Nevermind.

[conniez]

Update: a mutual friend told me that my now ex-friend had been acting strange some months ago and so mutual friend chose to distance herself. This worries me and I really hope she's okay.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have dropped people that take too many quizzes. :) Maybe it's something totally innocuous like that? For a borderline friend, I get pretty quick with my delete key. Could be that she just wanted to pare down her list to only have close friends or family? YOu never know. I wouldn't get too invested in it.

Beth

[misshollygolightly]

Sometimes this happens if a person deletes his/her facebook account (usually b/c they want to take a break from FB, or b/c they want to get rid of some of the excess applications). Once they re-create their account, they have to add friends all over again. Several of my friends have done this--it d/n mean they don't like you or something. Just that they are in the process of rebuilding their friends list (and may have accidentally overlooked you, or be waiting for you to re-add them, or perhaps focusing primarily on closer, IRL friends). If I were you and I valued this person's friendship, I'd add her back as a friend and send her a nice, short message just checking on her and updating her on your life.

[MoJo]

OP deleted OP.

[mariza]

I've dropped friends on FB because they have "friended" an ex-boyfriend of mine. These are basically the group of people I hung out with as a teenager, it was nothing personal against my FB friends, just that this particular ex did something really aweful and unforgiveable and I have no desire to allow him to know ANYTHING about me or my children. I did however expalin to my FB friends that I would happily keep in touch via email. Some offered to drop him off their list, but I really didn't want to cause drama for them. It could be that is the case with your work friend in that they didn't want any of their info to get to this other work friend.

[khalloc]

I had friends get randomly deleted on me. Its happened a few times. I asked one girl and she said she didnt delete me on purpose. I've heard from other people who said it happened to them too, where friends have gotten deleted. Maybe I am naive but I did ask this one friend and she said she didnt delete me. So I believe her. I think it CAN BE a facebook bug.

[mommylamb]

One person on my friends list (with whom I am not close, and never have been... not really sure why she friended me to begin with), has gone off and come back onto my friends list several times. Not sure what's up with that, but I don't really care because it's not someone that impacts my life.

[vonfirmath]

I wouldn't put too much stock in who your friends are on Facebook. I certainly don't overthink before I delete friends. I've found that the more friends I have, the slower certain things work. So have started paring down to the people who post the pictures/updates of what is going on in their lives, etc. (Ie the stuff I want to see). Not the ones who just do games and quizzes (which I never see cause I've hidden all those)

[conniez]

I actually don't spend much time on there, so I don't do the quizzes or games you guys mentioned. I just happened to log in to see if a family member posted pics from a b-day party & that's when I noticed she wasn't on my list anymore.

I actually did send this friend a note and tried to re-add her, and she denied it (I could tell because the "Add as friend" button showed up later when I checked) and never responded to the message. This person is actually very sweet, and she was one of a small group of people who went so far as to throw me a baby shower when I first started working at the law firm (& at that time I had only been there a few months). This is why I really just can't fathom why she would try to cut off contact with me.

[mommylamb]

Do you have her phone number or email address? I'd reach out personally and ask if you did something to offend her.

[Fairy]

I deleted all work people. I just came to a point where I got more comfortable on FB and realized that certain FB connections are not wise. Your friend may be feeling some flavor of this. YOu can send her a PM in FB and ask her, or you can just drop it. Sorry this happened, I know how it can make you feel.

[ha98ed14]

Unless someone really pissed me off, I would never do that because of the risk of hurting someone's feelings. It's not like it costs you any money to have more friends. And you can block having to see their stuff on your news list thing. I'm sorry. If she is an otherwise petty person, I would just attribute it to that.

[Fairy]

Unless someone really pissed me off, I would never do that because of the risk of hurting someone's feelings. It's not like it costs you any money to have more friends. And you can block having to see their stuff on your news list thing. I'm sorry. If she is an otherwise petty person, I would just attribute it to that.

Just to clarify why I mentioned this is cuz you mentioned work connections. I do not want my work people knowing what I'm doing in my daily life. When I first joined FB, it was during a work meeting where I got strongarmed into joining. I later deleted my account. When I re-joined months later, I was stuck wtih them as FB friends, and that meant I had to be careful what I disucssed on FB. I might be able to block them from my feed but if I'm their friend, then in some way they can see at least a small portion of my stuff. I want them seeing none of my stuff, as in the long run, it's usually not wise to mix every element of yoru personal life you expose on FB with work. At least for me. There's no easy way to unfriend someone, so I jsut did it cold turkey, and if they ask me, I'll tell them I just have pared down my FB account to a few people and don't want to FB work folks, and I am sure they will get it. You mentioned a work connection, and so I thought that reasoning might help.

[conniez]

I was thinking maybe it was because we were co-workers, but she does have a few of our old co-workers as her friends still. TBH, I can't think of anything I could've done to make her do this. I left the firm a year and a half ago for maternity leave, I've been home with my daughter since then, and she even contacted ME during that time to ask how I was doing. Then out of nowhere...this.

[DebbieJ]

I've had people delete me too. I don't take it personally. It's just Facebook.

[vonfirmath]

Unless someone really pissed me off, I would never do that because of the risk of hurting someone's feelings. It's not like it costs you any money to have more friends. And you can block having to see their stuff on your news list thing. I'm sorry. If she is an otherwise petty person, I would just attribute it to that.


My Friends list had become long enough that when I go to list "All Friends" on my home connection, sometimes the website times out trying to do it. When that happened multiple times, I decided i needed to do something about it.

[KpbS]

I was thinking maybe it was because we were co-workers, but she does have a few of our old co-workers as her friends still. TBH, I can't think of anything I could've done to make her do this. I left the firm a year and a half ago for maternity leave, I've been home with my daughter since then, and she even contacted ME during that time to ask how I was doing. Then out of nowhere...this.

Any chance she is jealous of you? Is she married? Have cute kiddos? She may resent you being able to stay at home (no flames please) w/ your DD. I have seen this play out socially before. Try not to take it personally (definitely easier said than done) and realize that while it hurts, not everyone is going to like you. I struggle w/ this too sometimes. :hug:

[Sillygirl]

I deleted a high school acquaintance who posted five links to YouTube rants about how flu vaccine is a plot to - I dunno - lead to mind control and make tons of profit$ for drug companies. I finally got tired of seeing my whole news feed taken up with that nonsense, so boom - my first defriending.

[dogmom]

And this is why I don't want to log onto my facebook account......

I basically set it up so people at work can see pictures of my kids, the ones I'm socially friends with at work, but we may get on different schedules and I don't see for months.

I have people that asked me to be friends that I knew years ago and had no contact with since. I have people I asked that I sort of knew and now I think, "great, what do I do with this information?" Personally for me to have facebook be actually useful it should actually reflect my friends group, which would be small.

Of course to trim the list down, which is still less than 30 I would probably spark some drama like this. Easier just to never log on.....I'll use the phone, wait for the next social networking site, and be more careful next time.

What I'm trying to get to is there is a good chance this delete has nothing to do with you, so why be offended.

[Fairy]

And I have people that asked me to be friends that I knew years ago and had no contact with since. I have people I asked that I sort of knew and now I think, "great, what do I do with this information?" Personally for me to have facebook be actually useful it should actually reflect my friends group, which would be small.

Yep. This would be me.

[conniez]

And this is why I don't want to log onto my facebook account......

I basically set it up so people at work can see pictures of my kids, the ones I'm socially friends with at work, but we may get on different schedules and I don't see for months.

I have people that asked me to be friends that I knew years ago and had no contact with since. I have people I asked that I sort of knew and now I think, "great, what do I do with this information?" Personally for me to have facebook be actually useful it should actually reflect my friends group, which would be small.

Of course to trim the list down, which is still less than 30 I would probably spark some drama like this. Easier just to never log on.....I'll use the phone, wait for the next social networking site, and be more careful next time.

What I'm trying to get to is there is a good chance this delete has nothing to do with you, so why be offended.

I can see what you are saying, and I'm not one of those people who has 5000 friends on my list. Maybe I am just a different type of person then...because I would never intentionally ignore a message from a friend....even if we had grown apart. I can understand the different reasons to delete someone who has never done anything to you (now that I've heard from all of you), but it's still crappy that she disregarded my message when I asked if I did anything wrong. I would be the one to be upfront and just say "It's because you're friends with so-and-so" or "I'm just trying to keep my list small, etc etc".

[Fairy]

This intentional disregarding of your message is a definite message. Which sucks. I'm very sorry :-(. It would be nice if she were just honest with you. You may not want to hear what she has to say, but at least you'd know. So sorry.

[TwinFoxes]

There are so many possible innocent explanations. It doesn't have to be drama. Maybe she was a victim of a Facebook spam attack, and she shut down her email and her Facebook account (there were several people I worked with who shut down their work email addresses because of spam.). Don't stress, especially since you weren't close.

ETA: she should have responded to your note, but some people aren't Facebook savvy and maybe she thought she had to refriend you to reply (if you sent it through FB)

[Globetrotter]

FB can lead to so many misunderstandings. Maybe she is paring down her list in general, as I've been tempted to do. I got really excited and friended a bunch of people, and now I'm wondering what is the purpose of that, IYKWIM. I wish I had kept it to close friends and long lost friends (but then some acquaintances also friended me, and I can't easily say no).

I wish she was honest with you. If she isn't a close friend, perhaps just move on? I'm sorry... it sucks.

[conniez]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I wouldn't say that we were super close-talk-to-each-other-daily friends, but even after I left we all still made it a point to go out to lunch once in a while. The last time I saw her was actually her birthday lunch with some of the old co-workers (just before she and some others were laid off from the law firm). She is a very jovial, sweet person and I would be sad to lose her as a friend.

[kijip]

Deleted out of consideration for the OP deleting their post.