Don't want to be tacky - baby registry question

[karenj2]

Thanks to the Baby Bargains book, I've been looking ALL over the place for stuff for baby to be, but I don't want to be tacky/rude and say (in a registry), "I want X from ABC store, Y from DEF store, and Z from GHI store". For example, I'm thinking about cloth diapering, and I like nursery furniture from a local mom & pop store, I'd love to get the Moby wrap (or something like it) and I'd love to get a quilt from either ETSY or local Amish folks.

Most of my family is living on the east coast (Philly metro area), so they're used to shopping at the big box stores like BRU or Target for everything...

What do you think? (What did you do?)

[heatherandlouis]

I registered at www.amazon.com. They ship for free over $25 and do not charge sales tax. They carry great cloth diapers, car seats, furniture, baby carriers etc... This was the best solution for us as we have family all over also.

[becca_g]

I struggled with this as well since there are things I wanted to register for from multiple different stores. As an example, BRU carries many of the things I'm interested in, but they don't offer the fabric option I like for our car seat and stroller. BBB has the car seat/stroller in the right fabric but doesn't carry many of the other items I want.

Plus, I would rather people buying gifts get the best deal rather than having to pay more because I only registered one place. I'm a huge bargain shopper and have done extensive online research to find out where the best deals can be found.

Here's what I decided to do:

My sister is having a Cyber Shower for us since none of our friends/family live anywhere near us.

I created a secure baby website, and my sister is mailing invitations that include our website link. One of the website pages is a registry page with links to 6 different online registries (BRU, BBB, PBK, Land of Nod, AlbeeBaby, and amazon). I made it a secure site requiring a login/password since there are also webpages with family photos and other personal baby information.

I also included a section on the registry page with direct links to specific products on babyGap since there is no registry option. I included a request to e-mail me when any of these items are purchased so I can update the webpage. You could also list items that can't be purchased online (e.g., the nursery items you like from the mom and pop store) and provide a phone number for ordering.

It probably sounds more complicated than it actually is. Everything is there (either registry links or direct product links) on a basic webpage for family/friends to pick and choose what they would like to order. You could sign up for a free blog (e.g., LiveJournal or Blogspot) and essentially do the same thing if you don't have experience with web design or know anyone who could create a basic webpage for you. Just be careful with how much personal information you post if you aren't able to have a secure site.

As another option, amazon.com lets you add items to your amazon registry from other non-Amazon sites (e.g., you can add items from babyGap, PBK, etc. or any other online site one at a time to your amazon.com registry). It's slightly tedious, but it gets the job done.

Best of luck!

[catroddick]

Can you register for the bulk of your stuff at one place, and then do "special requests"? Do you have special friends or family that might ask if there are certain things, or perhaps mom, MIL or sisters that could help with specific stuff or getting the word out on specific items?

My Aunt wanted very much to help with something special, so she paid for the mattress that I could only find at one store.

My sister in law gave me one of the best gifts- she stayed with me the weekend of the shower and the day after the shower she and I went and back filled critical items on my registry on her dime. A day shopping with my SIL, who has two kids so lots of knowledge, was fun on its own. Plus getting some of the non-glamorous must-haves was huge.

[BayGirl2]

I had the same issue and ended up registering at Amazon.com and BRU. In retrospect, I would have just stuck to Amazon. BRU's registry was a big hassle to update, and I still got duplicates from them. But I had a shower with local people and many of them bought stuff at BRU BM store.

Also, many guests/relatives totally ignored the registry and got yellow stuff with little duckies on it or whatever they thought I would want. (I had the same experience with my wedding and for that reason wouldn't spend a ton of time creating a complex registry like the PP. My family just doesn't seem to get the registry thing.)

I still have my Amazon registry and plan to keep updating it. Its a good shopping list for me and I can always direct relatives there if they are looking to buy DS a present. I have the Amazon "add to registry" button on my browser so I use that to put things on from any site I find. I think this would be the easiest way to combine stuff from many sites.

[becca_g]

Also, many guests/relatives totally ignored the registry and got yellow stuff with little duckies on it or whatever they thought I would want. (I had the same experience with my wedding and for that reason wouldn't spend a ton of time creating a complex registry like the PP. My family just doesn't seem to get the registry thing.)

I agree that keeping it simple is better if possible (even though I didn't express that in my previous post). However, for my wedding I actually had the opposite experience ... almost everyone purchased straight off our registry. At the time we lived near family and friends, so it made the whole process a lot easier (we were able to avoid online ordering for the most part).

As far as baby registries, I was not planning to register at all since we weren't going to have a live shower.

However, multiple friends and family members began asking where we were registered so they could purchase online. Then my sister came up with the idea of throwing the cyber shower, and I created the registry page.

If we were having a live shower where the majority of people were purchasing at a store rather than online, I would probably do things a bit differently and only register 1 or 2 places.

Having said that, I actually had a lot of fun working on the website (web design is a hobby of mine). It's all a bit of an experiment at this point, so we'll see how the cyber shower turns out and whether or not people stick to the registries.

[mskitty]

Can you register for the bulk of your stuff at one place, and then do "special requests"? Do you have special friends or family that might ask if there are certain things, or perhaps mom, MIL or sisters that could help with specific stuff or getting the word out on specific items?

My Aunt wanted very much to help with something special, so she paid for the mattress that I could only find at one store.

My sister in law gave me one of the best gifts- she stayed with me the weekend of the shower and the day after the shower she and I went and back filled critical items on my registry on her dime. A day shopping with my SIL, who has two kids so lots of knowledge, was fun on its own. Plus getting some of the non-glamorous must-haves was huge.

This is pretty much what we did. Majority of the items went on the BRU registry. Then items were specifically requested for our two showers and anyone who asked directly what we wanted. My husband's aunt and cousin then offered to buy the necessities that weren't purchased. It worked very well :)

mskitty

[WatchingThemGrow]

maybe it was rude, but for DC 2 and 3, I was keeping track of things we needed on a google document. We ended up making it public and sharing it with grandparents, cousins, etc. who asked what we needed. It had the name, link, special notes, coupon codes, price, date needed, etc. It really was for us initially, but it ended up being perfect for random friends and relatives to order us some mabels labels or whatever "off the beaten path" thing we wanted.

[karenj2]

Thanks for the replies! What made me start thinking about this was my cousin's wedding registry... The website name is horrible (thingsiwant.com), but the concept is great - you can pick things from any website (or manually type something from a physical store) and have it all in one place.

[littlebethany]

I struggled with this as well since there are things I wanted to register for from multiple different stores. As an example, BRU carries many of the things I'm interested in, but they don't offer the fabric option I like for our car seat and stroller. BBB has the car seat/stroller in the right fabric but doesn't carry many of the other items I want.

Plus, I would rather people buying gifts get the best deal rather than having to pay more because I only registered one place. I'm a huge bargain shopper and have done extensive online research to find out where the best deals can be found.

Here's what I decided to do:

My sister is having a Cyber Shower for us since none of our friends/family live anywhere near us.

I created a secure baby website, and my sister is mailing invitations that include our website link. One of the website pages is a registry page with links to 6 different online registries (BRU, BBB, PBK, Land of Nod, AlbeeBaby, and amazon). I made it a secure site requiring a login/password since there are also webpages with family photos and other personal baby information.

I also included a section on the registry page with direct links to specific products on babyGap since there is no registry option. I included a request to e-mail me when any of these items are purchased so I can update the webpage. You could also list items that can't be purchased online (e.g., the nursery items you like from the mom and pop store) and provide a phone number for ordering.

It probably sounds more complicated than it actually is. Everything is there (either registry links or direct product links) on a basic webpage for family/friends to pick and choose what they would like to order. You could sign up for a free blog (e.g., LiveJournal or Blogspot) and essentially do the same thing if you don't have experience with web design or know anyone who could create a basic webpage for you. Just be careful with how much personal information you post if you aren't able to have a secure site.

As another option, amazon.com lets you add items to your amazon registry from other non-Amazon sites (e.g., you can add items from babyGap, PBK, etc. or any other online site one at a time to your amazon.com registry). It's slightly tedious, but it gets the job done.

Best of luck!

That sounds neat, Ive never used Amazon registery before, Ill set one up and give it a try.:)

[vonfirmath]

I decided to register at one place (well, technically had a registry at Amazon, but no one used it) and to purchase for myself stuff that I wanted that was not at that one place.

Also, I would not be too picky on patterns, etc. when someone else is purchasing it.

[Ceepa]

We also registered at one place and then filled in the rest ourselves or when asked by close relatives (e.g. grandparents) suggested something specific.

[lizzywednesday]

You know, I ran into this with friends my age.

One friend registered at BRU, BBB, REI and Amazon ... as she's got friends & relations all over the place and a very active/outdoorsy lifestyle (i.e. - the REI stuff was mostly camping and running related) but I used her registries as guidelines to shop for a basket of baby goodies for her when we saw her just before her son was born.

Another friend used a combination of BRU and her own website to point folks to the things she would like ... and I still went off-registry (noticed she was interested in CD, so I ordered the gDiapers "shower gift" pack) but was able to do so using the registry as a set of guidelines. She was ecstatic to get the gDiapers because she wasn't able to find them anywhere!

My sister (who is due 11/7/09) is registered at BRU. She used popularity ratings to make her list ... personally, I disagree with that, but she's 23 and really doesn't know much better! I didn't learn about BB until after she'd registered and folks started buying gifts, or I would have given her a copy! I am still going to give her Baby 411, though.

As she is my sister, I am doing a few "big" things off-registry - like getting her a selection of music from Rockabye Baby! (which does lullabye versions of classic rock from AC/DC to Led Zeppelin; Aerosmith comes out 9/15) and a Pandora charm bracelet (sterling silver with sterling/14K gold "Queen Bee" charm) ... and for her boyfriend, a messenger style diaper bag from DadGear.com in place of the one by DiaperDude on their registry (which I actually think looks like a fanny pack.)

The sole drawback to an online only registry is ... we have lots of elderly relations who don't shop online. It's kind of pointless to give them registry information when they either don't have online access or are uncomfortable ordering from a website (those news stories about identity theft have my mom's mom in a tizzy, for example) ... it's really interesting to me. I've had an Amazon account practically since they opened, so it's counterintuitive to me to not register there for one or the other reason.

I've found a lot of things out and about that I'd prefer to register for on Amazon, say, but always have that concern in the back of my mind for the guests like my dad's mom or my great-aunts.

[karenj2]

The sole drawback to an online only registry is ... we have lots of elderly relations who don't shop online. It's kind of pointless to give them registry information when they either don't have online access or are uncomfortable ordering from a website (those news stories about identity theft have my mom's mom in a tizzy, for example) ...

That's one of the things I'm worried about - there are certainly plenty of people that would be perfectly happy ordering online, but others will want to go to a store, and yet others will just get what they want to get, regardless.

I think I'll do a combination of both... I am going to register for some big items, in case our parents want to help us out. :loveeyes: (But I also don't want to have people think "are they going to buy ANYTHING with their own money???")

[lizzywednesday]

That's one of the things I'm worried about - there are certainly plenty of people that would be perfectly happy ordering online, but others will want to go to a store, and yet others will just get what they want to get, regardless.

I think I'll do a combination of both... I am going to register for some big items, in case our parents want to help us out. :loveeyes: (But I also don't want to have people think "are they going to buy ANYTHING with their own money???")

I registered at 3 places for my wedding.

It was a pain, but it was easier to ensure that some family members who weren't near X, Y or Z store could still have the fun of shopping for a gift.

I didn't get any feedback that people were upset ... only that the saleswoman who helped my sister with her purchase (iced tea glasses) thought it was strange that I'd only registered for 3 place-settings of china at the department store. (My mother bought 6 off-registry because she found a better deal & I'd registered for the rest at another store.)

I just don't want everyone running around crazy looking for things.

Don't worry about what people will think. Just register. If you get everything, good for you! If not, check in with the store about whether or not they have a "completion discount" like wedding registries do ... we were able to use our completion discounts to pick up household odds & ends, the luggage we used for our honeymoon and our vacuum cleaner. IDK how baby registries work with stuff like that, but it was a huge perk for the wedding stuff!

[vonfirmath]

My sister (who is due 11/7/09) is registered at BRU. She used popularity ratings to make her list ... personally, I disagree with that, but she's 23 and really doesn't know much better! I didn't learn about BB until after she'd registered and folks started buying gifts, or I would have given her a copy! I am still going to give her Baby 411, though.

We thought the BB book was SO useful, we purchased Baby 411. But we didn't find that book nearly as useful. I would not spend the money on it again.

[lizzywednesday]

We thought the BB book was SO useful, we purchased Baby 411. But we didn't find that book nearly as useful. I would not spend the money on it again.

My sister is a youngest child.
I figure she needs all the help she can get.

[kijip]

I registered at BRU with baby #1 for work friends (they requested it).

I registered at BRU and PBK with baby #2, because so many different people threw us showers (4 in all). I registered at PBK because I have an older friend who asked me to- she is not a grandmother yet and she said she did not want to shop at TRU, she wanted to shop at PBK. The PBK registry was crazy...everything (all of 5 items) on it was purchased but nothing registered on the registry at all.

[traciann]

We thought the BB book was SO useful, we purchased Baby 411. But we didn't find that book nearly as useful. I would not spend the money on it again.

I disagree. Its a great comprehensive book, and I am now using it with my second child.

I also wouldn't over think all this baby stuff. I can say that some things I felt I HAD to have really weren't as useful as I thought or dc didn't like it. I remember there was a high chair I really wanted but BRU didn't carry it, so we just bought it ourselves.