Is it ok to ebay the purse I took to the funeral? (close loss mentioned!!)

[SammyeGail]

My mother passed away last November, it was hard and I don't want to get into that, but I grabbed a black Coach purse to carry at the last minute since I was wearing black.

I was a purse I bought almost 2 years ago spur of the moment and never really carried, so its in awesome condition.

I have gone back and forth on this, if its ok to sell it. I know I will never use it again, since I used it for my mothers service, if that makes sense. On the other hand, *what if* down the road one day I wish I hadn't. I have plenty of special things of my mothers and things she made, this purse is probably the last thing I would want to keep. Every time I run across it in the closet I kind of cringe actually.

I do feel completely weird posting about this, maybe this is part of lossing a parent. I also feel like its such a silly thing to ask about, but I wanted other opinions, so here goes! Thanks to anyone for reading and replying and I apologize in advance if I in any way upset anyone.

Sam

[nrp]

I'm so sorry about your mom. Your post sounds like you really would like to get rid of it, especially the part about cringing every time you see it. I would think that your mom wouldn't want that, and truly there aren't any happy associations you have with the purse and your mom. If it were me, I'd focus on keeping special keepsakes that remind me of the happy times you shared and let the purse go. Maybe take the money you make and buy a really nice picture frame to display a picture of you and your mom.

[dcmom2b3]

Oh, I was just talking to someone today about how hard it is to figure out what to keep, what not to keep, when someone passes. :hug:

FWIW, I barely remember what I wore or carried at my dad's funeral. Wouldn't think twice about letting any of that go. But if someone were to touch one of his fishing poles (which are now mine) without asking, I'd go all kung fu on them. The fishing poles are the center of my memories of him, and of Bunny's memories of her dad, and, I hope one day her memories of me. (Fishing=love for us, I suppose).

Honestly, I love the idea of ebay-ing the purse and buying a frame for a special picture with the proceeds.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

I kept things of my mothers that were important to me. Like her robe and a specific shirt. I got rid of the clothes that I wore to the funeral also. I just couldn't wear them again. Is it bad to get rid of the purse because it was at a funeral. Ummm-no. What would be wrong is selling a piece of clothing that a person had been in at THEIR showing. Blech!

And it does happen.

[craftysierra]

My Grandmother died when my oldest was about 2 months and the outfit he wore (that I had bought at gymboree before her death and loved) was one of the first clothes sets I sold on ebay. I could not dress him in the outfit again. So for me I would say YES. Especially since you said you cringe when you see it.
Sierra

[kijip]

If I read this correctly you bought the Coach purse to carry to her funeral?

I don't see the issue with selling it if it bothers you to have it around and you are not using it.

[blisstwins]

I lost my father and totally understand irrational attachments, but if you bought this for the funeral and cringe when you see it get rid of it. It does not remind you of wonderful things.

Want to know my worst thing in this vein? For my father's 65th birthday I splurged and bought him something I loved that I knew he would love (we had similar tastes). I joked to my husband that it was a lot of money to spend but we would get it when he "kicked off." Mind you his father had lived to his late 80s and my grandmother until her mid-90s. I did not dream it would come back to me in any meaningful way. Well my father told is they saw something on his lung AT HIS 65th birthday dinner and that night my husband, an MD, told me--before an official diagnosis had even been made--that my father was going to die.

Every time I looked at that vase after my father's death I thought I was going to vomit. I felt like I cursed him. I did not take it out of the box until he was gone fror 2 years and now, after much talking, it is out of a shelf. At the end of the day I bought it because I knew he and I Would both appreciate it and it is the very last exchange of anything before I heard the news. Almost the moment after I gave it to him he told us and so strangely, it is the last moment of good. It makes me sad a little, but I could not get rid of it.

I am sorry to ramble. I honestly do think that as much as your purse is a connection to your mom, she never saw it and you did not buy it because she would have liked it. It is different from my case for instance and there is no reason you should force yourself from the negative associations. It's ingood shape and someone will enjoy it. You should sell it and buy that photo frame someone mentioned or something else that makes you feel good. I am so sorry for your loss. It is awful.

[AshleyAnn]

I would get rid of it. The funeral is over but the pain isn't and that purse only reminds you of the hurt you feel now and the hurt you felt that day. Why keep it? You have other mementos that can remind you of the happy times you spent with your mother. You will never sit down with your daughters and fondly tell them about how you bought this purse to carry to thier grandmother's funeral. The funeral will always be a sad memory and thats ok but its not something you will want memories of. Let the purse go.

[JustMe]

I have lost both of my parents and agree with everyone else. The clothes I wore to their funeral have no positive sentimental value to me. Actually, at one point I had to throw out a blouse I wore...I couildn't stand to look at it anymore, even long enough to donate it...felt a lot better when it went in the garbage.

[blisstwins]

It makes me sad to read how many of us have lost parents. My condolences to you all. Losing my father is the saddest thing I have ever experienced and I am so sorry for anyone, who, like me, had to raise their children without the m knowing their parents, etc. It is a sad thing for sure.
Sometimes I cannot believe my children have no memory of my father. How can that be when he was everything?