Appropriate time to resign after returning from maternity leave

[maylips]

I've been back a whopping two days from maternity leave and my heart just isn't in it anymore. DH and I had talked about my staying home while I was on my 8-week maternity leave and I did kind of get in my head that I may end up quitting.

My question is, though, when should I do it? Do I owe my employers time - say 2 weeks, a month, two months? - since I've been out for 8 weeks? Or do I owe it to them to quit as soon as possible so they can find a replacement? I feel like if I quit now, they are going to be mad and feel like I took advantage of my leave time, but I also don't know if it's fair to pretend like I'm back 100% because I really don't think I am. FWIW, our handbook does not mention any time-requirement in returning to work to be eligible for the maternity leave benefits I received while gone.

Part of the problem is, I work from home, so I went from being home all day with the kids to now supposed to be on a computer or the phone most of the day with my newborn still here (so I can nurse him) and my other child at the babysitters' house (except Mondays and Fridays when my MIL watches her and the newborn both at my house). So I haven't (and can't) really "transition" back to work like a normal situation.

Anyway, would love to hear opinions. I want to be fair to my employers and at minimum leave on a good note for future references.

[infomama]

Would it be reasonable to sit down with someone in HR (or your boss) and explain your intentions prior to asking them what they see as a reasonable amount of time?

[elektra]

You have to do what's right for you. However, if it it was me, I would want to make sure no bridges were burned in case there was a chance I wanted to work for the company or in the industry again someday. Even if you are sure you don't want to stay, I would give it at least a week, maybe two and then just go to your boss and say you wanted to give it a try back at work but that your heart is not in it.
And then give your two weeks notice.
I might (but might not ;)) also offer to be available to help out with any kind of training for the new person once they hire him or her.

[doberbrat]

check your HR Guidelines. I know here, you have to work for 30days after returning otherwise, you owe back any pay/benefits you accrued on leave.

and frankly, I'd give it a little longer to see if it gets better. those first few days/weeks are SO hard.

[citymama]

Any chance you could use this as an opportunity to open a discussion about a more flexible work arrangement that could suit your lifestyle better? That way they are a) forewarned and b) might be willing to work something out that would suit you.

I would think carefully about whether you want to go to zero hours of work or if there is some middle ground that might fit your life better. I made an arrangement with my employer to take a certain period of time off, and then return at 50% time. My employer has been very flexible, so my hours aren't always during 9-5 - sometimes they are after DD's bedtime, sometimes early mornigns. I'm now at 75%, three and a half yrs after her birth.

[wellyes]

I would offer to stay as long as it takes for them to find and train your replacement (if you have confidence that they can do so in a reasonable timeframe). That's the best way to not burn bridges.

I had trepidations about going back to work after maternity leave, and when I brought up my concerns with my manager her response was "We'd love to have you for as many hours as you're willing to work". I ended up with a PT schedule that worked out really, really well for my family. So keep an open mind.

[KpbS]

I would only stay as long as necessary if mandated in your employee handbook or contract. If it is not stated, 2 weeks notice is fine IMO.

[wendibird22]

I agree with minimum of 2 weeks notice, but longer if you can manage it. And quite frankly agree with those who suggested giving yourself another few weeks before even deciding to quit. It is an adjustment and I know I wasn't loving life when I returned after DD (had been off for 12 weeks) and it took at least a month for me to feel like I was settled in a new routine.

Could you hire a sitter/nanny to take care of both kiddos at your house full time? That way you aren't trying to balance mothering the newborn and doing work, but still have the benefit of the baby being there to nurse?

[AnnieW625]

You have to do what's right for you. However, if it it was me, I would want to make sure no bridges were burned in case there was a chance I wanted to work for the company or in the industry again someday. Even if you are sure you don't want to stay, I would give it at least a week, maybe two and then just go to your boss and say you wanted to give it a try back at work but that your heart is not in it.
And then give your two weeks notice.
I might (but might not ;)) also offer to be available to help out with any kind of training for the new person once they hire him or her.

I agree with with what Elektra said. I once had to cover someones desk for six weeks while she was out on medical leave; she came back and two days later said she was leaving for another position with another company. Apparently she had interviewed before she went out on leave and they offered her the position in the middle of the leave. It kind of ticked me off that she gave us no clue she was leaving, esp. since she was gone for a while.

Could you ask for part time work for the next couple of months? That might give you some time to adjust to being home with DS and then eventually work your way back to full time? Also by then you might be ready to send DS to daycare. If that is not an option then I too would hire a nanny, but if for whatever reason that is not an option I would look at finding a daycare that will accept both of your kiddos all week except for when your MIL comes to watch the kids. I know it's probably not the bonding experience you are looking for but for the time being it might also be easier to pump a couple of times a day when he is at daycare so he can be bottle fed there and then maybe you can work in a lunch time feeding with him if the daycare is close to home. If none of this works for you finance wise then I would think about quitting your job, but only as a last resort and if you are truly unhappy. Who knows you might even miss your work in a few weeks if you decide to leave. As much I think I would've liked to a SAHM DH says I would've gone nuts and he's probably right.

[emily_gracesmama]

I would make sure it's what you really want since the first couple of weeks back is really hard, getting back into the swing of things, but I would also even explore part time options, that's what I do now after kids, work two ten hr days, and it''s the best of both worlds.

[arivecchi]

I would also advise you to wait before you make a decision. I honestly like escaping to work now that I have 2. :hysterical: Seriously though, I would not make such a big decision before giving it some more time. A dear friend of mine quit her job when she had her first daughter and would really like to work now but cannot find a similar job. Also, in this economy, it is nice to have more options - just in case something unexpected happens. Good luck with your decision.

[Moneypenny]

Speaking from the HR perspective, as long as there are no requirements about working a certain amount of time to retain your maternity leave benefits, I would expect minimum 2 weeks notice but would not be inclined to give you a positive reference in the future. If you give me 8 weeks notice, I'd have no problem giving you a positive reference.

[citymama]

PS I am in your shoes in terms of working from home, so I am curious about how you resolve this! I am not sure what will happen once DC#2 arrives and I try and work from home with an infant. We'll cross that bridge when we get there...

[frgsnlzrds]

I think you need to do what you need to do to be happy. However, as someone who would adore a work from home job and can't find one, I would give work another shot. Maybe just ask for more flexible hours or just more time off under the FMLA-aren't you allowed at least 12 weeks?

[Momof3Labs]

I'd give yourself 4-6 weeks to adjust to being back to work before making this decision. That will give you more credibility with your employer ("I really tried to make it work, but it's not right for my family") vs. making it look like you just came back to avoid repaying benefits during your leave. You may never care about a burned bridge, or it may come back to haunt you.

I also think that you will not adjust well if you are trying to care for your baby while working, since you can't give 100% to your child or your job in that situation. You need to have childcare for your newborn during your working hours, even if it is someone in your home who brings him to you to nurse. And this is coming from someone who has worked part-time, mostly at home but with childcare, for the last 7 years!