So am I invited to this baby shower or not???

[wencit]

About a month ago, I got an Evite from my friend's SIL (who we'll call Jackie) letting us know about a surprise baby shower for my friend. It turns out that after nearly 10 years of TTC, my friend is finally pregnant with her first baby. The Evite gave all the details about the surprise shower (time, date, location, phone number, etc), and told us to reply with our home addresses, and Jackie would snail mail us formal invitations. I e-mailed Jackie twice, once with my home address and once inquiring about any registries, but never heard back from her.

Well, the surprise baby shower is supposed to be next Sunday the 25th, and I still have yet to receive my invitation in the mail or hear anything from Jackie. What should I do? DH thinks I should still show up to the baby shower because the formal invitation is "just a formality." I'm kind of wondering whether Jackie decided to hold the baby shower at all. I should mention that my friend is only about 20 weeks pregnant, so maybe Jackie decided to change the date of the shower so that it's later in the pregnancy? I don't know. My friend is quite dear to me so I would love to attend the shower, but on the other hand, I don't want to show up to a party to which I've been disinvited -- if there will even be a party at all!

What do you all think? What would be the proper etiquette in this situation? Thanks, ladies!

[JTsMom]

I really don't think it's a case of being uninvited or anything, so I'd cross that off the list. Do you happen to have her phone #? Are there any other mutual friends you can check with to find out what's going on?

[mecawa]

I would try to contact Jackie one more time and just ask if they are still holding the baby shower for your friend. Or if you have a mutual friend maybe contact them (if you know they were invited). The invite may have been lost in the mail. We were invited to a weddiing of a family member in August, got a save the date card, but then no invite. My husband called another family member to make sure the wedding was still on, that family member called the groom, to which we were informed we were absolutely invited and we were the 4th couple not to receive the formal invite for some reason. They had been wondering why we hadn't responded.

[MamaMolly]

Yup, I'd go the direct route. Jackie may be a bit flaky and never got around to doing the paper invites. And as for the registry, I'd check online using your friend's name at the usual suspects like Target and BRU. You may have to jiggle the capitalization around, or maybe it is under her DH's name.

And congrats to your friend, we were 8 years of trying before lightning hit the first time. :)

[wencit]

Thanks, ladies. I was hesitant to call Jackie since I've never talked to her before, but I gave her a call this afternoon. (We have no mutual friends.) She said the baby shower is still on, but never made a mention about the invitation (and I didn't ask her directly about it). My friend isn't registered anywhere, and I checked the usual suspects like BRU and Target with no luck, so I'll just have to think of something on my own.

Thanks again. I'm glad I wasn't uninvited. :)