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BeachBum
09-18-2009, 08:14 AM
Well I'll open the thread for this month, but I'm not proprietary so come October someone else feel free. :) Anyone can feel free to throw out a QOTD (question of the day) to help spark some discussion.

I guess let's start out with introductions. Please share the ages of your kids, if they are fraternal or identical and any other info about you. If you feel comfy sharing pics, please do :)

I'm mom to 3 boys. My oldest is 4, and my fraternal twin boys will be 8 months later this week.

They are getting to be so much fun! But we are still struggling with sleep. They will fall asleep on their own, but we still have multiple night wakings (about every 2 hours for one and 3.5 hours for the other). We just separated their bedrooms this past week, so I'm hoping that will help.
Both boys are crawling and cruising. While I am a bit scared for them to walk, so many moms tell me it got easier then. Any BTDT to share?

Melaine
09-18-2009, 08:27 AM
Yay! I am excited about this, thanks for starting!

My girls are identical and will be 3 in a month. We did not find out we were having twins until 20 weeks and I am still shell-shocked, to be honest. My OBGYN had never diagnosed twins that late in a pregnancy before (still a little mad at him about it, actually) and he was floored.
They were 6 weeks early and in the NICU for 2, born by C-section. Struggled with nursing from day 1. I struggled to pump for four months when I switched completely to formula. Girls had reflux and colic. One day I counted and we went through over 50 bibs in one day. They would spit up every time we turned around. They didn't sleep through the night until a little past age 1, and still have frequent wakings at night.
Being a twin mommy has been VERY hard for me. I don't feel I have adjusted very well. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and a few months ago went back off the meds.
To be a little less negative (and to share with those with younger twins), things have gotten easier and easier. You know how people say that it is harder once they crawl because they are all over the place, etc? Well, for us every new stage has brought a little relief. The more independence and mobility they get, the better. Also, as they get older the "benefits" of twins becomes more apparent.
I find it difficult not to wish the time away, because I want to enjoy each stage. But I can't help looking forward to age 5-6 when we will be beyond a lot of the little kid dependence stuff, ykwim?
Right now, my girls are at a really funny stage. They just crack me up. We recently went on a little mini-vacation to Atlanta and it was honestly a blessing. For the first time, I felt we were functioning like a typical family with two children, not a super-neurotic, overwhelmed, frazzled family with super sensitive and uptight twins. We had a great time, and the girls really enjoyed the change rather than rebelled against it.
I guess that's enough for one post!

la mama
09-18-2009, 09:16 AM
I have b/g twins who are 13 months old. They're very fraternal, although we still get the "are they identical?" question, skinny and blonde DS, stout and brunette DD. They're crawling and cruising but not full-on walking yet. Sometimes I feel a little guilty because they started sleeping through the night around 3 months and have done pretty well since then. We were surprised to be pregnant in the first place and then at my first appt. at 9 weeks, we were flabbergasted when the doctor said, "oh!" "Good oh or bad oh?" "Well, that depends, you're having twins!" Cue blank stares back and forth and stupid grins.

We're in the stage where they're learning how to entertain each other, by playing peek-a-boo around furniture and doorways, playing tug-o-war with toys (otherwise known as fighting over toys but sometimes it makes them giggle instead of cry) and dancing.

One thing that amazes me about twins, or maybe it's just mine, is how even though they eat the exact same things, there is a 2 lb. difference between them (DD is heavier) and their BMs are so different (sorry if that's TMI).

I'm so happy to have this be more of a regular conversation. I would always skim through the new posts to see if there were any new multiple threads but was usually left with nothing. I'm part of a MOTC group but I think it might be easier to ask questions here, since you can all answer at your leisure and don't have to think of an immediate response. Looking forward to giving and receiving lots of good advice!

fivi2
09-18-2009, 10:04 AM
Hi! My identical girls will be 4 in December. They were also a little over 6 weeks early and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. We were unable to nurse, so I pumped for about 11 months. The first 6 months or so was HARD. They started sleeping better around then, so everything improved. It has never been as hard has those first few months, although we have had some challening times! They were also a surprise, but we found out at 12 weeks.

I didn't mind crawling much, but walking was tricky. They were both runners, so I had to have gates and leashes and keep them in the stroller in parking lots. Then things got better for a while, but now we are in a major defiant stage. We have several discipline issues, actually :)

As I said in the other thread, they just started preschool. Before that their only sitters had been my sister and one playgroup mom that we have known for years (And is the mom of one of their good friends). They jumped right in at school and apparently didn't play together at all!

Our current dilemma is whether or not to have a third dc. I really want one, but worry about my sanity! And I worry that a third will feel left out from the twins. And, the girls are getting older, so it would be a bigger gap than I would have liked... But, I still want a third :)

mom2beofboy/girltwins
09-18-2009, 10:35 AM
Hi. I have B/G twins that are 5.5 months old. We tried for 3 years to get preg eventually resorting to fertility treatments. Because of that, we found out very early (I think at about 6 wks) that we were expecting multiples. We knew that was a possibility when we started treatments but figured 2 babies are better than none, right? :)

I spent 2 months on bedrest with a terbutaline pump (good times, good times....) but the babies made it to 36W 1D and spent no time in the NICU!! Did have to have a csection though because both babies were breech.

Everyone is healthy and doing well, continuing to slowly catch up with more normal size percentiles, but they're still kinda skinny babies. I totally agree with la mama though, don't understand how they can eat the same but DS is totally outgaining DD!

It was super hard in the beginning, although I don't have to tell any of you that, to the point where we were like "what did we do?!?!?", but it is thankfully getting easier and they are starting to become a lot more fun to be around.

For the most part they're only eating once between 6:30 pm and 7 am so that's pretty good, but I had to seperate them to get them sleeping better and now I'm afraid to put them back together in fear that we'll take a step backwards in the sleeping dept.

My biggest stress at the moment is that I have to go back to work in a couple weeks and they'll be starting daycare at my work. It's a really good daycare, but I'm now feeling extemely torn about leaving them there and being away from them. I also feel like I can barely hold things together on a daily basis (groceries, laundry, cleaning, bills, etc) and I don't know how I'm going to add work to the mix. Not going back to work is not an option financially so I guess I just have to figure it out. I'm hoping that we'll eventually get into a routine and it won't be too bad. Just feel like I'm going to miss them alot. Any of you have a going back to work experience like this?

Melaine
09-18-2009, 11:17 AM
Our current dilemma is whether or not to have a third dc. I really want one, but worry about my sanity! And I worry that a third will feel left out from the twins. And, the girls are getting older, so it would be a bigger gap than I would have liked... But, I still want a third :)

I am in the same boat. I think DH could theoretically go either way about more children, but I feel very much that I want and need another child. I always wanted a larger family, but I think it comes down to more than that for me. I really feel like having a singleton would be somewhat healing for DH and I! (I hope you guys can sort of get my drift with this even though it sounds weird). Having twins is definitely a special blessing, and I am grateful. But I feel so jealous of the experience that others have with just one baby.

For example, I tend toward AP tendencies, but found as a first time mom of twins I didn't know how to apply it. I was never able to wear the girls, for example. And they just didn't get held as much as I would've liked for they were tiny because I was on my own almost from day 1 until DH got off work. I also still feel a little bitter that they never breastfed, but I know that is not specific to twins, just made more difficult with twins.

DH had no experience with babies (like 0) and was apprehensive about becoming a father. Having your first and second children at the same time meant that he almost had to step into the role of mother, if that makes any sense at all, just because I needed him. As a result, his experience at parenting has been all work and no play. I tell him having one child would be so much easier but this is all he has known, so not sure he gets the difference.

Sooo...I may be delusional, but I feel like having one baby at a time would just give us some of the fun of parenting that we missed the first time around.

fivi2
09-18-2009, 11:33 AM
I am in the same boat. I think DH could theoretically go either way about more children, but I feel very much that I want and need another child. I always wanted a larger family, but I think it comes down to more than that for me. I really feel like having a singleton would be somewhat healing for DH and I! (I hope you guys can sort of get my drift with this even though it sounds weird). Having twins is definitely a special blessing, and I am grateful. But I feel so jealous of the experience that others have with just one baby.

For example, I tend toward AP tendencies, but found as a first time mom of twins I didn't know how to apply it. I was never able to wear the girls, for example. And they just didn't get held as much as I would've liked for they were tiny because I was on my own almost from day 1 until DH got off work. I also still feel a little bitter that they never breastfed, but I know that is not specific to twins, just made more difficult with twins.

DH had no experience with babies (like 0) and was apprehensive about becoming a father. Having your first and second children at the same time meant that he almost had to step into the role of mother, if that makes any sense at all, just because I needed him. As a result, his experience at parenting has been all work and no play. I tell him having one child would be so much easier but this is all he has known, so not sure he gets the difference.

Sooo...I may be delusional, but I feel like having one baby at a time would just give us some of the fun of parenting that we missed the first time around.

We had many of the same experiences. I was never able to wear the girls, breastfeeding didn't happen, etc. My main issue is that, even though I always planned on two dc, I didn't plan on having them all at once! So we will have one first day of school, one graduation, one 16th birthday etc. I realize my girls are individuals, but still - we do hit all the major milestones at one time. And my girls reach everything within a day or two of each other (At this point).

Dh has some concerns, mostly financial, but he also worries how a new baby would affect his relationship with the girls. He hasn't said no way, but he would be happy to not have another. I am getting older - currently 35 - so that brings a new set of worries!

I do like in some ways how our family is getting older (potty trained, sleeping okay, no naps, vacations are finally fun as you noticed in Atlanta) and worry how we would go back to having a little baby.

I also think that we got pretty lucky with the girls - although I complain, and they can be challenging - for the most part they are good kids. If I have a super high maintenance baby on top of the twins... oof!

But, I still want one :)

la mama
09-18-2009, 12:14 PM
we're in the same boat here too, except that DH wants another DC as much as I do. We tried, got pregnant and lost little DC at 6 weeks. So now I was told I should wait 3 months before we try again, so in one more month we will. I knew I always wanted more than two so DH knew that from the beginning. I know some people like to wait until one is out of diapers before having another but I want to have them closer together if possible. I have my teaching degree but no license yet and I really want to fulfill my goal of being a teacher. Financially we're able to make it work with just DH's salary, right now anyway, so I'm staying home. The plan is that I stay home until all DC (current and hopefully future) are in school, we have 4K here. So I want to have another DC soon so I can go to work sooner rather than later. I don't want to have to wait to retire until 10 years after DH.

Also, totally agree with DH having become a mom almost. They are essential to a functioning family with twins and thankfully, DH has totally stepped up to the plate. He had zero experience with newborns but he said his fears went away when he saw how the doctor so confidently and easily held DC as they were born.

I want to experience the "ease" of a single pregnancy and having only one baby to hold. It's bound to be a little different, already having toddler twins, but I really want it. Thanks for listening.

gatorsmom
09-18-2009, 02:49 PM
I want to experience the "ease" of a single pregnancy and having only one baby to hold. It's bound to be a little different, already having toddler twins, but I really want it. Thanks for listening.

I have heard from moms who had their twins first that when a singleton baby came second the moms were amazed at how easy a singleton was! They laughed at all their friends who had singleton babies that they just weren't tough enough! I can understand that point of view. I used to complain about having my first and then my second. Having the twins third really changed my perspective on it all. :ROTFLMAO:

I'll come back and "chat" more later. Time now for naps. :)

Melaine
09-18-2009, 03:11 PM
My BF just had her first (singleton) baby and said to me matter-of-factly, "I won't get any sympathy from you, huh?"
I replied, "Basically, no".

twowhat?
09-18-2009, 03:30 PM
LOL. My OB has twins followed by singletons and he told me how singletons are "easy as pie" once you have twins. I believe him.

My fraternal girls just turned 1 year. Not walking yet but they're cruising and crawling. I found out it was twins at 8 weeks (first time I ever remember being speechless). I was very very very fortunate to have an uneventful and enjoyable pregnancy (I have to give credit to Barbara Luke's book for a lot of this). Delivered at 38 weeks c-section (unfortunately) because both were breech. I would not wish a c-section on anyone...it was a VERY rough recovery, with nurses commenting on how often I hit the button for a dose of narcotics. It was so rough that after 4 days in the hospital, I wanted to STAY in the hospital and my husband was ready to LEAVE the hospital. Nothing was wrong, everything was normal and fine in terms of recovery...it was just painful, exhausting, emotionally draining, YUCK! I was also very very very fortunate to have breastfeeding go well (thank you, lactation consultants!). I think in the end it helped me manage because I didn't have all the "extras" to do that are attached to pumping, mixing formula, washing bottles, etc. Now I'm stuck in the "how the hell do I wean" boat.

I also feel like each milestone made things easier even though everyone (with singletons lol) kept telling me "oh it will get harder when they crawl...etc.) I think it has to do with less baby frustration with each milestone met. Baby can get more of what she wants, can get to where she wants, doesn't want to be held all the time, etc. I dunno if it will get easier or harder when they walk though!!

I'm a SAHM. It's hard but I wouldn't trade it for anything. We're financially crunched right now, but I think it's better for the family than both my husband and I scrambling around in the mornings to get to work, scrambling in the evenings to get routines down, and dealing with missing work due to sick babies. I think I'd like to go back to work, but don't know how to choose a good time.

OK, now I want to see if I can squeeze in a nap for myself:)

NN317
09-18-2009, 06:32 PM
Hello to all.
My daughters are fraternal. We used IVF to make our kids, and knew we were having twins at just over 4 weeks along. I had a very large implantation bleed that left me on bed rest for almost 2 months at the beginning. It never got better, but never got worse. I stayed pregnant until 37w1d, and while my cervix was holding tight with very few contractions, the babies had popped a few of my ribs out of place and squished a kidney that left me in a state of constant pain. My OB took pity on me and scheduled my c-section earlier than the 38 week goal. C was born at 6lbs 6 oz, R was 5lbs 5oz and both were completely healthy with no need for the NICU. I chose to exclusively pump, and did so for 4 months. I was very lucky to make an abundance of milk for twins with hearty appetites. They have been consistently in the 75-90% for height & weight since they were 2 months old. We are very, very, very fortunate to have happy kids that rarely cry. I think what set us up for success overall was that we used a schedule from the very beginning, changing it as needed when necessary. They have slept through the night since 4 months.
They just had their first birthday a couple of days ago. Both crawl all over, but no attempts have been made at walking. R self feeds like a champ, but C prefers to hand us food so that we can put it in her mouth for her.
As for more kids, we are done. We were hoping for one child but through the wonders of medical science we got two at the same time.
I am a SAHM with a part time job (I only work on Sundays when DH can stay with them). We live many states away from our families after moving away for DH's current job in the video game industry.
I look forward to reading (and trying to participate more often) in this multiples chat.

caheinz
09-19-2009, 12:17 AM
Hi! :wavey:

My oldest is a 5.5yo boy and in kindy. Our twins will be one next week, and are identical boys. We're definitely done, with 3 boys in the house!

I can't believe that it's already their birthday!

When they were born, one was in the NICU for 8 days. The other wasn't in the NICU at all. They were born 1 day shy of 36 weeks, when my water broke.

They're already walking... One for over 2 weeks, and the other just under a week.

I have successfully breastfed them for the year. (The one in the NICU had some formula there, but neither has had any since.) I work out of the house, so I've been able to pump as well -- getting enough by renting a Medela classic for a long time, and taking More Mothers Milk herbs for about the same. Now I'm looking forward to weaning off of the pump (only), and I'm not sure how to do that when I'm producing for two!

glbb35
09-19-2009, 02:00 PM
Hi,

This is great! I am the mom of twin boys who are almost 5 months old. They are fraternal and I went into natural labor at 34 weeks 3 days. Had them vaginally (as I told my doctor I would :)) and feel so blessed. They are terrific little boys who look and act a lot like their brothers. We have two older sons as well. One almost 6 (as he keeps reminding me) and a 3 yr old who thinks he is 6. Four boys in the household so to say I am out numbered is an understatement! We also have a boy cat but a female dog although she is such a tomboy. Life here can be very hectic at times like now when I am battling a respiratory infection and not feeling so hot. Little patience makes everything harder. But I know things will get better. I am mostly pumping now and having to work really hard at keeping up my milk supply. I almost have enough for one but not enough for two so I get frustrated with myself and do feel guilty although I know I shouldn't.
I too love to hear moms of singletons complaining. Makes me laugh and makes me realize how strong I really am. I have had the best of both worlds. A close friend of mine had twin boys and then a few years later had a singleton girl. She said she had absolutely no problem bringing her into their lives as having 2 at a time was a learning experience and the third was just so easy after having two. I feel that way too but the other way around. Having had two singletons and then twins, the new mom part just isn't there. So the hardest thing is time management. I do worry about when they get mobile as that will be 4 kids under 6 mobile and doing their own thing. I might be really writing then pulling my hair out. But for now w are managing and feel so happy anyway everything else just doesn't matter. People always ask me, "what do you do when you just can't take it anymore?" I say that, that time comes at least once a day and I just walk away for a while. Thank God for swings and a basement and the TV!
Best wishes to all the other twin mommies! You are not alone!!!!
B
DS 03, 06, twins 09

missliss55
09-19-2009, 04:34 PM
Hi ladies!
My b/g twins are almost 16 weeks old. I also have 2 DD's that are 4 & 6 years old. The twins were born at 34 weeks. I went in for my weekly check up and was sent to the hospital b/c I was already dilated to 5 cm. It was crazy. I had my DD's with me, no DH and no hospital bag. DH came and got the girls and took them to our friends house. I am so thankful that DH thought ahead and went home and grabbed some stuff as well as the cameras b/c at 6:30 pm when I was checked I was at 8 cm and the decision was made to do a c-section. Twin A (my little guy) was breach. I kept thinking, I just went in for a check-up...I wasn't planning to have the babies today...but I guess my body had a different idea. Babies were born at 8:12 and 8:13 pm. DS weighed 5 lbs. 3 oz and DD#3 weighed 5 lbs. 2 oz. DS stayed in the hospital for 10 days...his only issue was maintaining temperature. DD#3 stayed for 2 weeks...poor thing got all the respiratory stuff. She was on a CPAP and all that fun stuff. They are doing great now and making their way up the growth chart. They now weigh a little over 11 and 12 lbs. Breastfeeding was hard and we had a lot of issues...so for my sanity I pump and we feed via bottle. It was sad for me...but I am thankful that I have a good supply and it only takes me a few minutes to pump. Life is definitely crazy with 4 kiddos under the age of 6...but we are having a lot of fun. I have a good support system from friends and I am taking people up on their offers of help. I am looking forward to hearing from other twin mommies especially those with other kiddos.

gatorsmom
09-19-2009, 05:05 PM
BeachBum, this was a great idea. I've really enjoyed reading everyone's posts.

I post around here alot because so I feel like I already know many of you. We had 2 boys and decided to try to have another baby. When I was having my 8week u/s just as the tech slid the wand across my belly we said at the same time, "I see 2 sacs." And I was in shock for 2 months after that. My DH didn't come to the u/s because it was just the first trimester u/s and he had been to so many before that I told him I was just going in to make sure that everything was ok. When I called him from the clinic and told him about the twins he was so totally in disbelief that I had to come home with the u/s pictures to prove it!

I had an uneventful pregnancy, luckily for me. I delivered at 36w 6days. I had had 2 previous c/s so I knew what to expect. It was a planned c/s and it went well. It was a harder recovery than the first two. Much harder. Seriously I thought my insides were going to fall out the first time I stood up post c/s. And the second and third time. I wore a binder for about a week after I got home from the hospital. And unlike the first 2 c/s recoveries I had my pain pills REFILLED. We had boy/girl twins who were were 6lbs and 6.5lbs at delivery. They came home with us from the hospital.

The first 6 months were really hard. I breast fed and had trouble with Sisi's latch on at first. Also, they just weren't gaining enough weight so I supplemented at first. Then just when it seemed like they were gaining weight and bfing really well, Greenbean showed signs of colic. But reflux meds didn't help. WE realized he had sensory issues and just couldn't calm down, especially after spending his days with 2 older brothers running around. The only things that would make him stop were me holding him and walking him for hours, putting him in the MOby Wrap for hours before bed, or the Graco Sweetpeace. I could be Graco's spokesperson for that swing. Things got MUCH easier when I stopped bfing at 6months. I had bfed my first 2 babies til 11months so it I struggled with stopping ebfing but it was taking a toll on my family and other children. Since then the twins have been getting easier.

Well, until they started climbing. Now my life is crazy. I have lowered my standards considerably and yet I am constantly amazed at the state of my house and the things I let my children do. But they seem very happy and confident so I must be doing something right. I love my life and think it is better than anything I could have planned for myself. But I never could have imagined that I'd be working so hard and such long hours. It is really, really draining.

Momof3Labs
09-19-2009, 10:04 PM
Our (most likely) fraternal twin girls will be 8 weeks old on Monday! DS1 will be 7yo in a week, and DS2 is 3.5yo. DS1 is in second grade, so is gone for school most of the day. DS2 just started 3yo preschool.

Our twins are the result of IVF, so most people assume that we should have expected (known?) that twins would happen. But we were given a low prob of getting pregnant, and even a lower prob of having twins (after putting back two 3 day embryos), that it was still a shock. We actually suspected twins as early as 1 week post-transfer, when I was in and out of the clinic over a week with hyperstimulation, but found out for sure around 5.5w or so along.

My pregnancy was uneventful; not even a single trip to L&D. I worked up until a few days before they were born, though the last 2 months I worked exclusively at home (vs. my 1.25hr commute each way to the office). They were born via c-section at 37w5d because baby A was breech. We tried Webster to turn her but there just wasn't enough room. E was 7lbs 3oz and M was 7lbs even. I had really hoped for a non-medicated vaginal delivery with a midwife like DS2's, but admit that I was pleasantly surprised by the c-section experience and recovery. My OB was terrific, as was the rest of the staff, and I was surprised at how fast I bounced back from the surgery.

The girls are really, really good babies. Our biggest single challenge has been feeding. They nursed exclusively (except for 1oz of formula each in the hospital) for the first two weeks but gained no weight from their discharge weights (which were 10% below birthweight) over those two weeks. Output was good, and no jaundice, but no weight gain. First, I figured out that they were working so hard to get what they got - nursing 1hr+ per feeding - that they were probably burning off too much energy eating. So we started topping them off with bottles, first of formula, then of EBM as I pumped enough. Then, after visits with two different lactation consultants, we determined that they had suck issues. They could latch but would then push the nipple (mine or the bottle) out of their mouth. So they weren't stimulating letdowns. We moved to bottles exclusively. We saw a speech pathologist who gave us some exercises but they haven't seemed to change their suck yet. I've pumped enough to cover their needs plus build a freezer stash, but really hope to get them back on the breast sometime soon. Recent attempts have shown that they have the same issue (not a surprise given that they still push the bottle nipple out of their mouth, too) so hopefully this will resolve sometime soon.

They eat every 3hrs during the night (more frequently during the day) so between feeding and pumping, sleep is limited these days. DH has been stepping up to the plate (moreso than he did with the boys) and will take a nighttime feeding on the nights he is home so that I can sleep. He works every third night, so my mom has been staying here those nights to help out.

I work part time out of the house and go back to work in mid-November. To add to our stress, our current nanny is flaking out on us, so we are starting to actively look for a new nanny. I'd like someone who can stay with all the kids (DS1 is only around during the summer) but may have to put DS2 in daycare and settle for someone who can stay with the girls, as our priority is to keep them home (vs. in a facility day care) for the first 2-3 years, if possible.

I spend a lot of time lurking these days as typing is hard when holding a baby or pumping, so I'm reading everything that you gals are saying, even if I don't join in too often! A special thanks for the extra hugs on my thread in the lounge. I'm still on that roller coaster, and will be looking into meds when I talk to my dr next week.

longamkl
09-20-2009, 01:30 AM
It's so nice to meet all of you and I'm really enjoying hearing everyone's different stories.

I have b/g twins that will be 1 in six days. September '08 was a busy time for twins on this board! I have no other children. My husband and I tried for 6 years to get pregnant. On what was to be our last attempt at IVF, we transferred two day 3 embryos and were over the moon to learn that at long last we were pregnant. I suspected immediately that there were two when my blood hormone levels were through the roof. It was confirmed at 6 six weeks. My pregnancy was relatively uneventful until I went for a checkup at 35 weeks and learned that I had pre-eclampsia. I was admitted to the hospital for bedrest and my c-section was scheduled for 36 weeks (Baby B was breach and I didn't have the courage to try vaginally).

The babies' sizes were good: 5lbs5oz and 5 lbs14oz and I'm just 5'-0" tall. They were healthy but lost too much weight after two days in our room and were taken to the NICU for gavage feeding. I was heartbroken. We stayed with them for 18 days in the hospital. During that time, the lactation consultants worked with us daily and, although my daughter soon gained enough through nursing, my son would never nurse again. When I allowed him to be bottle fed, we were all discharged.

Of course the first many months were brutal. My scar continued to weep blood for two months and eventually got infected. For that I had to take antibiotics which caused me to get mastitis which was even more painful than the c-section (and I had also refilled my pain meds though I didn't dare take any more). I was nursing one, pumping and supplementing for the other but they did start through the night at 3 months. My son had reflux and was just an extremely grumpy baby until only recently. He required constant bouncing, attention, much more than twice what my daughter required. I yearn for the experience to be able to dote on one baby, but at 42, feel like I am just too old to go through all this again. It has been so physically demanding.

They are well now. My son is 95%-tile for height and weight and my daughter 75%-tile. They are a lot for me to lug around. They are crawling and just recently my daughter has started furniture walking. They eat like champs.

The biggest surprise to me about (twin) motherhood has been the isolation. We only moved to this area about 2 years before the babies were born so I still don't know a lot of people, much less other mothers. I am an engineer but have stayed home with the babies since birth and plan to for as many years as we can financially swing it. We waited far too long to get to have this experience that I don't want to miss out on it. The hospital bills have been huge though! I have tried to meet up with the local twins club but have not had a lot of success in that regard. This board has been great because it provides the feedback that I've needed from other mothers and helps get the stuff I need to my door (because shopping at b&m stores just hasn't been an option for much of the past year).

Such a pleasure to meet you all.

dowlinal
09-20-2009, 01:41 AM
Hi!

My twins are 16 weeks today. They are fraternal boys who look nothing alike. One is blond haired blue eyed and fair and the other is brown haired, brown eyed, and has olive skin. Strangely, this doesn't stop people from asking me if they are identical.

I also have two older girls. DD1 is 5 and just started Kindergarten and DD2 is 2 and just started pre-school. The girls love their brothers, but are both having some issues with the lack of attention. My 3 year old is just a disaster and she is really making life here tough.

My pregnancy was fine. It was a lot harder mentally, and I had some issues, but none of them were particularly bad and they all resolved themselves as time went on. My boys were born at 37 weeks 3 days by emergency c-section when my water broke the day before my scheduled c-section. Baby A was 6 lbs, 3 oz and Baby B was 7lbs, 5 oz. Neither needed any NICU time, but I did have to give some formula in the hospital because they were dropping too much weight.

Overall, the boys are really good babies. They don't really like their carseats, but otherwise they are generally happy and only really fuss if they need something. They have started to interact with each other and it's just adorable. They like to hold hands when I tandem nurse them and it always make my heart melt. They also now babble back and forth to each other

My biggest challenge at the beginning was nursing. At first, my smaller baby had difficulty nursing. He had a good latch, but would get tired fast. It took two weeks to get him nursing as well as his brother. Then my next issue was my supply. I have a low supply and I tried to wean off of the supplemental formula but it was a disaster. The boys stopped gaining weight and they were so fussy and unhappy. I almost quit nursing entirely, but I found a system that seems to work for us. During the day, I alternate the boys btw nursing and bottles so that I am nursing one boy at each feeding. In reality, I usually nurse the second on a bit too, but when I run out of milk I give a bottle. At night I tandem nurse and supplement as needed. I was worried that the boys would start to prefer bottles, but they actually have a strong preference for nursing. So I am hoping that I can eliminate the bottles once they are eating solids.

Now, my biggest challenge, besides my 3 year old, is taking care of all four on my own with a husband who does shift work and is currently working tons of mandatory overtime. Getting all four to bed on my own is just a nightmare and it's really tough to be on my own with them overnight. We're moving in a week and I'm hoping that it will make things a bit better. The girls will sleep upstairs and the boys will be next to the masterbed room downstairs so hopefully everyone will stop waking each other.

Melaine
09-20-2009, 08:43 AM
I'm so happy this thread is getting so many responses! I love hearing everyone's stories.

I have a question/discussion for all of you. I found a a cute twin website that takes reader's submissions. http://www.twinstalk.com/ (You guys should check it out)

Anyway, I have always loved writing and really would like to submit an article or two about twins (the author doesn't pay, but I don't care, I just want to be published; I'd be thrilled to have some clips for my resume). Anyway, so I'd love for your ideas on articles about twins or things that you wish an article would address. Even if you don't have any ideas, you should check out the website, it is cute.

fivi2
09-20-2009, 09:58 AM
Wow - good to hear from all these twin moms! And so many of you with older kids. I definitely need to stop complaining about my girls! I get overwhelmed with just the twins, I don't know how you guys do it.

Melaine, I don't have any suggestions right now (sorry). But, I did just read an article in Cookie (darn Amazon and me not figuring out I could get the rebate instead of the free subscription!) written by a twin mom about favoritism. It was pretty interesting. I do occasionally find myself playing favorites (and feeling guilty) but then I will switch and start favoring the other... (none of it on purpose). And I definitely found it difficult when they were little, trying to bond with them as individuals and not as a unit...

Anyway, just random thoughts sparked by the article!

gatorsmom
09-20-2009, 01:08 PM
Anyway, so I'd love for your ideas on articles about twins or things that you wish an article would address.

I read this and immediately started to brainstorm ideas for you because I think that would be pretty cool for you to be published too! Nothing came to me off the top of my head but I will think about this during the day. Usually I think of stuff as I'm working in the house so I'll think about it for you!

iggy_saurus
09-20-2009, 09:33 PM
Hi! I am mom to (mostly likely) fraternal twin boys who are 11 weeks old. They are the happy result of a Clomid/IUI cycle and we knew they were twins at 8 weeks. After the extreme nausea of the first 14 weeks, the rest of my pregnancy was great. I was induced at 38w 2d. Baby a was born vaginally, and then the stress of labor caused problems for baby b (his placenta started to separate), so he was born via emergency c-section. Baby a stayed with me while b was transferred to a level 3 nicu. Fortunately b recovered quickly and was home only 6 days later.

I am staying home with the boys until they are 6 months and then I will return to work full-time. I am exclusively breastfeeding right now, but it took some time to get there. In the beginning we supplemented with formula. I had my gallbladder out 2 weeks ago, so for a day they got expressed breast milk. I'm lucky to have a lot of help--my parents live nearby and are retired, so they come over every day for a few hours.

I just joined this site a week ago, but I have been a frequent lurker. I look forward to participating!

BeachBum
09-21-2009, 07:56 AM
...With all the talk about singletons vs twins I'll recycle my joke for you.

I told someone when my boys were about 3 months that having had a singleton, then the twins made realize that having only one child was about like getting a cat.

It's funny because I really do feel that way. :) But when I had my first, I found it overwhelming and crazy. My sister who I'm very close to is pregnant and due next month. I've tried very hard not to compare / minimize her feelings. I'm sure she is big and uncomfy....but really did you carry twins, did you see how big I was? I'm sure you're tired, but do you have twins....etc etc.

There are so many posts that I don't have time to really do shoutouts, but I do want to comment on a few themes.
Favortism/ Guilt
Yeah. I struggle with this too. Not that I find myself playing favorites, but more that I want to keep everything equal. Who rode in the cart last time (vs ergo)? But it's not equal--they arent' the same! Sam prefers to ride in the cart--so why do I feel guilty that Peter gets carried more. I just feel so much guilt over how they would be parented if they weren't a twin.

Survival
I just loved parenting my oldest--he was so much fun. I really enjoyed each stage so much. With these guys the effort it takes to care for them sucks so much out of me that I don't have much left over for the pure fun/ enjoyment. I really hate that. I feel like I have missed out on so much already (they are 8 months) I've been in such a fog surviving that I didn't really get to enjoy their baby stage.
I really do understand what someone meant about feeling cheated by having twins. At this point I don't see many benefits (other than I did get to have 3 kids instead of 2 which I wanted). I'm hoping as they get older that it will be better, but for now it's just really hard.

ETA: Then there are days like yesterday where all three boys played for an hour together. The twins crawled all over each other, touched eachothers faces sucked each others toes--and I just sat there in awe thinking how ungrateful I've sounded for such a special experience.

Melaine
09-21-2009, 08:12 AM
It really is a comfort hearing some of these sentiments from other people! I would feel so guilty saying anything to a friend about feeling cheated or like what did I do to deserve twins. But my one friend with twins and I talk about it sometimes. It is very therapeutic. I've said this before, but if any of you guys don't know anyone locally who has twins close to the same age: FIND someone. Even if you have to take out an ad in the paper, or find one through the hospital it is SO valuable.

mom2beofboy/girltwins
09-21-2009, 09:09 AM
I struggle with the equality thing alot. I'll feel bad that I can't do something for both of them at the same time, like hold them, so then I find myself not wanting to hold either so that it's not unfair to one of them, but than that makes me feel really bad because it's not like I don't want to hold them... Does that make sense?

It seems like from what some others have said here it's not completely uncommon to feel that way.

I know some of what's been posted is things we struggle with having twins, but I have noticed having twins can also have some positives. For instance, it seems like with 2 babies it keeps you from getting into some bad habits that I easily could see myself having if it were just one baby. Like feeding or rocking a baby to sleep. Since there's 2 of them, you just can't, so they're really good about just being put down in their cribs and falling asleep on their own. And also a solid routine. Having a routine is the only thing that keeps me together around here with them and it seems to be working. If it were just me and one baby I'd be much more inclined to just go where ever, when ever and deal with the repercussions of that later.

My mom has made some comments about being really impressed with the fact that they just get put down for bed ~6:30 pm and just go to sleep. She keeps saying how she remembers my younger brothers being up really late and having to sit or lay with them until they'd go to sleep. I just keep thinking - that's not an option for us, we'd go crazy if we didn't have a routine around here!!!

NN317
09-21-2009, 09:33 AM
I struggle with trying not to compare them when it comes to milestones. C is much better at gross motor skills, and is usually a few weeks ahead of R. But then R excels at fine motor skills, whereas C does not seem interested most times. I keep reinforcing to myself that while they are twins, they are individuals who will do things in their own time.

fivi2
09-21-2009, 11:04 AM
I struggle with the equality thing alot. I'll feel bad that I can't do something for both of them at the same time, like hold them, so then I find myself not wanting to hold either so that it's not unfair to one of them, but than that makes me feel really bad because it's not like I don't want to hold them... Does that make sense?

It seems like from what some others have said here it's not completely uncommon to feel that way.

I know some of what's been posted is things we struggle with having twins, but I have noticed having twins can also have some positives. For instance, it seems like with 2 babies it keeps you from getting into some bad habits that I easily could see myself having if it were just one baby. Like feeding or rocking a baby to sleep. Since there's 2 of them, you just can't, so they're really good about just being put down in their cribs and falling asleep on their own. And also a solid routine. Having a routine is the only thing that keeps me together around here with them and it seems to be working. If it were just me and one baby I'd be much more inclined to just go where ever, when ever and deal with the repercussions of that later.

My mom has made some comments about being really impressed with the fact that they just get put down for bed ~6:30 pm and just go to sleep. She keeps saying how she remembers my younger brothers being up really late and having to sit or lay with them until they'd go to sleep. I just keep thinking - that's not an option for us, we'd go crazy if we didn't have a routine around here!!!

I definitely could have written this post a couple years ago! I often found myself feeling guilty about holding one (even if the other was happily doing something else). I would either go out of my way to "make it up" later, or not do it at all!

And, I definitely think having two kept me from some bad habits! Especially with sleeping. And I hear moms of singletons complain that their dc can't entertain herself. My girls don't always need constant attention (since that was impossible).

Momof3Labs
09-21-2009, 04:10 PM
For instance, it seems like with 2 babies it keeps you from getting into some bad habits that I easily could see myself having if it were just one baby. Like feeding or rocking a baby to sleep.

Perhaps we should be careful about how we judge parents of singletons - I nursed and rocked both of my boys to sleep, and never once considered it a "bad habit". It worked for us - really well - and I'd do it again in a heartbeat with another singleton. But I can see how it wouldn't work for twins.

ETA: Sorry, I'm not trying to be crabby. I was just turned off by our local twins club where a few moms really look down on singleton moms (as in, their experience is of no value to twin moms). Having been a singleton mom - twice - before becoming a twin mom, I feel that we can still learn plenty from one another. As with all exchanges with other moms, you take what might work from you and respectfully discard what probably won't.

mom2beofboy/girltwins
09-21-2009, 10:00 PM
Yeah, I certainly didn't mean the rocking/feeding to sleep thing as a criticism. I guess I kind of meant it more in a way that them actually going to sleep hasn't turned into a really big ordeal simply because it can't when there's more than one to appease. I know there's things that would get done differently if there was just one.

And I totally agree with the value of other mom's experience - regardless of the number of kids. For a lot of things, # of kids doesn't matter.

wasn't trying to upset anyone, just thinking that there's some positives to having more than one sometimes too.

twowhat?
09-21-2009, 10:19 PM
Yeah, I certainly didn't mean the rocking/feeding to sleep thing as a criticism. I guess I kind of meant it more in a way that them actually going to sleep hasn't turned into a really big ordeal simply because it can't when there's more than one to appease. I know there's things that would get done differently if there was just one.


I know what you mean. We put our then 4-month-olds down for a nap at a friend's house. They cried. We left them alone. Our friends were like "you're just gonna let them CRY?" We were like "Yeah...they gotta figure out how to fall asleep on their own!" And they did fall asleep after 10 minutes (and checking up on them once). It's just sometimes hard to explain to parents of singletons that you do certain things because YOU need to maintain your sanity!! For us, the twins needed learn to fall asleep on their own so mama and dada could get their much-needed sleep too! (Of course, falling asleep on their own is just one example of the general concept that we do things differently because we have to, because it's that much harder with two).

gatorsmom
09-22-2009, 01:13 AM
. I guess I kind of meant it more in a way that them actually going to sleep hasn't turned into a really big ordeal simply because it can't when there's more than one to appease. I know there's things that would get done differently if there was just one.



I totally agree with this. Neither of my first singleton babies would go to sleep easily in a pack n play when we visited someone else's house. It was a total ordeal. The twins just do it. I thought I was treating them all the same way but the twins can go to sleep in their sidebyside pack n plays and it doesn't even take long. It must have something to do with the fact that they know I can't be coming in and checking on them every 10 minutes because that's when I'm getting the older 2 to bed. The fact that they go down so easily is a HUGE bonus!

dowlinal
09-22-2009, 07:07 AM
I totally agree with this. Neither of my first singleton babies would go to sleep easily in a pack n play when we visited someone else's house. It was a total ordeal. The twins just do it. I thought I was treating them all the same way but the twins can go to sleep in their sidebyside pack n plays and it doesn't even take long. It must have something to do with the fact that they know I can't be coming in and checking on them every 10 minutes because that's when I'm getting the older 2 to bed. The fact that they go down so easily is a HUGE bonus!


I need to figure out how to get here. I coslept with my first two and my second nursed to sleep until she was 2 1/2. I just can't do that with the twins and still get my other two to bed at a reasonable hour. It makes me sad because I loved doing it, but it's just not possible with four kids and a husband who works at bedtime every third week. We were getting by until school started, but now that my oldest needs to be at school at 8am, my girls have to be in bed by a certain time or they are a mess the following day.

Melaine
09-22-2009, 07:14 AM
You know, if I had had one baby, I know that I would've nursed to sleep, rocked to sleep, maybe even co-slept. I don't think I would've been inclined to have a schedule either, or a regular bedtime. The circumstances of twins forced me to become so rigid about everything that I think my friends think of me as some kind of robot mom. I know they see me as far too uptight. Saying, "Sorry, we can't go out to eat. Bedtime is at 7" or be unwilling (in reality, unable) to skip naptime for a playdate. None of these are personality traits I really saw in myself, but it is what it is.

BeachBum
09-22-2009, 08:10 AM
I need to figure out how to get here. .... I just can't do that with the twins and still get my other two to bed at a reasonable hour. ....

Yeah. I started out nursing and rocking my twins to sleep and (like I had my singleton) and did it for about 6 months. To me rocking and nursing my babies to sleep is one of life's great joys.
Around 6 months I started "sleep training" the Dr. Weissbluth way. I also used "no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley for ideas. What I like about Dr. Weissbluth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) is that he teaches you that it is your responsibility to set your child up for sleep success--and if you've done everything you should to help them drift off to dreamland--then it's ok to leave them to cry a bit. Not just throw them in the crib and let them CIO. We have had very minimal crying around here. Within about 6 weeks my boys went from nursing to sleep, to going to sleep on their own. I know that seems like a really long time for some, but we just aren't able to stomach the CIO, so we did things in very small baby steps.
Anyway my point was that you might want to check out those two books. :)

NN317
09-22-2009, 09:10 AM
The circumstances of twins forced me to become so rigid about everything that I think my friends think of me as some kind of robot mom. I know they see me as far too uptight. Saying, "Sorry, we can't go out to eat. Bedtime is at 7" or be unwilling (in reality, unable) to skip naptime for a playdate.

:yeahthat:
We live & breathe our schedule here, no matter what outside circumstances might come up. It is a rare day if we are a few minutes late for a nap or meal. But I believe our kids are happier and rarely cranky/upset because they always know what to expect in their day. At least, that is what I tell myself.

la mama
09-22-2009, 09:12 AM
You know, if I had had one baby, I know that I would've nursed to sleep, rocked to sleep, maybe even co-slept. I don't think I would've been inclined to have a schedule either, or a regular bedtime. The circumstances of twins forced me to become so rigid about everything that I think my friends think of me as some kind of robot mom. I know they see me as far too uptight. Saying, "Sorry, we can't go out to eat. Bedtime is at 7" or be unwilling (in reality, unable) to skip naptime for a playdate. None of these are personality traits I really saw in myself, but it is what it is.

:yeahthat: My own mother calls me a drill sergeant because of how strict I am with their daily schedule, more so when they were newborns. I totally understand about keeping the bedtimes and naptimes intact instead of going to the playdate or whatever. I go to MOPS or a Bible study for moms every week and it starts at C and A's naptime. Thankfully the nursery workers are willing to put them down and let them cry otherwise I wouldn't ever be able to go. There are some other twin moms in my twins club with DC about the same age and last year we all tried to get together for coffee/playdate but toward the end it got hard to coordinate naptimes. I'm not sure we'll even try it this year.

On the subject of twin mom/singleton mom, I got a lot of advice (that I asked for) from my mom and MIL. My mom had 4 kids and MIL had 5 so I took a lot of their advice but some of it just couldn't apply to twins. I struggled with that a little bit because they are both so experienced but I had struggles they never did. They don't know anyone besides me that has had twins. Sometimes my MIL will say I have it so easy because C and A are pretty content and well-behaved most of the time and some of her boys, DH in particular, were more difficult babies. I usually just smile but don't say anything but I'm afraid I would be rude. I know there are hard times for singleton moms, especially with colic, because everyone has tough days but I don't think anyone but someone who has parented twins or other multiples will ever understand how challenging it is. Plus, MIL doesn't see them every day to see their less cute moments as often. Anyone else experience this with relatives or close friends? Did you ever say anything or just stay quiet but know the truth in your heart?

BTW, I never explained my pregnancy...at 31 weeks, I had pre-eclampsia and dr. wanted me to be on hospital bedrest but my whole immediate family was coming to visit me that weekend, since I couldn't travel to see them, so I negotiated home bedrest with weekly checkups and blood work. Those appts. were my only time out of the house. Previously, I had pre-term labor twice, with one overnight stay. At 35w 4d I had to go to the hospital. C and A were born at exactly 36 weeks vaginally, just 7 min. apart. Both spent about 11 hours in the NICU, C had forced room air. We took them home 3 days later. I tried to BF for 5 weeks but both had trouble latching on. Both had been supplementing in the hospital. I would try to feed then pump and hardly pump anything, like less than 1 oz. combined. I was taking herbal supplements and pumping extra but my supply never seemed to be enough. I would get so frustrated with myself and them for not latching on that at 5 weeks we decided to switch to formula, for my sanity. It definitely wasn't what I had ever dreamed but it was definitely the right choice for us, although I still feel guilty every time I read or hear about a twin mom successfully bfing for 1year+. I'm hoping to BF with any future DC, even if it's twins again!

twowhat?
09-22-2009, 10:53 AM
I need to figure out how to get here. I coslept with my first two and my second nursed to sleep until she was 2 1/2. I just can't do that with the twins and still get my other two to bed at a reasonable hour. It makes me sad because I loved doing it, but it's just not possible with four kids and a husband who works at bedtime every third week. We were getting by until school started, but now that my oldest needs to be at school at 8am, my girls have to be in bed by a certain time or they are a mess the following day.

Another slave to the schedule!! People think I'm nuts sometimes but the schedule is the BOSS. Everything gets messed up times 2 when the schedule gets messed up!! I'm sure with a singleton I wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as rigid with schedule.

Anyway, I nursed, rocked to sleep for 3 months. By 4 months when we were all going insane, we started a little bit of CIO. We'd let them cry per the Ferber method, checking in at increasing intervals, but we would pick them up and rock them if they cried for more than 20 minutes. They actually rarely cried for more than 20 minutes (though it could be HYSTERICAL, break-your-heart crying!) By 6 months we implemented the strict Ferber method, but never had to intervene for more than 30-40 minutes. Now putting them in bed is a joy. I still nurse them at bedtime and every now and then they fall asleep (but still STTN so I don't worry about it). I read a book (whether or not they're still awake after nursing!), we brush teeth and do chapstick (whether or not they're still awake! And sometimes brushing teeth wakes them up, which sucks, but oh well). Then we rock for a few seconds and into the crib they go. Baby B nearly ALWAYS cries for 2 seconds. That's it. Baby A never cries. But they both sleep like champs through the night, and we are better parents for it! Also, they didn't both start sleeping through the night consistently until 9 months (even though I stopped nursing at night by 7 months). That may sound like a long time, but I think everything just takes longer with twins.

mikeys_mom
09-22-2009, 12:03 PM
I have been meaning to respond to this thread for a few days now, and finally have a few minutes.

I have fraternal twin girls who are 7 months old. I also have a 5 year old DS and a 2.5 year old DD.

I was completely shocked to find out that I was expecting twins. I found out at 6 weeks during a routine dating ultrasound. DH almost didn't come to the ultrasound because it was my 3rd pregnancy and we figured it would just be routine - see the heartbeat, no big deal. I throught the ultrasound technician was joking when she told me there were 2 heartbeats. I was pretty much speechless after that. There are no twins in my family and it had never even entered my mind that I could have twins.

My pregnancy was pretty uneventful. I knew from the beginning that I was going to have a scheduled c/s because my other 2 DC were born by c/s.

The girls were born at 35.5 weeks, exactly 2 weeks before my scheduled c/s. They were each 5.5lbs and had no breathing issues and did not spend any time in the NICU. We brought them home 2 days later.

For me the biggest challenge is trying to give each of my 4 children enough time and attention. There are times when I see that my older 2 really need me and I just need them to wait until I am finished with the babies before I tend to their needs. At those times I feel very guilty for having had twins because it makes everything harder for the family.

I feel the same as most of you have mentioned with regards to feeling guilty about not doing everything equally for the twins. Right now, I feel bad that I am not doing as much out of the house with the twins as I did with my older 2. By this age, I was taking them to the pool, the library, music class and out on regular walks. The twins spend much more time inside because the logistics of leaving the house are just difficult.

This discussion was a great idea!

glbb35
09-22-2009, 03:17 PM
I was catching up on the latest posts. In regards to the sleeping those few like BeachBum who are using a book or method from someone else to get your kids to sleep, are they actually sleeping through the night? If so what am I doing wrong? I have two older boys who ds1 did not sleep through the night for nine months. He woke up every three hours religiously and then poof, one night that was it and he slept through the night. DS#2 it was one year and 2 months before he slept through the night. He was every 4-5 hours. With the twins right now it is every 4 hours they are up. We try so hard to keep them on a schedule so if they do wake up they are together and it doesn't mean we are up all night long. Is there anything else I should be doing?
Today is a prime example. Nap time.We were up early, walked DS 1 to the bus stop, came home, played for a while and then ate. One feel asleep with a bottle (I was going to go upstairs and pump, eat and get some work done) but that ended because DS4 was wide awake. When he finally feel asleep I dealt with some urgent work issues (I work from home), finally ate and then pumped. Before I was done they were both up and one wanted some more and the other wanted to be held. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get them both in the swings finally semi tired but still DS 4 is in there talking away. I think he slept for 30 min. DS 3 is semi asleep although he keeps giving 4 the evil eye. I do like the threads about how they entertain themselves so they don't always need you and they are used to falling asleep with noise around. Here it is constant noise. Yikes, call me an idiot but I have forgotten some of the singleton milestones and sleeping and such. These days the brain doesn't work as well.
I am going to vent a little if I can. This week I am fighting something in my chest and so slow as I recover. Today was just a bad morning which worked into a bad day. The twins are all smiling and happy as ever and I feel guilty for not snapping out of it. I just need a day to do nothing but catch up on some TV, veg, pump of course as I can't get away from that and collect myself. Ugh. It doesn't help that DS 1 decided to not listen to me at all this morning and DS 2 is his echo. All the testosterone in this house! I think I just need to feel better stop coughing and get some energy back. Thanks for reading. Being a singleton mom first I definitely know that bad days occur but now that we have twins it is a different ball game. I would not change a thing for sure and feel so blessed for four healthy children but man I need a break. :]

twowhat?
09-22-2009, 03:37 PM
I was catching up on the latest posts. In regards to the sleeping those few like BeachBum who are using a book or method from someone else to get your kids to sleep, are they actually sleeping through the night?

We followed the Ferber method strictly at 6 months (and also got rid of night feedings). But...our twins didn't start actually STTN consistently until 9 months. We have no idea why. One or the other would wake about once each night and each time they woke we just followed the Ferber approach. Also, they seemed to like to alternate between who slept through the night and who didn't! So we didn't actually start getting full nights of sleep until 9 months. I have no idea why they were waking. We tried pushing their bedtime back (in case they were in bed too long), and all these other things that Ferber mentioned. At one point I was charting their sleep! I don't think they were actually hungry because they didn't seem to eat more during the day. Then poof at 9 months all that ended. No idea why.

Melaine
09-22-2009, 03:45 PM
I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and another book that I can't think of right now. Honestly, neither helped me at all. The schedules and suggestions were things we were already doing. Mine didn't sleep through the night until around 1 and still woke at times. I just think that is how they were and nothing could've changed it.

fivi2
09-22-2009, 04:18 PM
I think it is important to remember that "sleeping through the night" generally means about 5-6 hours, not what we would consider a full night pre-kids!

We read Healthy Sleep Habits. I thought it had useful information, but didn't necessarily teach my girls how to sleep. It made me much more protective of naps and sleep schedules and going to bed early. My girls did start sleeping pretty well around 6 months. I don't think there is a magic answer - I think we were just lucky :)

NN317
09-22-2009, 04:37 PM
We used Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell. For us, it is a milder version of the Ferber method. We made it a point to have them sleep in their crib as much as possible from the beginning (no swings). We started putting them in their cribs drowsy from about 3 months, and went down to one night feeding at about the same time. Our kids were actually doing the full 6pm to 6am sleep by about 6 months. I have no special routine or maneuver for that, I think we are mostly just fortunate with having kids that sleep well.

Naranjadia
09-22-2009, 04:57 PM
I am late to the party! I saw this thread yesterday and meant to reply.

I have 2.5 year old b/g twins through IVF and surrogacy. We went from "you cannot have kids" to failed adoptions to twins in four years. Needless to say, even when they're driving me crazy, I try to remind myself how blessed I am.

It's so great to see all the age ranges here. Amnesia has set in and I really can't remember some of the details of the first year. This is all bringing it back.

One thing that I am noticing now is that the differences between my twins are really coming out. Before, when we had behavior issues or eating or sleeping issues, it would often be both the twins, but now they seem to each have different things we're trying to respond to. For example: Sally has taken to announcing "I don't like that" all the time: related to food, clothes, shoes, hairstyles, whatever. Even a family friend whom we know she usually adores. I am glad she's asserting herself and developing some independence, but why, oh, why does it have to be so negative?

k_null81
09-22-2009, 05:23 PM
I've been reading the posts but haven't introduced myself yet so I figured I would take a few moments to do so.

I have twins boys E & K that were born 7/21. Due to a heart problem I have I could not safely carry children so my husband and I used a gestational surrogate to have children. The boys were born 6 weeks early baby E weighed 4lbs 11oz and baby K was 5lbs 11oz. They did spend 9 days in the NICU.

Currently the boys are still wanting to be fed every 3-4 hours. They are both gaining weight great and at their 6 week check up E was 8lbs and K was 8lbs 10oz. It's hard to believe E is gaining more weight then K since E is the smaller one. E was also diagnosed with reflux at the 6 week appt. and I'm not sure if the meds are really helping or not.

I feel extremely lucky to have my little men but at the same time I'm extremely overwhelmed! I just keep thinking how much easier it must be to have a singleton. I know once they are STTN things will hopefully get a little easier. Or at least for my husband. He has been out of work for a little over a year now so he is a stay at home dad and full time student at the moment. He is really great with the boys!

I look foward to reading, sharing stories, and advice!

twowhat?
09-22-2009, 05:25 PM
I think it is important to remember that "sleeping through the night" generally means about 5-6 hours, not what we would consider a full night pre-kids!


Right:) So then my girls were STTN at 4 months. But they didn't STTN (my definition: 10+ hours) until 9 months.

Naranjadia
09-22-2009, 09:04 PM
Due to a heart problem I have I could not safely carry children so my husband and I used a gestational surrogate to have children.

Wow - a fellow traveler! We also had a gestational surrogate for a similar reason (substitute respiratory for heart). I always like to hear other happy endings.

Don't worry - it will get easier for you and your husband.

dowlinal
09-22-2009, 10:45 PM
For the moms who followed a strict schedule, did any of you have older kids? That is the other half of my current problem. I can't enforce a strict schedule because of my older kids' schedules. Between school and activities, I just can't always be home at nap times or even bedtime once in a while. I am the only one around a lot of the time so the twins need to come with me to all this stuff.

gatorsmom
09-23-2009, 09:04 AM
For the moms who followed a strict schedule, did any of you have older kids? That is the other half of my current problem. I can't enforce a strict schedule because of my older kids' schedules. Between school and activities, I just can't always be home at nap times or even bedtime once in a while. I am the only one around a lot of the time so the twins need to come with me to all this stuff.

That is the problem for any parent with older kids in activities who then have ababy. My friend had a baby boy when her oldest was 7yo and she said the baby took all his naps in the car. But she was also very strict with his naptime too. I never asked how she could stick to a schedule in those circum stances because I was friends with her when Gator was just a baby so it never occured to me. Many times, I"ll run the older boys to activities and leave the twins napping at home with a mother's helper. I make sure to choose activities and time for the boys that allow me to be home to put the twins to bed and back to get them out of their cribs. All the mother's helper has to do is listen to the baby monitor and call me if there is a problem. That works really well, so far. But then, my twins are only taking an afternoon nap at this point.

Melaine
09-23-2009, 12:08 PM
My DDs are sitting on the couch, watching "Super Why". DD1 just reached over and gave DD2 the longest hug and they were just smiling at each other. Sometimes having twins is just the best!

longamkl
09-23-2009, 01:24 PM
I've had a tough morning (I'm sure most of you have). I've had it with the screaming (there just seems to be so much crying). My son keeps pulling really hard on my daughter's hair. She cries really hard as a result. I separate them, tell him no and try to focus on her to comfort her. If I put him in a corner, he just crawls over to where I am with her. He has a look of glee when he does it and if I say 'no' when I see it, his smile just gets broader. Minutes later after I end up holding both of them, they start playing peek-a-boo with each other. I just don't know how else to curb his behavior.

Melaine
09-23-2009, 02:00 PM
I've had a tough morning (I'm sure most of you have). I've had it with the screaming (there just seems to be so much crying). My son keeps pulling really hard on my daughter's hair. She cries really hard as a result. I separate them, tell him no and try to focus on her to comfort her. If I put him in a corner, he just crawls over to where I am with her. He has a look of glee when he does it and if I say 'no' when I see it, his smile just gets broader. Minutes later after I end up holding both of them, they start playing peek-a-boo with each other. I just don't know how else to curb his behavior.

I put the offender in a pack 'n play in the other room for time out. I really think it helps to have them out of sight for a couple minutes.

fivi2
09-23-2009, 03:19 PM
I put the offender in a pack 'n play in the other room for time out. I really think it helps to have them out of sight for a couple minutes.

yep - we had to have a contained area for the offender.

We did it on the early side when the biting started (15 months ish). Mostly just so I could comfort the victim without having to deal with the offender. I won't say it stopped the behaviors, but it made the aftermath easier to deal with. Our time outs were super short.

mikeys_mom
09-24-2009, 10:53 AM
Our girls were sharing a room (and a crib) until they were around 5.5 months old. They both used to just fall asleep on their own when we put them into their crib. They were STTN inconsistently but when one would wake, she would not necessarily disturb her sister. At that point we did not wake both to feed them because one would often STTN if left undisturbed.

Then, one twin started fussing quite a bit while falling asleep and was preventing her sister from falling asleep. She would also wake up in the middle of the night and start to cry but was not hungry. At that point we separated them into 2 rooms.

Well, in reality on was left in the crib in their room and we placed the "disruptive" one in a pack and play in our very large walk-in closet :bag. All the other rooms in our house are occupied and it just seemed like the best place for her to sleep. That system has been working well for the past few months but she is now falling asleep much more easily and wakes up less frequently. DH and I decided to try and move them back together so that we can have our closet back.

Last night was the first night of them sharing a room and was a bit of a disaster. Falling asleep took a bit longer but they eventually settled down within a reasonable amount of time. The problem was that at 2am, one started to fuss a bit and eventually woke up her sister. It took over an hour to get both babies to settle down and we ended up with one in the closet again because we decided that we needed to sleep and did not want our other 2 DC to wake up.

Our plan for tonight is to put them to sleep in the same room but if one wakes up in the middle of the night and starts to fuss, we will move her into our closet.

I want them to get used to sleeping together again but really don't want to be up all night with them when I know that we can have a really peaceful nights sleep with them separated. So frustrating.

Anyone have any advice or similar experience?

mikeys_mom
09-24-2009, 11:03 AM
For the moms who followed a strict schedule, did any of you have older kids? That is the other half of my current problem. I can't enforce a strict schedule because of my older kids' schedules. Between school and activities, I just can't always be home at nap times or even bedtime once in a while. I am the only one around a lot of the time so the twins need to come with me to all this stuff.

We had a similar problem. I found that I just couldn't stick to a strict schedule because of my older kids needs. Many twin moms that I spoke to told me I would regret it but I felt it was just the best for us as a family to not have a super strict schedule. Also, my twins are not really difficult babies so they usually adapted pretty well to changes in routine. Now that they are 7 months old we try a bit harder to stick to general routines but don't sweat it if they miss a nap. I also have a FT nanny so I have started coordinating my days to make sure the babies are home with her around naptime.

mom2beofboy/girltwins
09-24-2009, 02:42 PM
We went through this same sleeping problem last night!!!

About a month ago we seperated our twins into 2 rooms for sleeping (one in crib in their room, other in co-sleeper in office room). At first we were doing this because DD wasn't sleeping consistently, but then continued it because DS was getting up twice a night to eat (11:30, 4:30am) but DD was only eating once and I didn't want him to wake her the second time he got up to eat.

For the last week, DS has only been eating once now around 2am and that's when we feed her so my DH wanted to put them back together. I don't know why he's so bent on there being a need to have them in the same room right now, but I digress... :) Last night turned into a disaster though when DS woke up fussing at midnight, but I couldn't let him get himself back to sleep since he was waking her up and because of this she was full-on crying before I could finish feeding him (which is not normal since she sometimes can make it all night without eating). Then, because he got up earlier in the night then he had been, he was up again at 5:20am (usual time is 7 am). Both babies were up and DH eventually ended up splitting them again to get them back to sleep when he left for work at 6.

I don't know that seperating them is the long term solution, but it gets us the most sleep right now, so I'm inclined to just leave it as is for right now. They start daycare next week where they'll have to sleep with all the noise/lights in the room going on so I'm thinking (hoping!) that the situation may resolve itself once they get used to sleeping there. Otherwise I'm thinking it may be easier to leave them seperated until no one has to eat at night??

Guess I can't really help you out with what to do, just wanted to let you know you weren't alone in your situation.

Maybe some people with twins that are older now could help us out with how long they may have had to seperate their twins???

fivi2
09-24-2009, 03:43 PM
We have gone through so many sleep changes, and I can't always remember when we did what...

In the beginning they slept together in the same crib, naps and night, in our room. At some point I started having to separate for naps (one crib in their room, one in ours - we have a two bedroom house). They stayed together at night for a long time.

Eventually we ended up: they share a bed in their room, but do not fall asleep well together. So we start one in our bed and one in theirs and then after they fall asleep we move the one from our bed to their bed. Sometimes they will fall asleep together, but usually we have to separate. They then share a bed for the rest of the night. They rarely wake each other up in the middle of the night.

I can't remember any other combinations! We definitely try different things. But mine did share a crib at night for a LONG time.

Melaine
09-24-2009, 03:48 PM
We have gone through so many sleep changes, and I can't always remember when we did what...

:yeahthat: I think you guys are on the right track by being flexible and just going with what works best right now to get the best night's sleep for everyone.

la mama
09-28-2009, 03:36 PM
I mentioned before that DH and I will be trying for another baby soon. For those of you with twins first and then other DC, any advice? It could be on anything. I'm just curious how life is with toddler twins and a newborn and I'd like to know before we're actually pregnant.

TwinFoxes
09-30-2009, 11:27 AM
I was on vacay last week, and trying to get back on track this week, so haven't had a chance to post until now.

My girls are 15 month fraternal twins. A lot of people think they're identical, but I don't think they look any more alike than most sisters. We knew very early that we were having twins, and boy was it a shock! I've posted before about my whole pregnancy ordeal...I'll give a brief synopsis. Everything was going smooth as silk, no problems at all. Then at 26 weeks Baby A's water broke. I left work for lunch one day, and never went back! 3 weeks on hospital bed rest, and then the girls were born by emergency C-section at exactly 29 weeks. I had been telling them I was having really bad cramps, but nothing showed on the contraction monitor, they finally did a pelvic, and saw a hand...I'm no medical professional, but that ain't right! 11 weeks in the NICU, they came home. D was on oxygen at home for three months. S has had no problems at all. They were teensy tiny. Now they are both doing amazing, they not only are on the height and weight charts, but S is above 90th percentile in height! The pediatricians usually say they want to see preemies on the charts by 24 months, so this is truly a blessing.



Four months after they came home, we moved from California to DC, and in a few weeks we'll be moving into our new house. Yeah, it's been a busy year and a half!!! It was a really tough decision to decide to be a SAHM, I loved my job. But they really needed me, they couldn't even leave the house for months. I never imagined I'd SAH, sometimes I'm still in a little disbelief that I am!

I loved reading all of your stories. It's so nice to read things and know I'm not alone. Especially about feeling a little cheated. I also feel cheated out of my pregnancy. I loved being pregnant, but was only pregnant for 6 months. It was such a rough time, that my DH doesn't want to risk another pregnancy, and honestly I don't either. But I do wish I could experience it all again, including having time to bond with ONE baby.

BeachBum
10-01-2009, 01:01 PM
Well it's October 1--so I'm going to open a new thread. Please stop posting here and instead post to the new October thread.
http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=336757