Anyone else's DC think school is "boring"?

[sarahsthreads]

And do I need to contact her teacher about it yet?

Kindergarten just started on Tuesday, and DD1 has gotten off the bus every day saying that school is boring. I don't even attempt to ask her any details about her day until dinnertime, she's volunteering that she finds school boring.

Now, I expect that there's probably a lot of less than interesting stuff the first few days, while they go over schedules and rules and whatnot, but it seems like *something* should be exciting to her in a whole day of school, no? Her favorite part is riding the bus home.

Also, today she had barely eaten any of the lunch I packed and when I asked her why she said lunch was short today, that they didn't really have any time to eat. This is kind of concerning to me, but for all I know she was just eating slowly or talking too much and it wasn't actually short. She finished her lunch after she got off the bus, and was clearly famished, even though they have an afternoon snack.

I'm also kind of surprised that the teacher hasn't contacted us in any way (a note in her folder or otherwise) because all the other new kindergartners we know have had little updates home already - some even got phone calls letting the parents know how the first day or two went.

Maybe I'm just too used to the daily schedule and communication in preschool, but I'm worried because I have no idea what's going on with her during the seven hours she's away from me every day and she doesn't seem happy or excited about school in any way. When we do get details about her day out of her at dinnertime it seems like she's doing activities that she would normally enjoy, but she just insists that school is boring.

Is this normal? Should I be concerned about her saying that school is boring? She still gets on the bus willingly in the morning, but when I asked her to help me pick out her clothes for tomorrow she said she wanted to wear a shirt that said "I feel sad". She wouldn't elaborate and I don't want to push it, but I'm really starting to worry...

Thanks,
Sarah

[SnuggleBuggles]

The first few weeks of kindergarten are often boring. They are learning rules and routine. She is probably used to things that may be interesting to other kids- story time, art...so they aren't worth getting excited about. kwim? Assure her that it will get better. I think it is also too soon to be going to the teacher about boredom issues. She/he probably knows that it's dull. :)

My ds comes home starving even when he does eat a good lunch. I practically make him a full meal when he comes home. They get a snack 1.5 hours before he gets home too at school!

Last year we didn't hear anything from the teachers till Friday- the day they published the weekly First Grade Newsletter. Maybe you'll get something like that. If not, it might not hurt to ask the teacher to keep you in the loop more b/c your dd isn't very forthcoming.

I absolutely adored ds1's kindergarten. Every day they emailed out a bullet list of the day's highlights (projects they did, games they played...). I loved it because it was great for opening a dialogue with the kids. I have suggested that at my ds1's new school and haven't gotten anywhere with it. :(

Beth

[sarahsthreads]

See I figured all that. I wasn't really expecting kindergarten to be challenging. And I suppose she doesn't really know anyone in her class yet, so it's going to take time before she's looking forward to the social aspect of it too.

I guess wasn't thinking so much that I wanted the teacher to know that DD1 thinks school is boring, but more that I need to know if she's happy while she's there. If she seems to be enjoying her time there, but coming home and feeling like there isn't much worth reporting, I could be OK with that.

I have no idea if there's any sort of weekly update, but I guess I will wait to see if anything comes home tomorrow before I really get too worked up. I love the idea of the daily email, I wish we had that! If nothing comes home in her folder tomorrow I guess I can email the teacher and ask her to give me a call when she has some time next week.

Thanks!
Sarah :)

[deannanb]

is she coming from a preschool that was lovey dovey and cozy family friendly?
now she is in a school which has to follow state rules about how to teach

and with lunch, you will find all the extra excitement takes away from actually eating the lunch in the time that is a little short.

my last thought was the age of the kids in the class - my DS is the exact same age as your DD - but won't start K until next year - our cut off is September 1 - so how many of the kids in the class are already 6 versus just turned 5 or still 4

[KpbS]

I'd contact the teacher but w/o any mention of DD's reaction to the first days. I would simply ask how things were going (in general w/ the class and w/ DD specifically) and ask what they have been focusing on the first few days so you could dialogue w/ DD about her time at school.

With DD one on one I would ask her if she is missing anyone or anything (an activity perhaps from preschool). I would definitely be concerned w/ the sadness. Is this mood uncharacteristic for her? Is this particular teacher fairly strict? Does the combined class have a significantly different atmosphere than a "regular" kindergarten?

:hug:

[sarahsthreads]

my last thought was the age of the kids in the class - my DS is the exact same age as your DD - but won't start K until next year - our cut off is September 1 - so how many of the kids in the class are already 6 versus just turned 5 or still 4

She's in a combined K/1 class, so there are definitely kids who are 6, there could be a few that will be 7 soon. The cutoff here is 12/1. And it's complicated, because she's already a proficient, prolific reader, so there was really no way for her to stay home another year.

Her preschool was in our church - her class had 12 kids with 2 teachers, and she's gone to 20 kids (10 kindergartners/10 first graders) with 1 teacher. So it was definitely cozier. I suppose I ought to give her more than 3 days to get used to the new environment...it really is quite different!

Thanks!
Sarah :)

[sarahsthreads]

I'd contact the teacher but w/o any mention of DD's reaction to the first days. I would simply ask how things were going (in general w/ the class and w/ DD specifically) and ask what they have been focusing on the first few days so you could dialogue w/ DD about her time at school.

With DD one on one I would ask her if she is missing anyone or anything (an activity perhaps from preschool). I would definitely be concerned w/ the sadness. Is this mood uncharacteristic for her? Is this particular teacher fairly strict? Does the combined class have a significantly different atmosphere than a "regular" kindergarten?

:hug:
Thanks, that sounds like a good way to contact the teacher.

I actually thought the atmosphere of the combined class would be better for her. They pair up the older and younger kids so they each have a "buddy". Somehow I thought that would make the transition a little easier. Plus, since there are only 10 kids who are new to school out of the class of 20 I figured the teacher would have an easier time making sure the newer ones were doing OK instead of having 20 kids brand new to school.

Like I said, she might really be fine during school. For all I know the fact that they've apparently read "The Kissing Hand" every day so far this week is putting ideas in her head! At least, that's the book Chester the raccoon is in, right? So I'm assuming that's what they heard based on her description. But I am so concerned that she seems to be sad. She always looked forward to preschool days and had happy stories to tell when she came home.

Thanks!
Sarah

[egoldber]

I agree that sending a brief e-mail to the teacher asaking how things are going may help get some feedback. I would NOT say the b word because it will almost certainly get the teacher's back up. Maybe ask about lunch and expressing some (mild) concern about her not eating lunch and asking the teacher to help encourage her. Or asking if she can finish her lunch in the clasroom (some teachers are open to this).


and with lunch, you will find all the extra excitement takes away from actually eating the lunch in the time that is a little short.

:yeahthat: Especially if lunch is at a time she's not used to eating at, it may take a few weeks for her to get used to eating at that time. But Sarah STILL often comes home having not eaten half her lunch because she talked too much or they had to cut lunch short for some reason. It happens.

Also, if the expectation at your school is that K kids get a little note home by now and her teacher has not, then it may be that her teacher may not be particularly organized or on the ball. It happens. Teachers are people with a wide range of personalities and skills.

[caleymama]

I'd contact the teacher but w/o any mention of DD's reaction to the first days. I would simply ask how things were going (in general w/ the class and w/ DD specifically) and ask what they have been focusing on the first few days so you could dialogue w/ DD about her time at school.

I really like this idea.

DD2 started K last week and I'm still not getting much info out of her and I have not had any personal communication from her teacher.

I also wanted to agree with Beth about the lunch thing. They don't have all that long to begin with and then with the novelty of the cafeteria, the novelty of the lunch box and its contents, etc. DD2 is not always finishing. Seems like each day she's eating more so she must be getting used to things. DD1 (2nd grade) has many days where she doesn't eat a lot for whatever reason - she's pretty easily distracted/excited. They both make up for it at home after school, though.

You may be on to something about The Kissing Hand having an effect on her mood. Perhaps it's putting an idea into her head about how she should feel. Or maybe there is another kid in the class who is having a tough transition. I've noticed that stuff like that can be somewhat "contagious" and even if my DD would not have felt that way on her own, having it pointed out to her makes it all of a sudden a big deal.

:hug: It's tough. DD2 has been absolutely exhausted. She fell asleep on the couch yesterday at 5:30 and was down for the night. I think it's just a lot for her to process and when she's *on* all day at school she just doesn't have it in her to be chatty about it at home. Once in a while she offers up random tidbits (like so and so peeled their grapes at lunchtime! LOL), but for the most part she just wants to be home and doing/talking about home stuff right now after school.

[sarahsthreads]

All right, I'm going to be patient as you all (and DH) have suggested and see if something comes home in her folder today. If not, I'm going to email the teacher asking how the first few days have gone (both in general and specifically how DD1 is faring) and also if she needs any parent volunteers for anything. I definitely won't use the word "bored" - in fact, DH and I have both felt like saying "You keeping using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means..." (Inconceivable!)

I'm also going to ask my mom to casually ask DD1 about school, because she has opened up to my MIL (a former kindergarten teacher) on the phone but I didn't get to hear most of the conversation. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to *me* about it. At least if she talks with my mom I'll get a whole replay of the conversation later!

Sarah :)

[KrystalS]

I could have written your exact post! DD has been in kindergarten for one month. The first 2-3 wks she came home every day and told me it was boring, everything they did she already knew. This week has been so much better. They are getting more into math, reading, etc. DD can read a little, but she is still learning. I would just say be patient, hopefully it gets better like it did for us!

As for lunch, I definitely don't think they get enough time. DD rarely eats everything I pack. She came home yesterday and told me she didn't have time to eat. She took crackers, cheese and pudding, she said she got one bite of her pudding and they made her throw it away because they didn't have time! I'm sure it takes some time to get used to eating in the lunch room but I think they need to give the younger ones some more time.

I'm like you I got so used to the daily communication in preschool that kindergarten has been a big change. DDs teacher only sends home info on Fridays and its usually just a newsletter so all the parents get the same info. I would really like something more personal just so I know how DD is doing in class. DD doesn't give much detail about her day at home.

[hez]

DS just started first, and says school is boring (except for Recess & Gym), but everything he's brought home is a review of K so far. We're giving it a month to see if he's more challenged when the review work is done. If not, we'll talk to his teacher to see if she's noticed & has ideas for him.

On the plus side, we get a weekly class newsletter telling us what they did over the past week and what they'll do over the next week. Very helpful conversation starter for those days when I ask, "So, what did you do in school today?" and he responds with, "I can't remember."

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I could have written your exact post! DD has been in kindergarten for one month. The first 2-3 wks she came home every day and told me it was boring, everything they did she already knew. This week has been so much better. They are getting more into math, reading, etc. DD can read a little, but she is still learning. I would just say be patient, hopefully it gets better like it did for us!



Just out of curiosity, what are they doing in your K? I wouldn't say my son has learned anything concrete (math/reading) that he didn't know, but he is having a great time. They are always doing projects, making books, learning poems, etc., and even though they're doing sorting/classifying for math and phonics right now for reading, he is really having a blast and he is learning about procedures, following directions, phonetic writing. Today they are cooking to celebrate the end of their color books they just finished - the last page is "red is a cherry pie," so they are making individual cherry pies. Certainly doesn't seem boring!

[wolverine2]

I'm an elementary school counselor and I can tell you that there are plenty of kids who look like they are having fun all day and then go home and tell their parents that school is boring. Boring usually doesn't mean boring. It can mean "I'm tired and I don't really want to talk right now," or "it's all new and overwhelming" or "it's hard" (though that doesn't sound like your DD's case). I wouldn't worry about it at all- especially so early in the year. Like a PP said, it's all about routines at this point- they're not even starting with anything that interesting yet.

I think it's totally fine to contact the teacher (can you e-mail?) and just say you wanted to check in and see how her first week is going. Teachers expect that.

Good luck!

[bubbaray]

My DD#1 also started FI K on Tuesday. Plus, they do this insane graduated entry here -- Tuesday was 20minutes, Wed & thurs were 1 hr and today is 1.5 hrs. M & T next week are no-class days for the K's (parent teacher interviews), they start regular hours (2.5 hrs) next Wednesday.

My DD#1 says, at different times, that it is "fun", they are learning songs in French (!) and they play lots (play based curriculum). Then this morning she said she d/n want to go b/c it was boring. So, I dunno. She was upset at the short hours initially.

I am going to be asking more questions at our P/T conference next week. I wasn't really expecting a whole lot out of this year generally. They don't really have any expectations, other than that the children will have fun and learn to enjoy school. There are no real math or language skills required by the end of the year. They don't even need to be reading. No homework either (other than reading to the children nightly, which we already do).

DD#1 is already talking about G1. I think I have a keener!

[jse107]

I'm an elementary school counselor and I can tell you that there are plenty of kids who look like they are having fun all day and then go home and tell their parents that school is boring. Boring usually doesn't mean boring. It can mean "I'm tired and I don't really want to talk right now," or "it's all new and overwhelming" or "it's hard" (though that doesn't sound like your DD's case). I wouldn't worry about it at all- especially so early in the year. Like a PP said, it's all about routines at this point- they're not even starting with anything that interesting yet.

I think it's totally fine to contact the teacher (can you e-mail?) and just say you wanted to check in and see how her first week is going. Teachers expect that.

Good luck!

Also an elementary school counselor here, and I would like to DITTO THAT ENTIRE POST!

[Karenn]

DS never has enough time to eat his lunch. I think there's a fine line between providing enough time for kids to finish, and making quick eaters sit there with nothing to do but make mischief while their friends finish. ;) DS & I have talked a lot about what kinds of things I can pack that are "quick" and brainstormed a few strategies for "quick eating." We've also talked about eating the most important or filling thing first.

I remember not getting nearly as much communication as I wanted that first week (or even two) of Kindergarten. I think part of it was that his teacher saved all communication for the "friday folder." I think too, that I was just really desperate for any little bit of news those first few days because everything was so new. It made Friday seem like an eternity away. Waiting another week for "back to school night" so that I could hear about curriculum and meet other parents seemed like an even longer wait! In the end, this teacher turned out to be a fantastic communicator. I just had to learn to wait for Fridays. :)

[lfp2n]

My DD is in 1st grade and has always said school is boring and shes glad when its weekend, and her favourite part is the bus recess and lunch. But she actually has friends, has fun, and teachers say shes engaged and happy etc. So I'm not worried.

I think in the overall picture shes just the sort of kid who prefers being home, and 2, as PP said boring doesn't mean boring it means they expect me to learn things and that's hard, follow rules, that's hard, etc etc which is what school is about, but that doesn't mean its boring as we'd see it.

I do think the beginning of the grade seems like a lot of review, yesterday they sent home books that were Sam sat on the mat, which was the level of first semester in K, so Im not sure why they feel the need to go back so far with the same group of kids.

[jk3]

The fact that she is saying she is bored does not neccessarily mean she isn't being challenged. It takes kids up to 2 months to adjust to a new school and/or a new grade. It can be exhausting to go through the day and follow the routines.

Have you attended BTS night yet? Does the teacher send home newsletters about what is going on in the classroom so you can ask your child specific questions?

As for lunch, many children do not have enough time to eat because they spend the bulk of the time socializing and talking. My oldest is not a big eater but at least half of his lunch comes home in his lunch box every day because he is excited to sit and chat with his friends.

[Piglet]

I'm an elementary school counselor and I can tell you that there are plenty of kids who look like they are having fun all day and then go home and tell their parents that school is boring. Boring usually doesn't mean boring. It can mean "I'm tired and I don't really want to talk right now," or "it's all new and overwhelming" or "it's hard" (though that doesn't sound like your DD's case). I wouldn't worry about it at all- especially so early in the year. Like a PP said, it's all about routines at this point- they're not even starting with anything that interesting yet.

I think it's totally fine to contact the teacher (can you e-mail?) and just say you wanted to check in and see how her first week is going. Teachers expect that.

Good luck!

Yes, I can totally see this! I also think sometimes they get the idea that school is supopsed to be boring (form older kids in the school, TV, etc.). Many times I have talked to DC and gotten negative reports only to speak to the teacher and discover that they were having a blast and the teacher was shocked that they would be upset. Also with some kids (my DS2) they are very sensitive to 1 thing going wrong and it colours their view of the whole experience. For example, DS2 likes to suck his fingers. One well-meaning daycare teacher told him that he could suck them at nap time but not during the day. He didn't tell us what was wrong but kept telling us that he didn't like his teacher. The teacher was the kindest soul, so it made us all scratch our heads. After a week of asking hmi, he told us what happened. A short chat with the teacher resolved the problem and he never complained again.

[egoldber]

Also, lunch is one of the few times at school when kids can freely talk, so lots of them would rather talk than eat!

The early days of each K, 1 and 2 were hard for Sarah because it was a lot of review. Every year the teacher has to assess each kid and figure out where they are. For those kids who actually do NOT do any reading over the summer, even if they were reading Sam sat on the mat at the end of K, then they may have lost that. Also that is appropriate end of K reading level. For many (most?) incoming first graders, that is their level.

Also one of the things that Sarah finds "boring" is the wait time between activities. She was SO excited the other day because she told me "This year the teacher doesn't wait for everyone to finish the math problem before moving on, he expects us all to be quick and there's no waiting!" She is not a patient kid and while yes, patience is a virtue, it can be excruciating even for an adult, much less a young child when their few resources for self entertainment (talking and playing) are often not available to them in the classroom. There is a LOT of waiting and the waiting between activties can be boring even if the activities themselves are not.

[KrystalS]

Just out of curiosity, what are they doing in your K? ...

I wouldn't say they are really doing anything that DD didn't already know just things that interest her. Lots of counting patterns and "word problems". Like how many red squares, how many blue, which group has more, etc. DD really enjoys stuff like that.

I have to say that I think DD could be doing so much more. She really isn't being challenged.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

Sounds very similar to what my son's K is doing right now! Thanks for sharing.

[StantonHyde]

DS thinks that anything other than gym, recess, and lunch is boring. God forbid you should have to do actual work. Everyday in K, he would say he didn't want to go, but he did fine and had friends. He thinks the alternative would be to stay in pjs and watch cartoons all day!!!!

[sarahsthreads]

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a little better about the situation, DD1 came home with lots of silly little details about her day - like that *her* teacher has a BELL to call them in from recess instead of a whistle like all the other teachers, and isn't that GREAT?!? - that make me think she's probably having fun while there and just overtired and overwhelmed by the end of the day.

Plus she managed to eat her whole lunch again, so three days out of four she did have plenty of time (it looks like) to eat lunch. Maybe there was some fluke the other day.

I still plan to email the teacher (she sent home a newsletter that just said we were all welcome to contact her) and ask how DD1 is doing while she's there and if there are any volunteer opportunities she has that I can help with.

I think it will be better as time goes on. Thanks for all the reassurances that this can be normal!

Sarah :)

[essnce629]

I think this is common in the beginning. My son just started 1st grade on Wed and has said every single day that it is boring and that they aren't doing anything fun. He said everything they've done so far is "baby" and he already knows everything. But we also just moved cross-country and he has to start all over again making friends. He has one friend so far. I think the first few weeks is just a lot of review and the teacher trying to figure out where each kid is at reading-wise, math-wise, etc. My son said that on Friday they made him read some material, but it was all three letter words and way too easy (he started reading at the end of preschool and reads really well now). He was also mad that they sang "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" in class, which he said is for babies. "I'm 6, not 4" was his response! I'm also giving it a few more weeks to see how things settle down.