Can I set privacy settings so people can't view my "friends" on facebook?

[JustMe]

I am still struggling with the to facebook or not to facebook question. I am technically "on" facebook as I have an account and one friend. However, no one can really identify me as there are others with my identical name and none of us have identifying info for people to be able to determine which one is me (if that makes any sense). With facebook becoming so widely used I am considering adding my city as a network and adding more local friends. However, I have some big hesitations about this including the fact that I have worked with very troubled teens and have been close to stalked in the past...plus, I just reallly don't like the idea of anyone being able to see who my "friends" are. It seems in the privacy settings it is easy enough to set "friends only" so that people who are just searching can't see my friends. Is this true? I ask because when I search I find lots of people who keep lots of things private, but I have not found anyone whose "friends" I could not view without having to add them as a friend.

Hope this makes sense. Thanks for any help!

[citymama]

Yes, you can set it up so your profile photo and friends list are invisible to anyone who isn't your friend. They don't have much info to go by to identify you. You can even make your list of friends invisible to your friends by going to Privacy Settings.

[JustMe]

Thanks so much! If anyone has any other advice before I plunge in and finally do this, let me know.

[mommylamb]

I just went into privacy settings to see if I could do this, and I couldn't see how to. If you go to friends it gives you the choice of "Everyone on Facebook", "Friends of Friends", and "Friends Only" (which is what mine is set at). It also allows you to customize and say that specific people can't see your friends, but it does not seem to allow you to have no one see your friends.

[citymama]

I just went into privacy settings to see if I could do this, and I couldn't see how to. If you go to friends it gives you the choice of "Everyone on Facebook", "Friends of Friends", and "Friends Only" (which is what mine is set at). It also allows you to customize and say that specific people can't see your friends, but it does not seem to allow you to have no one see your friends.

You can Customize and exclude everyone. The best way to do this is set up a list into which all your friends can go. But most likely, you don't want all your friends to be excluded from this info, just some of them.

Re setting it up so people who search for your profile aren't able to see your friends list or photo, it's easy. You can do so under "Search" settings.

[lorinick]

I can't see how this is done. But I'm not understanding what the big deal if people can see your friends list is.

[JustMe]

I can't see how this is done. But I'm not understanding what the big deal if people can see your friends list is.

I have worked with mentally ill people in my community and prefer that they and some others not know who my friends are as they can find ways to find me if they know people I know (if that makes any sense). For example, one person I worked with who has stalked me in the past (called my home phone which is unlisted, I have no idea how she got it...made general threats when I knew her that one day she would see me again and I would not be happy , stole one of my co-workers keys somehow at the time we all were together), has someone on her friend board who I happen to know. Her "friend" works at a school I consult with....so, if I had a friend my "ex-stalker" knew through some loose location, she might ask her where she works, show up one day, etc....sounds crazy and paranoid I know, but it is important for my piece of mind.

Also, on a less intense note, there are people I will not feel comfortable adding as my friend (i.e. an ex boss, etc). If they request to add me as a friend I can tell them that I only use it to keep up with family matters, I'm not really on much, or something like that. If they can see that I have many friends, including some they know, this makes things more complicated. Basically, I live in a community that is very small in some ways. There are people I also need to maintain professional relationships with that I dont want as facebook friends and need to be able to do this without hurting their feelings/causing problems.

If it doesn't cause any problem for you, then there is no problem!

[lorinick]

I have worked with mentally ill people in my community and prefer that they and some others not know who my friends are as they can find ways to find me if they know people I know (if that makes any sense). For example, one person I worked with who has stalked me in the past (called my home phone which is unlisted, I have no idea how she got it...made general threats when I knew her that one day she would see me again and I would not be happy , stole one of my co-workers keys somehow at the time we all were together), has someone on her friend board who I happen to know. Her "friend" works at a school I consult with....so, if I had a friend my "ex-stalker" knew through some loose location, she might ask her where she works, show up one day, etc....sounds crazy and paranoid I know, but it is important for my piece of mind.

Also, on a less intense note, there are people I will not feel comfortable adding as my friend (i.e. an ex boss, etc). If they request to add me as a friend I can tell them that I only use it to keep up with family matters, I'm not really on much, or something like that. If they can see that I have many friends, including some they know, this makes things more complicated. Basically, I live in a community that is very small in some ways. There are people I also need to maintain professional relationships with that I dont want as facebook friends and need to be able to do this without hurting their feelings/causing problems.

If it doesn't cause any problem for you, then there is no problem!

I do understand what your saying, but I think many people do struggle with co worker and bosses you don't want to be friends with. I just private messages things I don't want anyone else to know. But your situation is more concerning than most. If your able to acheive this status with your friends list I would love to know. It may come in handy. Good luck. I didn't mean to come off acting like youi were paranoid. Sorry.

[citymama]

If you are *really* concerned, you can also be totally invisible on FB to non-friends or anyone who searches for you. I know several people who've done this, and can add friends but not be added by anyone else. You won't even show up on someone else's list of friends. However, if you post to someone's wall, their friends will be able to see you posted - just not click on your name or see anything about you.

[JustMe]

Thanks everyone. I do realize that not many people feel strongly about this.

Wow, I would love to know how to *not* show up on others' friends list...I think I have figured out everything else (just pick the "only friends" choice and individually list any friends who I do not want to be able to view my friends), but I cannot figure out how to be invisible on others' lists. If you know how to do this, please let me know, thanks!

[khm]

Go to Settings > Privacy > Search. Then, you can use the checkboxes to turn off what people who search for you can see. (Your pic, your friends, etc.) Some of my friends do this. They show up, but only as the little cartoon guy on a few public networks, unless I'm logged in and then I can see the pic because it "knows" we are friends.

On Privacy > Profile you can adjust so that only your friends can see your other friends.

The best thing to do would be to adjust them, then use the See how a friend sees your profile: box and type your friend's name in. Then, you'll see it how she would see it. Also, log out and search for yourself and make sure you like what is out there.

[bluestar2]

" You won't even show up on someone else's list of friends. However, if you post to someone's wall, their friends will be able to see you posted - just not click on your name or see anything about you. "

[khm]

bluestar2, try the first paragraph I just posted. I think it might turn your picture off to everyone but your friends. It's confusing b/c it's talking about search though.....