s/o...how about a bee for DS?

[megv]

I love this Bee costume for my little guy, but DH thinks it is too girly.

http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/hw125/index.cfm?pkey=challoween%2Dcostumes%7Ck

the pointed collar is not part of the costume - I have a plain black turtleneck for underneath.

what do you all think?

[happymom]

Adorable and totally fine for a boy IMO

[kijip]

My son wore that bee costume when he was 4. He picked it out.

I think it is cute.

Since when are bees, bugs and butterflies all girls?

Honestly, sometimes threads like this make me a little sad and a little worried for the cultural pressures we (royal we? Cultural we?) put on boys, from the very youngest of ages, to fit into perfectly with an unbending, unyielding, confining definition of masculine. And after doing that from infancy, 30 years later we are shocked and indignant that they don't know how to cook, clean or care for babies.

[shawnandangel]

I think that costume is perfectly fine for a boy! A big yeah that to what Katie said.

[TwinFoxes]

Since when are bees, bugs and butterflies all girls?

Honestly, sometimes threads like this make me a little sad and a little worried for the cultural pressures we (royal we? Cultural we?) put on boys, from the very youngest of ages, to fit into perfectly with an unbending, unyielding, confining definition of masculine. And after doing that from infancy, 30 years later we are shocked and indignant that they don't know how to cook, clean or care for babies.

:yeahthat: Especially the last sentence.

I don't have boys, but I don't get it.

[JTsMom]

I don't see anything even slightly girly about that costume.

And my contribution to the why is everything girly discussion is that DS was a kitten 2 years ago, and nobody could understand that a kitten could be a boy. Seriously. Apparently there are only female cats now. FWIW, the costume wasn't the least bit feminine either. It was all done in fun fur.

[g-mama]

My son wore that bee costume when he was 4. He picked it out.

I think it is cute.

Since when are bees, bugs and butterflies all girls?

Honestly, sometimes threads like this make me a little sad and a little worried for the cultural pressures we (royal we? Cultural we?) put on boys, from the very youngest of ages, to fit into perfectly with an unbending, unyielding, confining definition of masculine. And after doing that from infancy, 30 years later we are shocked and indignant that they don't know how to cook, clean or care for babies.

I said I would not put the ladybug costume on my sons. However, my dh and I do not create a home environment where there is pressure to be "manly" from infancy. My three sons have or have had: a play kitchen, two dolls, a stroller, a dollhouse, Hello Kitty and Dora toys (though I would draw the line at clothes, if that's important)....I'm sure there are more "non-boyish" things we have provided for them.

My sons cook with me, clean with me, help do the laundry and most certainly have chores they are responsible around the house.

We don't live by stereotypical gender roles in our home. My husband loves music, plays the piano in our home all the time, loves fashion and dressing well and doesn't like sports. He is incredibly helpful around the house and after working 60+ hours each week, does not sit down on the couch for a second when he comes home and does more childcare and housework than any husbands I know.

That, to me, sets a much more important tone in how my sons view their gender roles in this world than whether their parents thought it a good choice to put them in a ladybug costume or not as a small boy.

It was just an opinion on a costume.

[Wife_and_mommy]

DS was going to be a bee to DD's ladybug costume but he wants to be a twin ladybug.

My sister gave me a lecture about my 3yo ds being "manly".:ROTFLMAO:

[megv]

Thanks for the input.

It did not even occur to me that it was a "girl" costume when I bought it. It was just really cute, and an impulsive buy. Then several people who asked commented that a girl is wearing it in the catalog, and that it has wings. (dont all bees have wings?)

katie, I agree with you wholeheartedly. My boys are not at all tough guys and we have plenty of traditional "girl" toys. My hubby is the cook in this house, etc etc etc.

I just get tired of the comments from others when DS1 is playing dress-up or wearing his pink shirts. I don't want him to infer there is something wrong with what he is doing, especially when you hear it over and over. The opposite makes me crazy as well - I keep yelling at my sister for buying every possible pink product for her daughter.

[MamaMolly]

When DD was 2 she was a bee for halloween. In the handmade costume handed down from a friend's DS. :) And for the most part, the costume consisted of bee wings, I just bought a black turtleneck (from the boy's department) at Target to pin the wings onto. That plus the black aviator cap with antenna from HA and DD was an adorable little bee. Enjoy DS's bee costume, sounds cute!

[DrSally]

I think it's fine for a boy. DS was a bee for his first Halloween.

[mamicka]

My son wore that bee costume when he was 4. He picked it out.

I think it is cute.

Since when are bees, bugs and butterflies all girls?

Honestly, sometimes threads like this make me a little sad and a little worried for the cultural pressures we (royal we? Cultural we?) put on boys, from the very youngest of ages, to fit into perfectly with an unbending, unyielding, confining definition of masculine. And after doing that from infancy, 30 years later we are shocked and indignant that they don't know how to cook, clean or care for babies.

Well-said. A bee is not inappropriate for a boy. Nor are clothes with Dora on them, for that matter. DS2 was Piglet for Halloween 2 years in a row. He was a very cute boy Piglet holding onto his cars.

[ncat]

That, to me, sets a much more important tone in how my sons view their gender roles in this world than whether their parents thought it a good choice to put them in a ladybug costume or not as a small boy.

It was just an opinion on a costume.

I agree! - I don't think my concern about putting DS in a ladybug costume for reflects any reluctance for him to take on non-traditionally masculine roles as a grownup. I know I would never have bought or made a ladybug costume for a baby boy, we just happen to have one. DS is simply too young to be making his own choices. (I think that I would have no issues with a preschool age boy who decided to be a ladybug). We will have him wear the costume, but with a baseball cap if I can find one.

[kijip]

That, to me, sets a much more important tone in how my sons view their gender roles in this world than whether their parents thought it a good choice to put them in a ladybug costume or not as a small boy.



Of course that is more important. That's great and there are certainly people like you.

However, very often those that I have observed express this concern IRL and otherwise, as a general rule are the same sorts that would freak out if someone gave their son a doll or a kitchen. And how many threads have I read about if it was too girly for boys to have kitchens? I really do think it sends a message if a boy wants a costume and is told not to wear it...for example a flower or a bee chosen by a boy. Just this week IRL I was asked about the message I was sending by having my baby son wear a baptism gown...seriously? Gender has a lot of due with biology and nature but also has a lot to do with how my expect kids to conform to certain things.

[MamaMolly]

DS2 was Piglet for Halloween 2 years in a row. He was a very cute boy Piglet holding onto his cars.

Just an aside, but wasn't Piglet a male pig in the books? IIRC Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit, Eyeore, Roo and Christopher Robin were all boys. I always thought Kanga was the only girl. It seems funny (odd funny, not haha funny) that someone would have an issue about a boy dressing as Piglet. It is such a cute idea! Maybe because he is pink? :shrug:

And the Baptism gown? Puh-leezzzz. I wouldn't give it a second thought. The message a gown sends is that the parents are traditional. DD was in the gown used by her Daddy and 33 other babies over the last 105 years. Boys and girls, of course. ;)

I only have a girl (so far, dunno about Baby #2) but I think there are gender sterotypes on both sides of the aisle. Neither side has it any easier than the other, and I honestly believe it is getting better than when I was a child. Heck, when I first started teaching school about 14 years ago there was a book in the SCHOOL library that went: Boys are Doctors, Girls are Nurses. Girls cook food, Boys eat food. Boys make messes, Girls clean messes. On and on and on. I thought my head would explode!! It was published in 1975. I can't imagine finding that book being published today.

[nfowife]

My DS was a bee his first Halloween, to match DD who was a flower. No one thought he was a girl at all.

[mamicka]

Just an aside, but wasn't Piglet a male pig in the books? IIRC Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit, Eyeore, Roo and Christopher Robin were all boys. I always thought Kanga was the only girl. It seems funny (odd funny, not haha funny) that someone would have an issue about a boy dressing as Piglet. It is such a cute idea! Maybe because he is pink? :shrug:

And the Baptism gown? Puh-leezzzz. I wouldn't give it a second thought. The message a gown sends is that the parents are traditional. DD was in the gown used by her Daddy and 33 other babies over the last 105 years. Boys and girls, of course. ;)

I don't know if Piglet was a boy or girl - I've been told girl but I'm not a fan of Milne so I don't care much to check. Mostly people were horrified that DS was dressed in pink. It honestly never even occured to me that it would raise any eyebrows. DS1 was Pooh so it made sense to me. :shrug:

Katie, we used a baptismal gown (family heirloom) for our DS's as well. Nobody said a word but I wonder if they were thinking it wasn't appropriate. Again, :shrug:.

You know, I can somewhat understand gender stereotypes & such for adults. But why must it start with not just children, but babies? I almost feel like we corrupt our children, spoil them somehow, when we expect them to cater to such adult standards or rules for behavior - regardless of whether or not you agree with such standards, they should be reserved entirely for adults. IMO.

[maestramommy]

Oh that is cute! Does your Dh think it looks too much like a dress? I think it looks fine, but it depends on the age of the kid.

[DrSally]

Piglet is a boy! I was just reading something about a "new" Winnie the Pooh book (which isn't supposed to be that great for purists) that supposedly addresses the gender imbalance by introducing a female character.