Can my employer do this?

[deborah_r]

At my job they like to plan these parties. Next one is Halloween (10/30). If you are working that day, you are expected to atttend. It's not at our office, we have to drive to it (it's not that far, although it could be for some as our locations are spread out quite a bit). If you attend, you are expected to bring a dish. If you attend you are expected to be in costume. Did I mention if you are working you are expected to attend? So unless I want to use my Paid Time Off to take the day off, I am now required to spend my own time and money preparing or buying a dish and buying supplies for and creating a costume. They expect group-themed costumes, so I can't just, say, be a witch.

I thought this stuff all had to be voluntary?

[cvanbrunt]

Where do you work? I hate forced camaraderie. Can you tell them Halloween is against your religion?

[trentsmom]

Oh, I would not be happy about that, either. As far as costumes, check out the "last minute" costumes on Family Fun. A whole group of you could go as Black-eyed peas (http://familyfun.go.com/halloween/halloween-kids-costumes/last-minute-costumes/black-eyed-peas-669180/) or Smartie Pants (http://familyfun.go.com/halloween/halloween-kids-costumes/last-minute-costumes/smartie-pants-669189/). Anybody else have kids? You could each wear black pants, a solid color shirt, and go as the Wiggles.

Booooo to forced-attendance parties!

[Cam&Clay]

My husband is in the Army, and he refers to that sort of event as "Mandatory Fun."

I'd look at it this way...I'd rather be at a party than working!

[vejemom]

Could a bunch of you go as the characters from Office Space?

[twowhat?]

I HATE mandatory fun. At my old workplace, I would have to make up the work I missed during the day attending "mandatory fun" on evenings and weekends...and they didn't care! I would bring the cheapest dish and wear the cheapest costume imaginable just to make a point. That kind of thing pisses me off!

[AshleyAnn]

My husband is in the Army, and he refers to that sort of event as "Mandatory Fun."



Ditto! DH's unit is having a Christmas party 2 weeks after our baby's due date and we've already been informed he MUST be there, in dress uniform, and that if at all possible I need be there with the baby.

[MCsMom]

Ditto! DH's unit is having a Christmas party 2 weeks after our baby's due date and we've already been informed he MUST be there, in dress uniform, and that if at all possible I need be there with the baby.

Oh geez.

A little unreasonable no?

[MontrealMum]

Wow! I have no idea about the legality of that, but I am reminded of some friends back in hs (I am old!) who dressed as the California Raisins. That means donning a black trash bag. :p I think that's enough effort expended in this instance.

[sariana]

If you attend, you are expected to bring a dish. If you attend you are expected to be in costume. Did I mention if you are working you are expected to attend?

So what happens to you if you don't?

Doesn't sound legal to me, but what do I know?

[deborah_r]

So what happens to you if you don't?

Doesn't sound legal to me, but what do I know?


Well, I think if I just refused they would not force me, but it gets uncomfortable to explain repeatedly why you do not want to participate. I just don't have much free time, and do not want to spend what I do have doing this stuff outside of work in preparation for this event. Then I feel like I sound like a whiner or I'm exaggerrating, but seriously, we are lucky if we have clean underwear in this house, we are so stretched to the limit on time and obligations. I already spend like 8 hours a day there, away from my kids, and I think that should be enough.

It's just one of those things where you don't want to be looked upon as not having any company spirit or whatever. On the other hand, they do usually buy us a lunch about once a month and we get various little gifts throughout the years from the owners, so I guess I should try to remember those things and think of it as a trade-off. It is really the time that bothers me more than anything, not the money. It just seems like I'm already always going to the store or staying up late doing something for one of the kids classes and what not, I just don't need these added things.

In response to one of the previous posters, I guess I am weird, because I would rather just work than go through all this hassle to attend a party.

[Cheburashka]

Could a bunch of you go as the characters from Office Space?

Love this idea!

[KrisM]

How annoying. If I were in that situation, I would not want to go either. I'd rather just get my work done. My mom's company is like that as well. I'm sorry you're stuck.

[egoldber]

In response to one of the previous posters, I guess I am weird, because I would rather just work than go through all this hassle to attend a party.

I am totally with you. I hate mandatory fun and do NOT want to spend my precious evening hours on stuff like that.

If I were you, I would just pick up something at the store....coffee cake, pound cake, etc and call it a dish.

As for the costume, just beg your department for something easy.

[tnrnchick74]

Ditto! DH's unit is having a Christmas party 2 weeks after our baby's due date and we've already been informed he MUST be there, in dress uniform, and that if at all possible I need be there with the baby.


Um, I would NOT be taking a 2 week old out into the party population...and *I* wouldn't have been going to the party 2 weeks pp either!

[maylips]

At my job they like to plan these parties. Next one is Halloween (10/30). If you are working that day, you are expected to atttend. It's not at our office, we have to drive to it (it's not that far, although it could be for some as our locations are spread out quite a bit). If you attend, you are expected to bring a dish. If you attend you are expected to be in costume. Did I mention if you are working you are expected to attend? So unless I want to use my Paid Time Off to take the day off, I am now required to spend my own time and money preparing or buying a dish and buying supplies for and creating a costume. They expect group-themed costumes, so I can't just, say, be a witch.

I thought this stuff all had to be voluntary?

I read this and immediately wondered if your boss is Michael Scott. That sounds just like an episode of The Office.

[AnnieW625]

as much as I hate dressing up I'd rather be anywhere but my office. I say have a good time and bring the guys go to dish: a bag of chips and a liter of soda; $3 top max spent.

[hellokitty]

Sorry, but is Michael Scott your boss, lol? Sounds like something he would do. I would just make up an excuse to not go and not care what other ppl at work think.

[bubbaray]

I'm pretty sure you are sick that day....

[deborah_r]

as much as I hate dressing up I'd rather be anywhere but my office. I say have a good time and bring the guys go to dish: a bag of chips and a liter of soda; $3 top max spent.

Umm, it is also informally **strongly encouraged** that we bring homemade.

For the record, my boss is cool, this is coming from the owners of our company (we employ about 300 people). And the owners usually just have the assistants go pick something up from a local restaurant, while we are expected to spend our free time shopping, cooking, and transporting lovely homemade dishes.

[AnnieW625]

Well that's kind of a bummer, but if you have a crock pot, add a thing of Velveeta, a jar of Pace salsa, and a can of pinto beans. Simmer until hot. Now about $8 spent total. I do see what you mean though, they can't expect that everything be home made, esp. if you have guys at work.

[bubbaray]

See, when people "strongly encourage" homemade stuff for work, I just skip the event or make a point of bringing something bought. Like donut holes or chips & pop or ????

I hate cooking and sure am not cooking for my coworkers.

[egoldber]

I would make it a point to bring in something store bought. Maybe leave it in the bag with the receipt taped to the top. ;)

Seriously, what are they going to do?

[Momof3Labs]

Umm, it is also informally **strongly encouraged** that we bring homemade.


Buy a brick of cream cheese and a package of dry Italian salad dressing mix (good seasonings or whatever brand), plus a box of ritz crackers. When you get to the party, cut the brick of cream cheese in half (looks like two sticks of butter), roll it in the dry salad dressing mix, and stick a spreader in it. Surround with crackers. Voila, homemade, just not at home. No prep work except a few extra items bought during your weekly grocery trip. And it actually tastes *really* good.

[deborah_r]

Buy a brick of cream cheese and a package of dry Italian salad dressing mix (good seasonings or whatever brand), plus a box of ritz crackers. When you get to the party, cut the brick of cream cheese in half (looks like two sticks of butter), roll it in the dry salad dressing mix, and stick a spreader in it. Surround with crackers. Voila, homemade, just not at home. No prep work except a few extra items bought during your weekly grocery trip. And it actually tastes *really* good.

I'll have to try this, because it sounds not that apealling, LOL! I thought those dry mixes had to mix with the base for an hour or so before they taste good (like when you make onion dip with sour cream?)

You know what is also an easy one, you put a brick of cream cheese in a bowl and pour salsa over it (I like Pace for this), let it sit together a while, and dip tortilla chips in.

Also one of the best things I've had like that was jalapeno jelly over cream cheese, then spread it on crackers. But I don't know how to make jalapeno jelly, and store bought is not the same!

[Moneypenny]

You could be like one of my coworkers who painstakingly arranges chunks of spam and cut up fake cheese slices on a tray. (no offense to anyone who likes spam and fake cheese slices) Be sure to leave a few slivers of plastic wrapping from the cheese slices stuck on the plate somewhere.

They'll be asking you to bring something store bought next time!

[Tondi G]

I wouldn't go. I would tell them that morning that your child is sick and needs you at home after work!

[AnnieW625]

Also one of the best things I've had like that was jalapeno jelly over cream cheese, then spread it on crackers. But I don't know how to make jalapeno jelly, and store bought is not the same!

My mom who can't stand hot things loves this. I have no clue how to make Jalapeno jelly, but when in a pinch I always look on FoodNetwork.com for recipes and have had great luck with Emeril's recipes, Paula Deen's, Alton Brown's, and Tyler Florence's (Altons can be a little tricky though). You can look at a specialty foods store, but my mom is also cheap so I know she probably hasn't spent more than $4 on a jar of it.

[saschalicks]

One year costumes were mandatory at work. I was 7 mo pregnant. I went to Target bought the orange t-shirt that says "This Is My Costume". Everyone thought it was great. I think you should do that.

Another easy recipe is Stag Dip: 1 block of cream cheese and 1 or 2 can of chunky beef chili mix together on the stove serve w/tortilla chips. Done!

[miki]

I would just say that my kid has a Halloween party that I have already promised she could go to so I must take her as DH is unavailable.

[gatorsmom]

Dont' quote me on this, but if this is a private employer and you are HOURLY, they can't make you attend without paying for your time (and possibly OT), gas, expenses, etc. If this is a salaried position, after-hours social gatherings could be considered part of your job description so that if you don't come you aren't fullfilling part of your job and then, yes, they could legally fire you. If you consistently don't show up, they could officially add it to your job description in which case they are setting up a case to terminate you. I really doubt they WOULD terminate you for this, but if there are other reasons or they are looking to lay-off some people, not showing up to these events could work against you.

However, posters here sound like they have come up with plenty of great ideas to get you out of it occasionally. Sick kid at home, YOU are becoming sick, etc. Frankly, though, the homemade potluck things sound a little over the top. If it were me, I'd bring a brick of cream cheese and STORE-bought jalapeno jam, dump the jam over the cheese and HIDE THE JAR. If anyone asks what brand it is, you can lie and say you made it. Easy peasy. :icon_twisted: And honestly, I'd bring it to every party.

It sounds like this is a small company or department. There are some great advantages to working for a small or medium sized company. But these social gatherings are often, unfortunately, one of the disadvantages.

Go to the party and put a bag over your head and go as the Unknown Comic (remember him?). Wear a pair of sunglasses and go as a Shady Character. Tie a tennis shoe to your head and say that you are a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. Maybe by not putting a lot of effort into it, you will not only save yourself some time but get your point across subtlely. gl!