Do we have a Letterman thread yet?

[Fairy]

I'll go out on a limb and just say it. It's probably going to be unpopular. I prefer not to be flayed, but if you feel the need, then I guess I can take it.

It is clear that David Letterman cheated on his long-time girlfriend at the time. Who is now his wife. Who may or may not have been the mother of his child at the time.

That said, I do not think Letterman is a scumbag. I still like him. I have alot of respect for him for coming out and getting it out there, telling the world, yes, I did things I'm not proud of. He is risking his family and his show to not allow this person to extort money out of him. I respect him for that.

I understand that he makes jokes about other people who've done things in the same family as what he's admited to. That's his job, he's a late night comedian. I don't consider him a hypocrite. I consider him human. I am not saying he did the right thing cheating on Regina. I'm not saying I idolize him. But I am saying that I don't feel a whole lot differently about him today than I did yesterday. I am disappointed in him and just wonder if anyone in Hollywood is faithful. But I don't presume to visit my assumptions on to a person whose personal life is none of my business.

So. There ya go.

[arivecchi]

Meh...I've moved on. Don't care about it either.

[AnnieW625]

I'll go out on a limb and just say it. It's probably going to be unpopular. I prefer not to be flayed, but if you feel the need, then I guess I can take it.

It is clear that David Letterman cheated on his long-time girlfriend at the time. Who is now his wife. Who may or may not have been the mother of his child at the time.

That said, I do not think Letterman is a scumbag. I still like him. I have alot of respect for him for coming out and getting it out there, telling the world, yes, I did things I'm not proud of. He is risking his family and his show to not allow this person to extort money out of him. I respect him for that.

I understand that he makes jokes about other people who've done things in the same family as what he's admited to. That's his job, he's a late night comedian. I don't consider him a hypocrite. I consider him human. I am not saying he did the right thing cheating on Regina. I'm not saying I idolize him. But I am saying that I don't feel a whole lot differently about him today than I did yesterday. I am disappointed in him and just wonder if anyone in Hollywood is faithful. But I don't presume to visit my assumptions on to a person whose personal life is none of my business.

So. There ya go.

:yeahthat:I agree with Fairy, and couldn't have said it better myself. I don't think Letterman is a scumbag. Letterman ended up marrying the mother of his child and in all honesty I think that had Letterman lied to her about the whole thing it would've been a very messy ending to things and they wouldn't have married in the first place. Who knows maybe they were on the outs and things just kind of happened and then patched things up and got back together.

[egoldber]

just wonder if anyone in Hollywood is faithful

Honestly? I sort of assume no. Living in that world, with the incredible pressure and the constant fawning over you and temptation thrown at you...I think it seriously warps people, even the best of people. I do think there have probably been exceptions, but it isn't natural to live with that constant level of attention and scrutiny (Gosselins anyone?). It's the same thing I think happens to politicians.

I'm not saying it makes it right, but I think they are above all human, and the fact that they have human failings in the face of incredible temptation and pressure is not unexpected.

[Ceepa]

I haven't been a fan0f his for a long time. For a multitide of reasons.

[ha98ed14]

Living in that world, with the incredible pressure and the constant fawning over you and temptation thrown at you...I think it seriously warps people, even the best of people. I do think there have probably been exceptions, but it isn't natural to live with that constant level of attention and scrutiny (Gosselins anyone?). It's the same thing I think happens to politicians.


ITA with the above. I think it is a very accurate assessment.

All I can say is Leno would nneeevvveerrr do anything like that! ;)

[Fairy]

All I can say is Leno would nneeevvveerrr do anything like that! ;)

Heh. Yeah, sadly, I don't put anything past anyone anymore.

[ladysoapmaker]

I tend to get upset at those folks who get up on their high horse and wave the moral card then when they get caught try to either slink away and hide, tell everyone it's private and so nobody should comment or lie about it until an audio or video tape show up. With Dave it's different, even with all his jokes about the politicians who cheat, I don't recall him getting on his high horse and saying I've never or I wouldn't ever do that. I like the fact that until the extortion attempt he was trying to keep his private life private. You know even though he didn't do the best thing at least he's classy enough to admit he was wrong and not lie about it or try to cover it up.

Jen

[elektra]

By just admitting it, he difussed the whole situation and it is going to go away much quicker. Probably a good move on his part.
But yah when he made it joke it was like, "duh, of course I had sex with people on the show!" Implying that it would be more of a shocker if he hadn't.
The fact is that alot of non-famous people cheat too, so it's probably very rare that you find a celeb who hasn't strayed with all that attention and adoration.

[TwinFoxes]

Meh...I've moved on. Don't care about it either.

Yep. The affairs angle wasn't as interesting to me as the whole crazy blackmail angle. Producers for CBS news make very nice money. That guy was just plain greedy.

[shawnandangel]

So, David Letterman isn't a scumbag because of the way he handled himself when it came out?

Because that's what I'm getting here. John Edwards is a scumbag but David Letterman isn't because of the way they handled themselves when it came out what they had done.

Nope. Both are scumbags and the public knowing doesn't change it. In my opinion it was the act of cheating itself that makes them scummy. Just because one handles it better in the public eye than the other doesn't change the scumminess. All that means is that David Letterman is smarter and more clever than John Edwards and probably has better PR people.

So, good for him for admitting to it and not letting it drag out in the tabloids, but that was probably more the network's doing than his. Ratings. Ratings. Ratings.

[TwinFoxes]

So, David Letterman isn't a scumbag because of the way he handled himself when it came out?

Because that's what I'm getting here. John Edwards is a scumbag but David Letterman isn't because of the way they handled themselves when it came out what they had done.


So, good for him for admitting to it and not letting it drag out in the tabloids, but that was probably more the network's doing than his. Ratings. Ratings. Ratings.

To me, it's not just the way he handled it. The gross details of the Edwards affair, e.g. supposedly telling his mistress that they'd be together after Elizabeth died, are what makes Edwards a scumbag. Plus Edwards paying someone to pretend to be the baby's father? Ugh. There's also a breach of public trust that just doesn't exist in the Letterman case.

If the network really wanted ratings, they would have leaked that something big was going to happen on the show, and given viewers a heads up to watch. It took people completely by surprise when he told that story. JMO

[Moneypenny]

I don't have any opinion on the cheating (unless I'm one of the people having sex, I don't see how it's really any of my business). DH and I were watching this on the news this morning and I commented that I think Letterman is an odd choice for blackmailing for this particular thing. It's not like he's ever held himself up as some sort of moral compass or role model or that his job depends on him being an outstanding, faithful kind of guy. Methinks the blackmailer was not particularly smart.

[LarsMal]

I'm sure they ladies weren't with Dave for his good looks. Fame, money, and power can get you anything I guess. I am sure there are many many more celebrities and politicians out there who just haven't gotten caught (yet).

I am disappointed in him. I think John Edwards is far more scummy than Dave, just with the circumstances surrounding his affair, but Dave still cheated, so I have to put him on the ever growing list of Scumbags.

I think if Leno ever did this his wife would have his you-know-whats in her hand. I don't think she's a woman you want to mess with! (from the little I've read/heard about her)

[fivi2]

I don't have any opinion on the cheating (unless I'm one of the people having sex, I don't see how it's really any of my business). DH and I were watching this on the news this morning and I commented that I think Letterman is an odd choice for blackmailing for this particular thing. It's not like he's ever held himself up as some sort of moral compass or role model or that his job depends on him being an outstanding, faithful kind of guy. Methinks the blackmailer was not particularly smart.

:yeahthat:

[Fairy]

I don't have any opinion on the cheating (unless I'm one of the people having sex, I don't see how it's really any of my business). DH and I were watching this on the news this morning and I commented that I think Letterman is an odd choice for blackmailing for this particular thing. It's not like he's ever held himself up as some sort of moral compass or role model or that his job depends on him being an outstanding, faithful kind of guy. Methinks the blackmailer was not particularly smart.

I completely feel the same way, well-said. Also agree with Twin Foxes assessment of the dfference between these two people.

Another thing that is sort of fundamental, here, is that I'm not very judgmental about cheating. Because it's a kind of subjective thing. I do think it's fundamentally wrong, and I take it seriously for my own relationship. But I'm me. I have no idea what's going on in the lives of other people who are cheating on their commited relationships. Who knows if one of them one give them a divorce, is abusing them, or is just plain not in love anymore. Maybe they're together for the kids. Maybe Aquarius is in the fifth house. In other words, other people's cheating affects me nil. Doesn't mean a thing to me. I am certainly disappointed in Dave. But I don't really know what is going on in his life and in his head that impacts his choices. He's a private person, he doesn't put his life out there to be held to any standard at all whatsoever. Edwards was disappointing on a whole 'nother level. The guy wanted to lead our country yet was making ludicrous statements and deals impacting the fatherhood of children. Heinous what he did. Dave? Not the same for me. The bottom line of who sticks their thingie where? Totally not going to impact me.

[kijip]

Something like 1/4 of all husbands have at least 1 extramarital affair and close to 1/5 of all wives have extramarital affairs. That's a lot of "scum bags".

I have been married for going on 8 years and neither of us has ever broken our marriage vows, even when we were separated to work on some issues and lived apart for close to 8 months. I do place a high value on fidelity and monogamy.

But I don't see why making a horrible mistake makes someone a "scum bag" which is just basically another way of calling a living, breathing human LIFE trash. I would hazard a guess that there are women on this board who have either had an affair or been cheated on and then stayed with their husbands. I know there are women here who have been cheated on and then left their marriage. Both decisions- to work it out or to divorce are personal decisions and both options have worked well for many families.

When I was about 7, my dad had an affair. It was a colossally bad idea and it was wrong of him. But he is not a "scum bag" for making a bad decision, any more than a mom reading this board who yells at her kids is a bad mom for making a bad decision and not controlling her anger better.

My parents stayed together (in name only, though no more affairs after that) for the next 12 years and then separated and never divorced. For them, divorce was not an option even if their marriage had failed. There are other ways of thinking and living then, cheat=divorce or cheat=bad person.

ETA: John Edwards is smarmy on a whole different level, not jus because of his dumb choices but because of his arrogance. He is many things, humble he is not.

[deborah_r]

This is the first I've heard of this. Will have to look it up.

[GGrn]

Letterman wasn't married when Stephanie Birkitt worked for him. She was his assistant that was seen often on the show. I just read that she was until very recently living with the suspect. Yes he was with Regina his wife then but she was his girlfriend. Not great to cheat on a girlfriend either but he wasn't married at that time. Maybe they were an on/off couple and they were "taking a break"? Don't know anything about the other women or if he did this recently.
I do like Letterman for his wit but never because I thought he was a particularly nice person if that makes any sense. This is disappointing nonetheless.

[citymama]

I'm pretty impressed with the way Dave handled the blackmail attempt, nipping it right in the bud. And with the way he came clean, in public, using clear language and not obfuscating - no "I had improper relations" but "I had sex with female employees." No mincing words. For this, I respect him. It's not easy to do.

I am disappointed, but not surprised he has had affairs. That part I'm not condoning, but we know nothing about when these took place, whether he had come clean with his wife, what their situation is. So I don't think it's my business to judge there.

What's different with this versus Edwards or Clinton or that guy picking up men in airport restrooms (forget his name) is this: these guys held public office, or were campaigning for it during the time of their affairs and put their country and party at great risk by their indiscretions. They denied, denied, denied, and lied, lied, lied to us. When they finally fessed up (CLinton and Edwards anyway) they used euphemisms to couch what they did, and indirectly or directly ridiculed or embarrassed the women they had affairs with and insulted the intelligence of the nation and their families. With Edwards there was the paternity denial, having his staffer claim paternity, payoffs to the women. All just very, very tawdry and unclassy.

[LarsMal]

Something like 1/4 of all husbands have at least 1 extramarital affair and close to 1/5 of all wives have extramarital affairs. That's a lot of "scum bags".


But I don't see why making a horrible mistake makes someone a "scum bag" which is just basically another way of calling a living, breathing human LIFE trash. I would hazard a guess that there are women on this board who have either had an affair or been cheated on and then stayed with their husbands. I know there are women here who have been cheated on and then left their marriage. Both decisions- to work it out or to divorce are personal decisions and both options have worked well for many families.


Wow- that's a crazy statistic! (not calling YOU crazy or doubting it of course!)

Here's how I see it- and this is just my opinion...

Everyone makes mistakes. If a spouse cheats- for whatever reason- and realizes what they did was a horrible mistake and very poor judgement, that's one thing. If someone makes a conscious decision to do this over and over again, whether it's with different people or a relationship with one person, that is completely different (to me). Having just dealt with something like this with friends very close to us, I have to say that yes- when a person makes a conscious decision to have an affair- with blatant disregard for their spouse/children/family- they are scum/trash, whatever you want to call it. (Thinking more of Edwards here than Letterman, and the person I know.)

I really try not to judge people, and maybe what DH's friend is going through is still to raw for me, but this is something I just have no sympathy/tolerance for.

[TwinFoxes]

How do people feel about the fact that he wasn't married until this year? I know he has a son with his wife, but I certainly never got the feeling he wasn't getting married because he was one of those "it's just a piece of paper" kind of people. I definitely got the feeling he wasn't getting married because he didn't want to be (for lack of a better phrase) "tied down" and that he still wanted to be technically a bachelor. I guess that's another reason I'm not so worked up. I'm not sure I'm doing a good job of explaining it. I guess I'm just not that sure his wife (then girlfriend) would be all that shocked to discover he was seeing other women before they were married...he seems like the type of guy who would make clear distinctions between being married and having a girlfriend (even if it's a girlfriend of 20 years and they had a son.)

[maylips]

I'm kind of the opinion of the others who think that, because he wasn't married, his commitment level was not at the level of the Edwards' deal. And we have no idea where he was in his relationship with his now-wife when that was going on.

What I do wonder about is the sexual harassment part that no one has mentioned. Is there a problem with having sex with someone working FOR you, not just with you? I'm guessing no since the girl never has sued him or anything, but he was basically her boss - and may be of the others (if there are others) as well.

I'm a Stewart/Colbert watcher now, but Dave is my second choice and I'd still watch him, just as I'd still fawn over Brad Pitt if I met him even though he cheated on his wife. I don't have to agree with their lives to enjoy their performances.

[elliput]

How do people feel about the fact that he wasn't married until this year? I know he has a son with his wife, but I certainly never got the feeling he wasn't getting married because he was one of those "it's just a piece of paper" kind of people. I definitely got the feeling he wasn't getting married because he didn't want to be (for lack of a better phrase) "tied down" and that he still wanted to be technically a bachelor. I guess that's another reason I'm not so worked up. I'm not sure I'm doing a good job of explaining it. I guess I'm just not that sure his wife (then girlfriend) would be all that shocked to discover he was seeing other women before they were married...he seems like the type of guy who would make clear distinctions between being married and having a girlfriend (even if it's a girlfriend of 20 years and they had a son.)

The fact that he wasn't married until this year is why I don't think there is an issue. His wife was a former staff member, so she most likely knew what was going on. While David has managed for the most part to keep his private life very private (heck, many people had no clue he had a long term girlfriend), I really do not get the impression that he was anything but upfront with her. Which is probably why they were so long as an unmarried couple, it could have been that neither felt a marriage was the best thing for them prior to this year. Or it could be that he and his wife have a "don't ask, don't tell" type of relationship. :shrug: If it works for them- who I am to judge.

[Globetrotter]

This is nowhere near as slimey as Edward's affair (and the nasty lies that went along with it). I don't approve of it, and I'm sure his PR person is involved, but somehow it doesn't bother me as MUCH as some of the other scandals that were cover-ups. Maybe it's also because he's in show biz and not a politician who lectures others about "family values."

[Sillygirl]

Has Letterman said he cheated, though? He said he had sex with women staffers (Bill Clinton, please take notes) but I have no idea what things are okay in his marriage and what things are not. Plenty of Americans have open marriages - it isn't the norm, but it's not all that unusual, either. If his wife was okay with it then I don't think it's cheating at all. I know he sort of mentioned his family might be hurt - maybe he meant his mom, or his son in a few years when kids start teasing him. Anyway, I thought it was a pretty good illustration of how to defuse a blackmailer.

[vludmilla]

Honestly? I sort of assume no. Living in that world, with the incredible pressure and the constant fawning over you and temptation thrown at you...I think it seriously warps people, even the best of people. I do think there have probably been exceptions, but it isn't natural to live with that constant level of attention and scrutiny (Gosselins anyone?). It's the same thing I think happens to politicians.

I'm not saying it makes it right, but I think they are above all human, and the fact that they have human failings in the face of incredible temptation and pressure is not unexpected.

I agree with this. These are my assumptions as well.

[inmypjs]

At this point I find comparisons w/ John Edwards' affair to be difficult, because it seems like much more detail is known about that than about David Letterman's affair. It's not as slimey to me at this point, but I think a lot more could come out about it too. I guess I'm never surprised by this kind of stuff.

[DrSally]

My personal take on it is that I think he's going public as a way to stop the extortion, not necessarily out of the goodness of his heart/to be a stand up guy. I know it must have been very hard for him to live in fear for himself and his family. The part I feel disgusted with, is that he had sex with numerous staff. IMO, the male boss having sex with female subordinates (or vice versa) is an unequal relationship with potential for abuse of power. I'm not saying at all that there was any actual coersion, but I do find it slimey for the boss to be having sex with numerous subordinates, esp. when he's married. It's not like he had a "relationship" with one staffer, but sex with multiple female staffers, KWIM?

ETA: I didn't know that Letterman wasn't married at the time of the "affairs". Anyway, I don't think he's the lowest of the low, but I don't find his behavior admirable either. I personally wouldn't have a lot of respect for a man who had numerous sexual relations with women who worked for him.