Frugal People: How did you get to be that way?

[ourbabygirl]

Just thinking about how some people are savers and others are spenders, and how it runs in the family.... since both of my parents are spenders, too, I'm having a hard time converting myself into a saver. DH & I have friends who are majorly frugal and while I'd love to be that way, it's just not natural to me and I really have to work hard at cutting back. I hate feeling deprived and just need to re-program myself, so I'm reading books about it, tracking our spending more, and trying to follow a budget better. It's not like I'm a big shopper, but our home and baby have really increased our spending.

How did you learn your frugal ways? From family, friends, or your spouse? From classes/ books/ t.v. or radio shows?
Are you a converted spender? If so, how long did it take to transition over enough to where you'd call yourself a saver? Is it a daily struggle to keep yourself on the frugal path?

I'm in need of some motivation and appreciate your responses!

Thanks! :thumbsup:

[niccig]

It started in childhood. We always had everything we needed, and then there was a tough time with my father's business and the bank frequently called. In the days before answering machines, my parents would have my sisters and I answer the phone and say that my parents were out. I NEVER want that to happen to DS. Financial security is very important to me.

My mother divorced my Dad and things were financial tight again for a couple of years. As soon as we got our first part-time job, my mother had us pay for school lunches, clothes etc. I also worked and put myself through college - granted not as big a deal as here as my college education in Australia was much much cheaper, as govt. supported.

I always lived within means, and then I met DH. He is a spender and earned much more than I did. I too got used to buying and not really paying attention as DH paid all the bills. I then took it over and nearly died at just MY credit card bill. Then came DS and house in very quick succession. We don't have as much disposal income anymore. We have long term priorities which mean we need to be smarter about our money.

I'm learning more about financial management through reading - online and books. DH and I are discussing things more, and arguing less. We're still not quite on the same page, so I need to find a financial planner for us to see. I think we need a 3rd party who can say "DH, you're crazy to not save more for retirement" and to say to me "Get off his back over every little purchase, you have to live too".

ETA. I do think it runs in families, but you have to talk about money. I always thought ILs were spenders and that's where DH got it from. But it turns out that ILs save a lot too, but it's not really discussed. DH had no idea how his parents dealt with money. We're already talking to DS about things, and he's saving allowance etc for things that he wants.

[sste]

I have always been frugal. I think it is because I grew up with alot of financial stress and in a relatively low-income household. Having seen firsthand what it means to live with that stress . . . and without alot of resources for solving problems especially when they crop up with your kids . . . well, I would do anything to avoid ever going back to that.

As for strategies, my two main strategies are that I own way less house than I could afford and I have a ridiculous amount of money automatically taken from our paychecks and put into savings (and by ridiculous I mean about 30% of our family's gross income for two working adults). There isn't that much left to spend after that! :)

[ha98ed14]

When you don't have a lot of money, it's easy. If you want to eat, you learn to budget well. Now we have more discretionary income that we did before, but I am still frugal about some things because I have other things I would rather spend my money on. Unless you are really struggling financially and have to cut out all extra spending, then I think you should have some things that you splurge on. We have All Clad cookwear because DH loves to cook, but I buy his khakis for work at Sam's Club for $14, and I buy most of DD's clothes at Goodwill. I spend money on picture outfits and buy new, but that is the only time. If you cut out all extra spending, you will feel deprived. You have to decide where cutting back will not hurt you. For me, I could care less if DD wears new clothes to daycare. I have had good luck finding Gymbo and Naartjie at Goodwill, so she wears that. If you are spending a lot of clothes for your kids, I would seriously consider Goodwill. So many people donate stuff in near perfect condition. The other thing we did was cut back on going out to eat because that does eat up a huge amount of your money. Now I save credit card points and redeem for gift cards to restaurants. We go out if we have a gift card or for a special occasion like a birthday. It's not that you can't go out or have nice things, but you have to choose when you want to indulge.

ETA: If you read up on people who are rich, self made or inherited, you will find that they got that way or stayed that way in part because they were frugal.

[AshleyAnn]

I'm an inbetween spender/frugal person. I think I'm the way I am is b/c DH and I got married shortly after high school and while we had enough to afford a few splurges and be able to eat. I don't feel deprived AT ALL. I'm pretty sure its not just a family/way you were raised thing - DH's family is pretty thrifty but b/c they made him get a job at 14 he got very very used to buying anything he wanted so when it came time to spend like an adult he struggled with sticking to a budget. I was raise by one of each and they both resented each other for it and like I said I'm inbetween but my older brother is a spender and can't keep gas in his car without borrowing money because he didn't think ahead.

I think its because I picked a few things are are important to me so I make the splurge and it keeps me feeling like I'm living a half life. I don't agree with Dave Ramsey's idea that cable is a splurge but I do accept that my DVR is a splurge and I could careless because I LOVE it. We also make car payments on 2 nearly new cars, we replaced two cars that constantly had issues, and I think we are breaking even on it or spending a little more but we don't notice because things like new transmissions cost $2000 at once and its a sudden payment vs. my $215 monthly car payment.

I'm a serial shopper. I feel deprived if I can't hit the stores. So to keep it affordable I made a list of all the local cosignment/secondhand (not thrift - tried that, wasn't for me) and I shopped at all of them a few times and sort of firgured out where the good deals and great finds are most likely to be and I hit anyplace worth shopping at least once a week. I buy the things that are really awesome scores. For things that aren't good 2nd hand purchases I research it and turn buying one item into a huge extravaganza. I visit multiple stores, hunt for coupons, look for signs of an upcoming sale, ask around about prices and comparable items. Sort of extends the pleasure (shopping foreplay if you wil l:)). I found that once I got used to looking for deals and big scored I started to enjoy the "I saved" as much as the "I bought" and it became a big part of the shopping experience for me.

[C99]

My parents are savers. My brother is a saver. (The jury's out on my sister.) My husband is a saver. My in-laws are savers. I am a spender.

I am a total cheapskate, but I am still a spender. For me, a lot of it is access. I do better when I am not shopping. It's difficult for me to go to the mall, even just to return something, and *not* buy something else. I stopped going to the mall.

[mom2akm]

I go through times when I'm frugal and times that I'm a spender. But I never spend what I don't have. And when I'm in the mood of spending, the amount spent is not excessive.
I am listening to the audio CD 'The millionaire next door' that I borrowed from the library. It certainly has been motivation for me to be frugal.

[wencit]

I go through times when I'm frugal and times that I'm a spender. But I never spend what I don't have. And when I'm in the mood of spending, the amount spent is not excessive.:yeahthat:

My parents grew up in South Korea during the end of World War II, as well as the Korean War, which pretty much ravaged the entire country. There were many, many nights that they both went to bed hungry. Needless to say, when they first came to the U.S., they scrimped and saved every last penny, and I just grew up that way. It wasn't until I was in high school that they had enough money that they started to spend it a little. So my parents definitely instilled the frugal side of me, although at times I feel guilty that I don't scrimp as well as they did.

[citymama]

Definitely born and raised in a frugal family. It's only been in my 30s, and particularly as a parent, that I am ever extravagant with purchases. My parents' philosophy is so deeply ingrained in me, I definitely carry it with me to this day. They hardly spent money on things, other than the necessities, but did spend money on experiences - music, theater, travel. The "not having things" bugged me even as a kid - especially clothes; as the youngest I wore the junkiest hand me downs from cousins and older sister. But I knew from an early age that if something cost more than x amount, no way was I going to get it. I never even asked. On the other hand, we saw some of the most amazing bands in concert, traveled to crazy exotic places (on a shoestring), had some of the most enriching experiences before we were 15.

My parents may or may not have been able to save much - they didn't make too much, and had to support a lot of people (grandparents included). On the other hand, I am a phenomenal saver, if I say so myself. And no debt - another thing my parents drilled in to me from an early age. So while I got into both the Ivy League schools I applied to, it was understood there was no way I could attend unless the schools gave me a full ride.

I'd love to inculcate the good part of these values - saving, living within your means, moderation - to DD, without the deprivation or denial. This is also challenging with in-laws who want to shower their only grandchild with everything her little heart desires. (I'm trying to persuade them that her college savings account is the best place to direct that affection, but no luck so far!)

[egoldber]

DH and I were both raised by parents born during or immediately after the Great Depression and WWII. Being frugal and getting the most for your money was pretty much ingrained into me. DH's parents had a lot more money (ultimately) than my family did so he has an easier time spending than I do. My parents were always poor (although we were never hungry) and very much had the use it up, make do or do without. There was no money for extras.

I still have a hard time spending money on myself.

[Melaine]

I am basically a frugal shopaholic. Essentially, I love to shop so I have to be incredibly frugal to fund that habit.
My parents are super frugal and my grandparents were as well. I learned a lot from them, especially my grandparents who were rich, but thrifty. And I am very thankful that my parents raised me to be very responsible with money. I also got a job young and my parents never gave me money. I think you just have to avoid impulse purchases and really think ahead if you want to be frugal.

[DietCokeLover]

I go through phases. Sometimes I am pretty frugal and sometimes I spend way too much.

My frugality comes out of necessity for the most part, as with our business, we only earn money for about 8 months out of the year. So, in the months where we have no income, I can be extremely frugal.

On the flip side, on the months when money is coming in, I tend to be a little reactive and think... I denied us for these months, I think I'll shop for these. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's kind of how it works out. But, even when I am buying things, I'm still pretty sensible about it and am always looking for a good deal.

[jgenie]

Great thread OP! :thumbsup:

I go in waves - there was a time right after we bought our house that we cut out all extra spending. We saved quite a bit and made great progress on our mortgage. Now that DS is here I'm back in a spending cycle. I try to buy super sale or secondhand but find that I buy too much second hand because things are so cheap. I need to work on that. :innocent:

[egoldber]

I will amend my post slightly. :) There was a time right after I became a SAHM that I spent a lot. Not a lot compared to many people I think, but a lot for me. Honestly, it was because I was bored. We moved here when I was in the third trimester with Sarah. I knew almost no one and was a little uncomfortable going too far afield with a baby in a new city. So I spent a lot of time at the malls, baby stores, etc. Hanging out on this board did not help LOL!!

After a couple years I realized that *I* was not really saving any money by shopping for all these bargains. I would do better by waiting until we really needed something and then looking for a good deal at that time. I was trying to save by buying ahead, and I mainly just ended up with a couple closets full of stuff that we didn't really need and that I didn't really want when it finally got to be time to use it.

Anyway, just sharing what it was like for me. :)

[hellokitty]

I go through phases of frugality as well. For the most part I AM frugal, but every once in a while I will splurge (although I always feel guilty about this). I was brought up by frugal parents, not just regularly frugal, but like crazy frugal to the point where we were being deprived, even though they didn't have to do it. So, I think that is why I am a little more balanced, b/c I don't want to be the crazy frugal type like my parents.

My DH is an awful spender, what I don't get is that his parents for the most part are very frugal. His mother ended up raising two sons who are big spenders and don't understand the idea of being frugal. I think this was b/c she was frugal (although every once in a while, she makes some really bizarre purchases, like $200 book ends????), BUT never talked about it with them (while on the otherhand, my parents were CONSTANTLY talking about it making us feel bad about spending any $). So, if DH and his brother wanted $100 Nikes, his mom went ahead and got it, if they wanted a new computer, they would buy him the $5,000 brand new, latest technology computer, when my DH turned 18, his parents bought him a brand new mustang convertible, they only wore ralph lauren, tommy hilfiger, etc. type of brand new clothing as well, so they were frugal about some things, but they never made a sacrifice for their appearances if that makes any sense. So, she ended up raising two boys who have gone on to feel like they are always entitled to the best and need instant gratification. On the otherhand, my parents were/are pretty well off, BUT we were dressed in the shabbiest, no-name brand clothes, that we got made fun of at school, and worse yet ppl knew my parents were well off, so it made it even worse that we looked so poor and were brought up with the attitude that spending $ was a bad thing, to this day, I know that my siblings and I all still have some guilt issues if we spend $ on ourselves, and that is due to my parents' own baggage.

My biggest problem now is the nagging. My mom will nag me about being frugal (even though I am, she always has to nag me about everything, in fact I am often more frugal than she is about a lot of things, like she will not buy generic food and I have been buying generic food since I left home) and my mil will nag me about it too, when it's her own damn son who is the spender, NOT me. So, that really gets on my nerves that she is pointing the finger at me, when *I* am not the problem her perfect son is the problem and she raised him to be that way and won't accept that she raised a spoiled brat. So, basically, I want to be frugal on my own terms, not on by my parents' crazy ways and definitely not by my mil's f'd up way in which she was frugal but her kids were spoiled brats.

[brittone2]

My parents are frugal. That helps. DH has always been frugal as well.

We will spend $ on some higher priced, better quality things. We spend a lot on food (organic, local, sustainable stuff...). However, we rarely go out to eat (once every 1-2 weeks, and usually lunch or breakfast vs. dinner). We offset those costs by being frugal in other ways. My kids' clothing is often thrifted or from big local consignment stores. I'll thrift shop for myself but that's tough when the kids are along.

I think for me, what really helped in the long haul to take away the sting of being more frugal was looking at it from an environmental standpoint, as well as a consumerism standpoint. It made me really think about how the perceived needs I feel/felt are created through marketing, etc.

Two books I've read in the past that I can remember are:
http://www.amazon.com/Affluenza-All-Consuming-Epidemic-Bk-Currents/dp/1576753573/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254235919&sr=1-11

http://www.amazon.com/Overspent-American-Want-What-Dont/dp/0060977582/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254235919&sr=1-2

I've read a few others but these are two that I remember off the top of my head.

[stefani]

I believe there is some "nature" to that, but a lot "nurture" can do. Frugality is also somewhat a subjective thing. I am somewhat frugal, but I don't go for the cheapest either. We try to teach DS to save money and be wise with using it.

The other day we were listening to "Ramona" book on CD, and Ramona was wondering about how she can get a million dollars. DS chipped in: "Save your money". I hope those lessons stick.

I try to ask myself: "Do I (we) really need this" and if the answer is yes, then "Can I (we) spend less for the same feature/usage/thing?".

The important thing is outcome should be less than income, and save.

[C99]

After a couple years I realized that *I* was not really saving any money by shopping for all these bargains. I would do better by waiting until we really needed something and then looking for a good deal at that time. I was trying to save by buying ahead, and I mainly just ended up with a couple closets full of stuff that we didn't really need and that I didn't really want when it finally got to be time to use it.

Yeah, that.

Spending $20 on stuff (I don't really need) at the thrift store is better than spending $100 retail on stuff I don't really need, but it's still spending money on stuff I don't really need. That said, I still do it because it fills my desire to shop. Some of my favorite clothing for me and DS2, and some of my DD's favorite outfits came from the thrift store. You just never know what you are going to find. I just went back to work and found my interview suit -- NWT Theory in my size -- at the thrift store.

[AnnieW625]

DH has been frugal as long as I have known him. He is a mechanical engineer and very budget oriented since projects can only cost a certain amount of money. He has also worked since he was 16.

I used to want to spend my money as I got it for birthdays and such. I was not a good saver. In college I had got an alotment of money each year from a wealthy relative, and as long as I kept good control of that money I didn't have to have a part time job and was fine with the little extra money I made as nanny/baby sitter during the school year (I always had a job during the summer though). My dad also told me at 18 that it was best to pay off my credit cards monthly. I always have and I always will.

Now I always look for things on sale, but for many things like our wardrobes we tend to buy quality over quantity. I have to be that way for my shoes because I have really bad wide big feet, but I have been used to that since I was young. I still know there is lots of improvement to be made in my savings, but we are doing our best.

[brittone2]

Yeah, that.

Spending $20 on stuff (I don't really need) at the thrift store is better than spending $100 retail on stuff I don't really need, but it's still spending money on stuff I don't really need. That said, I still do it because it fills my desire to shop. Some of my favorite clothing for me and DS2, and some of my DD's favorite outfits came from the thrift store. You just never know what you are going to find. I just went back to work and found my interview suit -- NWT Theory in my size -- at the thrift store.

I agree.

I know for me, it helps to just stay out of stores for entertainment. So no random trips to Target just for something to do as I'll leave having dropped 50-100 bucks, kwim? As a SAHM, that was something I had to learn didn't work for me... shopping for entertainment was expensive and added to the clutter. So then what would I want to do? Shop for organizing stuff to contain the clutter :ROTFLMAO: Better to avoid bringing it home in the first place (for me).

At the same time, it is really hard to maintain being frugal if you don't get those little fixes here and there. For me, it is important to still have them, but to find creative ways to get those fixes for less $$. Sometimes that's a great thrift store bargain.

When DS was young or pre-kids I really liked picking up a magazine or two at the checkout when I would be out shopping. Not every time, but it added up. I still get magazine subscriptions from my MIL, but now I often grab stuff from the library, or our little town recycling center. The recycling drop off point is behind a shopping center, and they have a small area with a shelf and a little roof overhanging it for people to drop off recent magazines to share with others. I can often drive by and pick up 2-3 good magazines...free to me, and no guilt when I recycle them at home or drop them back off for someone to enjoy. A good magazine and an afternoon cup of tea or coffee on the deck while the kids play outside feels like a treat, but is budget friendly. I have to find those little things so I don't feel deprived, etc. and then get the urge to make a big splurge, kwim?

[kijip]

When I grew up there were more months than not that our food for a last few days of the month was bought with loose change from the couch etc. I waited in line at food banks. We never went hungry, but there were times there was not plentiful food. More often than not, my shoes were very worn/with holes/too small before they were replaced.

I won't do that to my children. I am frugal so that we can afford to always meet our needs and then some. With a few exceptions, money is usually better off in my bank account than out. Being frugal does not mean being stingy or cheap however, and I do make sure, sometimes too much so, that my kids have material comforts.

It also helps that shopping is somewhere above root canal and somewhere below cleaning my bathroom on my list of enjoyable activities. Now, I do like cleaning a lot more than some, so it's not a miserable activity to me but it is not something that I will make reasons up to go to the store etc. I like to get in and get out FAST. I don't even like milling around a farmer's market. For some reason the expectation of spending money makes me a little nervous. I think it is because I had a few brushes with spending more than I should and not saving/planning enough- for example when I got my first job out of high school I bought a new pair of shoes each and every pay period. :ROTFLMAO:

My frugality is pretty much based on my childhood. My parents were frugal because they had to be and they never got ahead when they did not have to be so while I learned a lot of what TO DO from them, I also learned a lot of what NOT TO DO from them. I can make dinner for nothing and cook from scratch as easily as not so I am grateful to my parents for those lessons and patterns.

[ourbabygirl]

Thanks for the replies, Everyone!

Do any of you SAHMs find that you're spending more money by being home now? Now, not only have we lost my income from not working, but I get too bored (and isolated!) sitting around the house all day with DD. Unfortunately, no friends or relatives offered us hand-me-down clothes, toys, books, or other baby/ kid supplies, so I've needed to buy all of that stuff. It's not like I'm constantly buying toys & clothes for her, and what I do buy, I almost always get from Goodwill or a resale shop (and I look for sales & bargains from regular stores). But with the toys and books, I get them for her because it helps me stay interested and occupy her (and enrich both of us) during the day. There's only so much crawling around the house that I can watch :).
Also, since I take her for a lot of walks and out on errands and to classes and such, I like having nice quality strollers (easy to push) and other items to make things more convenient (snack holder for DD, etc.). So while I do whatever free activities we can do (story time at the library), I also like doing other things that cost money (membership to the zoo, Music Together class, the gas to drive around since we're in a rural/ suburban area and far from where most of these things are).

I'm frustrated with myself because so many of my WOHM acquaintances aren't spending money on anything other than diapers and daycare (though I know other people who have their parents watching the DC for free!).
Anyone else (SAHMs) BTDT? Does it get any better as the kids get older and more mobile? (DD's too young still to use the parks since she's not walking.) I'm worried, with the colder weather coming, that we'll find even fewer free things to do and fewer opportunities.

[kijip]

I def. spend more money when not working full-time. It's not for stuff so much as activities like lunch with my SAHD brother, going to a movie or similar, or driving to distant park etc. When I go back to work full-time, I know that my extra spending and driving will decrease by a lot. I am lucky that we don't have to pay for childcare until we choose to go to preschool (age 3 and 1/2+) because my husband is off some (2-3) weekdays and my dad covers the 1-3 days that we need, per his insistence.

[egoldber]

Well, I definitely spent a lot more on general stuff when I was a SAHM. As I said, I turned to recreational shopping for awhile as an outlet. I managed to get over that, but it was hard to give up shopping as my primary leisure activity.

[lizzywednesday]

Just like other posters here, I have swings of feast-or-famine, although over the past year, when I did not get a raise and my husband did, I've made a conscious effort to be more cognizant of the way I'm spending my money. (And it is *my* money - DH and I have not combined finances. It works for us.)

I'm reluctant to spend on myself, but will spend on family with no question. I'll do my best to find the best quality for the best deal, but that's not always the case. (I spent a total of $350 on my sister's shower gifts, but I purchased the things I chose for her over 6 months, starting with the Pandora charm bracelet I started for her to the tune of $150 when she finally told me she was pregnant.)

Also, I find that I am more inclined to make poor purchasing decisions at the grocery store than in a regular store ... often, I have a lot of fun "window shopping" and learn a lot about products in-store before finding better deals online or waiting for them to go on sale.

[C99]

Do any of you SAHMs find that you're spending more money by being home now?
Anyone else (SAHMs) BTDT?

I realize that I am now working, but until 3 weeks ago, I was a SAHM to 3, so I think I can still answer your questions truthfully. When I had my first or second, I would take them to a class and then get a cup of coffee or something just to kill time. That wasn't so much when it was me and a non-eater, but then you add 1 kid who wants a chocolate milk and the price goes up. Add 2 more kids and a Starbucks run becomes a $10 minimum - and that is doing it on the cheap (you can have a cookie OR a milk). I definitely spent more money when I became a SAHM. So much of shopping is accessibility. It's easy to go to Target at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday and waste an hour and $100 and have lunch/coffee when you are either not working or a SAHM.

I stopped for awhile when my oldest was around 4 because going shopping with 3 kids was NOT fun. But I still spent money. I'd take them to a museum and while entry might have been free, invariably we wanted lunch, a snack, etc. I was not very motivated to pack a lunch, snacks, etc. - probably because my kids would demand them as soon as we got in the car if they knew they were there. Then my eldest started school, my youngest had a regular afternoon nap, my middle had preschool and it was difficult to take them to do anything that didn't involve a store or lunch out.

[Globetrotter]

Ironic that I'm posting here after just answering the shopper thread :) but I think I am a bit of both, or a careful shopper. We grew up clipping coupons and finding deals, so that is in my blood. However, I am trying really hard to distance myself from parents who buy a lot of stuff on sale because it's cheap, as a result of hoarding tendencies.

While most of my WOHM friends (who I assume earn more than we do on a single income??) buy things/do home improvements when they want them (and also don't always have the luxury to wait and see) we tend to wait until they go on sale/clearance and I spend time shopping for the best deal - I am a researcher at heart. I think that is the biggest difference with me SAH. I have also made a conscious effort to not spend a lot of money on snacks and meals when I take the kids out, though it's a moot point now that they are in school. However, even when I do my errands, I limit these extra expenses because it does add up. And yes, I am the coupon queen, though I can't bring myself to clip grocery coupons!

ETA: An example... I went shopping with a couple of good friends. One is a SAH but not a big shopper. The other WOH and is a huge shopper :) They both bought a skirt at J Jill at full price, over $100. They were commenting how I didn't buy anything that day, but that's because I didn't seen anything worth spending money on, and the prices were too high. I waited and got the same skirt at the outlet for $20 :)

[pb&j]

I'm basically a saver. I will spend money on things, but I don't spend money I don't have. I get it from my parents. They always looked for things on sale, paid cash, and they drove their cars forever. They were able to take us on vacations and send my sister and I to college, and I attribute that to them living within their means. That means no crazy impulse purchases, no fancy cars, and disciplined saving.

DH is pretty much a saver, too. His parents are known for ridiculous impulse purchases of automobiles that they turn around and sell 2 years later at a huge loss. In the 8 or so years I have known them they have bought and sold a 4Runner, a Prius, a Corvette, a Volvo wagon, a truck, an RV, a trailer for the truck, and two Highlanders. That is not cool! Luckily, DH did not inherit that little gem from his parents.

For me, I try to buy only what I need - I don't usually buy ahead on kids' clothing, and neither they nor I have a ton of clothes or shoes. Our cars are paid off, and when we don't have a car payment, the amount we would be paying on a car payment goes into savings so that we can make a big down payment next time we need a car. We rarely go to the movies, but we do find plenty of fun things to do as a family that are free or cheap. I almost never buy books for myself any more - I get everything from the library, though I do buy kids' books. I try to buy kid gear used, or on really good discount. I shop and sell at consignment sales.

Basically, if I can't pay for it with the money in my checking account, I don't buy it. Nothing goes on a CC that won't be paid off immediately. If we need to buy something over time (house, car, home improvement), we will use our HELOC for the great interest rate and tax deductible interest. And then we pay it down as quickly as possible. Even though our HELOC currently has only a very small balance, we have budgeted a set monthly payment, so that we know we will have the money to pay on it should we need to use it.

IMO, it really helps once a year or so to do a budget - figure all your expenses, and compare it against your income. Where can you trim some items? How much is your kids' clothing/latte/handbag habit really costing?

[calv]

I think it's just an instinct for me. It's a thrill to find a bargain but many time it boils down to spending on something that isn't a need or must have, make sense?

I refuse to pay full price for anything. It really kills me.

[niccig]

Do any of you SAHMs find that you're spending more money by being home now?
Anyone else (SAHMs) BTDT? Does it get any better as the kids get older and more mobile? (DD's too young still to use the parks since she's not walking.) I'm worried, with the colder weather coming, that we'll find even fewer free things to do and fewer opportunities.

I did at first. I needed to get in and out of the store quickly, and I was still working out exactly what we needed. Now that DS is nearly 5, I definitely spend less. I have more time, so I can look around for bargains - I'm a research queen, and I have the time to do things from scratch - cooking, repairs etc. I also know what DS likes and needs. I see some great bargains here, but DS doesn't need it or won't like it so much, so it's easier to say no. We also don't need baby gear or clothes as often. DS doesn't grow out of sizes quickly and he's been in the same car seats for 2 years and will still fit for 2 more years.

He's in school now, and I am looking for work, but meanwhile I'm the house handyman. I have a number of jobs that I can do myself rather than pay someone, and I have the time to work it out. I stopped up the garage disposal, so DH took the pipes apart and I went to Home Depot to buy a drain snake and snaked the drain myself. It cost $40 rather than $150+ for a plumber. When DS was a baby, I called the plumber.

I'm also getting more concerned about savings because of the economy. DH and I have saved a lot more this year than in previous years, and I'm going to continue doing that.

[jgenie]

Anyone else (SAHMs) BTDT? Does it get any better as the kids get older and more mobile? (DD's too young still to use the parks since she's not walking.) I'm worried, with the colder weather coming, that we'll find even fewer free things to do and fewer opportunities.

I think I spent more when DS was younger. It was so easy to just pack him up and go. If I wore him in a carrier we could shop for hours!! He has now hit a stage where he does not want to get in his car seat. I find that now I generally make fewer trips to shop because I don't want to go through the struggle if I don't have to.

[HIU8]

really, for me, it was out of a basic need to not have a zero balance in my bank account. I was not frugal and was not taught to be frugal by my parents (who had pretty large CC bills). I really feel that we don't need as much and can get by without some things so that there is $$ saved and/or for the more important things.