How to discipline toddler for destroying books?

[MontrealMum]

DS loves to "read" and be read to. He has lots of board books (I took the traditional paper ones away when he was too hard on them). For the past half-year or so we've been putting books on the shelf next to his crib so he can read them as he settles down at night, or when he wakes up early in the morning. It seemed like the perfect system.

So, three days in a row now we have gone into his room to discover mutlitated and destroyed books. [OK, mostly DH, I've been sick] This morning he was sitting there happy as a clam peeling the spine off of Harry the Dirty Dog - which is his favorite book! This follows on a fascination for peeling the paper off his crayons, so maybe it's related. Don't know.

So, what should I do? I do know that I'm going to move all the books out of his reach. But I don't know how to impress upon him that he's completely destroyed 2 of them to that point that they are no longer readable. And that as someone who liked reading them, he shouldn't want to do it again. I don't think he's truly going to get that they're "gone", or if I replace them, that they're different copies.

[pinkmomagain]

Well I'm no expert but *maybe*: mommy sick = destroying books? In otherwords, maybe he's having a hard time since you're not feeling well and he's not getting the attention he's used to when you are well?

If it were me, I don't know that I would punish. But maybe he need some supervision for a while with books? Maybe for a bit, don't make them easily accessible for him while alone, just with supervision so that if he starts to peel the paper or otherwise misuse the book, someone is right there to say "no" and redirect.

[TwinFoxes]

I don't think he's truly going to get that they're "gone", or if I replace them, that they're different copies.

I think you're right. But I'm wondering if at that age he will get it? (I honestly don't know.) Maybe you'll have to move them until he's a bit older. So cool that he loves books already though!

[gatorsmom]

I don't think there is anything you can do right now. He's too young. He's fascinated by the peeling paper. It's fun! He doesn't understand that he's actually destroying his favorite book.

Easy solution for now is to not put them in his crib and only let him see and play with them when you are around. He's not going to fall out of love with books. He's still too young. And mom and dad will still read them to him which is more fun anyway. When he gets a little older, try putting them in his crib or bed again and see what happens. When he's a little older he'll be more capable of understanding the consequences of not taking care of his things.

[kedss]

I have a 15 month old who is great at ripping. All I can do is take it away from her and let her know its not okay by my tone of my voice. It hasn't stopped her from doing it, but I'm hoping as she gets older she will figure out ripped books means no reading.

I'd move the books, maybe give him some cloth ones if you have some? my dd is still teething so I'm guessing that's part of our issue, since she rips and chews...sigh.

hugs

[egoldber]

I don't think there is anything you can do right now. He's too young. He's fascinated by the peeling paper. It's fun! He doesn't understand that he's actually destroying his favorite book.

:yeahthat:

Amy was VERY hard on books until she was about 2.5. It was only around that time that she really got that you had to be gentle on books. She could only have board books and even then she destroyed several. FWIW, Sarah never ever did that, so it was a shock to me!

[MontrealMum]

Thanks, ladies. I think you're all right, and that he needs to be supervised for now. It may or may not be lack of mommy attention - I would not be at all surprised if it is, he's very mommy-focused right now. I am also the disciplinarian (we're working on that!), and had not realized until last night what he was doing, as DH did not tell me.

It just seemed like such a great thing to encourage, even though he's not actually "reading" them, he really loves looking at the pictures and turning the pages. I don't really want to punish him, I just want to stop him from destroying more books - this could get expensive!

[egoldber]

You're not punishing him. You're removing something that is not appropriate for him right now. I wouldn't treat as anything punitive, just remove the books and replace them with something more appropriate for this stage of development. Cloth books are a good idea. :)

[Melaine]

My girls have had unpredictable moments of book-destruction at different ages. Right now, we have the board books within reach and the real books out of reach. To read the real books they have to get me for assistance. When I pull them down, I only let them have 2-4 each at a time. Not having a whole pile seems to help my kids and they only ask for them when they are wanting to sit and look quietly. In other words, when they are in a wild and crazy running around screaming mode, they may throw all their kitchen toys out of the toy kitchen while laughing maniacally, but they won't be ripping books to shreds. If they were in that crazy mood and books were within reach I think they might destroy them.

[gatorsmom]

Cloth books are a good idea. :)

ITA with Beth. You aren't punishing him by taking them away. He'll get a little older and you can let him try them in his bed again. He's just got to get over this "learning by destroying" phase. :)

[MontrealMum]

He's just got to get over this "learning by destroying" phase. :)
Yes, his fine motor skills are coming along nicely - not that this was how I envisioned that happening! I am off in search of the cloth books...

[brittone2]

You're not punishing him. You're removing something that is not appropriate for him right now. I wouldn't treat as anything punitive, just remove the books and replace them with something more appropriate for this stage of development. Cloth books are a good idea. :)

ITA :) YOu can still read books w/ paper pages but save them for when you are together. I'd remove the free access to those in the meantime, but I wouldn't state it as punishment. I would just do it matter of factly.

[mamicka]

You're not punishing him. You're removing something that is not appropriate for him right now. I wouldn't treat as anything punitive, just remove the books and replace them with something more appropriate for this stage of development. Cloth books are a good idea. :)

:yeahthat:

That was/is a very hard stage for me to get through.

[elliput]

My DD destroyed easily a dozen board books. Some I keep around and have tried to repair, others I just tossed. It definitely was a stage that she went through (which seemed to last forever...).