Running a Race.....(Long sorry....)

[Kitten007]

I feel like I am in a race between BFing sessions with DS2. Every 3 hours he eats (on the dot), but in between I have to take care of DS1 and myself.....and DS2 needs.

I had a major breakdown and just cried yesterday. All I wanted to do was shower, get dressed, and get a little relaxing time....AND HEAVEN FORBID...GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! BUT NO!!! DS2 cried the entire time I showered and dressed. Then DS1 was hungry and started screaming! So I am racing to get finished up...racing to feed DS1 since he can eat by himself....and racing to feed DS2 (which we call him Greedy Gut).

Finally, everyone is calmed down and everyone changed and dressed and we head out the door.

We started trying to get out at 9am and didn't leave till 3pm.

Do you ever have these days? I feel like I can never leave because it takes so much effort to get out just for an hour or two.

Should I start supplementing with Formula just to get a little bit of my time back and get out more? To spend more play time with DS1 and then spend more time with DS2? And to feel more relaxed and not always on a countdown timer?

(Supplementing with Formula = one or two bottles a day, the rest of the day BFing.)

BUT...will using Formula make me not give the best for my son because I am being selfish?!?!? HELP!!

Just feeling overwhelmed..............

[wencit]

Do you ever have these days? I feel like I can never leave because it takes so much effort to get out just for an hour or two.Do I ever have those days?! The answer is a resounding YES! I used to be a stickler for being on time to everything, but now that DS2 is here, I am perpetually late because at the last minute, he'll decide he's hungry, has a diaper blowout, whatever.

:hug: It will get easier. Soon DS2 won't be so needy, and DS1 will be able to take care of himself a little. Do you have a swing or bouncy seat, and will DS2 stay in it? I put the baby in there if I need just a few moments to myself, like take a quick shower. Or if your DH is around, try to have him take care of one son so that you can focus your attention on the other.

Hugs! Hang in there, it will get better!

[alexsmommy]

Yes. I think we've all been there. The very fact that people keep having more children is a testament to the fact that it does get better.
I pumped (not necessarily by choice, both DS's took weeks to latch) and it was such a wonderful thing to have a large stash of EBM for a bottle when I needed to later on. Either in the evening when I was done with the craziness and could ask DH to handle a feeding or to get out a little bit by myself.
Do what works for you. I truly think that the only way we can be the best mothers we can be is to figure out ways to feed our own emotional/physical needs where we can.
Hang in there. It will be so much easier in a few months.

[StantonHyde]

Repeat over and over: 1-2 bottles of formula a day never killed anyone. Supplementing with formula will not make your child turn green or grow a second head :tongue5:

It is ok to do what you have to do to stay SANE. This is the world of two kids. And you know what, they survive just fine. In those early stages, it is very hard--someone is always eating or pooping, I swear!!

I was always able to get out of the house because I knew I woud lose my mind if I didn't. And DC2 doesn't have to be dressed beyond pjs. Heck, if you are going to the grocery store, they can BOTH go in their pjs. I spent A LOT of time at the park the summer DD was born. That way DS could play and I could sit on the bench and breast feed. I used a hooter hiders because I would occasionally have to jump up and grab DS and I figured I didn't need to flash everyone ;) And when DD would sleep I would just put her in her car seat in the stroller. I also put DS in a Little Gym class so I could be in the class with DD and take care of her because there was a teacher but I was also there for DS. And it tired DS out!!

You will find a rythym. The first year is hard. Big hugs.

[smilequeen]

Personally I'd spend the formula money on a babysitter who can come over even just once or twice a week and play with the boys so you can shower alone. Giving bottles of formula would not have been my choice, but I had to do it with DS1 b/c of nursing and supply issues and it is FINE! I'm not sure how much time it really saves though.

My boys were farther apart and that definitely made a difference in the adjustment period, but there is always a time to adjust to having 2. It's HARD.

Just on the shower thing, save your older son's bathtime and hop him and some water toys in the shower with you. Do this right after your LO has been fed. Put a basket of toys in your bathroom and let yourself get ready to go. It doesn't work every day, but some days it works and you can run with the idea of getting out. Maybe once a week set up something where you feel like you have to leave and see how motivating that is. (like plan for a story time at the library/Barnes and Noble). Do things where your older one can be safe and your little one can nurse. I absolutely loved Barnes and Noble b/c I'd sit in a chair and nurse my little guy while DS1 played at the train table. Then we could all sit and read some books. And at that age my boys loved storytime and getting to color the pictures afterwards.

Don't try to get too much done. It's totally fine if you never leave your house most days.

It gets better, I promise! And eventually you'll have those two kids entertaining each other. That will come fairly soon as your LO gets more interactive. It's the BEST part of having 2.

[Kitten007]

Thank you all so much for the help and encouragement!! I needed that! I needed to know that I am not the only one who "drowns" sometimes and that life right now is normal. I thought I was "nuts" and just not capable of getting it together. Looking forward to the day when things get easier!