I thought I had dealt with these emotions

[cottagemom]

Years ago, my husband and I dealt with fertility issues, went through all the treatments, surgery, you name it...It never worked and I was crushed.

Now, we have 2 beautiful boys, who were adopted at birth. I have a wonderful husband and a great life. I would not change one second of what I had to go through because it lead to the life I have now.

This year, my SIL started fertility treatments and I was happy to give her and my BIL emotional support and guidance. I even gave some of the shots. Well, to make a long story short, it worked and I am so surprised at how emotional and upset I am. I thought I was past grieving about my losses. I have not talked to her yet. She left a message on my answering sounding very happy and I just could not bring myself to call her back. I spoke to my husband who confirmed the news. I don't know what to do, I am happy for them. I am mad at myself for having these emotions. It just feels like an old wound has been reopened.

[bubbaray]

Hugs, momma! I understand. I think that if you have gone through IF (regardless of whether it "worked" or not), it can be difficult to celebrate other people's PGys, at least initially.

Hugs

[Octobermommy]

Infertility is awful, no other way around it, it is the big scar I will always carry around. Don't feel bad for how you are feeling,it is normal and healthy. I still associate myself as an infertile person even though years of treatments and adoption have led to my children and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. It doesn't make it easier, most people think it should but it doesn't , at least not in my book.

[MamaMolly]

I think you are handling it very well. You came and posted here, a safe place to share the pain, and that has no effect on SIL's happiness. And when you are composed enough, you'll make that call. Give yourself time.

I agree with the PPs. There is nothing like hearing of another person's pregnancy to re-open those IF wounds. Please be gentle with yourself and know you can (and are) handling this with grace.

[cottagemom]

Thanks to all who posted and read my story. Feeling better now. I ended up emailing her to send her my best wishes and prayers. And let her know I was feeling emotional at this time. I told her I would call her later this week.

She emailed back that she understood and had been worried about telling me.

I don't often post here but I am a frequent lurker. It is good to have these forums when needed. You ladies rock!

[bigpassport]

Infertility is awful, no other way around it, it is the big scar I will always carry around. Don't feel bad for how you are feeling,it is normal and healthy. I still associate myself as an infertile person even though years of treatments and adoption have led to my children and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. It doesn't make it easier, most people think it should but it doesn't , at least not in my book.

:yeahthat:. Hugs, hang in there and know you are blessed.

[sarahsthreads]

I think you're handling it just fine. And obviously your SIL does understand if she was worried about telling you. You'll get to the place you need to get to to be happy and excited for her, it just might take a little extra time.

Sarah

[kittymom]

i know how you feel. i didn't have IF per say- but instead i have miscarriages. it took me a year to get pregnant with DS and i am currently dealing with secondary IF (again in the form of miscarriages). although i feel strongly about being there and helping women who miscarry, it always brings up the old raw emotions i dealt with and am dealing with now. i'm glad your SIL understands.

[happymom]

Thanks to all who posted and read my story. Feeling better now. I ended up emailing her to send her my best wishes and prayers. And let her know I was feeling emotional at this time. I told her I would call her later this week.

She emailed back that she understood and had been worried about telling me.

I don't often post here but I am a frequent lurker. It is good to have these forums when needed. You ladies rock!

Sounds like you handled it really well- sometimes just being honest is the best approach, KWIM? I'm glad your SIL is being so understanding. Hugs to you!

[chinook]

I can absolutely relate. I don't know if I'll ever lose the sting that I feel when someone announces a pregnancy. I thought in time it would pass, but I think that IF was such a deep hurt that some grief will always be there.

I guess I'm saying I think you're handling it wonderfully :)

Hugs.