DD cries when anyone talks to her--any BTDT?

[sidmand]

I'm not sure if this is a sign of something (DS is on the autism spectrum so I'm probably hypersensitive to this!) or just her personality or something to be concerned with...but DD (almost 17 months old) does not like when anyone talks to her!

Sometimes it even extends to DH but usually it's people she either doesn't know or hasn't seen in a little while. But she'll be absolutely fine and then someone will say, "oh, aren't you cute?" and she'll start crying!

It's happened in the healthclub, in a restaurant, at home with our cleaning lady, in a grocery store, etc.

I just attempted the YMCA Childwatch and told them she needs to sit in her stroller and just take everything in for about 10 minutes (she's often okay if she can just observe for a bit and this has actually worked out okay at a different gym) and have no one talk to her. They came back and told me she didn't seem to like other children. Well yeah, if they're coming into her face before she's had a chance to warm up then no, she's going to cry.

My sitter has taken her to a restaurant with another baby and tells me the other baby is thrilled at the attention and if anyone talks to DD she cries. Yeah, I know.

She's also not talking. We just started speech therapy and I don't know if they go hand in hand or are totally unrelated.

Basically I'm just wondering if I should worry about something specific (because I like to have specific when I worry :)) or if this is fairly typical and she may or may not grow out of it, but it's just personality.

[Melaine]

My girls were both like this for a long time. They would burst into tears when anyone approached us in public. They would cry when people came into our home, even friends or family they knew. It didn't help that they got tons of attention because of the twin factor. They have gotten better now but still do not like strangers. To be honest, I did have my concerns about autism based on some of these behaviors.
Now, I really feel like this is just simply the way that my children are, personality wise. They have gotten much better. People do not seem to understand that not every child enjoys being the center of attention.

[brittone2]

Truthfully, I think it is wise to be aware and watch. She could have some delayed social-emotional skills without being on the spectrum, kwim? But it can also be totally within the range of normal development. My DS didn't have speech delays but was not thrilled w/ strangers talking to him, and he was pretty sensitive to loud noises, etc. so that always concerned me a little bit. He totally outgrew it though...he's very social now. In toddlerhood he was slow to warm up to new situations, new people, etc. It is funny because when we had DD it was the total opposite...we were amazed at how different they were.

I think it is one of those things that is wise to keep an eye on given the family history and the speech delay, but I wouldn't worry at this point :hug: You can talk with the SLP about your observations and they can help keep an eye on things. When I worked in EI we eval'd social/emotional development as part of our evaluations. In a youngish toddler there isn't as much to track but it is something they can help you keep an eye on and you can bounce your concerns off of the SLP. (eta: the other thing would be to keep an eye on sensory stuff...maybe it feels too much like someone in her space or it may feel "extra" close to her even though they are within a normal amount of space, kwim? But again, a child can have some sensory stuff without being on the spectrum, as I'm sure you know. And again, it can be totally within the range of normal, but just something I'd take into consideration in the big picture. If you started to see other sensory stuff pop up, then it would be more of a concern, kwim?)

[ohiomom1121]

My DD went through this phase as well. She was always one to "observe" for a while before ever joining in, and would burst into tears when strangers came up to her in the mall etc. It was a frustrating stage, but you would NEVER know it now. She's 4 1/2 and very social. I wouldn't worry too much about it right now. I know it's frustrating!!! I remember at her 18 month appt. her pediatrician said we should start talking about "stranger danger". I laughed and told her if I encouraged her to be MORE afraid of strangers we'd never be able to leave the house!!

[maestramommy]

One of my GF's DD was like this. She had an extreme case of stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. It lasted from 3 months to 4 years old. If people came up to her and tried to engage her she would start crying. If people started laughing she would start crying (because she thought they were laughing at her). It was VERY hard to leave her at the church nursery because she would always cry. She did eventually get over it, and at 4.5 yo was able to go up to a new kid and ask if they wanted to play. But she is still a little shy and very sensitive. Just like her mama.

I don't know if this tendency is a sign of something more for your DD, but I know that other kids can be like this, without anything being amiss. :hug5: