How serious an offense do you think this is?

[LBW]

Said by my 7-year old son about the girl he sits next to (they're friends):

"Rachel bit my marker."

Tone was silly, not hostile or mean. Note that she did not in fact bite his, or any other, marker.

Guess his teacher's response.

[elektra]

"Kids, stay on task." or "No goofing off." ?????

[fortato]

Well.... She's a biter... who's to say that she's not going to bite a finger, or ear or worse.

I would have her suspended, or put into councelling. Make sure this all goes on her permanent record.




I'm kidding. But, I can imagine that it was blown way out of proportion.

[Laurel]

"Kids, stay on task." or "No goofing off." ?????

Yeah, that. Also, "no tattling unless someone is hurt or in danger".

[crl]

Hmm, the appropriate response seems to me to ignore it unless it was disruptive to the rest of the class. I'm guessing the teacher did something else since you are posting. Did she punish your DS?

Catherine

[BabyMine]

I hope she didn't send either to the principal or call the parents.

[Cheburashka]

I guess it would depend on school policy. At some schools, they have to take any reports of violence seriously. Still, I would think it's possible to take this seriously, but not overreact - maybe call you and ask you to talk with DS about it (boy who cried wolf, you know?), rather than hauling him to the principal's office like I suspect happened.

[MamaMolly]

:popc1: dying to know what happened...

[thomma]

You're not a dog/animal discussion.

Or...lately anything germ related swings right back to H1N1.

[LBW]

Let's see, she:

1) reprimanded him on the spot
2) kept him in for 10 minutes of recess (about 1/2) and had a "serious" talk with him
3) called me to discuss the "mean and hurtful comment he made to a classmate." She wouldn't tell me what it was over the phone.
4) wrote a note on his sticker behavior chart - that's how I found out what he said. He also told me about it when I asked.

Some of you may remember that DS1 has a fractured collar bone and the teacher is making him sit on a bench every day at recess, so he already feels punished. (Note that there are two girls in his grade with slings/casts for sprains or breaks who are allowed to play at recess.)

I'm beyond furious. I'm all for supporting her efforts to improve his behavior, but if this is her idea of a serious offense or an appropriate punishment, I don't get it.

[LBW]

I guess it would depend on school policy. At some schools, they have to take any reports of violence seriously.

I get this, and I would support her 100% if she had discussed it in these terms with DS1 and me.

[infomama]

Holy overreaction.

[ThreeofUs]

Holy overreaction, BatTeacher. Geez. She tense?



ETA: infomama, are we channeling each other?

[g-mama]

That is so over the top. Seriously??!! She is something else.

And have you addressed the situation where the other two children in casts/slings at recess are allowed to play but he has to sit? That's so wrong. He's not going to do anything to hurt himself. I broke my collarbone at age 12. He should be able to walk around so he can talk with the other kids.

[bubbaray]

I think your child is being singled out and bullied by the teacher. Honestly, I would go over her head if she was treating my child differently than the other children (re the recess).

[g-mama]

I think your child is being singled out and bullied by the teacher.

:yeahthat:

[LBW]

She's horrible. DS1 is a really great kid - he's very smart, responsible, eager to help, friendly, and used to love school. He is a 7-year old boy, though, and has a hard time sitting still and being quiet when he finishes a worksheet. It doesn't help that the classroom is set up so that the desks are pushed together, so he's right next to 5 other kids. Or that he can't talk to anyone at recess because he's on the bench, and they're all playing. I've had a couple of face-to-face meetings with her about his behavior, and several phone conversations. The worst examples she's given me are today's and another day when he *gasp* put a piece of paper on his head while she (or another teacher, I can't remember) was talking. Yes, that's not proper classroom behavior, but her response was blown out of proportion.

She has never said a single nice (or even neutral) thing about him. Her tone with me is always extremely negative. DS1 tells me almost everyday that she doesn't like him. I don't let him know that I agree with him, but I do think he's right.

I've also been very proactive in my support of her behavior mod plans. However, she never returns my phone calls - I call about once every week/10 days to check in with her. He's won his reward each week for achieving his goal number of stickers, but she has told me that his improvement is slight. If that's the case, why is he being rewarded??!

Ugh. I'm not looking forward to 8 more months of this.

[LBW]

And have you addressed the situation where the other two children in casts/slings at recess are allowed to play but he has to sit? That's so wrong. He's not going to do anything to hurt himself. I broke my collarbone at age 12. He should be able to walk around so he can talk with the other kids.

I talked to the teacher about a week after he broke it. DS1 was crying every night b/c he couldn't play with his friends. His orthopedist had signed him out of gym, but specified that he could play at recess. Despite having this note, the teacher told me that if he's not allowed to take gym, the school will not allow him to play at recess. It sounded like a school-wide policy to me.

I had heard from other parents that they didn't think this was the actual policy, but I only found out about the two girls this week. I (stupidly) asked H to call the school today to find out what is the official policy. (I couldn't call b/c I just started a new job and don't really have time to make personal calls during the day. Plus I'm trying to give H assignments like this b/c I'm sick of doing everything. But that's another post.) As is typical, H didn't follow directions and got no answers. So we're sending another copy of the note in to school tomorrow with a letter instructing them to let him play at recess per the ortho's original directions.

We'll see what happens. I suspect the teacher will push back, and my response will be a request for the school policy and an explanation for why my son was singled out.

[crl]

Wow, any chance you can switch teachers? I wouldn't suggest that lightly, but it seems like it might be called for in this instance.

Catherine

[infomama]

Holy overreaction, BatTeacher. Geez. She tense?



ETA: infomama, are we channeling each other?
ok that is crazy

[kep]

I think your child is being singled out and bullied by the teacher. Honestly, I would go over her head if she was treating my child differently than the other children (re the recess).

Yes, that send up a huge red flag for me. :(

[KpbS]

Let's see, she:

1) reprimanded him on the spot
2) kept him in for 10 minutes of recess (about 1/2) and had a "serious" talk with him
3) called me to discuss the "mean and hurtful comment he made to a classmate." She wouldn't tell me what it was over the phone.
4) wrote a note on his sticker behavior chart - that's how I found out what he said. He also told me about it when I asked.

Some of you may remember that DS1 has a fractured collar bone and the teacher is making him sit on a bench every day at recess, so he already feels punished. (Note that there are two girls in his grade with slings/casts for sprains or breaks who are allowed to play at recess.)

I'm beyond furious. I'm all for supporting her efforts to improve his behavior, but if this is her idea of a serious offense or an appropriate punishment, I don't get it.

Oooooh, this is THAT teacher. She already had it out for him. It seems pretty clear that she is just looking for any "excuse" to put your DS in his place so to speak. How irritating!!! !!

[michellerw]

Not only is she "that" teacher but I get the vibe that this is happening because he's a boy -- otherwise she'd be doing the same thing to the girls.

[MamaMolly]

So this teacher has got a normal 7 year old boy who needs an outlet for his excess energy and she's keeping him on the bench. Duh.

I hate to say it but I agree with the other posters who suspect that this teacher is not being much of a grownup here. She's letting her personal feelings effect your DS. What a bey-otch. That stinks.

[nellonello]

If you truly think the teacher is picking on him then get him out now. We decided to keep our son in a class last year (2nd grade) where all he heard was negative from the teacher and it shot his self esteem through the floor. I regret not moving him. What is interesting is his 1st and 3rd grade teachers were shocked when I told them about some of the accusations that his second grade teacher made.

[dcmom2b3]

I'm sorry, late to the party, but I read your post earlier and thought "that's not an offense, it's a kid with a (developing, sophisticated) sense of humor. . . " Anything other than ignore would be unwarranted and not advisable, IMO.

ETA: Sorry, OT, but this was my 900th post! I'm creeping up on four digits!!

[ha98ed14]

I can't help but think you are right; the teacher has it out for him.

[Tondi G]

when my DS had a broken arm he was not allowed to play at recess or lunch. He had to go to the office and hang out there for the 6 weeks. I sent him with a maze/coloring/activity book in case he was bored but apparently there were a few other kids in there and he had a good time. This was the schools policy. No hard casts on the playground, for the injured child's safety and also other kids who could potentially get hit by the hard cast (could knock a tooth out).

It sounds to me like this teacher has a problem with your child and isn't interested in trying to learn to like him. I would be speaking with the principal and attempting to have my child moved to another classroom.

[kijip]

Teacher needs to get a life and stop getting off on harassing your son.

I would go over her head about the recess thing.

I am sorry your son has a teacher like this. :hug:

[blisstwins]

If you truly think the teacher is picking on him then get him out now. We decided to keep our son in a class last year (2nd grade) where all he heard was negative from the teacher and it shot his self esteem through the floor. I regret not moving him. What is interesting is his 1st and 3rd grade teachers were shocked when I told them about some of the accusations that his second grade teacher made

Yes. Read Raising Cain: Protecting the EMotional Lives of Boys. This teacher could do so much damage to your son and turn him off to school for no reason. You have to advocate for him and reassure him that while he needs to follow school rules, you are on his side.

[LBW]

I've read Raising Cain and do agree. I'm just really wary of making waves in the school since I'm afraid the teachers and principal will close ranks and defend the teacher at the expense of my son and family. We have three children who will all be attending this school for K-5 in the coming years. This is a teacher with 15 years at the school who I've heard nothing but great things about from other families. I just imagine even moving him to another classroom would be a terrible battle that I probably wouldn't win.

Maybe I'm being too negative about my options?

I had spoken to the guidance counselor when this whole behavior fiasco began. I think it's time for me to talk to her again.

[egoldber]

What did the counselor say?

I am very with you on not making huge waves on the teacher, but there is still 75% of the school year to go. I would be very seriously considering pushing for a classroom change at this point.

I think you need a sit down meeting with the principal with no one else there. Lay out your concerns, what you have seen to date and see what they suggest.