Those That Shop

[AshleyAnn]

For those that are big shoppers do people give you grief or make you feel guilty for shopping?


I'm a big shopper. I love to shop but just because I'm 'shopping' doesn't mean I'm 'spending' and when I do spend its almost always a good deal or a need. My friends and family has taken to getting upset when they asks me what I'm doing and I say "shopping" and I've taken to lying about what I'm doing. I'm so tired of hearing "Must be nice" "Oh I can't afford to shop" "I thought you guys were struggling this month" ect. I'm having a baby in less than 8 weeks (probably less than 6) and no one threw me a baby shower so I have a lot to shop for and I HATE to be couped up in the house so I go out to 'shop' and just wander through the aisles not buying anything.

How do you handle the nasty comments about your financial situation compared to others? We've always been the ones who made less than everyone else but the economy has changed things for our friends/family but not so much for us.

[IDcam]

I love to shop! Now that I'm a SAHM (with only one DC) it seems that I'm obssessing over one product after another. :wink2: I also love to research like crazy before I buy something. The way I see it, people can make comments all they want and they sure will! But as long as the spending doesn't get out of hand and cause fights with DH then have your fun! I always say, "Different things make different people happy". I wouldn't spend $200 on a pair of jeans but my sister would. I have spent over $600 for a stroller but my sister wouldn't. The only comments that bother me are the ones that come from the people paying my bills (i.e. DH). :D

[veronica]

I love to shop! Now that I'm a SAHM (with only one DC) it seems that I'm obssessing over one product after another. :wink2: I also love to research like crazy before I buy something. The way I see it, people can make comments all they want and they sure will! But as long as the spending doesn't get out of hand and cause fights with DH then have your fun! I always say, "Different things make different people happy". I wouldn't spend $200 on a pair of jeans but my sister would. I have spent over $600 for a stroller but my sister wouldn't. The only comments that bother me are the ones that come from the people paying my bills (i.e. DH). :D
:yeahthat: except that I have been spending a bit too much the past two months!

[kozachka]

I am in a somewhat the same boat as you are, at least I was, whereby I would spend a lot of time shopping but not really spending that much. I shopped mostly online though. Question is are you truly not spending that much? And is there something more productive that you could be doing with your time? For me the answer to these two questions was "not really" (even though I was not spending much in comparison to my income) and "yes", which is why I cut way down on shopping. Not having a job has really helped with putting the brakes on ;) since a) I don't have to be as nicely dressed up for my current lifestyle, and b) I feel bad spending our hard-earned savings/money that DH earns.

That said, given how late you are in the pregnancy, enjoy your shopping and have fun. Keep receipts in case you want to later return a few things.

[Melaine]

I have a rep for being a big shopper. But, truthfully, I spend a LOT less than people would think. I window shop a lot, I buy things for other people, I return things frequently, and I re-sell a lot too. It's a hobby to me. People don't usually criticize (well, my dad makes teasing remarks) and as long as DH doesn't mind it's no big deal if they think I am wasting my money. They usually don't complain when they receive a totally awesome gift from me with an MSRP 5xs all the other gifts because I am a skilled shopper:loveeyes:

[TwinFoxes]

How do you handle the nasty comments about your financial situation compared to others?

That's easy, I don't hang out with "friends" who make nasty comments to me. I mean seriously, they should get a life! Unless you are constantly complaining about being broke, and in the next breath saying, I'm going shopping, they need to butt out.


They usually don't complain when they receive a totally awesome gift from me with an MSRP 5xs all the other gifts because I am a skilled shopper:loveeyes:

:yeahthat: I'm a REALLY good gift giver. DH's sisters thank their lucky stars that I took over the gift giving duties! :)

Pre-k (pre-kids) I shopped a LOT. LA is a shopping paradise! I still shop a lot, now mostly online, and mostly for the girls. My wardrobe has taken a hit, because the girls aren't patient enough to wait for me to try things on in the dressing room. Even so, we do enjoy walking around the mall, even if I don't buy anything. But we don't go nearly as often as I used to when I wasn't a mom. (I also prefer taking the girls somewhere a little more enriching than the mall...now that we live in DC, there are great museums etc, so we go there.)

[Globetrotter]

I'm a REALLY good gift giver. DH's sisters thank their lucky stars that I took over the gift giving duties! :)

:yeahthat: People do tease me a LOT. However, they are very happy when they get really nice gifts from me, and I am very open with my skills so they don't feel bad that I spent a fortune. We have to buy gifts to take to India every couple of years, and I collect these when I see something good so, by the time we have to go, most of the shopping is done. My friends, OTOH, spend more and get so-so stuff.


have a rep for being a big shopper. But, truthfully, I spend a LOT less than people would think. I window shop a lot, I buy things for other people, I return things frequently, and I re-sell a lot too. It's a hobby to me.

Me, too. They also come to me when they need something so I'm their shopping consultant! I often buy things for people (party favors for their birthdays, birthday outfits) who are shopping impaired. In fact, my friend has put out an order for a party dress for her one year old :) I enjoy it, they are appreciative, so everyone is happy! DH doesn't complain TOO much because he knows I am a deal shopper. However, he absolutely hates all the packages and bags of "stuff I have to return" from zappos, REI and Lands End. I'm trying to get better about returning things promptly so they don't take up space! i also resell some of the primo stuff..

I don't always tell people what I'm doing because I do feel some judgement. I think it's fine because I know what I'm doing and we're living within our means (in fact, we are reorganizing and I've even been able to find organizers for cheap at Tuesday morning, whereas my friends go directly to the Container store and pay a small fortune). It's a challenge for me to find these deals :) I think it's important to live within your means, above all else. As long as you're doing that, noone has the right to criticize!

ETA: Even DH was astounded that I managed to get EIGHT pairs of shoes from shoetraders for $150, thanks to an awesome tip here. Silly me, I got so excited that I accidentally ordered doubles of one pair so I have to try ebaying them! That's the first time I've done that ... must have been the adrenaline rush :)

ETA: I no longer buy stuff just because it's on sale - the shoetrader deal was unusual, but it's so hard to find my size that this was the first time I've ever gone wild at a shoe sale since my feet grew :) I spend a lot of time analyzing whether we need it and if it's a good value, so just because I'm a shopper does NOT mean I am careless with money. I think that is a common misconception, and probably true in many cases.

[EllasMum]

My mom and I go shopping every Saturday - it's just sort of an unspoken promise. We have lunch in the mall, cruise the stores, and maybe buy stuff, maybe not. My dad always rolls his eyes and refers to this as "recreational shopping". :)

My BFF recently asked me, incredulously, how I can go shopping *every* weekend. I told her that I do not BUY every weekend - and if I do buy stuff, it is typically stuff we need for daily living. BFF then asked "but what do you DO in the mall if you're not buying???" I just had to LOL and tell her that I'd be quite happy to give her a recreational shopping lesson any time she likes. ;)