How do you address your kids' teachers?

[Corie]

I sent an email yesterday evening to my daughter's teacher. I started
the email with her first name. It felt weird to do so but this teacher is barely
out of college. No more than 24 yrs. old. It would have felt odd to address
the email to Mrs. Lastname but it also felt odd calling her by her first name.

Disclaimer: I took my daughter to school the day before school started to
see her classroom and meet her teacher. At that time, she introduced herself
to me as Lauren. That is why I started my email with her first name.

Now, today, I got a response from her (about my email yesterday). She
signed it Mrs. Lastname.

I'm confused.

[Globetrotter]

If she introduced herself as Lauren, then it's Lauren :) I say Miss or Mrs. so-and-so since that's what the kids call them, but I became friends with a couple of them and find that odd now. I would follow their lead and I wish I had asked them what to call them!

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I address emails to my son's teacher as "Mrs. XXX." She signs her replies as "Firstname XXX."

I'm a little confused too, so I just stick with Mrs XXX. My son's teacher, however, is quite a bit older than I am, probably 20+ years?

[Laurel]

I usually call her Ms. Lastname, but that is because I am in front of the class when I am with her.

She introduced herself to parents by her first name. So, if I saw her at the grocery store or emailed her, I'd probably use her first name.

Teachers are so used to being Mr./Ms. Lastname that yours may have just signed her name like that reflexively...I know I am so used to being Mrs. Lastname when I am in "teacher mode" that my first name sounds weird. I would not take it as an indictment of your addressing her by her first name.

[kozachka]

I address DS teacher Ms. Lastname but she is older than your DC teacher. I tend to be more conservative in written communications with people that I don't know well - Ms. Lastname or Ms. Fistname Lastname.

[new_mommy25]

I always call them what they refer to themselves as. So DS's teachers are all Mrs. Last Name and DD's teachers (preschool) are all Mrs. or Ms. First Name. I don't think it's appropriate to call a teacher by their first name unless they introduce themselves as such, however I was raised call everyone Mrs. or Ms.

[kristenk]

In my second email to DD's teacher, I asked how she would prefer to be addressed in email form. In my first letter, I addressed her as Mrs. Lastname. When she replied to that message, she signed first name only. Her response was that I was welcome to use her first name but that she would respond to pretty much anything reasonable!

If the teacher had introduced herself to you as Lauren, I'd go with that in email. Since you did receive conflicting feedback, I'd just go ahead and ask which she'd prefer for email.

[LarsMal]

I call his teachers by their last names (which is what they do in the classroom), but the director by her first name. The teachers sign all of their notes Mrs. Lastname and Mrs. Lastname, but everything from the director comes with just her first name. I didn't even know her last name for a while.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Last year ds's teacher kept signing emails with her 1st name so I finally started addressing my emails to her by first name. This year I go with Ms. X b/c that was the way she seems to want to be addressed. In your case, Corie, I'd go with Ms. X unless she starts consistently signing with her 1st name.

My problem lately is that there are some of the teachers and staff that I socialize with outside of school but I don't know if I should formally address them in school or not. I usually do go with Mr. X but it feels so weird.

Beth

[Globetrotter]

Maybe you should just ask her directly what she prefers.

[calv]

Maybe you should just ask her directly what she prefers.

yes, my suggestion/thought too

[Pennylane]

I always use Ms. XXX although I have noticed a lot of people use her first name. I just don't feel comfortable calling teacher's by their first name, no matter what their age is.

Ann

[egoldber]

I address emails to my son's teacher as "Mrs. XXX." She signs her replies as "Firstname XXX."

This is what has generally been true for us. Both Sarah's first and second grade teachers could have been my children LOL. But I think it is better to err on the side of formality in written conversations with teachers.

[maestramommy]

When I was a teacher the parents (who were at least 15 years older than me) always addressed me by Ms. Lastname. I do the same for Dora's teachers, although here they go by Mrs. Lastname.

ETA: just wanted to add that when I was taking pedagogy my senior year in college (and 1st year grad school), we each had 1 youngun piano student. We were always addressed by Mr or Miss Lastname, even by parents. I think this (in general) is a way of impressing on people that the person in question is adult and a person of some authority, to the child as well as the parent. Otherwise if you're seen as just a "kid" you may not get the respect necessary to be effective in your job.

[wellyes]

The only people I refer to by title are physicians (who seem to really prefer that anyway). Otherwise we're all adults, all peers, so first name it is. Heck, many of my friends KIDS call me by my first name. If I'm FirstName to a 5 year old, then his teacher is FirstName to me.

Naturally I always, always, always defer to the other person's wishes when it comes to addressing them. If a person prefer to be Mrs. LastName, I'll go with that.

But it does bother me when teachers (or anyone) asks to be addressed by title, then does not address me in the same manner.

[infomama]

My e-mails are to Mrs. Lastname and she generally signs them Mrs. Lastname (Firstname).

[Corie]

I don't think it's appropriate to call a teacher by their first name unless they introduce themselves as such, however I was raised call everyone Mrs. or Ms.


I was raised to address adults by Mr. or Mrs., etc. too.

But, once she introduced herself to me as Lauren, then I thought that
is what I should call her.

Then, she threw me for a loop when she signed her email as Mrs. Lastname.

I'll just have to ask her.

[maestramommy]

But it does bother me when teachers (or anyone) asks to be addressed by title, then does not address me in the same manner.

Oh, I never called parents by their first name when I was teaching. That would've felt really weird. I mean, they weren't friends or anything. Only exception was a parent who did eventually become more of a friend, and we addressed each other by first name (on the phone or off campus only).

[WitMom]

My husband is a teacher-turned-stay-at-home-dad. His "rule" for this- if the parents called him by his first name, he called them by their first name. If they call him Mr. Teacher, he called them Mr./Mrs. Last Name. Maybe you could use that in reverse? What does she call you? If she calls you Corie, you call her Lauren. If she calls you Mrs. XYZ, you call her Ms/Mrs ABC.

[C99]

Our principal calls every parent by his or her formal name, refers to teachers/parents by their formal names in front of other teachers/parents, and never uses first names ever. I call my children's teachers by their formal names and titles, never their first names. Whether they are my age or not.

[ett]

I always use Ms. XXX although I have noticed a lot of people use her first name. I just don't feel comfortable calling teacher's by their first name, no matter what their age is.

Ann

:yeahthat: I tend to err on the more formal side. But I have noticed in conversation with other parents that they seem to use first name and Mrs. lastname interchangeably so I'm sure you're not the only one confused about this.

[kijip]

My husband is a teacher-turned-stay-at-home-dad. His "rule" for this- if the parents called him by his first name, he called them by their first name. If they call him Mr. Teacher, he called them Mr./Mrs. Last Name. Maybe you could use that in reverse? What does she call you? If she calls you Corie, you call her Lauren. If she calls you Mrs. XYZ, you call her Ms/Mrs ABC.

This is my guidepost too.