would have said something. I also wouldn't have been surprised at the eye rolls. IME, as the mom of a "crier", people get very annoyed with children who cry. You'd think people would be kinder, and yet not so much.

[wendmatt]

Good for you! What a mean pig. I understand (kind of) that they have to draw the line and stop somewhere, were there other kids around that might of come up also? Saying no was not kind but almost understandable but his comments were totally out of order. Good for you for saying something. He's working with children for goodness sakes, they get upset. Of course DD was upset, he could of just said sorry and been nice, said they had run out of balloons or something to placate her.

[Clarity]

It would have annoyed me...it's not his place to try to correct your child's behavior. And I think it's great that you had the guts to tell him so, too!

[alien_host]

Yes, I would have been very annoyed and I would have said something. I also wouldn't have been surprised at the eye rolls. IME, as the mom of a "crier", people get very annoyed with children who cry. You'd think people would be kinder, and yet not so much.

Isn't it crazy how there is no tolerance/compassion for crying? It's always so stressful for me when she has an outburst.


Good for you! What a mean pig. I understand (kind of) that they have to draw the line and stop somewhere, were there other kids around that might of come up also? Saying no was not kind but almost understandable but his comments were totally out of order. Good for you for saying something. He's working with children for goodness sakes, they get upset. Of course DD was upset, he could of just said sorry and been nice, said they had run out of balloons or something to placate her.

Bolding mine. When I made the request there weren't any other kids looking for a balloon. I do understand that they have to draw the line and I wasn't making a big deal about it. I was very polite in my request. DD was already on the verge of tears because I had told her it looked like they were finishing up. Of course there were still a few kids in line so she didn't fully understand why she couldn't have one.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I would complain to the company that he was employed with because someone working with children should do a better job at it. Uncalled for him to make the crying comment. I would have said something on the spot like you did.

Beth

[KpbS]

Oh yes, I would have probably said, "how rude!" or "that is really not helpful" and walked away. I do think that the general public has little to no time for children crying. I get it why people don't like to have kids pitch a fit, but crying from a big disappointment, c'mon.

[ThreeofUs]

Definitely annoying - and really sad for someone working to make kids happy to say that.

I thought you did a great job responding.

[LexyLou]

I really hate the comment that only babies cry. First of all in the relative scheme of life 4 years old IS still a baby. 4 year old don't have the ability to control their emotions like a 30 year old. Secondly, that's not true that only babies cry and I resent anyone who tells me or my child it's not ok to cry. It is ok to cry. We all cry sometimes.

I too have a very emotional almost 4 year old. We work a lot on controlling our emotions. I would be PISSED if someone (especially someone who is in a field that works with children) made a comment like that. It's not his place. I also think it's pretty sucky he wouldn't make her a balloon. JERK.

[JTsMom]

Yep, I would have been annoyed too. One time DS was upset about something and was crying, and an older lady said, "Big boys don't cry!" to him. I honestly think she felt like she was being helpful b/c she didn't say it with a mean tone, but I wanted to slug her. DS went around saying that for months afterwards. And the thing is, he very rarely cries- he's more of a screamer/exploding type. I don't want him to think there is something wrong with crying on the rare occassion he feels like doing so!

[TwinFoxes]

It totally would have annoyed me, and if I were the mom in line I wouldn't have rolled my eyes at you, I would have said something to him as well. What an ass! And I agree about complaining to his company. I am completely sympathetic to not squeezing DC in, for all we know he had to take his dying father to a doctor's appointment and needed to leave on time. The comment was beyond the pale though, who does he think he is talking to someone else's kid like that? And then to give you attitude when you called him on it? You did a good job holding your tongue in front of DD.

[fivi2]

I thought you meant she was rolling her eyes in sympathy, like "yeah, that guy is a jerk". That is horrible that she was rolling them at you.

I would probably complain to someone that he should not be working events with kids. Making kids cry and making rude comments are pretty unacceptable!

[new_mommy25]

Oh yes, I would have been annoyed too, and I certainly would have said something along the same line as you. I would also be tempted to put in a phone call to the company because that comment was uncalled for and unnecessary. You were already moving on. How dare he insult your child!

[AnnieW625]

I would've done the same thing. I hate it when people try and correct me about my children. We had one guy at church come up and tell us that our church has a crying room for fussy babies. Elisa was getting a tad restless but she'd been good for the better part of the hour. It was in the communion line so I had to keep my mouth shut, but I felt like saying until the priest comes out and says please take your baby to the crying room (which makes my daughter's manners even worse because the kids are worse in there) then I won't do it.

[Corie]

The man said to her, "you know only babies cry like that".

Would you have said something? If so, what?



I would have grabbed the nearest balloon animal and shoved it up his a$$.

[bubbaray]

I would complain to the company that he was employed with because someone working with children should do a better job at it. Uncalled for him to make the crying comment. I would have said something on the spot like you did.

Beth


:yeahthat:

I wouldn't let this rest. I would complain up the food chain, including to the organizers of the event.

The other mom could have been rolling her eyes in sympathy with you or him. Hard to say.

IME, other moms are (IRL anyway) complete b!tches. I've yet to meet another mom who was remotely compassionate or understanding when my children are in melt-down mode.

[pb&j]

I probably would have just punched the guy in the mouth.

What an a-hole.

[brittone2]

Yes!

My ILs do this w/ DS, and my parents have even done it (although now they know my feelings on it and don't do it any longer thankfully!!). I always say "happy isn't the only acceptable emotion in our family."

In your case, I probably would have had the urge to spit venom toward the guy making such a comment. Grrr.

[brittone2]

I would have grabbed the nearest balloon animal and shoved it up his a$$.

:ROTFLMAO:

Yeah, i think his comment totally deserved it!

[Pennylane]

I would have grabbed the nearest balloon animal and shoved it up his a$$.

:yeahthat: Then I probably would have thrown an nasty curse at the other mom too :)

Ann

[Corie]

:yeahthat: Then I probably would have thrown an nasty curse at the other mom too :)

Ann


Ann,

Sounds like we'd get along great!!!

[alien_host]

Thanks for making me feel better and that I'm not a total nut. I appreciate it. I did think about speaking to the manager of the venue, but decided it was best just to move on and try and calm down DD, who of course 5 minutes later said, "that's OK, I don't need a balloon".

I was tempted to say, "I guess I won't be hiring you for any birthday parties or whatever" seriously, this guy had to be the crabbiest balloon maker ever. ;)


I really hate the comment that only babies cry. First of all in the relative scheme of life 4 years old IS still a baby. 4 year old don't have the ability to control their emotions like a 30 year old. Secondly, that's not true that only babies cry and I resent anyone who tells me or my child it's not ok to cry. It is ok to cry. We all cry sometimes.

ITA with this, everyone does cry and the whole "only babies cry" drives me insane.


I too have a very emotional almost 4 year old. We work a lot on controlling our emotions. I would be PISSED if someone (especially someone who is in a field that works with children) made a comment like that. It's not his place. I also think it's pretty sucky he wouldn't make her a balloon. JERK.

bolding = :)

[alien_host]

The other mom could have been rolling her eyes in sympathy with you or him. Hard to say.

this is quite possible since I just saw her quickly but I swore the balloon guy and this mom continuted to talk about us after we walked away but I'm not sure.

[alien_host]

I would have grabbed the nearest balloon animal and shoved it up his a$$.

LOL, this made my day! Yeah, that would have been perfect since he just made one kid a giant sword!

[deborah_r]

I agree the guy was out of line and I would never say anything like that to someone else's child. I'm just wondering though - I do sometimes tell DS! (6 years old) that he is being babyish when he whines and cries and carries on, because I just think he's old enough to find another way to handle his emotions. Should I not say that?

[justlearning]

I think your response was completely appropriate and that comment would have bothered me too.

Having said that, I probably wouldn't have been bothered as much if the man were older. I usually am more understanding of folks who are from a different generation than me because I chalk it up to them not being as aware of the proper rules now of what you say to other parents' children.

Something like this happened to me in a grocery store when an older woman really scolded my four-year-old (in front of me) for throwing a fit in the store. She was so out of line in attempting to shame him, but I tried to chalk it up to her attempt to "help" the situation instead of getting too upset about it.

I've also come to realize that sometimes people from different cultures have different rules regarding what's appropriate or not to say to others' kids. (I became upset when my brother's girlfriend, now wife, scolded my son during our first meeting but later came to realize that it was likely due to her cultural differences).

But...if this man is working with kids in our country, then it's good for him to learn the rules of what he should/shouldn't say to kids. So I do think giving feedback to his superior would be helpful. But I'd be careful to describe just the facts of what he said--without giving your attributions for why he said it. He may have said it because he was trying to help you rather than because he was annoyed with her crying, but he still should learn that it's not a good thing to say.

[dcmom2b3]

The man said to her, "you know only babies cry like that".

Me: "Now see, sir, that's not true. In fact, I've been known to make grown men cry, especially after I've gotten them fired for being inappropriate."

"Off with [his] head!" says the Queen of Hearts.

I'd also put in a word with the organizers of the event. Your situation was totally forseeable, and it seems like poor planning for them not to have hired the balloon guys to stay until closing time. If there were budget concerns, they should have hired them to start later, not end earlier.

[gatorsmom]

Yes!

"happy isn't the only acceptable emotion in our family."



I'm filing this away to be used on my FIL. That is excellent. Thank you!

[gatorsmom]

Me: "Now see, sir, that's not true. In fact, I've been known to make grown men cry, especially after I've gotten them fired for being inappropriate."



:jammin: You seriously rock. This is one of those things I"d think of 2 weeks later to say in hindsight.

[kcandz]

I'm just wondering though - I do sometimes tell DS! (6 years old) that he is being babyish when he whines and cries and carries on, because I just think he's old enough to find another way to handle his emotions. Should I not say that?

My DC is the same age and tries so, so hard not to cry. But it still happens. DC is highly sensitive. If I said that DC was being babyish directly to my child, DC's self esteem would be completely shattered. DC is extremely anxious and insecure in addition to being sensitive. What I say to DC is more along the lines of teaching DC to take a moment to breathe through a reaction, to use words to express frustration.

[infomama]

Yes, I would have been very annoyed and I would have said something.
and that woman who rolled her eyes....what a b*tch.

[dcmom2b3]

:jammin: You seriously rock. This is one of those things I"d think of 2 weeks later to say in hindsight.

There is some small benefit, in hindsight, to having lived in a professional environement that is intolerant of errors, even small ones -- I'm really, really good at getting people fired. Hence the queen of hearts nickname. Though I've always used that skill for good, not evil. I promise . . .

[brittone2]

I'm filing this away to be used on my FIL. That is excellent. Thank you!

Well, again, I totally lifted that from gentlechristianmothers.com :) I can't take credit for it, but it is one of those quotes that has stuck w/ me through the years. :thumbsup:

[DrSally]

I think you were defending your daughter. I think he was rude.

ETA: I think his comment was mean and good for you for saying something. I can't believe that other woman! I mean if no one else was in line, why couldn't he have done one for her? I have more tolerance for DS "real" crying (i.e., upset not whining) b/c I see it as just expressing another valid emotion.

[alien_host]

I think your response was completely appropriate and that comment would have bothered me too.

Having said that, I probably wouldn't have been bothered as much if the man were older. I usually am more understanding of folks who are from a different generation than me because I chalk it up to them not being as aware of the proper rules now of what you say to other parents' children.

Something like this happened to me in a grocery store when an older woman really scolded my four-year-old (in front of me) for throwing a fit in the store. She was so out of line in attempting to shame him, but I tried to chalk it up to her attempt to "help" the situation instead of getting too upset about it.

I've also come to realize that sometimes people from different cultures have different rules regarding what's appropriate or not to say to others' kids. (I became upset when my brother's girlfriend, now wife, scolded my son during our first meeting but later came to realize that it was likely due to her cultural differences).

But...if this man is working with kids in our country, then it's good for him to learn the rules of what he should/shouldn't say to kids. So I do think giving feedback to his superior would be helpful. But I'd be careful to describe just the facts of what he said--without giving your attributions for why he said it. He may have said it because he was trying to help you rather than because he was annoyed with her crying, but he still should learn that it's not a good thing to say.

Just to let everyone know, this man wasn't really "older" I'd say he was mid to late 40s. He also seemed as though he was from the US originally.

It's possible that he said it to try and help, although it didn't feel that way at the time but I was so frazzled, who knows.

I also thought of those things you mentioned and what may have contributed to what he said.

Honestly, he probably had a bad day (making a million balloon horses in one day) or something but I suppose that's no excuse!

[alien_host]

Me: "Now see, sir, that's not true. In fact, I've been known to make grown men cry, especially after I've gotten them fired for being inappropriate."

"Off with [his] head!" says the Queen of Hearts.

I'd also put in a word with the organizers of the event. Your situation was totally forseeable, and it seems like poor planning for them not to have hired the balloon guys to stay until closing time. If there were budget concerns, they should have hired them to start later, not end earlier.

Now that would have been perfect, unfortunately I don't think that quickly on my feet ;)

I'm tempted to call and ask to speak with a manager, although it would have been much more effective to do it in person. I didn't want to do it in front of DD. It could have gotten ugly.

They didn't post times on when the events were closing. They did have multiple balloon folks actually, I think b/c they were expecting crowds. Perhaps they should have had two shifts instead.