What would you do if DC's imaginary friend was...

[baymom]

Dora the Explorer? DD (3 years old) is obsessed with Dora and plans daily parties for her. She makes invitations, decorates the house, collects snacks and sets the table, ect. Of course, Dora never comes and then in the evening, she'll tell me Dora was sick, or Dora had lots of traffic, ect. It is truly heart breaking and has been going on for weeks. She has phone conversations with her a million times a day and even chooses what to wear based on what she thinks Dora might like. If feel like if this were some other 'non-character' imaginary friend, it would be easier, but this is so hard to watch. Any advice on what I should say? I just usually agree with her reasons... "yes, there was a lot of traffic today or yes, there seems to be a flu going around, ect."

[veronica]

I think it's cute. She is at that age where this would be normal.

Besides, wouldn't any imaginary friend have trouble "showing up" ? I'd just tell her that Dora must have been on an adventure and couldn't make it and then focus on the fun things you and DD did that day!

[hbridge]

We're all about imaginary friends over here, but they show up whenever and wherever they please. We had 15 chickens knock on our hotel room door one day and later that day Dora actually went swimming with us.

The fact that Dora never actually comes is interesting. Could your DC be working our some emotions? My DH has a crazy schedule and I often hear DC talk about traffic, trains and planes that are late, and traveling to X places when they are playing alone. I think it's the childs way of working through these emotions.

IMO, it's all good. Imaginary friends and pretend play give kids the control over their lives that is so hard to get when they are this young.

However, reading your post again, is she disappointed when Dora doesn't come or is she very matter-of-fact about it? If she's disappointed then it might be time to let her know that Dora isn't really going to come. BUT if it doesn't seem to bother her, I'd just go along with it. If she is okay with the reason Dora didn't show, it's probably just part of her play.

[pinkmomagain]

My dd3 has alot of imaginary phone conversations with characters...often arranging playdates with them. But that's where it ends. I think your daughter is quite clever and imaginative for coming up with legitimate excuses for Dora not showing up...she is certainly committed to her "role"! It also seems to be a way for her to "save face" when the party items are all still set out, but no guest. I think I'd go on handling it the way you have been. As a pp mentioned, the only way I'd be concerned is if she seems to be truly disappointed each time that Dora has not showed up (sad, crying).

[Mikey0709]

(Lightheartily).... i would love it if Dora came to our house and Anakin Skywalker and the Clone Troopers would leave for awhile!!!! I'm tired of ducking when i get into the kitchen because THEY"RE TRYING TO GET YOU MOM!!!!! I was just thinking recently i wonder if ME playing along is good or bad?? My sons seem to love it.

Honestly - i too think it's very imaginative that she follows through with the story and stays on the story-line for COMPLETE train of thought.... she is very focused for her age!

[egoldber]

The fact that Dora never actually comes is interesting.

I also find this to be the most interesting part. Dora and Diego are regulars in our home and Swiper and the Bobos live in the "rainforest" in our house (the dining room). But they are there and present (in Amy's mind). I would wonder a little about this and perhaps reflect on why this might be such an integral part of the play for her.

Pretend play is definitely how kids work out and deal with all types of things in their lives. I find out a lot about my kids by listening to them play with their toys. I was a little scared the day that Amy was grasping her Barbie with a stranglehold and telling her sternly "You GO WORK! You go work NOW!"

[tamie]

My Katie talks to imaginery friends all the time- especially the Disney Princesses on her pretend cell phone.

Last night, she said she talked to her Aunt Kel in heaven.

For awhile she had a friend named LeeLee Sosa (she made up the name) and she had names for her family and everything. We acknowledged and played along and then one day she didn't talk about her anymore. We make sure that the pretend friend has the same rules as she does. I think its great that she has such an imagination.

[Melaine]

I have been a little concerned lately with my girls talking about bad guys. They even threatened to hit the "bad guys" with a rolling pin. They were yelling "RUN AWAY RUN AWAY", but they always seem to be laughing about it though, not even pretending to be scared. Still, I was surprised they even knew the term.

Yesterday they were talking about running away from pumpkins so I guess the imagination evolves with the season.

[AnnieW625]

I think it's perfectly normal.