Not sure what to do - sons Karate school is moving to bad neighborhood

[jess_g]

My son is 9 and has been doing a special karate class for about a year and a half. It has been a real help to him with cordination and motor planning. The school anounced that they are moving to another location and although its not that far away (maybe a 30 minute drive) its not a good neighborhood. I worry about going there and leaving my car parked in the street and walking around the area. I worry about him seeing things that he should not like drug users. Its realy not a place I want to hang out and I don't feel safe there. Its a downtown area in a medium sized city. My husband thinks I am over reacting but I am thinking of taking him out of karate and either finding another class for him somewhere else or just dropping Karate and having him do another sport that he would enjoy instead. I am realy not sure what to do here as he does like the class and the instructors are realy good but I am not comfortable with where they are moving to. Any thoughts on what you would do?

Thanks,

Jessica.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I just can't imagine that it is that bad. Other parents will be there. Maybe the karate school moving in will even help to improve the area and become more family centric. I would give it a chance. What are the odds that your ds will pick up on what is going on, like drug users? I guess since I don't know the place I can't visualize just how bad it would be. I would give it a shot. Park close by. I really bet that you, your ds and your car will be fine. Sometimes places get reputations that they don't really deserve. Why not go over there during the day and see what it's like? If you really feel that uncomfortable then search out other options. The 30 minute drive is a legitimate reason for not making the move with them.

Beth

[TwinFoxes]

Have you ever been to the location, and been recently? Cities can change from block to block, and neighborhoods can change in a couple of years. If you haven't been recently, I say keep an open mind. I'm havng a hard time imagining a school moving somewhere that kids will see drug use on the street, especially since your DH thinks it's ok. Also you can probably look up crime figures via your local PD, just make sure they're recent.

[C99]

How bad is bad? People who have never been here before, or who live suburban or rural areas think that our neighborhood is bad because it is in the city, but it's not. Many of my friends live or have lived in neighborhoods that are not so great, but once I went to them, I discovered that they really weren't as scary as I had imagined.

[dcmom2b3]

How would a 9 y.o. know a drug user on sight? Or to be afraid of things that s/he hadn't seen?

Different, yes. Teachable moment? Yes. Scary and a reason to quit TKD? (which is all about self-confidence)? I'll leave that to your judgment. But for me I'd be looking for a way to make it work, rather than shutting it down because it was in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

Afraid for your car? Get an alarm. Stay true to the city driver's credo: nothing visible in the car.

Would you be able to wait in the studio rather than "hang out" in the neighborhood? Have someone walk you to your car if it came to that. It is a karate school, after all.

I have a sense that you might feel more at ease once you've waited out a few lessons there.

[Laurel]

Is it people peeing in public bad? Or just dirty streets bad? I'd still go, I want my kids to be city-smart and would see it as a learning opportunity.

If you are really nervous, maybe try driving to the new school site and checking it out (at the time class will be) to see if it as bad as you think. Then you can make the decision based on reality and not just your impression of what it may be...if you already have done this and know it is really bad, please disregard.

[kijip]

The bad neighborhood would not faze me. However, I'd need to really love something or have no closer choice to commit to a 30 minute drive to anywhere for a class. Maybe I am spoiled, but the distance would be a dealbreaker for me unless this was the only place you liked or could afford.

[Ceepa]

The bad neighborhood would not faze me. However, I'd need to really love something or have no closer choice to commit to a 30 minute drive to anywhere for a class. Maybe I am spoiled, but the distance would be a dealbreaker for me unless this was the only place you liked or could afford.

Yes and yes. Bad neighborhood, fine. 30 minute drive, if it's more than once a week or only held on weekdays I would consider continuing with that studio or finding another.

[wellyes]

I grew up rural. I went to college in a city (Pittsburgh) -- a woman's college in a posh neighborhood on an expensively landscaped campus constantly monitored by guards -- and most of my mom's co-workers kept talking about how brave she was to let me go there, the city is so dangerous, did she know to tell me to carry pepper spray when I went from my dorm to my class?

So when I hear people talk about "bad neighborhood" I do take it with a grain of salt. Though a few times in my life I have been in parts of cities where I felt tense, even in daylight. But these aren't the kinds of neighborhoods that would lease to a school, these are the kinds of neighborhoods where the residents have to take a bus to buy groceries because no store will go there.

And of course feelings of personal safety are so subjective.

Either way, 30 minute commute to a class is too much of a PITA for me :) Unless you son feels strongly about it, I'd have no hesitation dropping it. If he's really loving and benefiting from it that's another story.