What do you think of potlucks?

[ourbabygirl]

We have a party coming up in a couple of months, and I was wondering if I could ask people to bring a dish to share (we're inviting about 15 couples & their kids). Is that really cheap & cheesy? I've never done this before, only with small gatherings with my siblings & their spouses. If you think it's in really poor taste, I'll skip it, but if it's something that people do often, then maybe I'll give it a try :).

Thanks!

[Piglet]

We have had a blast with potlucks, though we usually limit it to a smaller group and have a theme meal. It is one of my favourite parties! I don't think it is cheesy at all, though I am biased.

[DrSally]

I've done it, but while in grad school/interning. I don't think it would be a problem with an informal group you know well. That's a lot of people to feed.

[bubbaray]

Virtually all "food" parties I've hosted have been potlucks. They are the norm here, at least with my friends. Our largest potlucks were with our (former) running club, probably around 100 people over the course of the evening. Not all ate, of course, and everyone knew that if you wanted food, you'd better show up early!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Depends on the occasion, imo. A Superbowl Party? No problem with that being potluck? A birthday? Not a big fan. Really I think if you invite people you should be prepared to host- and provide all food.

But, dh feels differently. :) He says it is perfectly fine unless it is a b-day party. He doesn't know why he feels that way...but I guess he and I both agree!

eta- I do like potlucks though and would be happy to participate. You know your friends better so try and think of them.

Beth

[ha98ed14]

I like them fine for church get togethers, or a picnic among friends for no reason except to socialize. For birthday parties and baby showers, I find them tacky.

[bubbaray]

I think the deal with b-day parties is that (generally) the guests come bearing gifts.

I don't run in circles where "dinner" parties are the norm. I've been to adult potluck b-day parties too. Never a kids b-day potluck, though.

[WatchingThemGrow]

But, dh feels differently. :) He says it is perfectly fine unless it is a b-day party. He doesn't know why he feels that way...but I guess he and I both agree!

I agree with this. If it's a casual "friends" thing, it makes sense. If they're not expected to bring any kind of other gift, bringing food seems reasonable.

[niccig]

We do them a lot with our playgroup, and I hosted an annual Easter egg hunt and that was pot luck to cut down on the work load for me - it was a lot of kids and parents. I wouldn't pot luck a birthday or a shower.

[marie]

The first wedding I attended with DH and his family (while we were dating) was a potluck. THAT I thought was weird. Yes, it was a second marriage for both people; yes, it was a contra-dance reception at a town hall. But still, potluck wedding?!

Other than the aforementioned wedding, I have no problem with potlucks. I find it's a really great way to try new things. I would recommend being a bit specific about what you want folks to bring (If your name starts with A-M, bring a salad, N-Z, bring a main dish, etc.). Maybe, make sure at least one person brings a kid-friendly dish? Plan on supplying the cups, dishes, flatware. Will you ask people to BYOBeverage?

Unfortunately, DD was diagnosed with a peanut allergy and since then, I don't enjoy attending potlucks as much. i miss that. . .

marie
mama to
DD1 9/03
DD2 12/07

[SnuggleBuggles]

I agree with this. If it's a casual "friends" thing, it makes sense. If they're not expected to bring any kind of other gift, bringing food seems reasonable.

Ooh, that's a good rule of thumb. :)

Beth

[DrSally]

ITA, I wouldn't potluck a bday party, shower, wedding, etc. Not that you were going to do that, OP.

[ladysoapmaker]

But still, potluck wedding?!

Okay, I admit DH and I did this. This is both of our's second marriage and we told everyone we had gotten married and we wanted to celebrate so we were going to get a shelter at a local park and we'd provide the meat and desserts and if every one else could please bring a side dish and that we needed no presents. We specifically asked everyone not to bring us presents we were combining two households and had too much stuff as it was. It worked.

Jen

[ourbabygirl]

Wow- thanks for all the responses!
It's for a Halloween party- I would never do it for a shower, bday party, wedding, etc. either :ROTFLMAO:!
We've never done one or even accepted when friends have offered to bring something to one of our parties. I just feel like, if we're going to have a party, why expect anyone else to bring stuff to it when we're hosting? DH feels the same way. But now that we're a 1-income family, and we've been to some parties where we've offered to bring a dish and the hosts have accepted, I thought maybe it could work. But I think, ultimately, he and I would feel weird about asking people to bring something. Maybe if someone offers, we'll accept, but won't mention it otherwise.

[kijip]

We do informal gatherings with friends as potlucks sometimes. In big settings (like school) I think the by last name system works well but for smaller parties in a home, I think a themed party works best. Like everyone bring a soup ingredient or everyone bring something to make pizza with or everyone bring a salad or everyone bring your favorite food with a mexican theme or a french theme or hosts are making say fried chicken and everyone should bring a southern side.

I hate attending free for all potlucks anymore where there is no plan, because it seems no one bring a flipping entree or a nice dessert. There are only so many meals I can consume only baby carrots, hummus, bread, crackers, store bought cookies, chips and cut fruit from Costco. I brought Sausage and Peppers (with pasta) to a somewhat recent potluck and you would have thought I had arrived with the only food anyone had ever seen...because it was the only entree on the table.

Edited to clarify- we don't host potlucks. By definition, potlucks are not hosted :P We tend to have dinner parties. But I attend potlucks at other people's home. I agree that for a b-day, wedding, shower it's just not my thing.

[kijip]

Wow- thanks for all the responses!
It's for a Halloween party- I would never do it for a shower, bday party, wedding, etc. either :ROTFLMAO:!
We've never done one or even accepted when friends have offered to bring something to one of our parties. I just feel like, if we're going to have a party, why expect anyone else to bring stuff to it when we're hosting? DH feels the same way. But now that we're a 1-income family, and we've been to some parties where we've offered to bring a dish and the hosts have accepted, I thought maybe it could work. But I think, ultimately, he and I would feel weird about asking people to bring something. Maybe if someone offers, we'll accept, but won't mention it otherwise.

I would do it for a Halloween party. It's fall, think soup and salads or something cooperative like build a pizza night.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Now that I know it's a Halloween party and not a b-day party I say go for the potluck. :) Spend the $ on fun decorations instead. :)

Beth

[ourbabygirl]

Yeah, I totally know what you mean! I've been to lots of parties with a plethora of desserts and chips (the easy things), but no 'main course' fare or healthy options! Not a substantial meal, for sure.

[SnuggleBuggles]

What about providing the entree- burgers, pizza, chili, pulled pork...and asking people to bring the other stuff?

Beth

[kransden]

It doesn't bother me at all. I go to lots of them. Often people are to busy to cook for a crowd and a pot luck is an easy way to get together and share the load.

Actually dd's 2nd b-day was potluck. We had about 50 people. We had hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, cake etc. I said bring a side item if you wished. I just couldn't do it all. People were very understanding, after all we'd had been friends for over 10 years. Only 1 person was miffed. The divorced dad that had never been at one of my parties before. That was more due to a miscommunication. He didn't have to bring anything, but ex-wife said he did. (The kid exchange was at my house.)

Just make sure you provide a main dish. You can make it themed or a suprise! It can be lots of fun!!!

[DrSally]

ITA, you should do the potluck! To avoid the no entree's thing, I have done an evite thing and you can list different items (entree, dessert, salad, etc.) and people choose one. When there's no more "appetizers" left, then people have to choose something else. It gives motivation to RSVP earlier. I could see how this would be easier to pull off with a bunch of grad students though. Another idea is for you to do the main course and just ask for salads, appetizers, dessert, etc.

[twindad]

Our neighbors always throw a Halloween party and it is a potluck. They provide pulled pork sandwiches and chili and ask people to bring a side or a dessert. It's always fun and there is plenty of food.

[Melaine]

I love them. It really makes entertaining regularly doable for us (well, we haven't been lately, but in the past).

[lchang25000]

I love potlucks! I like it for mainly informal, casual gatherings. It's nice since the responsibility of cooking/providing food does not fall on just one person. Plus, it's interesting to see who brings/makes what.

[TwinFoxes]

Wow- thanks for all the responses!
It's for a Halloween party- I would never do it for a shower, bday party, wedding, etc. either :ROTFLMAO:!
We've never done one or even accepted when friends have offered to bring something to one of our parties. I just feel like, if we're going to have a party, why expect anyone else to bring stuff to it when we're hosting? DH feels the same way. But now that we're a 1-income family, and we've been to some parties where we've offered to bring a dish and the hosts have accepted, I thought maybe it could work. But I think, ultimately, he and I would feel weird about asking people to bring something. Maybe if someone offers, we'll accept, but won't mention it otherwise.

I'll be the lone voice in the wilderness. :duck: I have no problem ATTENDING potlucks, but I agree with you about hosting a potluck. If I'm throwing a party, I'm throwing a party. I don't expect anyone to bring anything, and I would never make someone feel like they have to bring something, which by definition a potluck does.

[Piglet]

My mom and I have had this same argument countless times. Can you humour me? If you have no problem as a guest why would you have the problem as the host? In other words - if the goal of a good host is to have happy guests and the guests like potluck then hasn't the host done a good job? My mom likes to bring food but would never ask a guest to bring anything. As a guest I LOVE when I don't have to come up with a hostess gift and I can contribute an actual useful part of the meal and help out the host. So again, the guest is now happy andthe host has done a good job pleasing the guest.

[HannaAddict]

Pot lucks are not big in our area. I would never have one, if I am hosting, I want to host and would prefer not to have other food, brought. I'm okay with bread or beer or wine, but not food. I would probably order pizza and get a veggie tray if I was on a tight budget. I have nothing against someone having a pot luck, but I probably will only eat what I brought. They kind of gross me out, like a buffet does. Food prepared ahead of time, by who knows who, not knowing if it was kept hot or cold enough, etc. doesn't appeal to me at all. We did a Halloween party last year and also did a pumpkin carving party the year before with pizza, etc. and people who came brought beverages and microbrew beers. That worked fine.

[maestramommy]

I like potlucks! I think every gathering I've been to since moving here has been a potluck. I get to see dishes I've never seen, swap recipes, etc. They're a lot of fun!

[sunshine873]

I agree with this. If it's a casual "friends" thing, it makes sense. If they're not expected to bring any kind of other gift, bringing food seems reasonable.

:yeahthat: We do potlucks all the time. Usually the person hosting provides the meat (burgers & dogs) and everyone else brings a side or a sweet. But you can do a full-on potluck too, where people can bring main dishes, etc. Those are the kinds I grew up with and I like those better...you get to try lots of different things!

[pinkmomagain]

I'll be the lone voice in the wilderness. :duck: I have no problem ATTENDING potlucks, but I agree with you about hosting a potluck. If I'm throwing a party, I'm throwing a party. I don't expect anyone to bring anything, and I would never make someone feel like they have to bring something, which by definition a potluck does.

I lean towards this thinking as well.

[fivi2]

Pot lucks are not big in our area. I would never have one, if I am hosting, I want to host and would prefer not to have other food, brought. I'm okay with bread or beer or wine, but not food. I would probably order pizza and get a veggie tray if I was on a tight budget. I have nothing against someone having a pot luck, but I probably will only eat what I brought. They kind of gross me out, like a buffet does. Food prepared ahead of time, by who knows who, not knowing if it was kept hot or cold enough, etc. doesn't appeal to me at all. We did a Halloween party last year and also did a pumpkin carving party the year before with pizza, etc. and people who came brought beverages and microbrew beers. That worked fine.

So glad someone else said this! I am okay with ones at a neutral site (like a group of friends meeting at the park), but would never host one. I feel like if I am inviting people over I shouldn't ask them to do any work. I have been to a few, the food usually grosses me out, like pp, and I completely stress out over what to bring. JMO!

[egoldber]

Potlucks, for some odd reason, seem to be one of those highly polarizing internet topics (another is "should children be at weddings/showers"). ;) I've seen it over and over on various message boards. Not saying *this* thread is heated, but I swear I've seen all out flame wars on other boards over potlucks. :ROTFLMAO:

I think you should do what you and your circle of friends are comfortable with. There seem to be highly variable views on this based on region and social circle.

[TwinFoxes]

My mom and I have had this same argument countless times. Can you humour me? If you have no problem as a guest why would you have the problem as the host? In other words - if the goal of a good host is to have happy guests and the guests like potluck then hasn't the host done a good job? My mom likes to bring food but would never ask a guest to bring anything. As a guest I LOVE when I don't have to come up with a hostess gift and I can contribute an actual useful part of the meal and help out the host. So again, the guest is now happy andthe host has done a good job pleasing the guest.

I believe you were asking me this?

I think you took my comment "I have no problem attending" as being much more supportive of potlucks than I am. Unlike your mom, I hate having to bring food places, which is one reason I'd never ask anyone to bring something to a party. When I said I had no problem attending, I meant I don't judge people for throwing a potluck, and I'd be a sport and go, but they're not tops on my list of fun parties.

I hate it when people bring food to parties I give. I don't find it useful. If I wanted to serve bean dip, I would make it. But now that you've brought it, let me find a place for it, and a serving spoon, and I'm sure it will be delicious with the sushi I made. ;)

Hostess gifts I couldn't care less about. But I also hate favors, I'm just not a "here's a random thing just 'cuz" kind of person.

[DrSally]

Hostess gifts I couldn't care less about. But I also hate favors, I'm just not a "here's a random thing just 'cuz" kind of person.

I actually think favors (for kid's parties) can be very thoughtful and nice, but not too expensive--blasa wood plane, thomas train, nice items bought on clearance, etc.. Of course, no one wants a cheap choking hazard that some party favors tend to be.

[catpagmo]

What about providing the entree- burgers, pizza, chili, pulled pork...and asking people to bring the other stuff?

Beth

:yeahthat: That way you're sure to have an entree, plus lots of other goodies. I love potlucks! I think it's a great idea for a Halloween party!

[AnnieW625]

I love potlucks! That is totally acceptable. We went to one last year and it went flawlessly. Lots of variety and yummy food!

[TwinFoxes]

I actually think favors (for kid's parties) can be very thoughtful and nice, but not too expensive--blasa wood plane, thomas train, nice items bought on clearance, etc.. Of course, no one wants a cheap choking hazard that some party favors tend to be.

I meant for grown ups...still haven't been to a kid party! :) I'm sure I'll start going soon!

[slworld]

Depends on the occasion, imo. A Superbowl Party? No problem with that being potluck? A birthday? Not a big fan. Really I think if you invite people you should be prepared to host- and provide all food.



:yeahthat: If its not a special occasion in your family and just a get together or something then it should be ok. But I don't like potlucks for b'days etc (unless a few of you are throwing a party for someone and the hosts decide to to do a potluck). But then again I am lazy & hate cooking so mine may not be the best opinion :-).

[maestramommy]

Potlucks, for some odd reason, seem to be one of those highly polarizing internet topics (another is "should children be at weddings/showers"). ;) I've seen it over and over on various message boards. Not saying *this* thread is heated, but I swear I've seen all out flame wars on other boards over potlucks. :ROTFLMAO:
.

wow, seriously?:eek:

[MelissaTC]

We go to a potluck Halloween party every year. The hostess picks a theme and indicates different types of dishes on the evite. She always provides drinks, a main dish and a dessert. It works out well.

[karenj2]

I don't mind potlucks, even for showers/bdays, etc., but it's probably because I've been brainwashed my DH's side of the family.

The two times I've hosted a party (baby shower & something else) with that side of the family, I was TOLD to just clean my house, and they'd do the rest! (Of course it helps that my MIL is one of 14). I actually got irked 'cause I wanted to supply the entree, and was told no. :) I will admit, it helps me to enjoy the party more, too, because I'm not worrying about food.

The most recent party I hosted was my sister's bridal shower (co-ed), and my other sister & provided all the food for that (along with my mom).

[egoldber]

wow, seriously?

Alas, I am afraid so.

[ThreeofUs]

I love potlucks! We often do 'main dish' parties, where we supply all main and associated dishes, and everyone else brings appetizers, side dishes and desserts. Very yummy - and not a hardship for guests.

[DrSally]

Cute picture, Ivy!

[KBecks]

Potlucks TASTE GOOD! yUMMY!

[Corie]

We just had a big Fajita Party.

We provided:

Fajitas & all the fixings for fajitas
Refried Beans
Rice
3 different desserts made by me (Avocado Pie, Monkey Bread, Margarita Cake)


We also provided:

lots and lots of alcohol
(We had a margarita machine serving margaritas and my DH bought 6 cases
of different Mexican beer labeled in coolers.)


Everyone that came to the party brought a side dish. Guacemole, rice & beans
dish, etc.