Do twins need separate classrooms?

[blisstwins]

I have boy/girl twins and we are happy with our current, very small pre-school. My children play with other kids and though they are good friends, they are not clingy with one another.
Our school has only one classroom per grade and so I have been planning to apply to a different school for kindergarden forward, but today I was thinking that maybe I should question the idea that they should be separated. I disagree with so much else that is the conventional wisdom, yet it is hard to think of them being in the same classroom until 8th grade.

Any thoughts?

[caheinz]

Mine are too young to worry about this too much yet, but there's a twins mailing list that I signed up for that this has come up on. It really seems like it depends on the kids. If the twins are very dependent on one another, it might be a good idea to separate them so that each can learn independence. But, for some kids, the separation is much more traumatic than keeping them together would be a negative. Some moms find it better to have the kids in one classroom so that the friend circles at least overlap...

There is apparently literature on the subject, but I don't have any references handy (but just to pass along that it's out there!). Also, check with your state laws -- in some states, the decision to separate or not is yours alone; while in others, it's really up to the school.

[ellies mom]

One of my friends has twin boys and she made the decision to separate her boys because people have a very hard time telling them apart. They were in the same pre-school class and the teacher was always mixing them up and giving her the wrong report on the wrong child. She wanted to make sure that there wasn't that type of confusion once the kids hit school. She wants the boys to have a relationship with their teachers as individuals not as part of an interchangable pair. That may not be a problem if kids don't not look a lot alike but it is something to consider.

[MMEand1]

I don't have any BTDT experience since I do not have multiples, but I know a family here that has quints and they are all in the same class. They are in first grade and were in the same class in K. I know that their mom is very involved in the school and I think that is how she wanted it.

[bonbon98]

I have b/g twins going into 2nd grade today. They could be in the same classroom since they pretty much do their own thing. I have had mine separated since last year because they can get pretty competitive with their school work - 1 is stronger in math and the other is stronger in language arts. Plus, they're together ALL the time - they need the separation from each other. They are so happy to see each other at the end of the school day and they do compare notes about what they're doing in the classroom.

[Corie]

There are 6 sets of twins and a set of triplets in the 2nd grade (my DDs grade)
at our elementary school.

All of the kids were kept with their twin or triplets through kindergarten.

The mom of triplets separated her kids for 1st grade.

The moms of the 6 sets of twins all separated their kids for 2nd grade.

[TwinFoxes]

You're right, the conventional wisdom is to separate them, and that is apparently based on pretty much no research (like a lot of conventional wisdom!) Some schools mandate that twins be separated, and there is now a pretty strong movement across the country to leave it up to the parents. I think this is an OK overview of the topic, but it's several years old and there are more recent studies than the ones this overview sites. But this explains the basics:

http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/poptopics/twins.html

I really think it should be up to you. Be sure to that whatever school they go to doesn't mandate something you don't want to do. In my head my little girls will be best friends and won't want to be separated...but reality may be different! :) I have four years to decide...

[Pennylane]

I think that depends on how dependant your twins are on each other. Mine have been in the same preschool class for the last 3 years and the teachers say that they have different friends and pretty much just do their own thing. They are great friends,but they are so different in the way they learn that so far there has been no competition between them.

I am planning on keeping them in the same K class next year to see how it goes. I think the older they get, the more likely it is they will want to be in separate classes.

I would love to hear from some people that have already BTDT.

Ann

[Snow mom]

I have identical twins in a class I'm teaching. They are college sophomores. I wanted to question them about various things about growing up as twins (including taking classes together) but I thought that would be rude so I just asked them for a hint of how to tell them apart. I see PPs point about children being treated as a pair rather than individuals, but I think it's on the teacher to figure out how to treat them like the rest of the students. Obviously I don't have twins, but I don't know that I'd switch schools just so that I could separate them unless it was something I wanted for sure.

[Melaine]

I'm not happy with any school mandating that twins be separated. I think it should be my decision as the parent. That being said, I can see how mine might need to be separated in the future, they are very attached. But I know b/g twins who are very independent.

[khm]

There are triplets in my daughter's class. They are easy to tell apart, so that isn't a factor. But, their mom is a teacher and was insistent they be in the same class, based on her research into the subject and her particular kids.

She did have to plead her case a bit, but they were allowed to be in the same class, even though their are enough class sections for them to be split into.

[vonfirmath]

I wonder what a school would do with higher order multiples if they mandate separation. How many schools have 4 or 5 different classes at a particular grade?

[fivi2]

I plan to leave them together at least for Kinder (in my state it is up to parents). I don't want to start them off with school for the first time and separating them for the first time. After that, I will look at it year by year. (Mine are inseparable identical girls.) I think it really depends on the twin dynamics.

[hollybloom24]

I believe this decision needs to be based on your children and your preferences, and there is no right or wrong answer, and there are pluses and minuses to both choices.

In our school system, parents can decide whether they want their multiples together or separate. My husband and I are going to separate our girls in kindergarten. Right now they attend a small preschool with one classroom per age. They do fine together, but moving forward we want them to develop their own identities, interests and friends. Sometimes we believe our girls hold each other back.

I think your personality and circumstances as a parent play a role too. If your kids are in different classrooms, they will have different homework assignments, different friends, different parties, playdates etc. If the logistics of this will be harder for you to manage than two kids doing basically the same thing, it should be a factor. For some people, it won't factor into the equation at all. Figure out what will allow you to be the best parent you can be.

Nobody knows your kids and family better than you!

Good luck!

[blisstwins]

I think my ideal would be to seperate when they ask to be separated--that's what we are doing with their bedroom. But the problem here is that you are not given choice. The public schools are intractable and I have heard the school we would apply to is as well.

So I either have to leave them where they are for them to stay together or accept separation in kindy.

Parents have very little choice over anything in my area.

Do you have any idea how little the kids will interact with each other if they are in different classrooms at the same school? There are only 2 classes per grade and my hope is that they would have friends and activities in common.

[tarahsolazy]

My identical twin sister and I were separated from kindy through fourth grade, then in a small Christian school for 5-6, where grades 2-6 were all together. Then we went to a middle school setting where we had some classes together, and then high school, which was also some classes together.

I liked having separate elementary classrooms, because the teacher always knew my name, lol. From 5th-12th, we got called the other name frequently, which got very annoying. Especially when we looked very different by hs, as far as hairstyles and clothes choices. Being older, it was easier to just roll our eyes. We still look a lot alike. My sister lives 3 hours away, and someone she used to work with saw me in our mall, and came up and said, you have got to be Nicole's sister.

My son has identical twin girl buddies, they were all in preschool together for two years. Now the girls are in different kindy classrooms, and their mom told me that they like it because the teachers and kids don't confuse their names.

[Melaine]

The whole identity thing is a good point. So far, no one aside from close family and a few shrewdly observant friends are able to tell my girls apart. I can see this being an issue in a classroom setting and I don't want them to be constantly dealing with that. For that reason, I might choose to separate them.

[TwinFoxes]

I think my ideal would be to seperate when they ask to be separated--that's what we are doing with their bedroom. But the problem here is that you are not given choice. The public schools are intractable and I have heard the school we would apply to is as well.

So I either have to leave them where they are for them to stay together or accept separation in kindy.

Parents have very little choice over anything in my area.

Do you have any idea how little the kids will interact with each other if they are in different classrooms at the same school? There are only 2 classes per grade and my hope is that they would have friends and activities in common.

Ugh, that sucks that you aren't given a choice. And like I said, I don't think they're are basing the decision to separate on anything other than conventional wisdom or anecdotal evidence. I don't think one size fits all makes sense. Perhaps if you raised a stink, and cited other states' changing attitudes it would make a difference?

As for interaction between classes, I'm only going off of memory, but I only remember interacting with other classes during recess (which we didn't have in kindergarten) and the occasional assembly/special event. My brother (a year older) and I had classes that had a door in between, and we still rarely saw each other. I'm sure it varies a bit from school to school.

[hobie]

I'm very glad that our school allows parents to make their own decision to keep their kids together or seperate. My guys are identical, but B wears glasses, and A doesn't, so it is easy for teachers to tell them apart. They, by their own choice, sit in different places in the class, and have different friends. Going to kindy this year was a big step (seperation from mom, and all) so I think it helps them to know where their brother is.

There are 2 other sets of twins in kindy this year, and both other sets were also kept together (g/g and b/g).