S/O Not to offend

[BabyMine]

Awhile back I started a thread about the correct terminology for the multicultural people around us. (I cannot find that thread) The reason I did this was becasue I wanted to correctly teach my DC about the world around them. I am so grateful with all the positive responses and you have all tought me so much about the world around me. I founf this article today and I thought of the old thread.

Article below

http://www.newsweek.com/id/214989/page/1

Article snippet below

"Kids as young as 6 months judge others based on skin color. What's a parent to do?"

Quote

....."They wanted their children to grow up colorblind. But Vittrup's first test of the kids revealed they weren't colorblind at all. Asked how many white people are mean, these children commonly answered, "Almost none." Asked how many blacks are mean, many answered, "Some," or "A lot." Even kids who attended diverse schools answered the questions this way."......

[Wife_and_mommy]

I didn't read the article but I found that snippet weird. We've never made mention of the color of someone's skin to our kids. DD became aware around age 3 that her cousin has a different hairstyle (due to her race) than she does and that's the extent of their differences in her mind.

IMO, the color of a person's skin is easily identifiable to a kid so of course, when asked, they'll use it as an identifier. That doesn't mean they're being judgemental. :irked:

[g-mama]

My kids (half white/half Filipino) don't refer to anyone by the color of their skin. I don't think they've ever heard of a "white" person or a "black" person. They say Caucasian, Asian (or more specifically Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino, etc.), African American...

Our school is extremely diverse (I remember reading once that there are 60+ countries represented) with a large proportion of the families not speaking English at home. I am SO happy that this is how my children are growing up, which is the complete opposite of how I grew up (like two non-Caucasian kids in the entire elementary school!). They generally do not identify their classmates by their ethnicity when describing to me or each other who they are. Only time I hear mention of it is when they're talking about some of the foods that their classmates eat for lunch and say "that's because XXX is Ethiopian and that's an Ethiopian food" for example. It is absolutely normal to them.

[Melaine]

IMO, the color of a person's skin is easily identifiable to a kid so of course, when asked, they'll use it as an identifier. That doesn't mean they're being judgemental. :irked:

:yeahthat: I didn't read the article (I'm in a rush to get offline) but I think it is absolutely ridiculous to say "Kids as young as 6 months judge others based on skin color"
What 6 month old "judges" anyway? Because an infant can discern the difference in color does not mean they are judging....observation skills alone are a normal development.

I just think that quote taken alone is very silly, but I will try to go back and read the article later.

[o_mom]

Very interesting!

I think the most important point from it is that being silent on race, that is saying nothing at all, leaves kids to make their own judgments and that they tend to form the opinion that people with traits like their own are better. So just not mentioning skin color or race isn't enough to overcome the natural tendancy of humans to be more comfortable with familiar things (even if it is just that the person has the same color shirt). Additionally, they found that simply being in a diverse environment was not enough either - that kids quickly picked up that you should not talk about someone's race and it was taboo and became an even bigger deal. In the abscence of talking about it directly kids will make up their own explanations and many times those explanations are not what we would like.

The 'babies judge' comment does seem to be taken out of context. They did find that babies can discriminate between physical traits at a young age (I don't know if the book goes in to more about that, so there may be something to back up the comment about judging). I think it is there to back up the idea that pretending that there are no physical difference between people is only going to make kids wonder why you can't see what is obviously there and why it is forbidden to talk about it.

[Laurel]

Here's the website of the authors of the Newsweek piece. Lots of interesting stuff here:
http://www.nurtureshock.com/

[KarenLud]

Interesting. Like pp mentioned I find it hard to believe that babies as young as 6 months "judge"...observe? sure. Oh and on a side note...can't stand the term "colorblind". That's like ignoring differences in culture instead of embracing them.

[BabyMine]

Very interesting!

I think the most important point from it is that being silent on race, that is saying nothing at all, leaves kids to make their own judgments and that they tend to form the opinion that people with traits like their own are better. So just not mentioning skin color or race isn't enough to overcome the natural tendancy of humans to be more comfortable with familiar things (even if it is just that the person has the same color shirt). Additionally, they found that simply being in a diverse environment was not enough either - that kids quickly picked up that you should not talk about someone's race and it was taboo and became an even bigger deal. In the abscence of talking about it directly kids will make up their own explanations and many times those explanations are not what we would like.

The 'babies judge' comment does seem to be taken out of context. They did find that babies can discriminate between physical traits at a young age (I don't know if the book goes in to more about that, so there may be something to back up the comment about judging). I think it is there to back up the idea that pretending that there are no physical difference between people is only going to make kids wonder why you can't see what is obviously there and why it is forbidden to talk about it.


Thank-you. This is exactly how I feel. I feel uncomfortable talking with my children becasue it is a very difficult subject for me. I can talk about sex and drugs but I can't talk about races. I want them to have a healthy curiosity and embrace each race like I do but I don't know how to approach it when the time comes. My first reaction is to just point out that everyone is different and that we are all beautiful but I don't want to give a generic answer. I want to encourage his curiosity and his understanding of the people who live around the world.

[kijip]

I think that what people say or don't say to their children about race is less important that what they do/observe in their parents about race. If a child sees that their parents are uncomfortable around someone, that makes an impression for example. Similarly I think living in a homogenous neighborhood or sending them to a homogenous school sends a powerful message without saying a word.

I grew up in a family with more than one skin color in the home and kids do judge at pretty young ages IME. But they are only reflecting what they learn at home, even if the parent did not actively teach it. I can't tell you the number of times a parent was genuinely horrified and embarrassed by their children saying racist or nasty things to my family but the child was learning it somewhere, you know?

[kijip]

IMO, the color of a person's skin is easily identifiable to a kid so of course, when asked, they'll use it as an identifier. That doesn't mean they're being judgemental. :irked:

What is interesting is that in various studies kids, of many races, often don't use it for white people as an identifier. For one example, a white child is described with hair color and eye color or personal traits and a child that is not white is described by the color of their skin. I think there is an implication there. I think this is less likely to happen when children grow up in a very diverse setting.